I found it!

i wrote this last week after a wonderfully rainy day in the desert.  for some reason i didn't get around to posting it.  i'm guessing i was interrupted; that happens in my life sometimes. :-)

As I biked into work today, the brisk, moisture-filled wind slid down the back of my neck and I felt the rain hit me in the forehead. I couldn’t help it; I smiled. It didn’t matter that the temperature was a cold 43 degrees and that is was raining. I smiled.
I arrived at work and fumbled with my bike lock, something now a week into practice and I still can’t figure out how to use. I calmly sighed, took the piece that connects with the bar apart and again attempted to secure my new and reliable means of transportation, my bike. I smiled. Three flights of stairs (for this out-of-shape, 30-something mom) later, I found myself still smiling. I rounded the corner toward the front office door and with my reflection peering back at me through the clear window, I realized the person staring back at me was the person, I worried, I had lost.
I’m happy and so extremely thankful for finding something I realize now, I had so desperately missed. I’ve found my balance.
We’ve all heard about balance and the importance of maintaining it in one’s life. A few months ago, I participated in a meeting, maybe I should say support group, with other working parents where the topic of discussion was about finding balance in the middle of chaos. I remember laughing to myself, thinking how in the world will I find time to incorporate balance in my life, I hardly have time to spend 3 minutes brushing my teeth. More exhausted, overwhelmed and stressed than I’d ever been, I knew the time was coming. With each passing day of chasing down chaos and fighting to stay above water, I had succumb to the realization that my unbalanced life had gotten the better of me, more importantly to us, my family, and something had to change.
As a little girl picturing what my future would look like, there were two things, I knew no matter what, I had to achieve. Two goals that I knew in my core would make me the person I wanted more than anything to be. While some dream of being president and others CEO’s of billion dollar companies, my dream was to be the Co-CEO of a family and a marriage. My sights were set on being a mom and a wife. I know some people would say I should strive for something different, for accomplishments more worthy of admiration and praise. And I’m okay with others thinking that of my goals. I believe we are all put on this earth to do different things and at the end of my life, the most important thing to me is not the title I possessed or the salary I took to the bank. I want my life to be defined by the love I shared with my partner and by the unending support, the encouragement, praise, and guidance I’ve poured into three little people who God gave me to love. THAT is my purpose.
I finally feel I am at a point where I am able to fulfill my purpose in life. The opportunity to work part-time has given me insight into what it means to have balance in one’s life. While at work I feel I still have a purpose, I’m helping students and contributing to the goals of the office I belong to. While at home I’m contributing to my family and to the goals of our organization.
The change in our lives over the past three weeks, is remarkable. It is a change visible in all of our lives, there is time, there is happiness, there is peace. There is time to do homework, to play, to read and to celebrate just being together. There is happiness. Happiness in the simple stuff… visiting the library, finding cool rocks in the backyard, fort making in the living room, and the return of silly, giggle tickle times that as the boys put it (Mommy I didn’t think we’d play like this anymore). There is peace. Peace that was invisible in the weeks/months before. Peace to play silly games, to enjoy homemade dinners, and even races to fold the laundry the fastest… together.
I realize the ability to work part time is truly a gift and one I will be forever, forever grateful for. I am extremely thankful for my husband’s support for without him and his commitment to our family, I know, I’d still be struggling to juggle the many balls in the air (I’ve never been that great of a juggler).
If one key to happiness in life is finding a balance, I’ve learned it isn’t always easy to do but that doesn’t mean it isn’t important to find. I'm so happy to have found it, and I never want to forget just how special, how important this gift is.
Until next time,

angie

Family Fall Photos

A few months ago, we had our family pictures taken again.  Partially becuase the kids seem to grow and change as fast as we change our socks, and partially becuase our friend Ashley West is such a wonderful photographer. 

Here's a sneak peak at some of my favorite ones!...

until next time,
angie

Look who can feed herself with a spoon?

Yep, that's right... Belle can.  It's  definitely not pretty and she makes a huge mess, but we celebrate anyway!

Until next time,
angie

Who left the fridge open??????

It is common practice around our home to find the refrigerator door left wide open and no one around.  Common, almost as common as leaving the lights on when no one is in a room.

So the other day when I was in the front room cleaning up some of Isabelle's toys, I walked around the corner to see this...

 At first I wasn't too surprised, Gabriel or Michael forgot to close it.  However as soon as I yelled "BOYS!!!"  I remembered they weren't even home.  It was just Isabelle and I.  So around the corner I went a bit more...

 I recognize that little person.  Somehow she either finally figured out how to get the refrigerator door open or someone left it slightly open and she decided to take advantage of the opportunity.

 

So I quietly peeked around to grab my camera and came back without her hearing.  She must have been pretty focused on getting into one of the vegetable drawers.  I said, "Whatcha doing?" and startled her.  She hightailed it out of that fridge so quickly, I've never seen her move so fast.   Guess she knows thats not a place mom thinks is okay to play.

 

It was pretty cute but it made me realize, gone are the days of assuming it was the boys leaving the fridge open 

 

Until next time,

Angie

 

The fire in the neighborhood

Last night, the house directly across the green belt from us was burning.  I guess their chimney caught fire and thus the entire neighborhood was lit up with fire trucks.  When I went outside to watch what was happening, there were 4 fire trucks, including a ladder truck and a whole slew of police cars.  It was a pretty big thing for the neighborhood.

This morning when I woke the boys up for school I told them about the fire and using anything I can to motivate them to move faster, I told them we'd drive by the house if everyone was ready to go early and didn't have to have me telling them to do each and every step of getting ready.  Turns out, it worked and what can only be described as nothing short of a fluke, we were all ready ahead of schedule this morning and so as promised we left in time to drive by the scene of the fire.

As we drove by and with the sun barely up, the fire crew or family who lives in the house, had already pulled a huge pile of burned items out of the house and to the curb.  Looking at the house, it was clear the entire side of the house where the chimney was, was destroyed.  Slowly driving by I said how sad I felt for the family as they couldn't stay in the house.  Immediately Michael and Gabriel asked, "Mom, where are they living now?"  I responded, "They probably stayed in a hotel last night or maybe with family."  "Why mom?  Why can't they stay there?"  (being that the structure of the house is still in tact, I guess it was a legitimate question).  "Well Gabriel, they can't stay there because of the damage done to the house.  The inside is probably burned, plus smoke is inside and right now the house doesn't have any power so they wouldn't have any heat."  Upon hearing my response and as they still plastered their faces to the window to take in every detail, Michael asked, "Mom will they stay in that house tonight since the fire is out?"  "Probably not Michael, the house doesn't have any power and so it would be very cold.  They'll have to wait until the house is repaired.  And immediately Michael responded, "Mom, we should go help them.  I have tools and I can fix their house."  Gabriel thinking he was one step ahead said, "Michael but you can't because they don't have any heat and it would be too cold."  To which Michael said, "Gabriel we can just take heat with us."  "No we can't Michael, you can't take heat." Gabriel said as if Michael suggestion was completely silly. By this point we had left our neighborhood and were on our way to school.  Given that it was only 35 degrees when we left the house, there was steam rising as we crossed over a water canal.  Back to their conversation Michael retorted, "Gabriel yes we can take heat with us, we can just put it in a bag and carry it with our tools."  Expecting Gabriel to come down hard on Michael for such a silly idea, I was waiting for his response.  Being that Gabriel is the self described older and more smarter brother (only because he's older though), I was surprised when instead Gabriel was quiet.  he was in thought.  Just a few moment's later Gabriel started pointing to the steam coming off of the water pump near the canal and exclaimed, "That's a great idea Michael, we can just put heat in the bag, see Mom there's heat right there!" 

Until next time,
Angie

One

Dear Isabelle,

 

Today you officially turned one.  It still makes Daddy and I think someone hit fast forward on our life as we shake our heads and say you can't already be a year old. But the truth is that 365 days ago you made this world better by your presence, brought us more love than we ever dreamed and made our lives complete.

Daddy and I will never forget how surprised we were when we got the call about you.  See, you are the dream we had for many years and, if I'm being honest, I some times lost hope that it would ever come true.  And then, when we least expected it, you were there.  Just like when we learned about your brothers, being told that we were going to get to be your parents, restored our faith.  And meeting you, brought us love, a love so strong, so true and so wonderful, that my heart overflows each and everyday with happiness.

Simply put, in our eyes...You are perfect.  From your tiny fingers to your tiny toes,  you are the perfect addition to our family and you make us complete.

You have taught us to enjoy life's simple things, to smile just because you can, and to love with as much love as you can give.

If you ask each of us, we'd all agree, we think your name fits you perfectly, for you are a thing of beauty.  Those eyes, those beautiful deep eyes that tell a story with every glance.

And your reactions, your personality, the silly faces you make and the funny moves you share...

it has been so much fun watching you grow and seeing your personality come to life.

As I think about the past 12 months, I can honestly say there hasn't been one day that has gone by that I didn't love everything about you.  Everything from your heart-melting smiles, to fully body giggles.  I love everything, even the drool as it rolls down your shirt.

And this look... the wide eyed look of surprise and happiness.  It is what I dream about when I'm at work, and the vision I can hardly wait to see as I pick you up from school. That moment when you realize you really are seeing me and that I have come back to get you.  Then, that moment of surprise turns to....

this.  To happiness and smiles and big "O" faces.  With the waving of your arms and the shrieks of your voice, I know that that is love.  Seeing you recognize me as your mom, and that you missed me as much as I missed you melts my heart each and every time. 

I love you Isabelle Grace. We all love you.  God has a special plan for you my child, I can feel it and with my whole being I believe it.  For God spent a lot of time making you special...

so very very special. 

As we celebrate your first year, and cherish all the memories; we look forward to the future. I can't wait to experience the stories that those eyes will tell. 

I can't wait to capture all the laughs, the giggles and the belly jiggles as you play with your ever so loving brothers.

My sweet and precious child, thank you.  Thank you for being such a wonderful gift.  For getting to be your mom is just that... a gift. 

So tonight as we celebrate your first of many birthday's to come...

we wish you happiness, health and lots and lots of love.

Happy 1st Birthday Isabelle Grace...

now let's go celebrate and eat some cake!

Until next time,

Angie