Worried....

It is amazing how much we all have fallen in love with Isabelle.  It isn't just me, it is all of us.  Jarrett, Gabriel, Michael and even Jack.  We've got it...Isabelle fever. This little girl has all of our hearts wrapped around her.  I've stopped counting the number of times each day, we say we love her.  The boys can be busy playing with something and all of a sudden stop, walk over to Isabelle, kiss her softly and tell her they love her.  It happens multiple times a day.  And each night for the last several days, before bed, Michael professes his love again.  "Mom Dad, I really love Baby Belle." 

And the love for her stretches farther.  Our extended family members and friends have shown her a great amount of love and it is obvious this little 8 lb bundle of wonderful, has some magic power that makes everyone enchanched and in love from the moment they meet her.

And that is why, tonight I'm worried.  Jarrett and I are asking for your prayers tonight.  We knew from day one that nothing with her coming to live with us, was certain, 100% set in stone, until after the judge declares her officially ours and seals her adoption complete.  We knew that going in, there could be a chance an extended family member could come forward and ask to raise her.  And although that has not happened and we pray it doesn't, we did receive a call today from one of her many case workers telling us that they have to do their due diligence and try to find any extended biological family members.  Immediately my heart sank.

I keep asking myself why they have do to this and I'm not trying to blame them.  It isn't their fault.  They are just doing their jobs.  But the selfish side of me thinks... "Can't you see how much she is loved, how much she is thriving, how wondeful her life will be if (when) she gets to stay with us forever?" The case worker tried to be reassuring, but to be honest, it has made me a nervous wreck.  I can't stop staring at her and I continiously pray that God will help us get through this and allow her to be with us forever. I can't even imagine what the alternative ending of this story could look like, it is too painful for me to think about, so when it comes into my mind, I try with all of my might to push it aside as I wipe tears of worry away.

So tonight I ask for your help.  If you would please say a prayer for us and for Baby Isabelle that we can and will remain a forever family.  We can't imagine out life without her and we need for her to stay with us.

We believe in the power of prayer and thank you for your continued support.

We love you Baby Isabelle.  Your entire family does.

Mommy, Daddy, Gabriel and Michael

His most recent decision...

Gabriel LOVES sports. I think it is clear within the first few minutes of meeting him.  If there is a ball within 100 yards of him, he immediately spots it, seeks it out and claims it has his own (at least to play with for as long as he can). 

Most afternoons after school and homework is done, Gabriel goes to the backyard and practices playing some sort of sport that involves a ball. In fact for the last 8 months to a year, Gabriel has repeatedly been telling us that when he grows up he is going to play sports in college and then become an Arizona Diamondback followed by an Arizona Cardinal football play and then he'll play for the Suns. Jarrett and I smile and secretly hope he actually does it, we may be able to retire before we are 110.

So back to the backyard.  In the last few weeks we've noticed that Gabriel has been adding in some unique exercises to his normal routine.  Usually throwing the ball up and then trying to run and catch it himself, the other day I looked in the backyard to see Gabriel hula-hooping and holding a ball.  I watched for a few minutes and smiled as I then saw him begin to hula again, followed quickly by tossing the ball up in the air, while still hula-ing and quickly move across the yard to catch the ball.  Honestly, although he didnt' see me watching him, I have to admit I was impressed.    No more than 15 minutes later after several practice attempts, Gabriel burst through the back door and declared that I needed to come watch him perform his new trick.

I obliged and to the back yard we went.  Moments later I was bursting out in laughter as I watched my son hula-hoop and throw/catch balls in his baseball glove all at the same time.  Then later that evening when Dad came home, he insisted on putting on a show for all of us again.  We thought it was pretty funny and impressive.

And just this past weekend, all of us were in the car driving, when suddenly and out of the blue Gabriel confessed, "Mom and Dad, I'm not going to go to college and play sports, instead Mom and Dad, I'm going to join the circus so I can do my tricks and make people laugh." 

Until next time,
Angie

Some of the many things I love about her...

In the last three weeks of bonding with Isabelle the list of reasons why I love her is just as long as the many reasons why I love our boys. 

Some of my favorite things about her are:

• The funny faces she makes.  She has the pirate look:  which is when she opens one eye while keeping the other closed and then makes a 1/2 smile/smurk with her lips that makes me think she is about to say, "ARRRR mateys"
• The way she smells.  Although it sounds strange she smells like complete innocence and 100% love.  I know, you've think I've gone crazy. Innoncence and love do not have a smell, but if you could smelle her, you'd soon find out, they actually do have a scent.  Her smell is sweet and clean and well, perfect. 
• I love her cry.  Although she doesn't cry all that often, I love how it can be so loud, even though she is so small.  I love how even though I can be in the deepest sleep, I awake and the instant of her first peep. 
• I love that she knows how to scream.  She started it at about 9 days old.  Although she still has a newborn baby cry, she has decided to show us that when she speaks, she like her mom, wants a response immediately.  She yells out a screech that sounds like a cat meowing in her highest octive possible.
• I love that she has big feet and long fingers.  I think she's going to be very tall, given the size of her baby feet.  Now I picture her as a teenager towering over her 5'3'' mom. 
• I love her eyes.  I love the moments when we are sitting in the rocking chair and spend minutes staring into each others eyes.  I've studied them.  They are a beautiful blue with a darker color around the outside and a lighter blue in the center.  When she is wide awake, her eyes seem as big as the moon. 
• I love how she reacts when the boys love on her.  It melts my heart as Michael sings songs to her and tells her he loves her.  As he talks to her, she can have her eyes closed and then immediately look at him and star into his eyes with complete admiration.
• I love how she gets the hickups two, three even four times a day.  And as she gets mad that she has them, she clamps her fists and puts them up my her mouth as if to say, "stop it"
• I love how she looks at Jarrett.  He curls up into his chest and snuggles with him as if to say, "I love you daddy and when he talks she admires his facial features and is completely mezmorized.
• I love when I have her so close to me as I hold her that I can feel her each and every breath. 
• I love that to me she will always be a miracle.  She is truly a gift from God and a miracle to us in every way.

I love her.

Until next time,
angie

MaeLyn and Aaron came to town...

Last Friday night my youngest sister MaeLyn and her boyfriend Aaron came to visit and to meet Baby Isabelle.  It was wonderful having them here and we all had a lot of fun playing together. 

The boys LOVED playing in Aaron's chair...

 And spending time with Aunt MaeLyn...

 It wasn't even 12 hours after MaeLyn and Aaron arrived that Gabriel insisted they play baseball with him.  Here, Aaron is at bat...

 Pretty good if I do say so myself...

 Aaron showing us where the force behind his swing comes from...

 And then it was Gabriel's turn to bat, I think he called all time batter, because I never saw him change positions after this...

Meanwhile Michael filled his shoes with rocks and dirt...

and although I can't post pictures, there was a lot of time spent bonding with Baby girl Belle.  I think she fell in love with them as much as they fell in love with her. 

We can't wait for MaeLyn and Aaron to come visit again.

Until next time,
Angie

Welcome to our "chaos", oops I mean "home."

When we told people about Isabelle coming into our lives, the overwhelming comment we received was, "Wow, you guys are going to be busy."

Now that we are officially three weeks into our life as a family of 5 plus one dog, I can officially say, everyone was correct.

The truth is Isabelle has been eating about every  three to four hours.  For newborns, I understand that that isn't really that bad.  In the last two days even she's been spreading out her feedings to be almost 4 hours.  During the first and second weeks, I honestly felt like all I was doing was feeding her, burping her, changing her diaper, trying to squeeze a load of laundry in between and then scrambling to figure out what meal to make for the other members of my family.  My to do list continued to grow as the number of items I'd cross of it continued to shrink.

As I sit here, holding Isabelle and typing this, the laundry is piled high, the dishes are waiting patiently to be unloaded and reloaded from the dishwasher, the dust bunnies are turning into full grown rabbits and the floor... well, lets just say I'm telling everyone to keep their shoes on when they visit.  The house in my terms is a disaster, even though Jarrett says it isn't that bad. :-)  I think he's trying to be supportive at any cost, even if it means he has to tell a little white lie.

We are still in the beginning stages of putting together Isabelle's room.  If you'd visit our house, you'd wonder where her room is going to be, because looking at it, it still looks like a guest room, only with a few boxes of diapers in the corner on the floor and girl clothes spilling out of the closet.  And although her room doesn't look like she lives there, the rest of the house does.  Isabelle's stuff is scattered in every room.  Who knew someone so small needed so much stuff. 

Now that I've been honest and upfront about how things are looking around here, you might be thinking well that's not so bad.  I'm just explaining what the house looks like when everyone is gone for the day.  After school, this house turns into something out of the movie from "Cheaper by the Dozen."  The boys come flying into the house with their shoes still on, because I forgot to remind them to take them off in the garage.  Only to then kick their shoes off, one which is full of sand and the others' which is full of wood chips spills onto the floor.  Then, their the trail of destruction they leave, almost like the bread crumb trail Hansel and Gretel left in the old fairy tail.  As if the boys would forget how to get from the garage to the bathroom to the kitchen to the living room to the back yard and then back into the house.  With jackets, school papers backpacks, snack wrappers, gloves, bike helmets, toys and clothes... it is a trail that repeats itself each day.

Oh and let me not forget to add in the noise level.  While it is just Isabelle, Jack and I here at home, the noise level is pretty quiet.  Upon the door opening and the boys walking through the threshold, the noise volume quadruples.  They have only one excited level of volume as they blow into the house... loud.  "HI MOM, I"M HOME!"  "HI BABY BELLE!"  "MOM I"M HUNGRY... CAN I HAVE CANDY?"  and so on.  After a quick snack, we delve into homework which I attempt to assist with while making dinner. 

From homework to short playtime, dinner time, reading and bed, the few hours we are all together as a family are completely 100% chaotic and you know what...

I love it.
I love it.
I'll say it again, I love it.  As the craziness spins around me and it feels sometimes like we are in a windstorm being sucked one way and then the other, I am reminded that God has granted me the life I've long to have since I was a little girl.  Honestly, I love it.

Don't get me wrong.  Sometimes I get overwhelmed. When it is 5:30 p.m. and the boys are both needing my help with homework, the dinner is boiling over, Jarrett's calling me to help him look something up in the office and Isabelle has decided she wants to eat 5 minutes ago and is letting me know she's not happy, it can and is overwhelming.  And although I'm far from perfect, I make a million mistakes a day, I have to admit that I'd be completely disappointed if I never got to experience the wonderfulness that our chaos brings us.

So when I was trying to decide what house cleaning task to tackle first, I decided instead to just blog about our mess.  Because I've decided I could spend 30 minutes wiping the fingerprints off the glass end table, dusting the living room and bedrooms, and tackle cleaning the bathrooms, but probably by tomorrow morning, I'd be sitting back looking at the dust, fingerprints and toothpaste covered sink staring me back in the eye.  Instead, I'll just take 30 minutes for myself and recount just how wonderful chaos can be.

Until next time,
Angie

Valentines Day...

Although Isabelle is what we are considering our Valentines Day gift, I must admit this year I was spoiled and received multiple gifts.

Michael was very excited to come home from school on Valentines day with two presents for his mom.
In fact he was so excited he couldn't wait for mom to open the gift, he decided to do it for me.  And when I opened his card and gift I was very happily surprised.

Here is Michael showing me what he made...

The front of the card reads, "If I could be anything..." and the inside says, "I'd be your valentine!"
Isn't that so sweet.

I love you too Michael!

Gabriel admiring the nice picture and frame Michael made for me.

And then to top it off, Michael gave me flowers in a homemade vase/cup.  On the cup he wrote, "I love you Mommy!"  I can't wait to take my flowers to work so I can proudly display how affectionate and loving my youngest boy is.

It was a wonderful Valentines day!

Until next time,
Angie

Catch up....

There has been so much that has happened in the past two weeks that I can hardly believe it is now March 1.  In my mind it should be Februrary 10.  Wow, has time flown by.

I'll try in the next few quick posts to give an update on some of the things that have been happening around here...

Stay tuned...
Angie