Shut it down…

One of the great friends I met since moving here, Sarah (who to our loss moved back to the Midwest to be closer to family) and I use to talk about how when life got too crazy, (she’s a momma with 4 kiddos at home too) that she’d gather the troops together and let them know she was “shutting it down.”  I smiled the first time she talked about it as I wasn’t sure what she meant.  She explained that when their life got too crazy, people started getting angry and the stress levels were rising higher than they’d like, she’d call her family together and tell them it was time to shut down the stress, shut down the chaos, to shut down the daily life stressors that fill most moments of our life.  Just like shutting down a car at the end of the day, you drive it in the garage, turn it off, take the keys, lock the door and let it rest.  Sarah just shut down the stressors her family faced like we shut down our car.  I have thought of Sarah’s analogy so many times since our original conversation and there’s been many times we’ve done similar things and I write this tonight with the hope that this weekend we can just shut it down.

Lately our lives have been so chaotic, and I fully admit we do it to ourselves, but I honestly can’t tell anymore if we are coming or going.  Actually I think we are coming and going at the same time.  Do you ever feel like you’re racing around trying to get so much done that you’re really not getting anything done?  This is where we’ve been lately. 

The kids are busy.  Now that we are back to school, its early mornings, busy evenings, late nights and the cycle keeps on repeating itself.  Gabriel’s middle school schedule is so busy, I feel like we hardly see him anymore… I guess its just the start of this new phase of life.  He is loving it.  He has cross country practice at 6:30 each morning followed by school, homework and then 5 out of the 7 days of the week he and Michael are playing fall ball.  Thankfully he’s been doing a great job managing it all and is stepping up to the plate (like that baseball reference?) and following through.  I have to remind myself he is only 11 and the things he’s able to keep track of are pretty amazing- lunch, change of clothes, changes for gym clothes, homework, snacks, 2^nd breakfast, and any other random note, form or paper he has to return each day.  There’s only been one call (so far) that he’s forgotten something important, for almost being in school a month, I’ll give him a pat on the back for that.  Especially since I forget my lunch most days.   Oh and I’m not even going to start about how much he’s changed since he started middle school.  I’ll just leave it here that last week he went to his first middle school dance and through the grape vine I learned he has two handfuls of girls “talking” to him.  He came home with a ponytail holder on his wrist.  When I asked him why he was wearing one of Isabelle’s ponytail holders he said, “Mom, this is NOT Isabelle’s.”   Later Michael (thankfully he’s my secret spy into teenage boy world) told me it was from a girl.  Who knew, gifting ponytail holders were the new way of saying you liked someone.  Watch out friends, my Christmas shopping just got a lot easier!

A few shots from today's cross country meet where Gabriel ran against fellow 6th graders and 7th and 8th graders.  He did well especially since it was 112 according to my car when I pulled up to the school to watch him.

Then there’s Michael who loves 5^th grade but finds the extra jump in homework a bummer… I keep telling him he should be used to it.  It wasn’t like he didn’t have homework before, its just this time it’s his teacher and not mom giving the extra work.  He’s liking playing baseball on the same team as Gabriel and LOVES their new coach.  This coach is amazing, patient, caring and so knowledgeable.  Isabelle LOVES kindergarten, and I mean she LOVES her teacher.  She loved Ms. Stacey her preschool teacher and as much as she loved her, she loves Ms. Knowlton even more.  Everyday and I mean EVERY SINGLE DAY after school, Isabelle comes home and makes a note for her teacher.  She draws her pictures, writes her name and how much she loves her.  She sneaks “goodie bags” in her backpack (even after I’ve checked it) with treats for her teacher in there.  And it’s’ funny, just last night at the dinner table she said, “Mom, guess what?”  to which I responded, “What Isabelle?”  Isabelle said, “Mom, I love, love love…” and thinking she was going to say me she instead paused with this endearing look in her eyes and said, Mom, I LOVE Mrs. Knowlton SO much!”  There went the wind from my sail.  But in all seriousness, I’m so happy she’s found a teacher who she loves.  Her teacher reminds me of my kindergarten teacher Mrs. Schneaburger, who was like a kind grandma and gave warm hugs and loved us from day one.  Mrs. Knowlton is very much that and more. 

And Madelyn.  Poor Madelyn.  Her start of the school year hasn’t been as much fun.  Madelyn started daycare two weeks ago and has been sicker than sick ever since.  I knew this was in the mail, it’s just the process of being exposed to all the new germs and more, but darn does it suck. She literally has been snotty nosed, coughing, ear infected, under the weather baby since the 12^th.  I feel so bad for her.  She’s never been clingy and now she won’t even let me put her down to change her diaper.  She just feels miserable and lays her head on my shoulder as if to say, “Mommy take it all away.”  It takes almost everything in me to take her to daycare each morning, as they peal her away from me.  She cries, gives the big bottom lip and begs for me to take her.  I hate it.  I hate every minute of it, and yet I remember doing the same thing with Gabriel, Michael and Isabelle.  It’s so much better to have Isabelle’s situation of almost loving her teacher too much.  Thankfully our wonderful friend and pre-k teacher Ms. Stacey is checking in on her and Madelyn loves her.  

One of the first visits to the doctor...  this time  for both girls! 

Different day, same doctors office, another diagnosis.

Just  this week, Madelyn and I spent the night in the hospital.  Sickness go away!

I just pray Madelyn can get better.  She’s been so congested lately that it’s affecting her breathing. In fact 2 nights ago we were in the emergency room as she was having see-saw breathing and it scared us!  

They were able to suction her out a couple of times and give her a medication to help with the swelling in her respiratory airway but in the end they said we just have to give it time to let her body overcome the virus.  Today we went BACK to the doctor as she isn't getting any better to find today's diagnosis... ear infection and hand and mouth virus.  Fun fun.  Seriously it isn't and I just want my baby to get better.  

And onto of that with all the kids, Jarrett’s work has been CRAZY busy, my season of work is in full swing and we are still living out of boxes.  I decided to take a class this fall and  we took possession of our new home last Friday, only to start the long remodeling process on Friday afternoon.  Oh  and the fun thing I left out, was/is planning for  Noah's Kindness Project! More information to come on that VERY soon!

So  this  weekend, while many people are taking the long weekend to go do something fun, I think we are  going to "shut it down" instead.  I think a low key weekend (besides the baseball  tournament  the boys are in), of movies, swimming, early to bed, late to rise, is just  what the doctor ordered... along  with  the second tier antibiotics and a return visit next week.  :-)

Wishing you all a safe, relaxing and fun Labor Day.

Until next time,

Angie 

Update on Grandpa

Thank you for the prayers for my Grandpa and for checking in with me to see how he's doing. The prayers are helping! Thankfully he came through surgery like a champ and is in the hospital recovering.  It hasn't been all sunshine and roses, he's has pain (although he doesn't complain) and he has to keep his arm in an upright (uncomfortable position) and the medication to help with the pain have been causing some other complications that are unpleasant.   He's has his arm in a unnatural position since Saturday evening.  He's hopefully going to be released to our local  hospital tomorrow.  He's working on regaining his balance and adjusting to only having 1 hand/arm to use.

My dad, Aunt and Uncle have all stayed with him and each of them comment how tough he is.  I think about all he had to endure in WWII and while I know he's tough, for 90 plus years old, he's tougher than tough.

If I may ask for the prayers to continue please.  In addition to needing them for his recovery, he also lost his youngest brother Mark today.  I'm sure his heart aches in many ways tonight.  Through it all my grandpa continues to smile.  Here he is today with my sister MaeLyn who also works at the Mayo Clinic and came to visit him today for a few minutes.

We love you Grandpa.  Keep getting better!

Until next time,
Angie

Noah's Kindness Project t-shirts 2017

As we prepare for Noah's Kindness  Project again this year, I personally get excited about getting a new t-shirt.  I love the reaction I get when I wear my Noah's Kindness Project shirt throughout the year and people ask, "What is Noah's Kindness Project?"  Then we tell them and so many say, "That's awesome.  I'm going to do something in honor of Noah and I'll think of your son."  It makes me so happy to know the world can  be even a tiny bit nicer because of our little boy.

I love being a walking billboard for lack of a better word, for if it can make others aware of the difference they can help make in the lives of others by showing a bit of kindness, I'm all for it.  Plus, we still have a few more colors to go before we have our rainbow of Noah's Kindness Project t-shirts.  Secretly that's what the kids are excited most about... a color for each day of the week.

So enough about why we love the shirts, let me cut to the chase and say, they are back and this year, we are going back to the cotton shirts and getting them in green!  Let me tell you these are the softest t-shirts I've ever felt!  And comfy!!!! I have one of these styles already and its become my go to shirt. It's kind of like wearing my pajamas around... I LOVE it!

This year we will have men (shown above) and women's cut (below) and they will be in Green Frost (the color shown above in the actual mock up of the Men's shirt for this year).

The ladies shirt is below (again it will be the green frost instead of blue).

Color will be  Green Frost but the style is laid out nicely

We will also have youth shirts which will be in Neon Green- my boys are so  excited!

Below is the  link to view the shirts and to place your orders.  We  will take orders for shirts through Sunday,  September 10th, so please order your shirts today.  The cost will be approximately $10. and remember you can  still  get them even if you don't live in Arizona.  We'd gladly ship them  to you!

TO ORDER YOUR SHIRT TODAY, PLEASE CLICK HERE!

The deadline to submit t-shirt orders is Sunday, September 10.

Thanks again for your support!

Until next time,

Angie

Prayers for my grandpa...

Tonight a lot weighs heavily on my mind but the person at the top of the list is my Grandpa.

Today he fell and broke note only the 2 bones in his arm but also his wrist and his thumb.  He is currently in the hospital and in the morning will be transported to Mayo Clinic in Rochester where the specialist will perform surgery to repair his arm.

My mind, my heart and my whole body want nothing more than to be with him in his hospital room, I know I can't do anything to help but even just to sit next to him would make me feel better.  Instead I sit here and pray constantly that they can keep his pain at bay, that he gets through the night and then the surgery with no complications and that he knows just how much I love him.

I love this picture of him!

My grandpa and I have always been close.  He took me to preschool, dropped me off at Kindergarten and most every other grade at school.  We spend most weekends together when my parents were working and when we would ride the bus, he'd drive his van to the top of the hill at the end of our drive each morning so we could sit inside where it was warm and not have to freeze waiting for the bus.  In-fact he and my grandma were the ones who dropped me off at college.  These are just a few of the millions of things he's done for me in my life.

I could spend the whole night talking about the fun times we've had, the great memories created, the laughs, the tears, the discussions and the worlds problems we've solved.  And I'd probably still be able to write more in the morning.

Tonight I ask for your prayers for him. Please pray for his healing, for his safe and successful surgery.  I would certainly appreciate it.

At 92 years young, besides my parents, I can think of only 1 others person who has been there for me my entire life.  He's been my biggest cheerleader, my constant encourager and reminder that God will see us through the hard times.  My life has truly been blessed because he was a part of it.

Grandpa , oh how I wish I could give you a hug and tell you in person just how much you mean to me.  I know we tell each other every morning when we talk, but I love you very much, please don't ever forget that.  I'm so thankful for all the times we've had and I'm looking forward to creating a few more when I come back in a few weeks. I pray God lays his healing arms upon you and keeps the pain away.  I'll talk to you in the morning but you'll be in my prayers all night.

One of my favorite pictures of Grandpa, Me and Noah (still comfy inside).

Until next time,
Angie  (aka... bright eyes)

Noah's Kindness Project: Feed My Starving Children

Today 6,200 children across the world will die from hunger related causes.

You read that correctly.

According to Feed My Starving Children, by the end of THIS day more than 6,200 children across this world will DIE from hunger related causes.  

These statistics were startling to me as I read that statement.  So much so that I had to read it a few more times to comprehend just how many 6,200 children is.  Jarrett and I grew up in a  small town of less than 4,000 people, that's nearly double of our hometown EACH and EVERYDAY, of children who pass away all because they don't have enough food.  

We are lucky to be included in those who are fortunate enough to never have  to worry about where our next meal will come and as one of the lucky ones, we feel it is important that we try to do something to help. 

So that's why this year, one of the activities we've decided to participate in for Noah's Kindness Project is volunteering to pack bags of food to benefit the non-profit organization called Feed My Starving Children (FMSC)  Founded in 1987, FMSC is a Christian non-profit that  provides nutritionally complete meals specifically formulated for malnourished children.  Their process is pretty simple... Volunteers sign up to help pack meals, people donate money to help fund the meal ingredients and meals are donated to FMSC food partners around the world.  Kids are fed and LIVES ARE SAVED!

Here's a quick video, I encourage you to watch.  It is truly eye-opening to see how critical this organization is in saving lives and how they can benefit by our little bit of help.

HOW CAN YOU HELP?

1) SIGN UP TO HELP US PACK MEALS: 

So  here is how we plan to help.  We have reserved a group volunteer shift for Saturday morning, October 7 from 9-11 a.m. in Mesa, AZ and we invite those who are available to join us for the Noah's Kindness  Project team.  If you are local and would like to be a part of our team to help pack meals, please sign up here.

2) DONATE TO HELP PURCHASE FOOD

If you are unable to help pack food, or are not local, but still feel called to participate in this act of kindness with  us, you can still help!  Because this group is a  non-profit and they have to purchase the ingredients for the meals, they ask for donations to help offset the cost of the food.  If you would like to donate to help provide meals, please visit their donation link here.  If you so choose, please check the box and mark that you are donating as a part of Noah's Kindness Project.  

3) or Do BOTH!

We hope you'll consider joining us for what will be a very moving and impactful experience.  Children who are 5 years or older are welcome to participate so bring your whole family if you'd like.  Please sign up today.  We need to submit our final group numbers in the next 2 weeks, so please sign up before September 15.

Thank you and until next time,

Angie and Jarrett

Madelyn’s Milk….

I’ve talked about breastfeeding and how fortunate I’ve felt to be able to breastfeed Madelyn since the beginning.  Being able to breastfeed was something I didn’t get to experience with Noah, although I was able to build a pretty intimate relationship with the hospital pump loaned to me for the first 12 days of his life. There is so much said, discussed and shared about breastfeeding when you’re pregnant.  They talk about it like it’s the only way to go… how you shouldn’t even think a second about NOT doing it.  And then when the baby comes and your trying to recover from birthing a live human out of your nether regions, you then have the baby thrust upon you in another one of your regions that hasn’t yet been ripped apart.  Okay, I’m getting a bit graphic here, but let me continue a moment.  As if you haven’t experience enough trauma yet, unleashing a new round of “how sore can I be”, a baby is given to your loving arms and God willing they begin the beautiful act of breastfeeding.  Kind of cool that it is a natural instinctive response for some babies.  And that first time, when you have no clue what you’re doing, you think “Wow, she really knows how to suck.”  And then there’s the second day of life when she wants nothing more than to suck on your body part for almost 24 hours straight.  Keep in mind, you’re trying to recover from birthing a live human out of your nether regions.  Let’s not forget that major incident that happened a few hours prior.  Back to the issues in hand…

Breastfeeding at the beginning was NOT easy, there were tears, there were cracks, there was blood and there was some serious second guessing if I could do it.  At Madelyn’s newborn photo shoot, we couldn’t get her to sleep and she was fussy so I fed her and with each latch I wanted to scream “OOOOOOUUUUCHHHH” for the entire neighborhood to hear.  I mean SERIOUSLY SO PAINFUL.  As our wonderful friend Ashley, an amazing photographer waited patiently in our living room for me to feed Madelyn, I turned to her and asked if she breastfed and how she got past the pain part.  She smiled and said, “Give yourself 2 weeks, by then it will be better.”  I thought to myself, I don’t know if I can handle feeding this kid for the rest of this day, a whole other week? I held onto Ashley’s words and I told myself each time Madelyn nursed around the clock for the next 7 days that my light at the end of the tunnel was coming.  And boy am I glad I persevered. 

Ashley was right and I did make it til the end of the next week, and through a few rounds of getting Mastitis (another unpleasant experience), but I continued to nurse Madelyn and she’s grown so well, she surpassed growth charts in every category.  As much as I loved saving money on not having to buy formula (and I think formula is great-  seriously however our children get fed is great, the fact is their tummies are full), I think what I enjoyed most was the time that getting to fed Madelyn gave to me.  We’ve had uninterrupted mommy and baby time since day 1 and while most feedings ended up being interrupted, it was time that I got to spent holding my baby.  I also think, as private as we are about what happens to our bodies and how I feed her, knowing that I was feeding Madelyn from a part of me was good for the rest of the family to see (or not see- if you get my point) too.  I think the boys and Isabelle saw that breastfeeding isn’t weird or strange but that it’s just a part of life. 

In the last 14 months of Madelyn’s life I’ve been fortunate that my body has been able to produce enough milk for her and others.  When Noah was in the NICU he received donor milk when mine hadn’t yet come in, and I thought about how grateful I was for another stranger to share their milk to help my baby.  Recently there was this story shared on the Today show and I couldn’t help but reflect and think back on our time in the NICU with Noah. Some woman donated her nutritious milk for my baby and I knew, God willing, if I was able to have enough milk for Madelyn, that I wanted to give any extra I could to a milk back to help NICU babies.  And I thought, perhaps I could donate some milk in memory of Noah, my own act of kindness to share with other strangers in memory of my baby boy.

I was blessed.  My milk came in, in abundant supply.  Some told me it was because I had two babies back to back that my milk supply was great.  I’m not sure, but I am sure that I was so thankful it did.  I was very religious about pumping, waking up every night in the middle of the night to not only feed Madelyn but then pump afterwards. First I pumped to have enough milk on hand to feed Maddie when I went back to work.  Soon our freezer was full.  I felt comfortable I could return to work and have enough to get her started.  And then I went back to work and Madelyn never really took to the bottle.  In fact she despised it. Soon I had filled my parents freezer, their deep freezer and I was running out of room.  I continued to pump because I thought, what if my milk dries up, then we need to have extra.  We purchased a large deep freezer ourselves and when I was able to fill that within a few weeks, I knew, we had more than enough milk.  It was time to start sharing.

I contacted the Rocky Mountain Milk Bank and began a long series of background checks, interviews, physical screenings, blood draws… a process almost as long as becoming a certified adoptive parent.  With each step, another piece of paper, another form for my physician to sign, I told myself, it’s all to make sure the tiny babies are safe.  I reminded myself someone, some ones had gone through the same process for my little boy about 18 months prior.  That motivated me to become a donor even more.  I developed a friendship with the lady at the milk bank, having had to give my history to them, they knew about Noah and she’d remind me with each step, how grateful they were for my donations and how I knew firsthand how much the donated milk would mean to some family.

The day the first ice cooler chest arrived, I was a bit nervous.  I know silly right.  I went through each bag that had been marked and I wrote down all the extra information that needed to be on the bag.  My hands were frostbit by the time I was done and I had written my donor number 11186 on more than 300 bags of milk. I wrote a letter to Patricia, the lady who helped me become a donor and I told her why this act was so important to me.  I shared information about Noah’s Kindness Project and I said, it was my hope this small act of kindness could help others.  I sealed up the enveloped and put it in one of the boxes.   Jarrett helped me to seal up all four large coolers, to label them correctly and to get them on our door step for the FedEx man to pick them up before being shipped overnight to their destination.  I watched as the driver picking them up grunted with each box he grabbed, that much milk wasn’t light.  It sounds silly but as the milk drove away in the van I wondered where the milk would go.  How many babies would it go to help?  What would be their stories?  How many of them would be able to find nourishment and grow as a result of something small I did.  Thinking about it, made my heart feel happy.  I prayed for the babies, I prayed for their parents, their families and I smiled with the hope that just maybe I had done something to help.

A week later I received an email from Patricia at the milk bank. Her email below…

Good afternoon Angela,

We’ve received your donation and it is being processed so it can get out there to help                babies!  We could not do anything without the gift of your milk, and I want you to                   know how deeply we appreciate the effort and time and emotion that your gift entails.

I just wanted to let you know how much your note and card/picture of Noah means to me.  Rothie brought it up from the back where he found it in a box of your milk.  I had no idea what it might be, and when I opened it and read your story, I got tears in my eyes.  Not only for your kind words, but also for Noah.  You see, I used to be a NICU nurse, and have cared for countless babies just like Noah.  Tiny, fragile and fighting little soldiers and I have more admiration for Noah than I can ever express.  You captured his story so beautifully, and now you are donating in his honor to tiny babies just like him. 

I looked up your milk log in your file, and it shows that you’ve donated an amazing 1,808 ounces of precious milk!  What a remarkable woman you are, Angela!  To give and give of yourself and your time so that babies can have better lives.  Thank you on behalf of all those tiny ones whose lives you’ve touched. 

I will try to do extra acts of kindness every day in honor of Noah – and his family who love him so dearly. 

Kindly,

Patricia

Her note brought tears to my eyes and I felt, another moment of healing had occurred.  I always want to do things to honor and remember him, and this act had made me feel like I had been able to do just that. 

Madelyn continued to grow like a weed and my body, thankfully continued to produce excess milk.  I was able to stop the middle of the night pumping and yet I was still able to fill up more and more bags of excess milk.  Over the course of the past year, I saved, labeled and shipped 17 coolers full of milk to the milk bank and was able to donate some milk to a friend here who had a baby and needed some extra supplement.  In June before we closed on the sale of our home, I emptied out the last of the milk in our stand up freezer and I boxed it up to send off.  I knew that the chapter of donating milk was coming to a close but I was honored to be able to participate.  Again without Noah, I would have never known or even considered such an act of kindness.  With each bag I pumped I hoped some miracle in some NICU across the country would find benefit from it.  All those hours sitting connected to a machine was worth it. 

This past week I received an email from the Director of the Milk Bank.  It was out of the blue, my last donation sent many months before.  Her email was to thank me for my contribution to their bank.  That she was so grateful for the dedication and commitment to help tiny babies.  Within her email she shared with me that I had donated more than 4,700 ounces of milk.  That’s almost 37.  gallons of milk.* (Thanks Eric for the math correction, teaches me for writing a post on no sleep in the middle of the night).  I was surprised.  I had no idea it had been that much.

In getting to have Noah and then losing him 12 days later, I’ve learned so much.  I’ve learned nothing can be taken for granted.   It’s not easy to get pregnant.  It’s not easy to carry a baby to full term.  It’s not always a guarantee that when you see the two pink lines on your test that you get to take a health baby home.  Some babies don’t get their first breath of air.  Some babies spend months in a hospital, hooked up to monitors, to breathing machines and their first chance to be held isn’t for many weeks.   So much in life is out of our control and yet within the uncertainty are things we can do to make a difference.  I’ll never meet the babies that hopefully received my milk.  But those babies have been prayed for, have been thought of and I hope showered in kindness.

Breastfeeding isn’t easy, it isn’t painless.  But when I think of what those babies are going through, the burden of worry those parents carry each day their most precious baby fights for strength to keep going, I quiet my complaints and I give thanks for the gift that getting to breastfeed a healthy baby is.  Sharing milk to help tiny miracles fighting for their lives was healing for me.  And it is my hope that the milk shared was healing for the miracles unfolding each day in the NICU.

And to think it all happened because of this little miracle.

Until next time,

Angie   

Love is easier than hate...

Within the last week there has been so much hate in the world, its disheartening.  It's sad, its hard to explain and if you let yourself be consumed by it, you feel despair that can keep you up in the night.

I feel sad that our country is in a place where these are the types of headlines we have to read, our children have to read.  My grandfather volunteered to fight against such atrocities in WWII.  And here we are more than 70 years later it's hard to believe we have still so much farther to go.

This past weekend it was hard to escape the sadness that was happening across our country in Charlottesville, VA.  I tried to keep the kids oblivious to what was happening but enviably they saw.  And they tried to process.  "Mom, what does White Supremacist mean?"  "What is a Neo-Nazis?" I honestly didn't know where to begin and to explain to them that this was happening in 2017, I struggled to decide how to approach it.  I decided to be honest, to be open and to explain to them the best way I knew how, the truth.  I'm sure I stumbled over words but I did my best to clearly explain.  The boys sat staring at me and when I stopped talking they said, "Mom, does that mean we aren't as good or equal as someone who is white?"  I swallowed and I said, "Gabriel and Michael that is absolutely NOT true.  God created all of us to be equal, to love each other as we so loved our God.  Sadly not everyone believes this and in those people's minds they believe some people have more value than others.  I assure you both, they are wrong."

I tried to not let my voice crack.  Just vocalizing it to them made me feel sadness, burning anger and hurt that they would ever have to ask themselves such a question.  It took me back to the political campaign when they feared they were going to be banned as a U.S. Citizen because they are Hispanic and Caucasian.

We continued on about our day and my mind kept going back to that earlier conversation.  I thought, "How did we get here?"  How has so much changed in this country in such a short amount of time?  What would happen if we would focus more on loving one another, on praising qualities those who have different beliefs, who look differently and who may have even different views than us?  What if we choose kindness over everything else?

In this world where so much of the headlines, the news on the radio, the TV, our phones and our computers is all negative, the sadness in my heart was diminished, when I look at our future... when I look at our children.

That same afternoon, Dad and the boys went to a baseball game, so Madelyn, Isabelle and I were home.  I asked Isabelle what she would like to do for something fun and she picked going to McDonald's to the play land.  As much as I would have preferred to go anywhere else, I let her choose, so we went.  After eating, Isabelle asked to run off to the play center.  Already playing were two girls... girls with different color skin than Isabelle but about her same age.  One girl it seemed to be about 5 just like Isabelle, and the other a couple of years older than Madelyn.   I sat with Madelyn and observed the interaction.

Isabelle and the girl about the same age met at the top of the climbing structure and immediately my daughter said, "My name is Isabelle, what is your name?"  The girl responded and without a second hesitation Isabelle said, "Would you like to play together?"  I looked down at Madelyn at my feet and I smiled.  I felt the sadness in my heart from earlier that morning, grow weaker, dissipate some. And then the other girl said, "Isabelle this is my little sister Naomi."  Isabelle said hi and in typical Isabelle fashion said, "Guess what?, I have a baby sister "Sweetie Pie", but we call her Madelyn.  Would you like to come see her?"  Seconds later, standing near me was Isabelle and her two newest friends, giving Madelyn a high five and telling us how cute they thought she was.

For the next 45 minutes the three of them and sometimes Madelyn when they'd come to check on Isabelle's baby sister, played together like they had been friends for life.  They didn't see the differences that each of them possessed, they saw the similarities they shared.  They saw a stranger as a friend, the opportunity to have fun, to celebrate the moment and to share kindness.

Several times throughout their playing I wanted to stop and record the interaction taking place, to broadcast it across all my social media platforms.  To say, "Maybe we should look to our children as leaders for how we need to act."  Maybe we've forgotten to choose love over hate.  

I never would have thought my trip to McDonald's with my daughter this past Sunday would have presented me a moment to reflect, a lesson to be learned, but it did.  I think a post on Twitter that has become the most liked Tweet in the history of Twitter said it perfectly...

No one is born hating another person because of the color of his skin or his background or religion.  People learn to hate and if they can learn to hate, they can be taught to love.  For love comes more naturally to the human heart than its opposite. - Nelson Mandela (Shared by former President Obama)

Yes, love does come more naturally.  Love doesn't see in color, or religion or background.  Love is love is love is love.

I pray our country can take a lesson from the children demonstrating each and everyday for us on playgrounds across this great nation.... let's come together, lets celebrate our similarities while respecting our differences and share kindness and love with reckless abandon.

Don't we at least owe it to our children, our future, to try?

Until next time,
angie  

Doing things a bit different... Noah's Kindness Project 2017

For the past two years we've had a wonderful time sharing kindness within our community, country and greater world.  It is a day filled with so much love, kindness and activities that we sit down at  the end the day and we are exhausted.  That's the sign of a good days done right?

As much as we love and enjoy that special day in October, in talking this past year we realized that it is just that... one day. While we think of Noah everyday of our lives, and we plan to celebrate the legacy of his life each October, was there something more or different we could be doing?  Over the last year Jarrett and I have talked and come to a decision that this year we wanted to do Noah's Kindness Project a bit differently this year.

We started off our plan in January of this year. What we decided is that instead of trying to jam pack 12 events of kindness into one day, we were going to be intentional about building in at least one act of kindness each month to honor Noah.

For the past 8 months we've been enjoying our own mini Noah's Kindness Projects and celebrating kindness with others.  Some of the activities we've participated in our listed below...

• January: Toy and game box for children at Phoenix Children's Hospital- we gathered some  toys and games to be shared with some children fighting big battles.  

• February: Donating breast milk to NICU- a follow up blog post coming

  

  More information coming.

• March: Extra Tipping of a Service Professional- While on vacation we got to know a few of the service professionals who treated us like queens and kings on our cruise.  These folks are some of the hardest working people I know, with only a few hours of sleep a day that they are "off"  and most of them 
  
  

  

  Just one of the many hard hard working crew on the ship that made us feel extra special.

• April: Grocery Cart Return- One of our favorites - This month was pretty busy for us as we moved out of our house and put everything in storage.  For this month we decided to do one of our favorite kindness acts.  Each time the kids and I would head to the grocery store, we'd take a few extra minutes and return all the carts left throughout the lot.  On of our favorite things about this act of kindness is the response we get from others in the parking lot.  You can see them watch the kids as they race from cart to cart.  I stayed close to the van with Madelyn and I watched several people's responses.  Some smiled and shook their head with approval as they drove away.  Others took time to walk over to the kids and tell them individually how nice what they did was.  And then there was the store cart return employee who was super excited to have the help.  He seemed to be so grateful and high-fived each of the kids as they brought him  the carts.  Such a simple act, doesn't cost anything but time and is a nice help for many,.

• May:  Fundraiser for NICU miracle therapy fundraiser- In May we helped by supporting a fundraiser for a little NICU miracle.  A family from the NICU where Noah lived had a baby several years early who graduated from the NICU. He still struggles with some health challenged including physical ones.  This summer his family was trying to raise money to be able to travel to California for a month  long intensive therapy program for  their little boy.  They had a fundraiser which we supported.  They were able to attend and so happy to report back that their little miracle had great success!

• June: Treats for NICU hospital staff.  In June when we celebrated Noah's birthday we made our usual trip back to the NICU and to antepartum to take treats to the staff working.  It was nice to visit with our great friend Lauren for a few minutes outside the NICU, it always feels a bit like going home for me when we head back there.  Afterwards the kids and I went to the antepartum unit and when they let us in, none of the nurses there were there when I was a patient.  They asked me about my stay and assumed it was for Madelyn who was in the car seat.  Instead we shared the story about Noah and a couple of them knew about him (how cool) and the others were deeply touched by the fact that we continue to come back and visit and share treats.  It was clear it meant a lot and it meant the same to us. 

• June also:  Kindness recovery box for precious little girl- one of our friends precious little ones had to undergo a major surgery and they faced several challenges on their daughter's road to recovery.  We prayed for their little baby and wanted to do something to help.  We took up this gift to them at the hospital, and left it at the front desk with the receptionists.  They said they would delivery it to her room.  As we were leaving the hospital, and walking out the doors we saw a rainbow and knew Noah was there with us.  What made this act of kindness even more special was that when they delivered it to their room the person said this was to their daughter from Noah (we never mentioned who it was from). 
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• July: Scholarship for healthcare miracle worker, In July we gifted a scholarship per say to a well deserving healthcare professional.  We became aware of this person's story and learned that they not only put themselves through college all while working but had to take out school loans to be able to go to school.  After college they started working and have been a dedicated healthcare provided for a few years. They have been working very hard to pay off their loans.  We gifted them a little extra to make some extra progress in their loan repayment process.  We know first hand how mountainous student loans can see and upon gifting them some extra to help, it was clear they were deeply touched.  It made us feel great to know we were able to help, even a little bit.

• August: Starbucks and McDonald's Drive through.. Pay it forward.  While the month of August is just getting started, we've so far helped by pulling through the drive through and paying for the person's order behind us in line. 

Not only was our hope to celebrate more than one day during the year but also help alleviate a  bit of the craziness that has been NKP day the past two years.  This year we will have a day of activities but we hope to have simplified our day a bit so that we can slow down and enjoy the acts a bit more.  

We are starting to put together the schedule now.  So stay tuned.... more information to come!

Until next time,

Angie

14 years baby!

Jarrett,

So here it is the eve of our anniversary, 14 years can you believe it?  How can we be married for 14 years?  The time is flying by.  And that’s not even counting all those years we dated.  Lord all mighty, now THAT’S a long time!

I know we promised each other we weren’t going to do anything even down to not getting each other a card but I thought writing a blog post really isn’t much right? 

I just wanted to take few minutes to say thanks for being the best partner one could ask for.  Thanks for always being there, for all the hard work you put in for our family, for putting out the trash, taking care of the dog at night, paying the bills, taking care of the cars, for pulling back in the trash and for the million other things you do which I never say thanks for.  Can you tell I really appreciate you taking care of the trash? J

As crazy as our life is, and our life is definitely that, I can’t imaging sharing this chaos with anyone else.  I was just thinking back the other day to one of the first dances we went to together in high school and how we were just babies (BABIES I TELL YOU!) and now here we are flying through our 30’s on our way to the top of the big 40 hill.  How can we slow down that train?  That’s another post for another day.

When I lay down my head at night and pray for a night with as minimal amount of interruptions as possible, I say my prayers and give thanks that the person lying beside me (well actually besides Madelyn since she sleeps in the middle of us) is you. I think it’s funny that each morning we get up and compare stories about who got less sleep, between the dog wanting to eat at midnight and then pee at 3 am or Isabelle coming to visit us at 2 to ask if she can sleep with us too, or Madelyn and her unpredictable routine of “party at night- sleep during the day” and Michael’s sleepwalking.  It’s just one of the many bonds and connections we get to share together in this life we’ve created.

When you were 16 and crushing on a girl with curly (mostly frizzy) hair who wore sweatpants every day, did you think fast forward 20 years that you’d be married to that girl, a dad to 5 kiddos, a divo dog, a business owner and have more responsibilities than you can count?

I always envisioned us together but I never thought it would be like it is.  In the last 14 years (well actually 21 years together if you consider how long we dated) we’ve weathered some pretty hard times.  Some moments that I didn’t know how we’d ever get through, now looking back I see I couldn’t have gotten through them without you.  You have been a rock for me through every valley and a source of strength as we climb every hill.

I used to wonder how my grandma and grandpa could finish each other’s sentences and correctly respond to each other’s questions that were never vocalized, and now we do the same for each other.  I love that after all this time our minds seem to switch topics and land on the same one without even as a hint to what the other is thinking.  I hope we never stop being surprised when that happens because you know what, I think it’s a part of this special thing we’ve got going on. 

As hard as the hard times have been to face, I look back now and realize it was in those times that we grew the most, not only as individuals but in our relationship too.  I don’t know if I would have survived losing Noah if it wasn’t for you by my side, making me walk forward each day and carrying me on the days when I just couldn’t put my one foot in front of the other.  Thank you for saving me.

Thank you for showing me the beauty and blessings that are still abundant in life, even after such heartbreaking loss.  I smile each day now knowing that our life is so wonderful because of the four actively wild and crazy (healthy) kiddos we get to parent here in this life, now.

Thank you for building this life together with me.  Thank you for being willing to journey on a path of unknown for riding alongside of me with my crazy and adamant ways.  Thanks for saying yes when I know you want to say no.  Thank you for always calming my fears, my silly worries and for telling me it’s all going to be alright, even when you’re unsure yourself.

The past 14 years have truly been a journey.  A journey we promised to take together, through good times and bad, in sickness and in health, for richer and for poorer…. we’ve experienced them all.  And boy haven’t they been great?  You’re still my best friend I married 14 years ago and I’m even more in love with you today than back then. 

Thanks for being my everything and giving me everything I wanted out of life.  You made me a wife, partnered with me to become a mother, supported my personal goals and  continue to stand by me through it all.  I love you Jarrett and wish you a very special anniversary.  Our wedding 14 years ago was sure a lot of fun and while tonight we won’t be doing anything like the dancing and celebration we did back then, I’ll still enjoy sitting around the full table with you and our four kiddos who will no doubt be trying to talk at the same time and fighting when they’re not talking.  Let’s promise to just sit back and take it all in for a moment.  For we’ve come a long way baby to get to this point and as busy and hectic and overwhelming as it sometimes is, I wouldn’t trade it for a second.

Love you always

Happy Anniversary,

-Your-middle-aged, still frizzy hair-sweatpants-wearing-wife

Angie