As we begin 2021 with great hope and anticipation that it is better than 2020, I wanted to take a moment to reflect back on last year was.
When the year began we were filled with optimism that 2020 was going to be one of the great years. You know, it had a nice ring to it, it was a milestone year, one to accomplish a lot, to look back on and think... Yep that was a great year.
By mid-March we were hunkered down in our homes, trying to avoid catching the Coronavirus and watching as the world was changing in a moment each and every day. We had no idea then that when we followed stay at home directions, it would be now January 2021 and we are still following the same orders. I guess maybe there is some good in not knowing the future and just living in the moment.
We have been very cautious in following the guidelines and doing what we can to stay safe. Some think we are living in fear, some think we are being paranoid and missing out on life. I look at it a different way, I look at it as a way of protecting my family. I feel like in life there isn't too much we can control, but my family's safety is something I will try to do my best to protect and if that means I should stay at home with them, then that's what we've done. I guess we all have to live life the way we see best.
As isolating and hard as it feels to stay at home each and everyday and limit our social circle to pretty much our immediate family, we have also had to realize that isolation and being at home comes with other challenges too. The kids have been online for school since March and while some have thrived, others have struggled. It is interesting to see how some of the kid's personalities either fit or clash with online schooling. As a result we had to weigh hard decisions and made the decision to send a couple of the kids to school in person, while making sure safety measures were in place that could help keep our family safe. It reminds me that the social interaction is so important for all of us. Through it all, we have tried to find ways for each of the kids to have some sort of normalcy with life. For Jennings I think he's adjusted to thinking there isn't a life outside the walls of this home and our front yard (except when he goes to Nana and Papas), he's as happy as a camper.
Life this fall went from crazy to insane. The kids were online for school as we started in August, dad and I tried to balance watching the kids and working from home and then nursing school started. I knew it was going to be a lot, but holy cow, I was in for a loop. Nursing school pretty much consumed every moment of life outside of caring for the family, working and sleeping (well it consumed sleeping hours too). I told myself my goal was to pass each block, while I've maintained a 4.0 GPA through all my pre-requisites and schooling thus far, I was not naïve to realize that taking 15 credit hours, plus working, and trying to help the kids with homeschooling was going to be super hard. Surviving is the word I think I most frequently used in my response to "how are you?" And that word truly became the word for all of us. We lowered our expectations, gave ourselves grace and just tried to make it.
Thankfully we did but honestly it was rough. I think had the pandemic is partly to blame but also just the lives we lead. We thankfully cut down on almost all extracurriculars so there wasn't the running like normal but there was the other challenges that seemed to be replaced. For example trying to run a Zoom meeting with your colleagues while watching a 1 year old. Minutes into the meeting after Jennings dumped an entire bottle of water on the carpet and started screaming, I realized just how hard it is to try to balance a professional life, and mom life mixed. Thankfully my co-workers were understanding and let me reschedule, but still felt like another mom/professional worker fail.
As December came to a close as we finished the semester, we all desperately looked forward to this break to find a way to recharge. Our batteries have been in the red for too long. I think we all have enjoyed the lazy mornings, the family movies and the time just spent at home without the list of tasks to power through. I am proud that I was able to finish my first nursing block and keep my GPA where it was, and that the kids had a nice Christmas. Michael thrived this fall, worked his tail off at school and has really stepped up in his maturity and responsibility. He desperately wanted to go to Iowa to visit family and so last minute we decided to let him go (he was the only kid who has been online for school since March) and we felt he had earned some restful time away). He had a blast and while we missed him for the holidays, I hope he was able to recharge his battery, as the rest of us did. Again, this is the time when we strive for just making it through, rather than having it be pretty.
Looking forward to 2021, I think back to 2020 and while the hard things we encountered seem to still rise to the surface, the truth is there was still a lot of good. Looking back at the fall here are some of the great things that happened that I didn't have time to blog about...
Madelyn went to preschool... Mid-October we made the decision to send Madelyn for in person pre-school at the elementary school where Isabelle was going. They have many safety measures in place and a mask policy. I've learned the littler kids don't even question wearing a mask the correct way, it just what you do. Madelyn was so excited to go to school, she loves it, her teachers, the friends she made and looks forward to learning. She can't wait to go back to school on Monday. Here are some pictures from her first day.
When we first went into quarantine, Jennings was only 8 months old, and here we are now 10 months later. I've realized that most people haven't seen him since he was a baby and he's definitely not that anymore. He's a full-fledged toddler with more energy, curiosity and spunk that I remember any of the other kids having. Maybe its because he's the first baby boy we've been able to raise, the big boys were 3 and 4 when they came home, so this is kind of new. Jennings is not a good sleeper, he is up multiple times in the night, we've resorted to driving the freeways in the middle of the night to try to get him back to sleep. This Christmas his favorite thing to do was to rearrange (destroy) the decorations on the trees. Everything on the bottom three feet of the trees were either empty or extremely messed up, we just let it go as part of fitting in with the theme of 2020.
