Well its been almost 4 months since I've been able to blog about anything and I'm especially feeling guilty that I haven't shared hardly anything about Finn.
Truth is, just haven't been able to make time. Maybe that's what happens when you're number 6. That being said, I want to stop tonight and give Finn a shout out for being the most incredible baby.... seriously!
I keep saying this to him but seriously God has spoiled us with having him be our last. Finn is the happiest, easiest-going, patient and wonderful baby ever. I know I'm biased and that all of our kiddos have been good, but seriously if I had to give a pie to the one who takes the cake, it would be him.
I've tried to figure out how he can be so relaxed when seriously most of my pregnancy and the first 4 months of his life have been some of the most stressful of our entire lives. But the truth is, I think he is God's living proof of peace, of joy and the reminder of good all around.
I'm planning to copy all of the updates related to Michael's events on here but just wanted to give Finn a little shout out for being the best little brother ever in the hospital. I think he loved it. Quiet, peaceful (for the most part) and he didn't have Jennings screaming or trying to poke him in the eyes. He was jsut able to eat, sleep, poop and only had to share mom with Michael. It seemed to be a good deal for all.
A year ago right about now I would soon learn we were expecting Finn and while he was our little surprise, I said back then, God must have sent him to us. And boy am I glad God did, because he is wonderful in so so so many ways, and I feel so blessed to be his mom, especially when he looks at me with that gummy smile and those chubby cheeks. He's just the best and we love him so.
Thanks Finn for making our lives so happy. You're such a great addition to the family. We love you!
Just a couple of weeks ago the girls went back to school. They were the first in the family to return for the fall and they are well into their routine now.
Madelyn started Kindergarten (can't believe it) and Isabelle started 4th grade (can't believe it either).
Madelyn so far is loving Kindergarten, her teacher and all that she is learning.
Isabelle, now a few more years into school, isn't as excited, especially since she has 40 kids in her class (way too many in my opinion) and is starting to realize that each year brings a bit more work and less fun time and more homework.
So far they are each doing well and we are getting used to the routine, although I kind of feel like we are all asking ourselves... where did summer go?
I can't believe that you will be starting high school tomorrow. How can it be?
Wasn't it just yesterday that Dad and I met you and Gabriel for the first time? I'll never forget that first time you reached up and grabbed my hand with your small paddy that still had baby fat in it and you told me how you liked Spiderman and McDonalds. I can't believe you've grown so quickly and into the wonderful young man you are in record time it seems.
Michael in looking back at these pictures I relive the moments over and over in my head and there are so many things that stand out.
Your laugh... genuine and true. You're funny, with a quick response and an ability to take teasing as easily as you give it.
I don't remember what you were up to here, but I can tell from the smile on your face, you were giving us a run for our money for sure.
You loved carrots in your Easter eggs right? ;-)
You're creativity, incredible mind and your ability to build, fix and create: Is remarkable.... You have a talent Michael many people would love to have and please know this is just one of the many reasons why you are incredible.
You can look at something, brainstorm in your mind how to fix or improve it and then use the supplies we have around to fix it. Seriously, this is a true skill.
Remember this science fair that you received an award for?
Just look at you tonight.... your wheelchair doesn't seem to be assembled correctly, so instead of waiting for us to contact the company, you pulled out the tools and fixed it yourself. Your initiative to take on challenges and fix things will take you very far.... Just look at what you've been able to do the past few weeks.
I'm pretty sure not too many incoming high school students would take on this task if put in the same situation.
Your care and compassion... are truly beyond that of someone who is 14. You care, think of and love unconditionally. I know you told me one time you tell us that you love us too much and the truth is, you don't at all. I love how you wear your feelings on your sleeve and that you share how much you love openly. That will take you very far in life. Michael as often as you share it, I hope you know that you are loved more than you will ever be able to truly be told in this lifetime. I am ever so thankful you are our son and that God brought us (our family) together. Dad and I love you always and forever.
Thank you also for your very kind gift to Dad and me on our anniversary. Your thoughtfulness is remarkable. Your note means even more...
I am so proud of the way you care for your younger siblings, how you take on the role of the big brother and do so without complaints but with pride, care and concern for them.
Just look at this video and see how much they all love you too...
Who else would let their little brother sit on their footrest of their wheelchair... yes I did capture that picture today in church...
Your family and extended family love you as well and have enjoyed watching you grow into the wonderful young man you are.
This is one of my favorite photos (below) Michael of when you met Noah and how proud you were.
You are such a wonderful brother and friend to your siblings.
Michael, as I look back on these pictures tonight I can't believe how quickly you've grown up. How proud I am of you. I love how goal driven you are, how you take initiative and work very hard to accomplish your dreams. How you don't take no or let set backs hold you back. How you try daily to make yourself better by learning more, by pushing yourself to be better and by trying to reach the next level of success.
I know the past 6 weeks have been less than ideal and definitely not how you planned to start your high school career. And as much Michael as I'd do anything to trade places with you and take away your injury, I wanted to take a few minutes to tell you about the good that has and will continue to come from this.
You have learned how to overcome adversity. What you faced in the hospital, just think of all the firsts you had to do and how you had to do them with pain. From transferring to a bed to be taken to surgery, to having another "clot shot", or getting out of bed that first time, to staying in bed for 5 days, to thrashing in pain when it was completely unbearable. And I could go on. You went through a lot and you faced each challenge with courage, with determination and a fight that will help you in every other challenge life brings.
You now know about the delicacy and fragility of life. Most teenagers feel invincible and that nothing can harm them. You now know how quickly life can change and in the blink of an eye you can be fine and the next not. I'll never forget how scared I was to walk in and see you on a ventilator. My heart dropped and I was so worried. I will never forget how many times you told me just how grateful you were to be alive in those first few days and I see it now when we drive and how you tell me to slow down, to watch for the cars driving erratically. While I wish this accident never happened, perhaps your new perspective on life will save you from another accident in the future. And it will remind you how fragile life is and that sometimes being slow and safe is worth its weight in gold.
You've learned the importance of perseverance. I know you want to close this chapter and put this all behind you but I see you learning the value in putting in the work day after day to get the reward in the end. I've learned in life, the reward often doesn't come until the work is put in day after day after day. And your determination, patience and perseverance to keep the faith while not being able to see the final reward is something you will need and use over and over in life. Another good lesson learned.
And another good... (at least in my mind)
I know mom is about the last on the list of cool people to hang out with at your age, but I have enjoyed so much getting to spend time with you, cleaning your wounds, holding your hand as you get ready for another surgery, talking about life's hurts and challenges we've faced in the last year or so, and watching you pick yourself up from some of the hardest moments you'll hopefully ever have to face in life and pushing ahead. Michael when I saw all that you went through in that hospital and the pain you endured and yet found a way to be kind and polite to those causing the pain to help you get better, I knew you will come out of this challenge just fine. Mom has loved getting to sleep on that cot next to you in the hospital. I've cherished all of our deep life conversations and I've found my love for you grow even more (which I didn't honestly think was possible).
Regarding starting high school with a leg injury...Yes it is going to be hard, and tomorrow might be another day filled with anxiety and hardness, but just you remember you can and will get through this. There have been many harder days you've gotten through just fine.
Michael, I know you are concerned about what others will think, say or do with you being in a wheelchair, but I want you to remember these words...
Be YOURSELF, Be proud of YOU, and don't you dare put your head down
Michael you are incredible both inside and out. Just be you and don't be afraid to let your classmates see you for who you are. People will like you for who you are, not who you might think you need to be. And if they aren't kind, well then find those who are.... because I promise you they are there, and probably feeling the same thing as you... just wanting to be accepted for who they are and worried they can't let their real self be seen.
Michael, these next four years are going to fly by, and I hope for my selfish sake they don't go too fast, but I know they will.
I promise you that Dad and I will be here for you every step of the way. We will cheer you on, help you anyway we can and be there for when the days are hard and you need someone to remind you of just how amazing you are.
Michael, thank you for being you....we love you so much. We love you so much. We love you so much.
Can't wait to hear how your first day goes. I'll be thinking of you all day.
