So it is the middle of the night...

And I can't sleep. I'm not sure if it is because I've finally hit the point where I'm so over tired that my body won't relax enough to sleep or if it is because I have so much love in my heart that it is overflowing with emotion that keeps me awake. In all honesty, it is probably a little bit of both of these reasons. Here are a few of the things that run through my mind at 3:24 a.m....

*I forgot to cut up some deli ham to leave for Jack (our very spoiled 4lb Yorkie) with our friend who agreed to dog/house sit while we left on vacation.

*I forgot to plug in the video camera so that we can record tomorrow's adventures.

*Where in the world did I put that Go Fish music CD that the boys were given at Vacation Bible School? At this point, I know where the CD is NOT at, but where I put it, I have no idea.

* Did I remember to give the boys all of their medicine, brush their teeth and comb their hair (this thought occurs it seems every hour and the answer every time is yes)?

* I hope Jack is okay and that he is behaving/sleeping right now for our friend? He is so spoiled; if it isn't Gabriel and Michael were attending to, it is our puppy and somehow he has me wondering about him as I'm 1700 miles away.

* Why did I not think to bring a pair of sandals or old shoes for the boys to wear? After growing up in Iowa and spending 23 years of my life living here, you think I'd remember that Iowa has a lot of soil and rain and together those things make mud. Someone just told me that mud and little boys are magnets. We've learned that in the first 24 hours of being in Iowa. Maybe Gabriel and Michael were in on helping me forget to bring their old shoes, they seemed to benefit as they are now each sporting a brand new pair of Buz Lightyear light-up sneakers. Thanks Grandma and Grandpa.

Those are just a few of the quick thoughts that race through that head of mine at 3:00 a.m.. But tonight, it isn't those off-the-top-of-my-head thoughts that keep me staring at the ceiling counting the number of times the fan blades circle in one minute. It is those other thoughts, the thoughts that make me question, wonder and give thanks for all that I have, and all that I've been given.

Do the boys know that I love them? I mean really love them. I've found that in order to get done all of the tasks, chores and duties that have to be accomplished in a day, my time for silliness and children's play is limited. Granted, we sill have lots and lots of play time, laughs and silliness together but sometimes, I wonder if they only see me as the person who makes them take a bath, brush their teeth, clean their plate, wash their hands... well, you get the point. Do they see me as the rule enforcer who always tells them they need to be quiet when we go here or there? And no, for the twentieth time, you cannot have that piece of candy. Am I too strict, am I not strict enough? I tell them I love them, I show them by giving hugs and kisses. I play with them and tell them how proud I am to be their mom. I give them praise when they make good choices, but do they really know how much they mean to me/us? And since I didn't give birth to them and carry them inside of me for 9 months, do I have to do even more to show them how much they are loved and cared for. No one told me that along with becoming a parent, I'd have to question every move and decision I make.

I wonder what exciting thing will happen tomorrow that will make me fall in love with each one of them over and over. Today, it was Gabriel being the sweet and wonderful little boy that he is and listening to me right away as I asked him to get off of his brand-new, shiny, red bike Grandma and Grandpa got him to go inside and wash his hands. I know that doesn't sound like that monumental or exciting of an event, but if only you could have been there to see it. We went to Grandpa Ray's house this afternoon to take the boys fishing for the very first time. As you can imagine there were so many things for the boys to touch. I'm sure we hit a new record with the number of germs on each of their little hands. So, before leaving to go to dinner I had to ask them to stop playing to go inside and clean up. Gabriel was thoroughly enjoying the wide-open spaces of the Iowa countryside and riding his bike up and down the long lane at Grandpa Ray's house. He was riding with pride as he showed off how quickly he can peddle, how to turn a corner with only one hand on the handlebars and how to look so studly in his bike helmet and shiny red bike. He was beaming with happiness. Now me, the crusher of all things fun, had to ask him "Please stop all the fun you are having. Get off of that shiny new bike and go inside and wash your hands with hot water and lots of soap. Please make sure you scrub extra hard to get the fishy-smell and worm guts off okay Gabriel?" Expecting a quick and firm "Not yet mom" I was surprised to see him pull right up in front of me, look at me with his beautiful green and blue eyes and say, "Okay mom." Then, he pulled his bike right over to Grandpa's fence, parked it proudly, climbed off, slid his helmet off and carefully placed it on the handlebar of his prized possession. Then he walked straight inside to do what I asked. It was just as simple as that. What a wonderful little boy.

And then there is Michael, who today and it seems everyday, amazes me with his funny, class-clown personality. One of today's highlights was going fishing with Michael. I've always thought the point of going fishing is to catch fish. I've learned that for Michael, it isn't about the fish, it is about the worms. From the moment Michael saw the bait box he was all about it. He had to carry it down the hill to the pond, even though it was way too heavy for him and he almost dumped the worms out as he walked down the hill. Then, as Grandpa Chip opened the box and pulled out the slimy and wiggly snake-like creatures, Michael realized he found his entertainment for the afternoon. As the rest of us baited our poles and went to the dock to cast, Michael was perfectly fine holding, caressing and watching his little pet worms do everything in their power to try and escape his presence. Poor worms. I not sure if worms have a brain to form thoughts as people, but I'm pretty sure those worms were thinking they'd rather jump on the next hook that came their way, than spend 2 more minutes with our 3-year old little boy. So, even though it was a tough day to be a worm, our little Michael was in Heaven.

And finally, after those memories are relived over and over in my mind, the largest and most prevalent thought that keeps me awake tonight is the following...

How did I get so lucky? Do I deserve this amazing life? I have an amazing husband who I've been blessed to have shared pretty much my entire life with. He is so understanding and accommodating of my craziness, that he allows me to keep him awake as I type this post just 3 feet from his head. Even after getting just 2 hours of sleep the night before, because he was trying to fulfill my wishes and leave the house extra clean for our friend, Jack's dog sitter, he is letting me keep him awake now too. And then, on top of having a wonderful partner to spend my life with, God had blessed us with these two little boys. I feel like I have won the biggest lottery in all of history. All of those years I spent dreaming of becoming a mom and picturing what our perfect children would look like, and what their personalities be; I had no idea that my dreams in no way prepared me for how even more amazing, wonderful, and perfect Gabriel and Michael are.

Thank you God for giving me so many blessings. For the perfect partner who just gets me, for the two perfect Angels you sent to be my sons, for our loving family and friends who have been so generous in sharing their love and excitement with us as we start this journey as a family, for our health and for all that you have planned for me when I "wake up" and begin a new day in just a few minutes.

Until next time,
Angie

We LOVE Iowa!

I have been a little busy the last few days and mainly because I've been trying to get ready to take the boys back home. We have planned a trip back to introduce the boys all of the wonderful family and friends we have back home and to show them all that Iowa offers.

The boys have been very excited about the idea of going to Iowa. I think they picture our home state to be like a massive Disneyland with all sorts of wonder and awe to be explored. Over the next few days, I'll be blogging from the heartland. We can't wait to show the boys where Jarrett and I grew up! It will be a wonderful thing to share. Here's a recap of our first two days..

This morning I am sitting here in warm and humid Iowa blogging with my two little boys. When I asked them what story we should write about this morning they said, "Mom, tell them WE LOVE IOWA!" So I guess that is what we are writing about today.

We arrive here or what I will always call home on Saturday and since then, we've been staying very busy showing them all that Iowa has to offer. The first thing Gabriel noticed was all of the grass. As the plane was landing Gabriel looked out his window and said "Mom, look at all of the grass places where we can play. We can play ball everywhere." See, back home we don't have grass and we only have one secret place in between two streets that has grass and that is where we go to play ball. It kind of makes me sad to think we can't offer the boys the huge, wide-open back yard to run and play in. As a child, running and playing all sorts of made up games in our back-yard were some of my favorite things. Now, the boys are experiencing the same thing I did and boy do they enjoy the wide open spaces.

We've been able to introduce them to many family and friends and we've been keeping a very busy schedule. When we left on Saturday, we had to wake the boys up at 4:30 a.m. and they haven't been able to get nearly the same amount of sleep they normally do. And the whole idea of keeping them on a schedule was thrown out the window as soon as the plane landed. I kind of feel like I'm holding a ticking bomb waiting for them to have a melt-down from being over tired, but just like they do everyday, they continue to amaze me with how wonderful they are. Both of them have been in such great moods as we introduce them to this new relative, this friend of Mommy's, this new thing and that new sight.

We've done so much in two short days. We've gone to Chuckie Cheese or as Uncle Adam calls it the Big Rat's playhouse. We've gone to a cousin's wedding reception, we've gone to Church, a family reunion, a BBQ at Grandma Dorie's house, and we went to see Toy Story 3. Let's just say when it is finally time for bed at night, it only takes the boys about 2 minutes to be sound-asleep.

This morning we are off to the farm. The boys have never seen a farm or the animals one would find on a farm, so this will be a new experience for them. I'm trying to tell them that the farm is kind of dirty and they should watch where they step so they don't step in poo. I think Gabriel gets it but I am very confident that Michael will inevitably either fall into or somehow get some animal droppings on his shoes or God forbid elsewhere. I've come to the conclusion that these milestones, or accomplishments for Michael, are all a part of being a little boy.

We'll keep you posted, but for now, were off to have some more fun!

Angie

His story breaks my heart.

Gabriel and Michael have been asking me a lot lately about when Daddy and I got married. What was it like mom? Did you get married in our house? Who was at your wedding? Tonight, over dinner, the topic came up again and I asked him if he'd like to see a video from when Daddy and I got married. He was so excited he could hardly eat his dinner fast enough.

After dinner I went and got the video I had had made for Jarrett before we were married and gave to him on the night of our wedding rehearsal. It was a video of each of our own lives with our families as well as our dating life together. Since we have been dating since we were 15 and 16 years old, there were a lot of pictures and it was nice because we were able to show the boys photos of many of our family members they haven't met yet. In the many photos that were included, there was one picture of Jarrett sitting with Santa Claus and one photo with me sitting on Santa's lap. I had no idea but those pictures spurred a memory for Gabriel which resulted in a story I'll never forget.

Since we've had the boys in our lives, we learned that there are certain things that create flashbacks or memories for them, of their lives before coming to us. Most of the memories they share are from their time with their foster family and they all seem to be happy memories. Tonight, Gabriel shared a story of his life with his birth mom and hearing him share it makes my heart break but also fills it even more with love for our sweet, wise and mature little boy.

After seeing the pictures of Jarrett and I sitting with Santa, Gabriel said, "Mom and Dad, one time, (insert birth mother's name) took me to see Santa Claus." Upon hearing him mention the name of his birth mom, we were both interested and I asked,
"Oh yea Gabriel, did you tell him what you wanted for Christmas?"
"Yea, I asked him if he had any Batman's or Superman's."
"What did Santa say honey?"
"Mom, he said he had lots of them." in a very excited voice
Wow Gabriel, so, did you get some Batman and Superman's for Christmas then?"
"No Mom"
"Oh" a little surprised and confused I asked, " What did you get then honey?"
"I got a tiny little reindeer."

As he shared with us that he got a tiny reindeer for Christmas, I immediately thought of my childhood and how lucky and blessed I was and never realized it. Gabriel went on to say that that was all he was given in his past Christmas's with his birth mom. When he said, "I got a tiny reindeer." it was obvious he didn't feel sad or mad for only getting that, but instead, he said it with pride that he had received a tiny reindeer for Christmas. When I think of my childhood and of my past Christmas's I can't even list off all of the gifts I received each year, let alone in my whole life. Yet, for our baby, him getting a tiny reindeer was such a big gift, that he still cherishes it to this day.

My heart breaks that Gabriel hasn't experienced a Christmas like I have, yet to him I'm sure Christmas is just as magical and as special as it is to the rest of us. Although we don't know many details of the boys' past, I have to remind myself that they have not had the same childhood as myself and those around me. After hearing his story I want to go out and by everything Gabriel has ever wanted in the past 4 years of his life, yet, his story alone reminds me that these little boys don't need to be showered with gifts, the gift that they need the most is our love.

Gabriel, I can't wait to make your first Christmas with us special. Daddy and I will do everything in our power to make sure Santa Claus brings you at least a few items off of your wish list. But most of all honey, we'll make sure this year, you feel love like you never have before.

Until next time,
Angie

Those guys are naughty!

This morning as we poured the boys a bowl of cereal we had the Today show on, as I like to have 5 minutes in the morning to at least get an idea of what is happening in the world, outside the walls of our home.

This morning on the TV, they just happened to be showing Day 68 (or what ever day we are on) of the massive oil spill in the gulf of Mexico. They were broadcasting live from the actual area where the platform exploded and where the well is dumping thousands of gallons of crude oil into the beautiful, life-filled ocean. The screen flashed pictures of birds covered in oil that are so crippled by what has happened, that they are basically wasting away, unable to fly to search for food or to carry on about their normal life. Meanwhile, they showed pictures of one of BP's top executives over the weekend, enjoying a wonderful sailboat ride is some non-BP destroyed section of the globe. I guess my distaste and sadness for what is happening in the gulf was evident, as the boys turned to watch the images on the TV and then my face for a reaction. All at once Gabriel said, Mom, "What happened?" I explained that some big and powerful people had a big boat in the ocean that exploded and it is now dumping a lot of oil into the ocean. Then Gabriel asked, "Why Mom, isn't it hurting all of the fish and the birds?" Yes honey, it is hurting many fish and whales, and sharks and birds. Actually boys, it is hurting a lot of animals and people too. After a few moments of the boys soaking in what I had just told them, Gabriel looked at me and said, "Mom, those people are bad and they should go to timeout for a long, long, long, long time." And at which point Michael chimed in, "Those guys are NAUGHTY!"

Yes Gabriel and Michael you are right. Those people should go to time out and think about their naughty actions. Accidents do happen and I'm sure the folks at BP wouldn't have wanted this to happen. However, it is truly sad all of the destruction and devastation that is happening to the ocean and to the land that the oil reaches. I pray that tomorrow when we turn on the TV, the well has been fixed and the leak sealed shut. Not only for the sake of all of the marine-life, animals and people for whom this leak has so greatly affected, but also for the all of the little 3 and 4 year-olds out there who haven't yet visited an ocean. For I hope that when they do they will not see a smeary, oil-lined coastline, or the thousands of dead marine life drifting to shore, but instead, I pray that they can see the beauty, life and wonder that the vast and clean ocean should be.

Angie

It seemed like a good idea at the time...

Gabriel has a t-shirt that reads, "It seemed like a good idea at the time" and tonight Michael demonstrated just how applicable that shirt really is for little boys. Warning: This post contains gross and yucky details.

In the last day we've noticed that Michael seems to either be coming down with a cold or is experiencing allergies, as he has had a runny nose and is sneezing a lot. He is pretty good about letting me help him blow or wipe his nose for him but he doesn't seem to be too proactive in taking on the nose blowing/wiping himself.

Tonight, as I was trying to fold clothes and iron Jarrett's work shirts, I was watching the boys play like typical boys in the front room on the carpet. Gabriel was lying on his back while Michael sat on top of him and they were laughing hysterically about something. All I heard was "Don't try to marry me? I don't want to marry you!" coming from Gabriel's mouth. To get a better understanding of what was exactly going on, I nonchalantly stopped what I was doing and tuned in to witness the following...

Before I go into that, a little back ground information is important. On the day we went to pick up the boys to bring them with us to their forever home, I took with us two scrapbooks I had made for perspective birth families and case workers, in our quest to adopt. The books are filled with pictures from our past, pictures of our families, things we like to do together, and our wedding photos. Basically these books are the story of us. When we showed the boys the books they were completely enthralled with them asking about each photo. When it came to the pages about our wedding and specifically the photo of Jarrett and I kissing, the boys asked, "Oh Mom, that is when you and daddy got married right?" We answered yes, and ever since that day, when the boys see two people kissing they automatically assume, that that means they are married. (When the boys are 16 and 17 years old, and wanting to date girls, I'm going to remind them of this little rule about kissing).

So, anyway back to the two boys on the floor. With Gabriel, the older brother, on the floor telling Michael, who is sitting on his chest, that he doesn't want to marry him, I realize that the reason why he is sitting so close to his head is that Michael is trying to kiss Gabriel. Now usually the boys will be affectionate and hug or kiss each other on the cheek regularly. As I crept closer to see why Gabriel was so insistent on fighting Michael's kiss, I noticed Michael had something strange right in the middle of his forehead. Deciding it was time for mom to intervene, I walked even closer and said, "Michael what do you have on your head?"

With a plain-as-day response Michael stated, "Boogers Mom" I guess my ingrained girly response immediately kicked in and I shouted, "Gross" at which point Michael decided to show me exactly how and why boogers ended up on his forehead.

We all know which way gravity pulls things and I guess Michael thought that he'd show gravity who is boss. So with the palm of his hand his grasped the lovely mucus running out of his nose, and with a gentle swoop, he simply swiped the snot and pushed everything straight up his face, until he found a good resting stop right at the top of his forehead. I can just hear his brain telling his hand, this is a good solution to your sticky problem. Again, I'm sure in his head it seemed like a good idea at the time but somewhere things took a very wrong turn.

Then, seeing Gabriel's grossed out response, Michael realized he had ammunition to play with his big brother. As he sat on Gabriel's chest, fighting to give him a kiss, it became clear to me that Michael wasn't trying to give his love, and show is affection with his brother, but instead, he was trying to pass his forehead display onto his brother's face. Isn't that nice?

After putting together the pieces, I can assure you that the game of "getting married" was quickly ended. As a little girl, there were many times that I played "Wedding day and getting married" but in my entire youth, actually my entire life, I've never played that game the way my two little boys played tonight. I don't think we'll be playing that game ever again.

Although, as I think about it tonight, for a three year old, I do have to give him credit. Not wanting to take the time to stop playing to mess with some silly nose, and knowing that he had better not put his deposits on any furniture or carpet, I guess he did what seemed to make the most sense at the time.

Oh the stories we'll get to tell about them when they are older and easily embarrased.

Until the next time,
Angie

"Mom, Jesus gave me money!"

The boys are attending Vacation Bible School this week. On Sunday night as we tucked them into bed, we told them that they are finally ready to go to school and that tomorrow morning we would be able to take them to Vacation Bible School. Gabriel was so excited he hardly went to sleep, and Michael, just like he always does, went with the flow as long as Gabriel was okay with it. Even though the boys are willing and excited about the school idea, I still woke up on Monday morning with a bunch of nerves making a nest in my stomach.

As we arrived at the church and got them checked in, the time had finally come for them to leave my hands and go into the hands of a VBS school staffer. I was nervous and almost teary-eyed to see them go without me, but I put on a strong front and said "Have fun boys and make sure to listen to your teacher". They were only going to be there for 3 hours, I should be able to make it at least three hours without Jarrett or I being by their side. With every step Gabriel and Michael bounced with a strut down the hall to their classroom, and just before they walked in, they turned back and yelled with a wave and a smile, "Bye Mom!" Everyone else dropping off their kids laughed because they yelled loud enough for everyone in the whole place to hear.

Thankfully, their cousin Alicia is their Bible school teacher and they are in the same class. When I think of two close brothers, I now have a vision of Gabriel and Michael. For so long they were each other's sole protectors and only cheerleaders. They have come to rely upon each other for safety and security it is hard to imagine one without the other being right in tow. So, for their first experience in school, we thought it would be best to put them together.

On Monday late-morning when I picked them up, each of them came running out to greet me and said, "Mom, I like school, can you bring me back after lunch?" Well, honey I can't bring you back after lunch but I can tomorrow morning. Gabriel then retorted back, "No mom, my teacher said I could come back after lunch and have more fun." I guess he didn't realize I know his teacher is and we talked before they did. Nice try Gabriel, I like the excitement though honey.

On Tuesday when they woke up Gabriel's first question was, "Mom, lets go to school now" Honey, we should probably eat breakfast, take a bath and change from our pajamas before taking you to school. Thankfully he agreed, but couldn't wait to get out the door. On Tuesday when I picked them up they were just as talkative and excited about all that they were learning. When I asked them what they do at school Gabriel replied, "Mom, we learn a lot about Gog'd" (aka God) as if I should have already known the answer to my silly question.

Yesterday, when I got them up and ready for school I asked them to sit on the couch and read some books while I quickly showered and got dressed. After what has become my 5 minute getting ready routine, I checked on them to see to make sure they were okay. I peered around the corner to see that they had gone and picked up their Bibles, which were sitting by the front door and were both sitting on the couch, completely engaged in the stories inside. When I asked what they were doing they said, "Mom, we are reading about Gogd. You mean God right Gabriel? "Yes Mom, that is what I said."

And what has to be one of my favorite memories from this week's Bible School happened yesterday late morning when I picked them up. Gabriel and Michael had been given small prayer coins with a Bible verse and a pray on each side. Their teachers must have told them they shouldn't lose them and that they were about Jesus. Arriving right on time, and not my normal 5 minutes early to get them, the lobby of the school was filled with other parents. The greeter at the front saw me and went back to get Gabriel and Michael. Just like the two days before, the boys came cheerfully out of their classroom, but this time, instead of walking, they sprinted down the hall while shrieking at the top of their lungs, "MOM, GUESS WHAT?" "Hi Gabriel and Michael" I said in a quieter, calmer tone. No change in volume or excitement on their end, "MOM, JESUS GAVE ME MONEY!" and immediately punched their arm out toward me to show me their precious coins. By that point everyone in the lobby, and probably everyone else in the school had joined in a chorus of laughs. I have to admit, it was pretty funny and I couldn't resist joining in on their excitement. They went on to tell me (and everyone else on our way to the car) that Jesus gave them money because he loves them. I just love how little minds work.

This week has been a very exciting time for the boys as they went to their first school. I will forever remember the excitement on their faces as I pick them up each day and how excited they are each night as they say their prayers and talk about going to school tomorrow. Tonight, we will get to go and watch their Vacation Bible School performance. I haven't decided yet if they are going to be shy and refuse to sing or if they'll be those kids in children's performances you see on America's Funniest Home videos, that shout the words to the song and make the whole event about them. We'll see, but one thing is for sure, either way, they'll have more than just each other cheering them on as they take the stage.

Until next time,
Angie

To Infinion and Beyond...

To my boys...
You guys are into Toy Story. With Toy Story 3 coming soon to a theater near all of us, Buz Lighyear, Woody, Jessie and the rest of the gang seem to be all around. When you moved in with us, one of the first movies we watched as a family was Toy Story. Daddy and I had never really watched the whole movie but now we are just as addicted to it as you are.

We have Toy Story 3 fruit snacks, Toy Story pajamas (well Mom and Dad don't but you do), Toy Story coloring books, figurines; we even have Toy Story 3 cereal that you want for breakfast, lunch and dinner. With all of this Toy Story business around our house you can imagine there are a few lines from the movies that you like to repeat over and over. Just one of those lines is the infamous Buz Lightyear line of "To Infinity and Beyond" What is so cute, at least to me, is that you Gabriel think the line is, "To Infinion and Beyond" And Michael, after you heard Gabriel say it a few times, you follow right in line and repeat it just the same... "To Infinion and Beyond" I'll have to get you on tape but for tonight if I were to describe you saying it, it would go something like this...

You both bend over at the waist, bend your knees and with a deep breath ,you wind up your voices and shout from the bottom of your bellies... "TOOOOO INFINIONNNNN AND BEEEEEYOND!!!!" To conclude the quote you jump in the air as high as you can just like you are an astronaut being shot into space, or in this case Buz Lightyear taking off.

We are looking forward to the release of Toy Story 3 not just because we are hoping to see it in the theater (for our first trip) but also because you get to go see it with your family back in Iowa. Megan, your aunt, mommy's sister said she would like to take you to see it and you have not forgotten her comment. You frequently ask, "Is today the day we go to Iowa so I can see Megan and Toy Story 3?" Only a few more days boys. And then you proceed to tell me all the names of your family back in Iowa. Megan... and MaeLyn,... and Grandpa... and Grandma... and Uncle Jonas... and (then you ask) who else mom? After I rattle off a list of many many more people you say, "Yea Mom and them too!"

You boys make me laugh and smile. Everyday there is something new that you say or do and it reminds me just how thankful I should be and how truly blessed I am. Whether you are screaming at the top of your lungs, "To Infinion and Beyond" or you wanting to put on my makeup so you can be like me (yet another post), or you coming to me with a sad pouty face and a quivering lower lip, "Mom, I broke fill in the blank and I promise I won't break it again, these are the moments I've been patiently waiting for. I think children truly understand what life is all about and both of you seem to live for each moment and have fun doing it! Thank you Gabriel and Michael for teaching me so many lessons, I think I learn more from you than you learn from me. Just remember when you are too cool to tell your mom you love her, just remember I'll always love you to infinity and beyond.

Good night my angels,
Mom

When I get older...

One of those sayings that I never used before May 8, 2010 was, "When you get older" Now I seem to say it at least 15 times a day.

Gabriel, when you get older you can drive the car or Michael when you get older you can use a sharp knife. When you get older you can go to school, write with a permanent marker, wash the clothes, touch the water heater, go to work, ride a motorcycle, go to the park by yourself... and the list goes on and on and on.

I think the boys are starting to get the message because in the past few days they seem to anticipate what my response to their question is going to be and instead say, "Mom, when I get older... (fill in the blank).

Yesterday, however, I had to laugh because as we were getting changed to go swimming Gabriel caught me off guard with the last part of his "when I get older" statement. I was helping the boys change out of their clothes and into their swimming suit and I said, Okay boys, now that you are changed, mom is going to go change so you need to wait right here. Then, as if he was delivering a very important speech, Gabriel got all excited and said "When I get older I will help you change okay mom?"

At first, I wasn't sure how to respond, but then I thought about it a little bit more and realized, with the circle of life we seem to go through, he might actually be predicting the future. And that got me thinking, what will our lives be like when Gabriel and Michael are older and Jarrett and I are "really old"? I pray that these little boys grow into big, strong, healthy and confident men who are caring, generous and hard-working. I pray that they always keep their sensitivity and wear their feelings on their sleeves (just as they do today). I hope that they always want to give their mom and dad a hug and kiss and that they are proud that we are their family. And I do hope that when We are as old as the dirt, that they want to be there to help us. Whether it be helping us get around to do our normal errands, sitting around talking about the good old days, or helping me change my clothes, I know that when I get older, they'll be just like they are today, two of the greatest gifts God has ever given me.

Good night,
Angie

A Family's First Trip Photos!

The cost of two little boys showing their love and affection with their dad who has just completed a 100 mile bike ride...Priceless!

A beautiful view of Lake Tahoe


And another...

Gabriel, Michael and Mommy on the snow pile, Nana and Papa found for us.

A proud Mom and Dad with their son Jarrett.

Michael showing off the huge pine cones we found on one of our hikes

Gabriel modeling a Team in Training hat at the Inspiration Dinner. Papa is in the background.

Michael (Left) and Gabriel (Right) on the morning of our trip. Can you tell how excited they were?

Nana and Papa with the boys!



Daddy, the day before the race on a practice ride.

I promise, he wasn't doing what you are thinking, he was just about to point to something on the page...

A view as we started our bus ride to Lake Tahoe

Go Daddy Go!!!!!!

We went to the mountains and Daddy conquered them! This past weekend we ventured on our first family vacation to Lake Tahoe and what a wonderful trip it was. We had been telling the boys for the past several days that they were going to get to go on an airplane and then watch Daddy ride his bike up and down the mountains. There were so many highlights of the trip I'm afraid to say it but, here is your warning, this is going to be a long post.

Last week I spent a great deal of time trying to get organized to get ready to go. I have to admit that I was stressing a bit about taking Gabriel and Michael (aka: Two full-of-energy boys who don't sit still for one minute) on an airplane where they'd have to sit for almost 2 hours without screaming at the top of their lungs and restrain themselves from touching buttons. The obsession with touching buttons is a whole different post so back to the vacation. I checked the Lake Tahoe weather forecast daily and I think packed and repacked for them at least 4 times. I got Daddy's stuff together and helped the boys practice their cheer for the big day. Thanks to my friends Janelle and Tara for the tips on entertaining kids on an airplane, they really helped!

As Friday came, we were all excited about taking our first trip, that was until we realized how much crap, oops, I mean stuff, we had to take with us. As Jarrett and I looked at the pile of 4 suitcases, 1 toiletry bag, a bag of entrainment items for the boys, a camera/video camera bag, a suitcase of biking equipment, 2 car seats and final bag of misc items, waiting to be carried by two people, we both decided we needed to make some adjustments. So I guess that means we probably packed and unpacked, reshuffled things around 5 or 6 times. We ended up condensing down to 7 items. When it was just Jarrett and I traveling as a couple I had no idea how easy it was.

When we arrived at the airport and got checked in, it was wonderful to see the boy's eyes light up as they looked up close and center with a monster sized jet. Michael screamed, "Mommy it's a airpane!" (not airplane, airpane) Gabriel said, "Ooooh, wow, Dad are we going on that?" I had told the boys that if they were good, quiet and sat still on the airplane that the nice pilots or flight attendants would give them a pair of wings that means they can fly at anytime. My story seemed to work because from the moment we stepped foot in the terminal the boys asked me about every 10 minutes, "Mom, I was good, can I get my wings now." We boarded the plane and just like perfect angels the boys hopped into their seat, grabbed the safety instruction pamphlet and studied it like a priest studies a Bible. Jarrett and I were convinced no one has ever read those pamphlets from cover to cover. We were proven wrong. Note to Southwest Airlines: Your safety instruction manuals are a hit with 3 and 4 year-olds.

As we taxied down the runway and started to take off the boys, I told them to hold on and that we were going to go really fast. It was cute to see them put a death-grip on the armrests and lean forward as if that was going to help the plane take flight. When we got into the air both of them cheered, "Yea!" It was wonderfully exciting to be able to experience their first airplane ride with them, in fact it was so exciting that when we landed all of us forgot to ask the flight attendants for their wings. It was a mistake I made that I would be gently reminded of all weekend.

We flew into Reno and then boarded a bus (or what Michael and Gabriel consider a school bus) for an hour and a half bus ride to Lake Tahoe. For anyone who hasn't visited Lake Tahoe, let me just say, you should definitely add that destination to your bucket list. It is the most beautiful place I've ever seen. The drive from Reno to Lake Tahoe was breathtaking with views of the deep-blue lake, snow-capped mountains and trees that seemed 300 feet tall. Absolutely beautiful. The boys watched in awe for the first 45 minutes before deciding to take in the rest of the views with their eyes closed.

When we arrived at our hotel and checked into our room we realized it backed right up to a snow-capped mountain and the view of the lake. There's a picture below that just doesn't do it justice. For most of the day on Friday we spent relaxing and talking with Jarrett's teammates from the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society. They truly are some of the most selfless and generous people I've ever met. One of Jarrett's teammate's, Jaime has completed this 100-mile bike ride for the past four years and has raised between$35,000 and $45,500 each time for cancer research. As a wife of a cancer survivor, I find it hard to put into words how much it means to us that people give so much to help others in this way.

On Saturday we were excited because Nana and Papa (Jarrett's parents) were joining us in Tahoe to watch Daddy on his big day. When Nana and Papa arrived we all went to the inspiration dinner where we learned that 1200 riders through the LLS Team in Training had raised more than 8 million dollars for cancer research. One rider shared the story of his son who was diagnosed with Leukemia at the age of 3 and has spent the last 2 years or 730 days straight taking harsh chemotherapy drugs and steroids in order to "beat the bad guys" as his son said. Thankfully he shared that his son was down to less than 2 weeks left of his treatment and was slowly getting better. With tears in my eyes I looked down at 3-year-old, little Michael who had curled up on my lap and fallen asleep. I remember thanking God for being so lucky and for giving me so many blessings.

Sunday morning (Race Day) came bright and early (actually 4:15 a.m.) as the race started at 6:30 and Daddy had to be out and ready by 6:00. The boys, what troupers they were, got up, and listened very well as we asked them to quickly change clothes and start cheering for the bikers and for daddy. Of all of the thousands of people there, I have to admit, I think the boys were one of the biggest hits for the riders. The boys loved to cheer and cheer loudly they did! I had told them to cheer for Daddy and together they came up with the cheer, "GO DADDY GO!" which they repeated over and over and over and over. With their high-pitched voices that seem to screech louder than almost everything else in that mountainous country, many riders joked with us that they could hear the boys for miles. In fact so many people said that, that it made me actually start to question exactly how far their voices echoed.

We were able to meet Daddy and almost everyone else on Team Arizona at the first stop which was about 30 miles into the 101 mile race. It was great to see Jarrett so strong and in his element. The boys were proud and yelled over and over, "Go Daddy Go" and once Daddy had gone by they start chanting, "Go Team!" or "Go Bikers."

As the race went on and we rode along with Nana and Papa in their car we commented over and over how challenging it must be to ride up and down these mountains. We were tired just driving the 100 miles. We were able to see Jarrett at 3 more stops including the lunch stop and he seemed to look so strong and not even winded. I remember seeing him just a short 2 1/2 years ago when he was going through chemotherapy and how he would be tired just from having to stay awake for more than 12 hours. It was a complete transformation to see him now so strong and healthy. Yet, another blessing I have been given.

Gabriel, Michael, Nana, Papa and I are so proud to share that we watched our Daddy, Husband and Son complete the 101.75 miles in just over 8 and a half hours. We couldn't be more proud of him!

As we returned home yesterday, we were sad to have to leave the mountains but we are so thankful for what great memories we got to take with us. Below are just final highlights and a few snap snots from our wonderful first family trip...

* Gabriel and Michael seemed to love pushing the buttons for the Eldigator (or elevator)

* Gabriel couldn't get enough of the mountain and begged over and over for us to take him to the mountains, even when we were at the top of them he said, "Can we go to the mountains?" When we said, "Gabriel, we are at the mountains, were at the top of them right now" he replied, "I told you we could go to the mountains." Then two minutes later he'd asked again, "Can we go to the mountains now?"

*Michael found a way to stick his head in between two metal bars that overlooked the atrium of our 7th floor hotel room. I'm not sure how he got his head through the bars but it wasn't easy or fun getting them out.

* Nana and Papa promised the boys they'd show them snow and make a snow ball for them. Looking at the mountains and how high we'd have to go to get to the snow, I remember thinking, I'm so glad they volunteered to find the snow because I don't' want to hike up that high to get them some snow. I'll wait until winter time and then take them to Flagstaff. Amazingly Papa found a place off the road somewhere where they must have piled some snow and the boys were able to get to play with the snow their Nana and Papa had promised them.

* We celebrated and danced the night away after Daddy completed his race. I used to be self-conscious about dancing in front of others when there really wasn't anyone else dancing. I guess something about making a 3 and 4 year old happy trumps feeling silly and dancing like a fool.

Until next time,

Angie

We're going to the mountains...

This weekend we will take our first family vacation. We are going to the mountains as the boys like to say. And they are correct. This weekend, Daddy will compete in the America's Most Beautiful Bike Ride in Lake Tahoe.

On Sunday, Daddy will complete a 103 mile bike ride around Lake Tahoe and we'll be there to cheer him on. Daddy is completing this endurance event as a part of the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society's Team in Training. He has been biking for the past 5 months to train and prepare for this weekend. I am very proud of him as this has required a significant amount of dedication, early mornings and many sore muscles. I know this will be a great challenge and just like he was there for me at the end of my marathons, we'll be there for him.

I think for Jarrett the past several months of training have been therapeutic. After being diagnosed with Hodgkin's and Non-Hodgkin's lymphoma and having to fight for his life, Jarrett is now celebrating his health by taking on a challenge he can control. I pray that everything goes well for him and that we can watch as he accomplishes this great feat.

Not only will this weekend be a lot of fun as the boys experience their first airplane ride, their first trip to the mountains and our first family vacation, but we will be celebrating Dad's health. For without him right here by my side, we wouldn't have been able to bring these two beautiful boys into our lives.

Good lucky Dad; we're very proud of you!

Mommy, Gabriel and Michael