Dad's next Chapter

When  we moved here in  2005 Jarrett came first, so he could study for the bar and find a job.  The place that  welcomed  him with open, friendly arms was Lubin and Enoch PC, a labor and employment firm that focused on helping the worker.  One of the many things he liked about working there was that he felt he was able to make a difference in the lives of the everyday worker.... just trying to provide for their family.

Lubin and Enoch was more than a job, it was a place where they worked hard, they laughed  and joked together and Jarrett felt greatly supported as he grew in his experience and became a partner..  When he was diagnosed with cancer in 2007, they supported him and offered to pay his salary even if he wasn't going to be able to be in the office while he had treatments.  They were there for us when we became parents and adopted the boys and Isabelle.  They offered compassion and support in many ways when Noah came early and Jarrett had to abruptly leave his work to be with me.  And when Noah passed away, I remember everyone from their office who was there for his wake and funeral.  They have been some of the biggest participants in Noah's Kindness Project and they celebrated with us when Madelyn came to heal our hearts. The people behind the name  Lubin and Enoch was like another family in every sense of the word.

So  that's the place that Jarrett has called his work home for the past 13 years.  And he enjoyed it.  He grew to love those he worked with and  they became like a family.  That  is why it was a very difficult decision for Jarrett decide it was time to try another opportunity that came along.  

Three weeks ago, I took these pictures as Jarrett walked into the office as a member of the Lubin and Enoch team for one of the last times. He's always one to approach new situations with excitement and optimism and this time was no different, except I could tell in his heart he was truly going to miss those he got to see almost everyday.

They say that we take the experiences we have and they shape us to be who we are in the present. The experience Dad was given at Lubin and Enoch was one that helped him in multiple ways to become who he is today.  He (and I) will always give thanks to the ways Nick and Stan welcomed him into the firm and how the whole team there became such an important part of his life.  

While we look forward to what is ahead in his new chapter, we give thanks and celebrate the place where his career all started.  

Best wishes Dad as you start a new chapter of work.  We are proud of you!

Until next time,

Angie

Reunited.

I've been following the news of Barbara Bush's passing and while it makes me sad to know they lost a beloved family member, I find great admiration in how they are approaching their loss.  They have shown grace, dignity, acceptance and peace with it.  Maybe that is one of the many valuable lessons Barbara Bush taught them in her 92 years. 

Of the many stories I've listened to as they recount her life, highlight her love with George H and her joy in family, the one story that has found an extra tender spot in my heart is reading about the loss she suffered as a mother losing her baby girl Robin at only 3 years old.

Here's the story:
https://www.today.com/parents/barbara-bush-remembers-child-lost-cancer-t127268 

I watched it.  I cried.  Tears in knowing just how they felt.  Tears of sadness in living so long with such heartache.  Tears to think of how long she waited to see her baby again.  I think all parents who lose a child can relate to the true heart break that comes with that wrong-sided goodbye.  Parents are supposed to go first.  I watched and admired, she said, "Robin's death isn't a tragedy, I think of her as my angel"  I love it.  I can relate to that feeling too.  While I never met Barbara Bush or even know much about her, I would bet a lot, that there wasn't a day that went by she didn't think of her angel.  I think its just how it works. 

On that difficult day when a parent is forced to say goodbye, there is one new day that blooms.  It's a day that lives on hope, is based on faith and is strength-giving when you feel all your strength gone.  The day that blooms on the day our beloved babies die, is the long awaited day, when you'll get to see them again. 

So tonight when I scrolled through my Instagram feed, there was one image, that appeared over and over and although it was the same, each new appearance, made my heart warmth with hope.  This is it.  This image is love.

I can only imagine the view of those watching on as the gates of Heaven welcomed Barbara home.  And as a little girl ran to her white haired momma.  An embrace I'm sure that lasted long after the stars went to bed.  

As I thought about what magic must have been seen in Heaven last night, I wondered about the spectators, the other little babies waiting for their mommy's and daddy's to be reunited.  And I wondered, just maybe, maybe our someone special was there to watch too.   And I hope he knows, that the hope of meeting again is a hope I long to have come true.  I hope that when my time here is through, if God doesn't abandoned me and grants an answer to my prayer, that oh what a great moment it will be.  

Reunited:  While Barbara Bush leaves her loved ones behind, I am sure the reunion of those who she got to meet yesterday was pretty special.  Rest in peace to a wonderful woman.  

Until next time,

Angie

Just because...

Without going into too much more detail about the sickness raging through our house, I thought I'd just give an update that we have (fingers crossed) hopefully crossed over the mountain of illness we climbed.  (hopefully- key word).

The 10-day fever and super-strong ear infection Madelyn had finally broke last Saturday after she got two antibiotic injections at the doctor. Thank goodness because our next option, the pediatrician said was to go to the hospital for testing.  

I'm still unable to hear in my right ear, understand I've got nerve damage which means hearing loss (probably not likely to return) but I'm trying to remain optimistic and remember, it could be worse.  Asking people "what" a 100 times a day and saying "Huh" might get old but at least its something I can live with. 

So there's that.  We are trying to push forward and celebrate moments where the kids are healthy (and fighting) and I'm trying to be grateful... at least I can't hear all of the fighting that happens between the walls of our house.  How's that for trying to look at the glass half full.

So with that, I wanted to share just a few random photos I've taken lately, in between all the sick visits.

Here are a few photos I took recently that made me stop and give thanks...

Here are the kids working on a poster for their dad. I love when they can all work together on something.  Even though there is 10 years between them, there are some special bonds they share.

Dad recently climbed the Grand Canyon (a future post) to celebrate 10 years of being in remission from Cancer.  The kids made him a banner to congratulate him as we came home.  

Its officially swimming season for the younger kids.  Gabriel still thinks its too cold, so he just sat and watched but Isabelle and Michael... LOVED it.

Madelyn has learned what time out is and here she is putting herself in time out because I told her not to jump on the couch, that it was dangerous.  She walked (not crying at the time) over to the time out spot, sat down, started crying and then sat there for a little bit.  When I came over to her I went through our normal talk and then said, "Say sorry and give me a hug."  She said Sorry, hugged me and then went on her way.  

I know this won't last but darn its nice not to have be the only enforcer around here.

Madelyn was also slightly happy that she got a new hat today.  Can you tell she likes it?

A few weeks ago we planted a rose bush and I was so excited to wake up this morning to see beautiful rose buds waiting to open up.  I seriously don't have even a tinge of green in my thumb so this is huge for me.  

The flowers make me think of my grandma, she had the prettiest flower gardens.

Well it didn't take long (actually only a few hours after this picture above was taken) that my flowers were no more.  The boys decided to play baseball right over my bush and broke off the flowers. 

Isn't that so nice!?  "But Mom we were just practicing baseball"

So Nice.

I tried to salvage this one by bringing it inside and putting it in this vase my grandma gave me.  I'm trying to make a rose out of a broken rose bush. 

Speaking of my grandma, the other thing Madelyn has started enjoying to do was to comb my hair with her dolls brushes.  Usually they get stuck and pull out several strands of my hair, but it reminds me of what I use to do to my grandma when I was her age. 

Man do I look tired!

Oh an in another grateful moment I happened to capture...

Michael and Isabelle (our oil and water sibling combination) have actually started playing together, mostly without arguments on rare occasions.  Here they are out front talking about something and making a pack, because a few minutes before I snapped this picture, they shook hands.  I knew I needed to get out my camera to record this forever... they will never believe that they ever got along when they are grown, so here's my evidence to prove it.

And then there's these two who love each other so much, sometimes they get sick of one another and when they get into it, Isabelle always loses.  And by loses, I mean loses a huge handful of hair.  Madelyn, that stinker she has found Isabelle's weakness is her long beautiful hair.  Perhaps Madelyn is jealous.... but Madelyn seems to be able to rip it really good and the next thing I hear is Isabelle crying and running to me saying, "Mom, she pulled out even more of my hair this time!"

Maybe that's why Madelyn knows the time out spot so well.  Lord help me, we are just over a month away from her turning 2.  These next two years are always scary.

Today Isabelle said, "Mom, I think Madelyn is the baby Boss of our house.  To which Gabriel and Michael chimmed in in agreement.  Isabelle then turned to the boys and said, "Brothers, we have to find a way to take away her power.  If only she wasn't so cute." 

Moments of gratitude.  Trying to recognize and celebrate them, among the craziness.

Until next time,

Angie

What's that you say? Sickness Saga...

So I posted a week ago about how the sickness had returned.  If I had only known the force of what was still ahead.

We finally got the boys on antibiotics long enough to get them well enough to go back to school (Gabriel has Strep and Michael both Strep and Ear Infection) but as the early week went on Madelyn and I got worse... way worse.  And then there was Isabelle who had never really gotten better but never complained about a sore throat, or ache ears.  She just had yucky (and I mean a yucky) stuffed nose.  So much so that she had a sore in her nose from wiping it so much.

On Thursday I decided enough was enough and made an appointment for her and I to go to the doctor.  When I showed up to go to get medication, it turned out the clinic was closed, as their providers were sick.  Awesome.  I decided I could wait a day (wrong decision).

I ended up getting Isabelle to the doctor and while I was there, her pediatrician said, "You better get yourself to the doctor you sound terrible."  I knew it was getting worse, stupidly I thought, I can wait til the morning.

Isabelle was diagnosed with sinus infection and some sort of infection in her nose caused by the yuckiness going on inside her head.  We left with 2 prescriptions.

In the middle of the night, after going to bed with my throat feeling like it was on fire, I woke up to my ear throbbing in pain.  It WAS terrible!  I took some Tylenol and tried to back to sleep.  By 3:30 it was almost unbearable... feeling my heart beat through my ear and the pressure like a tea kettle about to scream.

When it was time to finally get the kids up, I held my head in throbbing pain, woke them up, asked Jarrett to help me get the dog to the groomer (because of course I would have made an appointment for him to be seen at 7 am).  My head was hurting so badly, my balance was thrown off and I felt dizzy.  My legs were shaking in pain (even though I had taken 600 mg of ibuprofen) just an hour before and I told the kids, don't talk, don't make any noise as we drove to school.

Of course this would be the morning Gabriel would forget not only his baseball stuff in the back of dad's car which was now downtown, but also he'd forget his school backpack at home (after we left) and it wasn't until we got to Michael's school he realized he forgot his backpack too!  SERIOUSLY CHILDREN! Of all days.  I wanted to scream but knew it would just make my pain worse.  So I just pushed the door of the van to open and motioned for them to get out.

Gabriel was embarrassed riding in the car with me, but I think he felt sorry enough that he didn't make a comment.  He whispered if I could just drop him off for school a block early so the kids didn't seem him.  I obliged.  

I drove Isabelle, Madelyn and I to not one, or two but three different urgent care places, til I found one that was open and thank GOD only one other patient was ahead of us.  I was out of my mind in pain, so much so I told Jarrett it was almost as bad as labor. My legs were shaking out of my control in pain and I was doing the breathing exercises while I tried to tell myself to calm down.

Horrible.   The lady at the front counter saw me pacing back and forth and got the nurse to call us back.  They took Isabelle's vitals...
Oh about her... that evening after I had taken her to the doctor, I was getting her showered an ready for bed when I saw she had several red welts on her body.  They instantly reminded me of MRSA Michael had when he first came to us.  I was worried. I thought. oh no, that's definitely not something we need.  I decided to keep her home from school... washed everything she touched on sanitary that night and took her with me to the doctor before seeing if she was contagious too.

Back at the doctors they took us back.  Took our vitals and the lady said, "I'll have the doctor come right back."  By this point I was crying, again it was out of my control, the pain was TERRIBLE.  Soon the doctor came in and said, Hi I'm (don't even remember her name) and what seems to be the trouble today.  Before I could even respond, she looked at me and said, "Mom, let's look at you, you seem to be in some serious pain."  I hopped up on the table like I was 6 again and I explained how my throat hurt, I felt miserable and my ear pain was killing me.  I think I might have ear infection and  said, "I feel like I'm dying my ear hurts so much."  She first looked in my left ear which didn't hurt at all and then she came around the other side.  Touched the top of my right ear to pull it back, put her light scope in and she said Oh you have a raging ear infection and oops....

Instantly the pressure got better.  For a moment I felt relief.  Awe that's so much better... and then I felt warm liquid running down my ear and my neck.  She said, "I'm sorry your ear drum just ruptured."  I turned my head to the right side, you know that feeling when you have water in your ear after swimming and you turn you head to shake it out.  I did the same.  And then all of my hearing in my right ear was gone.  Nothing but ringing and a constant feeling of pain and fullness.  She gave me a cotton ball to put in my ear and then went to listen to my breathing.  She said, you are definitely wheezing and are not filling your lungs like you should.  You have the start of pneumonia too. She said, one moment, let me step out to see if your Strep Test came back positive.

She was gone and then came back in.  Congrats you have that too.  I'm seriously a walking petri-dish of bacteria, virus and sickness.

And then it was Isabelle's turn. I explained Isabelle was on antibiotics for a sinus infection and that I had just noticed the welts spreading last night.  She explained to my relief that it wasn't MRSA like I thought and they originally suspected, but that it was a type of staph infection because her immune system was probably compromised, it probably was able to take over.  So more prescriptions and creams for her.

The lady sent our prescriptions and off we headed to the pharmacy at Fry's to pick up our loot.  On the way there I listed to Madelyn cough, wheeze and sneeze behind me in her car seat.  When I picked her up she felt warm too. I couldn't decide if it was because it is already in the flipping 90's here or if it is because she was feeling crappy too.

I walked into Fry's, saw that their minute clinic was open and decided, "Heck, I might have well make it a triple play today and take her too.  So I signed her up, got her and low and behold she had a double ear infection too!  What a trooper, girlfriend never complains!

...

Except she was wanting to be held an awful lot and slept more than normal.

The doctor also said she was wheezy and we needed to resume breathing treatments for her every 4 hours.  Awesome!  Because I really don't have anything else to do every 4 hours (other than distribute every other child's medication) so sign me up! 

I'm honestly joking, if it makes her better, I'm happy to do it.  But I might not be joking that it sure would be nice if we didn't ALL have to be sick ALL at the same time.

Thankfully Madelyn thinks her breathing treatments are a game and she's pretty good now about taking her medication, especially if I turn on Frozen.

So that's how we rolled this weekend.  All bundled up in our house, going through Kleenex boxes like they are poker chips in Las Vegas, bleach wipes like water, and medication like...

Well just take a look below.  This is currently just the prescription medications the kids and I are on. 

It was a a great weekend for Dad to be gone.  He's the only one who hopefully will escape this plague.  So far he's okay, but I'm not making any promises.

It's been interesting this weekend at our house since I'm literally unable to hear anything out of my right ear.  The kids talk and I have to say, "WHAT?" almost every single time.  And then there's been a few times when I've been talking to the kids and Gabriel will say, "Mom you're shouting, you don't have to talk that loud."  It's awesome.  NOT.  I just hope after all this my hearing comes back.  The doctor told me there's a chance it won't and even a possibility I'd have to have surgery to repair it.  Fingers crossed that doesn't happen.

 I'm headed back to the doctor tomorrow as it turns out the antibiotic I'm on doesn't seem to be doing anything.  The pus oozing from my ear is getting worse, the pain unchanged (seriously I'm counting down the minutes on the clock til I can take my next dose of meds).  Here's hoping this week is healthier for all of us.  We could really use a few nights of pain-free sleep.

(Update- decided to wait to post this till I got back.  My suspicions were right. The antiobiotic last week prescribed did nothing, but now the infection is  worse.  Having spread down into my neck and into my jaw- no wonder everything  hurts.  The drainage from my ear is constant and looks like something you'd see on a lake infected with toxic waste (YUCKY).  I go back tomorrow to see if the new medication is working (please pray it is), plus they want to do a hearing test to see how much damaged has been caused (I can already tell them- I literally only hear ringing out of my right ear-nothing else) and then again on Thursday to make sure the infection is getting under control.  I don't want to think they were alarmed by what they saw today but the doctor did say, "Wow this is definitely worse than I suspected it to be".  That's never a good thing to  hear. 

Prayers please- that they can get this infection under control and that the damage  to my ear can heal to my hearing can return.  Never realized I how much I took my hearing for granted.

Until next time, back to the infirmary,

Angie

Easter

Man am I behind.  Since we got back from our cruise we have been racing non stop!  Lots of big changes, lots of sickness (that's a whole different post) and lots of good updates (another post). 

Here are a few pictures from Easter including my favorite surprise the Easter Bunny had for the kids on Easter morning.  Remember Easter fell on April fools this year...

The Easter Bunny must have come really late on Saturday night/Early Sunday morning.  It's almost like he wasn't quite ready for the holiday.

But there were eggs all over the house and the kids were thrilled to start picking up all the eggs the minute the clock struck 5:45 am.

They were thrilled, until a few of the eggs cracked up and they found this....

\

In fact they may have found 147 carrots to enjoy! (not that anyone counted).

Madelyn decided with the "crap" the bunny left them in the eggs, she would rather stomp on the eggs than look to see where the candy was supposed to be.

Here's Michael with all the carrots they ended up with.  Doesn't he look excited!

It wasn't really as bad as the kids appear in the pictures and videos.  They ended up going downstairs and eventually found a few gifts that were redeeming enough to not make their Easter horrible (as they may have previously stated).

Paw Patrol coloring book

And a musical keyboard for the girls

And the boys got some outdoor toys, which turns out they went out to use right away and I realized I didn't get any pictures of them.

We went to church that morning and I feel like I got to spend even a few minutes with Noah.  Here's the stained glass artwork that lights up the nursery at our church.  Isn't it pretty.  I sat in the rocker there next to the picture and watched Madelyn play.  I so wish things were different but I guess I don't get a choice, so I tried to be thankful that he was with me in a different way and helped bring Madelyn into our lives. 

I hope each of you had a wonderful Easter and that not too many April fools were pulled on you.

Until next time,

Angie

Come sail away...

Last week Jarrett and I were able to sneak away for 6 days (holy moly it felt like 6 weeks) for some time just us.  We haven't had this much time away since becoming parents, other than the 3 days we took after Noah passed.  It was glorious and we are so thankful for the time to get away, relax and connect.

We went on a  cruise out of Galveston headed south towards Mexico.  We stopped in Costa Maya and Cozumel in addition to having 2 days at sea.  We honestly didn't know what to do with ourselves and couldn't stop thinking about the kids, their schedules, all the pieces that needed to be connected.  My mom and Aunt Maggie came in to help watch the kids and Nana and Papa took Jack for us so we could be without any responsibilities for a while.  Have I mentioned how glorious it was to get away.

Galveston Government building

Oil Rigs, must be getting closer

Upon boarding the ship we found our way to the bar and had a fruity drink.  We were pretty good about finding our way around the ship from one bar to the other and even found our favorite in the Schooner bar.  Jarrett enjoyed getting to know the lead bartender Catalin from Romania.  They had lots of conversations about international countries and cultures.  Meanwhile I stayed busy with drinking and talking to the other staff.  I love hearing their stories, why they work so hard on a cruise ship and how they view the opportunity to get to be on a ship.  We have so many things to be thankful for in our country and to think that they work EVERY SINGLE DAY for 7 months straight serving others, with smiles on their faces... is remarkable. 

Center of the ship

The view from the top deck

Talking a walk around the ship... we'd walk that track many times.

Jarrett ahead of time surprised me with a massage on the ship's spa and after boarding we went to find the spa and ended up staying for a drawing where I won an additional $250 worth of services.  I was so thrilled!!!! I have never spent anywhere near that amount of money on myself at a spa.  It was SUCH A TREAT!  I ended up using it to try acupuncture and a facial.  I had been having pain in my shoulder for many months which was causing my right arm to go numb.  I was skeptical but the acupuncture seemed to help and combined with the lack of stress I was feeling, I slept without pain for the first time in months.  It was so NICE. 

Getting to be pampered at the spa was SO out of touch with my everyday.  I don't think I have ever spent that much time at a spa.  I joked that Jarrett might not recognize me when I'd come back.  

We ended up not getting off at Costa Maya so we pretty much had the ship all to ourselves.  Jarrett couldn't take the entire time off of work so he ended up working that day while I went to the pool, read a book, watched the March Madness on the big screen and soaked up every moment of peace, sun and joy. 

Costa Maya

Pretty darn beautiful!  Look at that water!

Jarrett ended up working this day, so I went to the top deck, laid on a chair, read a book, watched the NCAA basketball tournament and soaked up every minute of no-mom-duties bliss.

Another task we pretty much conquered each day was eating... oh my gosh did we conquer this.  We did our best to eat salads and healthy but I think between the drinking and the so many yummy options, we would have been better off just skipping the lettuce all together.  Our favorite experience was eating at one of the ships specialty restaurants called Giovanni's.  The food was incredible.  The had scallops that were A-MAZ-ING and then I had the filet mignon that I could cut with a fork and was the most flavorful steak I've ever had.  And after stuffing ourselves we had to have dessert... Tiramisu, that I could have eaten the entire pan myself.  It was honestly so good that we came super close to eating there again even though the other restaurant food was free.  It was incredible. 

Can you tell Jarrett thought it was good.  This was when he took a bite of my filet.  It was SERIOUSLY the best.  I think I'd book another cruise again just so I could have this!

And the desserts... delicious too!

On our final port Jarrett and I participated in the America's Cup sailing race.  Jarrett and I, along with about 15 of our previously stranger "friends" boarded two huge sailboats (one team USA and the other Canada) and we raced each other.  We ended up on the Canadian ship and we lead the entire way until the end when the USA ship took us on the inside, took over our wind source and beat us to the finish buoys.  After we raced, we sailed for a while, Jarrett got to take over as captain of the boat for a while and the bar was open.  Such a pretty place to sail and reminded us of our sailing adventure with Jarrett's friend Tom when we were in San Diego after Noah passed.  We thought so much of Tom as we sailed as we had learned just two days earlier that Tom had lost his battle with pancreatic cancer.  He would have loved to have sailed with us that day.  Another reminder to soak up the moments we get here.

The large sail on our ship was probably over 100 feet tall.  This was my view looking directly up.

That's our cruise ship in the background

Jarrett was pretty thrilled he got to captain the boat.  Want to give him a compliment... just call him Captain.  I think its a career he's aiming for in the future.

We got to do the work of cranking on the levers you see to the left of Jarrett. I did such a great job paying attention to the instructions, I forgot not only what it was called but how to actually turn them based on the commands of 1, 2 or 3.

One of the nights, the only formal one we had.  We ended up getting to let loose and stayed out way late (I think it was almost midnight-that's late for us old parents).  We kept saying... it's got to be later than 8:30, seriously I just want to go to sleep!  We ended up making our way to the schooner bar after dinner and had a lot of fun.  It didn't hurt that the bartender kept filling our glasses with Jameson shots and champagne.  I haven't partied like that since I was in college, and there is definitely a reason for it.

It seemed that night, every time we turned around people were handing us glasses of champagne.  

Seriously, even though I had a full glass in my hand, the waiter kept bringing me another.  

Before leaving the bar, being the smart professional drinkers that we are (NOT), we decided to load up on water...

Yep all 5 bottles.  And some food.  There was no time to not feel good on our few days away.

On our last day at sea I spent a great majority of the day sitting on deck 6 (the mid-deck ship) that has a walking track.  I saw on a deck chair, read my book on mindfulness and listed to the sound of the waves hitting the side of the ship.  I have never enjoyed sitting, listening to the sounds of waves and the peacefulness it brings more.  I ended up recording a few of my favorite waves so I could bring it home and listen to it when I feel stress overwhelming me again.  At one point I stood at the railing, watching the waves, paying attention to the smallest crests of each wave and in watching the waves I ended up seeing a few fish jumping out of the water and crashing down again into another wave.  Seeing water as far out as I could, I was clearly reminded of just how small and tiny I am in this bigger puzzle of life.  How massive the ocean is, how powerful the sea is and yet each creature within it is important.  Each fish, coral, wave perfectly designed at doing what it was created to do to come together in this beautiful creation of the ocean.  As I stood along the railing of the ship, thinking about my life, Jarrett and my life together, the one we've created in the 15 years of married life we've shared I could feel all my raw emotions rising to the surface.  I shed tears, I asked the ocean the same unanswered questions that cause me pain and while I never got an answer, I am reminded that just like the wave crests and recedes back before gaining strength to crest again, I guess each of us can be like a wave.  When life crashes into us, knocks us down and takes away our steam, we must find a way to pick ourselves back up, build up our strength and find the will to keep going on.

Truth being said... the last few months, I have lacked the strength and the will to do this.  I think that's why this trip was so enjoyed and important.. for many reasons.  I found myself feeling the will in my soul coming back and while I still find it void in multiple places, I know I must be mindful in cherishing the moments I have here, while not taking for granted those I get to have in my life. 

As the sun set on our last day on the ship, we could feel the reality of our normal, chaotic, stressful life seeping back in.  Having those few days to let loose, to not have to worry about anything other than feeding and drinking for ourselves was incredible.  Jarrett and I got to talk like we haven't gotten to do since we took on the title of mom and dad.  We talked about goals, what we want out of life and how we get through the hardships life has and continues to deal to us.

I vowed to myself that I was going to use this trip as an opportunity to start over in a few ways in my life.  I am going to try to be more purposeful in how I approach situations and how I try to build myself back to the person I want to be.  I am trying to celebrate moments of joy and beauty in my life, no matter how small.  I am also trying to recognize those things that cause me stress and pain and when I can I'm going to find ways to stop and accept the stressors and then find a way to remove as many as I can from my life.  I know it seems to be a huge challenge but I think it should be something I try to make my life, our life more peaceful.

Who doesn't want to stop through Las Vegas on their way home?  Actually we didn't but it ended up okay.

It's funny that I decided to take on this challenge because it didn't take long (actually no time at all) for the stressors to come back.  Upon getting back to the airport, we learned that our flight was going to be delayed due to a huge storm going through Houston.  We ended up being an hour and a half late which means we missed our connecting flight in Albuquerque and that we wouldn't be betting back to Phoenix in time for me to get to class (the whole reason we scheduled our flights as we did).  Instead we were lucky enough to spent an hour and a half on the runway (with no air conditioning), and then flew into Albuquerque, and then to Las Vegas and finally into Phoenix about 5 hours later than we were supposed to be.

And then on top of that they lost our luggage, all of it.  EVERY SINGLE PIECE.  I did my best to remain calm and laughed as I thought... thanks for the test.  It ended up working out okay and our bags did arrive the following day. 

Of the many gifts last week was, some of my favorites are these:
*a reminder that this world is truly so beautiful and there are so many great places to see.
* I want to travel more, with Jarrett alone, with our family, and even with our friends and extended family
* It is important for me to take care of myself physically (I actually worked out several days on the ship) and emotionally
*I am truly lucky to have Jarrett as my partner in this life.  I find our bond, our connection even stronger than it was all those years ago, and while our life isn't perfect, we've suffered loss and sadness I never could imagine, we are stronger together and I couldn't have made it through these hardships without him.  I can honestly say I love him more today than I did yesterday and more than I did as we stood at the alter and said I do.  I guess that in itself is a gift to me.

They say the sea is good for the soul and it couldn't be more true for me.  I love it and find it to be such great medicine.  I hope that the salt from the sea breeze that rejuvenated me last week can stay with me until the next time we get away. 


Until next time,
Angie