A visit from Roly Poly...

Earlier this week, Roly Poly the beautiful little baby, now girl, who came to stay with us over Christmas came back for a visit.  Her foster parents had to attend a meeting and needed someone to watch her.  We agreed and for a few hours Roly came back to our house. 
In the past 6 months since her visit, I can't count the number of times I've thought about her.  I wondered how big she was now, if she was walking and talking and how many teeth she had.  I also wondered where she was and if she was reunited with her birth parents or still at the foster home.   We hadn't heard anything about her since the day she was picked up back in December.   And yet, she still remained in my mind and in my heart.


As she walked through the door of our home, she was no longer a baby, a todler now, but still the same pretty little girl.  Her contagious smile from ear to ear graced our eyes and as she came waddling in, she made herself right at home.  I"m not sure if she remembered the place, as it looks different without all the "Christmas clutter" as Jarrett likes to say, but happy she seemed and not scared at all when her foster parents, the ones who've cared for her since she was 4 months old walked out.
Looking back now, in a way I think of our time with Roly as a preview of what our life was soon to become.  For those 7 days in December we welcomed her into our home and into our family and gave her the love all children should have.  All along we knew our care for her would just be temporary, a very short glimpse of time in her entire life, but we cared for her as if she was our own.
Little did we know, that less than 2 months later, we'd be opening up our hearts again to welcome our own little girl into our lives.  In a way Roly prepared us for the magic and wonder that is having a little girl.  After spending time with her, it became clear to Jarrett and I we were ready for number 3 and that we did have enough love in our hearts for another one. 


As Roly Poly's foster parents picked her up, they shared that Roly was returning to her biological family and that she would be reunited with them in the next few days.  Like a chapter book with a happy opening and closing, Roly's story will hopefully be that.  Although the pages and chapters in the middle can be filled with struggles and challenges, she is getting to go home to her family.  It is my prayer that she has a wonderful life and the hardest struggles of her story are behind her.


In a way I have Roly to thank for guiding us to Isabelle. Isabelle's addition to our family is perfect and the happiness she brings us would never had been known without Roly's visit.
As Roly grows she will probably never remember us, but we will always remember her.  There's that one saying about the number of lives one will impact in their life.  The truth is Roly's, at only 6 months old, impacted ours. 


We wish you the best Roly and thank you for the lessons you've taught us.


Until next time,
angie

Waiting is the hardest...

Remember when you were a child and waiting was the worst?
You know, when your parents told you about something exciting to look forward to:


• we’re going on vacation next weekend
• your friend can stay overnight on Friday
• Schools out in 3 months


It took forever. Whenever it seemed there was something exciting to look forward to, it never could arrive soon enough.


As an adult, I now like the idea of planning something far enough in advance, where I can build it up, plan it out in my head and relive it over and over and over. Vacations for example, I tell Jarrett as soon as we get back from a trip, I need to know what we are going to do next. It doesn’t have to be anything big, but I need to know, because I need to look forward to it, to plan it and to count down the days until it arrives.


I thought as an adult I would feel this way about all things planned in the future. It turns out though there is one thing that I can’t wait any longer for. And that thing is waiting to adopt our daughter. It is the hardest. Every morning I wake up and count down the days until our next court hearing, the one where severance should finally be granted and spend multiple times a day, thinking/praying that God allows her to be ours forever. Every night as I lay in bed saying my prayers and looking at her beautiful sleeping face in the bassinet next to me, I say thank you for one more day. She’s in my heart and she’s in our future as we plan for things 6 months, 1 year, 5 years and 30 years down the road. She’s in our lives forever, and we can’t imagine anything without her. The truth is though, that until that special day when the judge confirms my thoughts and issues that new birth certificate listing Jarrett and I as her parents, I have to wait. Waiting is the hardest.


I try to keep the faith and trust that God called us to be there for her when she was born and for the rest of her life. God willing we will be her parents and Gabriel and Michael her brothers forever. Deep in my heart I believe it will all work out, but there are moments of doubt, anxiety and worry that seep in like a water running through a crack in the sidewalk. Those are the hardest moments. Being a person who likes to have control and feel comfortable in a situation, this experience gives me nothing of that. Instead I feel like a leaf in a flooded river being tossed from bank to bank and sucked under by the current. Some days it is hard to mask my feelings, to continue to believe. I turn to Jarrett, who as a man, I don’t think is weighted down by such worries. He believes it will all work out and so there is no need to waste any more time worrying about things that could possibly happen. Many times I have to turn to him, divulge my insecurities and it is him who reminds me of the beautiful face we have with us and to celebrate the moment.


He is right, and celebrate each moment we have. So that is what we do each day. Wake up giving thanks to God that Isabelle (our special Isabellie bellie) is waking us up with her baby coos and smiles and celebrating the blessings each day brings… from rolling over to giving baby kisses. She (and our boys) bring us so many blessings and so much love, I give thanks today for them.


But that still doesn’t mean I’m not counting down the days until she is forever ours. Waiting is the hardest…


Until next time,


Angie

Sticks and caution cones...

I've said it before and I'll say it again,  I wonder why we spend any money on actual toys for the kids.  The truth is, they'd much rather play with random stuff around the house.  Take for example the caution cones  Jarrett has for some reason, and this stick from our front yard.  What fun could be had with this?

ALOT!   Turns out caution cones and a stick make and excellent weapon

And they make an excellent peg leg...

And I guess even in some cases, they make excellent peg legs...

 Until you realize it is really hard to stand up on your own with cones for legs...

Here's to enjoying all the non-toys around the house...

until nex time,
Angie

Pool Daze...

Summer is here and the temperatures are rising... that means it is time for pool parties.  Saturday night we had Jarrett's family over to enjoy some pizza and go swimming.  Although we didn't even make it into the pool until almost 7 p.m., there was a lot of fun had.

There were 8 kids all 8 years old and younger.  Although the cousins hadn't seen each other in several weeks and Jeremy's friend Natalie and her kids came along too, and immediately all of them played together like they were the best of longlost friends.


There was some movie watching in our bedroom



And some searching on a map for ghosts...



Some time spent playing on the I-Pad



And some celebrating when the lost treasure ( a piece of strofoam from the recycle bin) was found!



And some dancing, just because.




And after all that playing, there was still some time to swim.



It was a fun night!

Until next time,
Angie

San Diego Part II

On our whirlwind weekend trip to San Diego last weekend we spent the second day of our trip at the world famous San Diego Zoo.    Jarrett has been begging me for years to include that in the plans for a trip to SD.  Turns out MaeLyn and Aaron wanted to attend too, so zoo bound we were.

Thanks to Tim, the greatest employee at the San Diego Zoo, he told us about a special pass MaeLyn could get to be Aaron's attendant. In reality it means MaeLyn gets in free and is suppose to help Aaron up and down the continuous hills the zoo is built upon. Although we were super excited about Tim's tip, we quickly learned why they give attendants a free pass.

After getting inside the zoo, our friend Tim appeared again and gave us more tips about how to make the most of our day at the zoo. He said, start off on the 30 minute buss tour around the zoo (yes that is how big the zoo is) so you can get a great overview and then you can pick and see what exhibits you'd like to come back too. Tim's suggestion was great and everyone, except Isabelle, loved the bus ride. Isabelle, overwhelmed by too much stimulation, gave mom a hard time being on the bus. At one point I thought the bus tour had to be about 1.5 hours instead of just 30 minutes.

 After getting off the bus we decided to take the sky tram across the zoo to the back of the park so we could see the polar bears, the tigers and the elephants. The sky tram, kind of like a sky lift, carries you up and over the entire zoo. I'm not sure exactly how high the tram is, but it was at least 150 feet off the ground and I'm pretty sure if the cart broke, you could fall right down into the lion exhibit, but I guess by that point, one might as well be a lion meal anyway. 

 It was also the first time Aaron had been high above the ground with the wind blowing through his hair since his accident 2 years ago. The ride operators were wonderful giving us extra time to get loaded up and helping to make sure Aaron was all situated before the ride started up again. I was proud to see him try something new again, even though it required extra work and would have almost been easier to just take the bus to the other side of the park. We all enjoyed the ride, even if it took us over the lions' den.

After enjoying our sky tour, we headed straight for the polar bears which include a downhill grade of about 45 degrees. We all knew going back up the hill was going to be fun. It turns out we happen to catch the polar bears enjoying an afternoon snack. 

 Afterward Jarrett got to stretch his legs and help Aaron back up the hill.  Being typical men they had to strut their stuff racing up the hill, while MaeLyn, the kids and I huffed and puffed to get back to the top.  Of course when we finally got there, Jarrett and Aaron acted like they had been waiting there all day for us to arrive. 

Throughout the morning and afternoon we saw up close the lion, lioness, the elephants, the baby cheetahs, the bears and the monkeys and many more.  It turns out we happened to come upon many of the animals because we were lost and merely just walking around.  As we went through the exhibit with the chimpanzees and monkeys, Gabriel had the scare of a lifetime.  As most kids, or I guess I should say my kids, go, there's only one way to view an exhibit... and that is face-pressed up against the glass and talking to the animals. What Gabriel didn't know what that moments before face planting the glass of the exhibit, the monkey had been digging in the dirt looking for nuts and seeds.  When Gabriel decided to say hi up close and personal the monkey, assumed Gabriel was trying to take his food and flew at the glass in attack mode spiting on the glass and flashing his flared teeth right at Gabriel.  It made Gabriel jump back, scream and grab his heart... moments later, still shocked he said, "Mom, I think that monkey was trying to give me a heart attack."

As we ended the day at the zoo, we decided to head to Coronado Beach and to Hotel Del Coronado. 

The beach is truly amazing and the hotel gorgeous.  Immediately upon seeing the sand the boys were called to it, like bees to honey.

 Instantly they were out at the edge of the beach begging to walk in the water. Sending Jarrett and MaeLyn out to watch over them I gave everyone involved strict orders to not let the boys go in any farther than their ankles, for I hadn't brought their swimming suits, it was only 65 degrees

  Even with those orders, I knew full well the boys would come back soaked. And just as I believed, it happened. Michael our stumbly boy of the crew, ended up falling face first into the ocean and getting soaked from head to toe. It was only moments later Gabriel ended up joining him in getting soaked, for what's one more water-logged and sand covered kid in our car. 

In addition to the beautiful beach, which we happened to arrive at just as the sun was setting, we also wittnessed a wedding along the beach, which made my sister MaeLyn day-dream.

And to our surprise, as the boys were wading in the ocean, Aaron and I noticed shark-like fins sticking out of the water. At about the same time we said "Look at that" and then made a comment about hoping it was dolphins and not sharks.

  Turns out after calling MaeLyn to confirm, our hopes were confirmed, it was indeed a pair of dolphins playing just off the shore.  They swam back and forth flopping in the air and splashing water on each other.  It was fun to watch and something I had never seen, in it natural habitat.

As we wrapped up our vacation to California, it was a great trip and one we'll remember for a while.  Although quick, less than 36 hours to be exact, we had a lot of fun, covered a lot of ground and all came home tired.

Until next time,
Angie

PS:  If you are wondering why the title of this post is San Diego part II, it is because this was the recap from the second part of our trip.  The sad part is, I still haven't written the first... stay tuned though, I'll try to get it done soon!

Gardettos… bring your family together.

We have the makings of a true commercial. I witnessed it just a few weekends ago and its all thanks to Gardettos.

The last week in May was my cousin Alicia’s high school graduation. She had a very nice party with lots of tasty food. On the tables there were snack bowls and as the night progressed I watched as my 5-year-old Michael and my 87-year-old Grandfather bonded over the snacks.

Sitting together at the table , there were many discussions going on around them.  Perhaps, however, the most important conversation taking place was between these two...

Do you like this kind Grandpa Ray?

It seems like they had quite a few discussions about what each snack item within that bowl of Gardettos was and how it tasted. Each of them picked through the bowl, studied each piece before giving it a taste test and a thorough review. It was fun to watch as they interacted and engaged as if they were the best of friends.

Who would have thought? How can it be? A simple bowl of Gardetto snacks can bring together the young and the young at heart.

Michael shoving as many Gardettos into his mouth as possible.

I think I should contact General Mills to see if they need a spokes person for their tasty snack.

Grandpa Ray, Michael and my cousin Jessica all enjoying the snack!

Until next time,
Angie

Case workers...

Last night when I got home from work Gabriel asked me how my day at work was. I said it was fine and continued trying to figure out what to make for dinner. He then continued on, “Mom, are you sad?” I responded, “No, Gabriel why?” He said, “Mom, remember that one day at work, you came home sad because some of your work friends were making fun of you?” Thinking back to myself and racking my brain trying to figure out what he was talking about, I remembered an extremely stressful day of work last fall, where I came home, overwhelmed and stressed. Although my work friends weren’t making fun of me, it was a very stressful day, and when I get really stressed, I have been known to cry out of frustration. Thinking that must be what he was talking about I said, “Oh yeah Gabriel, I remember.” He then continued, “Mom, do all of your case workers make you cry?”

I smiled, looked at him and said, “No honey they don’t” and thought to myself, what an interesting and unique story my children will have to tell someday. When, I believe, most six-year old boys are thinking about baseball, toys and playing outside, my boy wonders about the day his mom had at work and if her case workers (aka co-workers) were nice to his mom. I also wonder if most six-year olds even know the words “case workers”. Although it makes me sad that my boys have had to learn all about the life of case workers, home visits and court dates, someday, when they are old enough and mature enough to handle all that their past brings, I hope they are proud because they’ll have a great story to tell.

Until next time,

Angie

Baby kisses...

There are so may things I love about my children and their kisses.  The special times when the boys surprise me out of the blue, walk over to me, kiss me on the cheek and tell me they love me.  Even after we've had a rough day of me reminding them over and over again to listen to what I say and to make good choices.  Even after we've had our rounds of arguments and many a "time outs".When they come and share their unconditional love with me and kiss me, my heart melts.

And although I will forever cherish the kisses the boys give me, there is something special and unique, a feeling that in really indescribable, when I'm the lucky recipient of Isabelle's kisses.

There are so many things I've dreamed about with having a baby and for a while I worried though that I'd never get to experience the joys, pure highlights and love that comes with having a baby.  It is probably for that reason that I cherish every moment with our little Isabelle and the feeling I get when my baby kisses me. 

Yes, I did write that correctly.  When my baby kisses me.  Lord knows that Isabelle's cheeks almost become chapped with the number of kisses she gets each day from us.  This time I'm talking about the way she kisses us.  Just a few minutes ago she did it, I picked her up, put her up on my shoulder and carried her to her room for a blanket.  As I patted her on the back she turned her face to me, opened her mouth as wide as she can and face-planted right in to my cheek.

The beautiful wide mouth kiss. The one that leaves slobber or saliva drenched across your face.  Isn't it wonderful?  So the boys don't think it is the most pleasant kiss around, but to me it is magical. 

It all goes back to thinking I'd never get to experience it.  Experience it for myself.  There are so many times throughout the day I look at Isabelle and give thanks to her mother for bringing her into the world and making the most self-less decision and to God for bringing her to us.  As I look at her, our boys and my husband, I think, how did I become so lucky? 

I look forward to many more slobber kisses to come.  And with each one, I'll cherish it more than the last.

Until next time,
Angie

Fathers Day...

For the past two years Father's Day has been special around our house.  This year it was made even extra special.  With two great boys, Daddy now has a little girl and wrapped around his finger she is...

Until next time,
Angie