Today, as I'm sure the entire country knows, is the start of College Football Saturday. Over the last few years, we've grown to love spending hours watching different college football teams play. We don't have cable, so its good old antenna TV for us. It isn't like we get to pick which team we "want" to watch, we just watch what ever is on. Still, it is fun.
In the last few weeks I have vacillated between wanting the weeks to pass quickly and yet in the same moment, wanting time to stop so I can just figure out how to move forward. Surprisingly, today I felt it was okay begin something again, to try and see the sun.
Today was a nice day for our family. Jarrett spent the entire day home with us and we just spent time spending time. Dad took the boys to the Home Depot building project and each of the boys built a tailgate corn hole game. Isabelle and I stayed home, baked and then worked on letters. She's still trying to figure out if she's gonna be a lefty or like everyone else in the family except me... a righty. I bet you can guess what team I'm rooting her to be on? It was fun though to watch her write her letters and it amazes me all that she knows already.
This afternoon we spent time watching football, painting fingernails, making dinner and playing football.
Isabelle and I were practicing doing our nails with rainbow fingernail polish, for the Noah's Kindness Project weekend.
Dad, despite his distaste for anything related to painting nails, took off Isabelle's old polish. It was clear it was the first time he had ever done that in his life. His first attempt at getting the polish off (he didn't have enough remover on the cotton ball), he turned to me and said, "How does this stuff work anyway?" He figured it out.
Meanwhile the boys decided they had better dress up in their full football gear, just in case one of the players was gonna leap out of the TV and they needed to be tackled. They look pretty tough don't they?
After we watched BYU clinch the last second win over Nebraska, we decided it was time to go outside and enjoy our wonderful almost fall weather. It was only about 95 today and boy was it a nice change...
While Dad and Gabriel played catch, the rest of us sat and watched them.
Even though it was only 95 out, Gabriel was drenched when he finally stopped playing. Not that he cared or gave it a second thought.
Before we came in, I ask them all to stand together for a family shot. And in my mind, I thought Noah I hope your around here with us. While I continue to put one foot in front of the other and live our new life, Noah is on my mind constantly. I think of him literally every single minute of every single day. And I admit, now when I take a picture of our family, I always feel like it is not complete. I don't know if I will ever look at a family picture of us again, and not feel some bit of sadness.... for our littlest angel... is absent. It continues to leave my heart in pieces.
While we are learning to adjust to a life without Noah here, I find each day to be an unknown. Some day's the grief is still very over whelming and I worry I will never find joy again. Most days I still feel like a shell of a person, walking around this world without happiness, or care, or hope. It is on these days, when I do what I need to do for my kids, for Jarrett.
And then there are days like today. When I think of Noah, and still miss him with every ounce of my body. But somehow I am able to be in the moment. I try to be "present" with the kids, rather than just following through with my given responsibilities. Today was one of those days.
Tonight after dinner, I turned on my phone and we played what Isabelle has deemed Baby Noah's song.."Stand Up and Dance with Me" and for the first time since this whole nightmare started, we danced in the kitchen, as a family. We were silly, we looked crazy, we let it all hang loose and the kids loved it. As our mini-dance party took over the house, and music bounced off the walls, I wondered if Noah was looking down and smiling. I know he wouldn't want us to live with unbearable grief for the rest of our life. I know we wants to see us happy. I believe he would want to see happy times fill our house again... and so I try. I try to find a way to smile and mean it from inside my heart. I try to find a way to live this life with happiness and joy.
I'm adjusting. We are adjusting. It is not easy. It has been very very hard. But we are trying. We are learning how to adjust to this new life that stands in front of us.
Calling all runners, all walkers, kids, and us kids-at-heart... Get your running or walking shoes
ready… Join us as we participate in the Run Against
Trafficking (R.A.T. Race) on Saturday, October 3
I'll be honest, I hadn't really heard about trafficking (also known as sex trafficking) happening all that often here in the United States. It wasn't until last year, when the Super Bowl was held here in town that I started to see news reports, articles in magazines and this event, gaining publicity and awareness. See not only is there all the hype, money and excitement a super bowl brings to town, but sadly, it also brings with it ... human trafficking.
Jarrett and I selected this event to be a part of our Noah's Kindness Project because it is something we hadn't normally supported, donated to, or connected ourselves with. And one of our goals by creating this day was to do something above and beyond our usual ways to give back to the community.
And now that I've taken the time to look into the staggering statistics about human trafficking, and yes, it is a very huge problem in our country, I am glad we can give back by helping to raise awareness, generate funds, and possible help some young girl (or boy) on the streets tonight being forced to do things we don't want to dream about, get a new life.
Here are some very scary but real statistic given to me today by one of the race organizers...
100,000 American children are victims of domestic human trafficking each year in the U.S.(National Human Trafficking)
The average age a teen enters into the sex trade in Arizona is 14 years old. Phoenix law enforcement officers report they have helped girls as young as 9 who were sold for sex. (Phoenix Police Department)
The FBI reports that once a child is trafficked, the average life expectancy of that child is 7 years, mostly caused by homicides or HIV/AIDS. (FBI)
As many as 2.8 million children run away each year in the U.S. (National Center for Missing and Exploited Children).
One out of every three teens on the street will be lured into prostitution within 48 hours of leaving home (National Runaway Switchboard).
I said "scary" and I was right. I share these statistics not to frighten, but to help spread the message that this is a huge problem within our country, its in each of our communities and its time to help do something about it.
The mission of the Run Against Trafficking is to raise awareness for organizations working to end sex trafficking in Arizona.
So that's what we are going to do...
We will be starting out our day filled with activities by participating in the 5k run/walk will be held in
Riverview Park in Mesa, Arizona- adjacent to the Cubs Spring Training Facility
beginning at 8 a.m. for the run and 8:30 a.m. for the walk. By signing up and paying the $30.00 registration fee, not only are you doing something to help yourself (by getting out and exercising) but you are helping to rescue those whose lives are on the line daily.
Please join our team, “Noah’s Kindness
Project” and come get your sweat on as we walk or run to help local
victims.
Please CLICK HERE to
sign up and join Noah's Kindness Project team.
We plan to wear our Noah's Kindness Project t-shirts and meet at the Noah’s Kindness Project booth
that between 7:30-7:45 a.m. that morning so we can run or walk together.
If you don't feel like walking or running in the race, but still want to participate, the event managers have graciously agreed to let us have a booth to talk about Noah's Kindness Project and to encourage others to help spread the message about sharing kindness with the world. If you'd like to help staff the booth and hand out kindness cards, talk about our little amazing Noah and his legacy, we'd love your help. If you'd like to participate by staffing the booth, leave a comment or reach out to me and we can coordinate details.
Otherwise, please come and join our team. If you've always wanted to participate in an event like this, or if you've done a thousand, we hope you'll consider joining us for this important charity event. We will have both runners and walkers so, I promise ... you won't participate alone!
In the coming days I will be sharing with you each of the acts of kindness we plan to perform on October 3rd. We've spent a great deal of time trying to put together acts of kindness that are different, all important and will give us an opportunity to do something for others that can help make their lives better, even if its just for a little bit.
So here's the first activity we invite you to participate with us in...
1) Noah's Kindness Project t-shirts.
Purchase a t-shirt to wear as you participate
in Noah’s Kindness Project.Wear it on
October 3 or any day of the year for that matter.Remember the legacy of kindness Noah helped
to create, and share a piece of yourself through kindness with the rest of the
world.The t-shirts will be made by
TumbleTee’s, a local, youth-in-business social enterprise with a vision to
provide quality screen printing services to the community while giving homeless
youth leadership skills and gainful employment. Think about this... Tonight
in Phoenix alone, more than 650 youth will seek shelter on the streets. Tomorrow night will look exactly the same
unless something changes.
Purchase
a t-shirt to celebrate Noah’s Kindness Project, while also helping homeless
youth find purpose through meaningful employment.
Our t-shirts for Noah's Kindness Project for this year will look like...
The high quality t-shirts will be ordered in men's, women's and even children's sizes and will cost approximately $10-12. The final t-shirt order will be placed on Wednesday, September 16th, so order your t-shirt now! T-shirts will be distributed the week of September 28th.
If you'd like to learn more about how getting your Noah's Kindness Project t-shirt can help others, and more information on TumbleTees please visit:
http://tumbletees.com/
To place an order for one of our Noah's Kindness t-shirts pleaseCLICKHERE.
Please remember to submit your order before September 16th. And you don't have to be in Arizona to get a t-shirt. We'd gladly mail a t-shirt to you, where ever you live!
Thank you for your support and please let me know if you have any questions.
Last night one of my friends, sent me the link to a story about a person asking for help online about how to deal with grief. She shared that one of the responses received gave a completely different perspective about how to deal with grief. I clicked right away and was really curious about what it was going to say.
See I've heard my share of
The best way to get through grief is to just give it time.
You have to move on for the sake of your kids. They need you.
He will always be with you.
God has a bigger plan for this, we don't understand but he knows what he's doing.
And on and on and on.
To each of the justifications for how or why I should get through grief, I have a response.
The best way to get through grief is to just give it time.
I'm not really interested in letting time pass, unless that means I can go back in time and redo everything so that I can bring my son home in my arms. I'm not too interested in the reality that I have to suffer for many long days, months, years in order to feel better.
You have to move on for the sake of your kids. They need you
You're right, they do need me, but I can't move on just for the sake of moving on. There's no forgetting about, pushing it down, forgetting about any of the things that happened regarding Noah's presence in our life. He will always be a part of who I am and so I'm not "moving on." I'm learning how to live without him here.
He will always be with you.
This week, this statement doesn't bother me as much, but a couple of weeks ago, Then, I would have completely disagreed. There are some days when I feel him, his spirit, his presence close to me. This week, he has made his presence known. From the rainbow next to his picture
, to the rainbow that appeared today in the boy's room while Michael was playing. And the gentle ringing from the chimes, given in his memory, that peacefully dinged throughout our family dinner tonight. It was calming almost as if Noah's was saying, "I'm here with you." These things bring me great peace.
But sometimes I can't feel him, I feel like he has left us, left me and my heart aches with great pain. I don't know how to describe it, and I'm pretty sure, prior to this whole thing happening, if I would have heard myself talking like this, I might have thought I was drinking a little too much wine. But now its different, its like I can see and feel things I never use to be able to. Perhaps that's one of the experiences that comes along with losing a child. I can tell when he is near.
And it hurts a lot when I can't feel or see signs that he is near.
God has a bigger plan for this, we don't understand but he knows what he's doing.
This is perhaps the statement I have the most frustration with. I trust God. I always have, but this experience has shaken my faith. When I hear someone share with me, that the reason for this happening is because of God's bigger plan, it makes me feel like Noah was taken from me because of my inadequacies in being able to parent him, or parent four children. Like I wasn't good enough, worthy enough, or even a good enough mother to have him. That's how it makes me feel.
And so I struggle with believing Noah's passing was because of God's bigger plan. Maybe if he would have given me a chance to be Noah's mom here on earth, outside of those NICU walls, I could have proven how worthy I was to have my son stay in my arms. And so it bothers me. Was God's plan the best, I have to trust that it was, but that doesn't make me feel any better in the fact I don't get to hold my baby in my arms.
So I try to move through this process of grieving... some days I see more of the sun and other days I can see nothing but dark dreary skies. I worry, if I'll ever find myself again, the person who optimistically charged through life, believing good things will come to you, if you put good things out into the world. I've learned, that most of the time that is true, but there's still bad things that happen. This is one of those bad things, I have to live through.
And so, when I received Tara's email, I couldn't wait to see what the different response toward grieving was. Maybe this held a unique perspective, I could think about as I struggle to get through many different points in my day. I clicked on the link...
As I read it, I thought about my grandfather. At 90 years young (and he really is young because he keeps up like he's 45), I thought about all the losses he's experienced in his life. His father, his friends in the war, his grandparents, his mother, his beloved wife of 60 years, his siblings, his friends from later in life, now his great-grandson he never got to meet, and many more I'm sure I've neglected to include. And I sat here and thought... how blessed have I been to only have weathered this horrible hurricane of waves a couple of times.
I've lost grandparents, some classmates when we were in middle school, and now my son. While losing Noah cuts so deeply, how blessed have I been to have not had lost like so many others have. Today, I met with another friend, who confided with me that she too had lost a baby at 28 weeks, her baby boy named Jonathan. And then only a few years later she lost her husband. My heart ached for her as she shared the story of her losses. And then a few hours later, I met another friend who talked about getting her first tattoo, even though she wasn't too excited about tattoos, but wanted to see her mom's name written one more time.
Sitting here tonight, I've reflected on the fact that losing our loved ones is a reality in this gift we call life. We all, at some point, are going to experience loss. And losing that loved one is really gonna hurt. Its gonna leave scars and sometimes it may feel like the huge gaping wound you are left with after their death, isn't gonna heal. Sometimes I worry about that with losing Noah, but then I talk with some of you, I see first hand the tears you try to hold back in your eyes as you talk about your precious baby in Jesus' arms, or the letters you've saved from your mom. And I think, back to what this person above shared in their perspective of grief... "If the scar is deep, the love was also deep. "
You know what, I think he's right. The scars are tough and they hold us back together. And sometimes they are not pretty. But would I have wanted to trade this gaping wound that will hopefully someday form a scar, in exchange for the time, the joy, the love my son gave me... never. Absolutely never. The happiness, the joy, the love I felt as Noah moved around inside me, was greater than any amount of pain and sadness I feel now.
He was worth every single 100 foot wave I have endue. The perspective shared in the message above, really does speak to me. I do feel like our ship was thrown upon the rocky shore and broke into hundreds of tiny pieces. Some days I feel like the piece of wood I cling to is too small and I struggle to keep my head above water before the next wave comes. And then there have been days, more recent now, that I feel the time between the waves increases, I can see the sun light peering through the hurricane clouds, and I have time to prepare for the next wave of emotion crashing into me. I do no know what the future of this storm looks like, but if what this person above says is true, this is a storm, I'm gonna get experience in riding. I'm gonna build up some pretty strong swimming legs, and I'm gonna get use to the taste of the salty, unsatisfying water.
Its not the easy way to live, but if it means I get to feel deep love, care and be cared for by those I love... than I'll ride this storm, I'll tread the troubled waters of grief, and I'll keep searching for the part in the clouds as the sun starts to shine more and more.
I'll do the best that I can to find the other side of grief, for I hope that means someday I'll get to have my fourth child, my third son wrapped in my arms. For the promise in Heaven is that we get to rest from the storms, and live in pure glory.
That sounds like a pretty good reason to keep swimming to me.
For those who would like to participate in Noah's Kindness Projects, we've printed up small cards to share with people you do an act of kindness for. They can be left with your tip at a restaurant, asked to be handed to the person behind you in the drive through after you pay for their breakfast, or simply shared with someone as you gift them with your kindness.
We've printed up many of these to share with you who are interested in participating. For those in or near our hometown back in Iowa, if you'd like to have some cards to share, you can pick them up from the office at New Hampton Transfer & Storage, or you can contact my sister, Megan and she will help to mail you some.
For those in Arizona that would like to participate, I will have cards to share with you right after Labor Day.
Or the other option, if you'd like to start using them now is to contact me and I'll email you a PDF version of the card or visit our Noah's Kindness Project Facebook group online to download the PDF. This is for those who are around the country that would like to participate.
Here is a preview of what the cards look like...
Tomorrow it will be 2 months since Noah's heart stopped beating as I held him in my arms. It will be two months tomorrow morning that part of my heart left my body and went with my son. I miss him so terribly some days, the heart ache and sadness consume my every thought. If tears shed could bring him back, I think we've shed enough tears, I know he'd be back in our arms.
While Noah never was carried through the threshold and into our home, our house seems partially empty now. I keep dreaming about what it would have been like to bring him home in 6 weeks from now. Instead, it means six more weeks of sunsets, when I look into they sky, and pray for a sign from my baby that he is still with us.
As hard as some days are, it seems to be those days, when we are so graciously reminded of the love and care so many of you have shown for us. I know we'll never be able to repay you all, so I try to repeat over and over just how thankful we are. It is because of so many of you, we try to carry on, the best we know how, one foot in front of the other.
And while we appreciate every single act of kindness, every single prayer or thought sent to us, every card, every text and every loving message you share, there have been some acts that take my breath away. And one of those moments happened just recently in our house.... thanks in part to one of you.
I arrived home on Friday afternoon and went to the front door and found a package. It was an over-sized envelope addressed to me, with no return address. I walked inside, and stood at the front table and carefully opened the package. Inside was a book. I took it out and found this...
I looked back at the envelope to see who it was from. With no answer, I turned back to see what was inside. I opened the front cover....
I read it, and I cried. I knew it was from Noah.
As I read the words along the page, I reached with my hand for the chair, never letting my eyes leave the page. I sat down as tears streamed down my face.
I read each and every word, savoring the message my son had written to me. Strangely enough, I felt like I could hear his voice (or what I imagine his voice would have sounded like) in my head. My broken heart wept with happiness at the gift I was getting to experience.
When I got to this page, I sobbed. I carefully set the book down on the table and let my head fall into my hands. Our song, our special song, I sang to him over and over in the NICU. His heart beating with mine, at night, when I can't sleep, I often hear his heart beating... its the sounds I heard every morning and night as I laid in that hospital bed hooked up to the monitors. The pictures so perfectly drawn to capture exactly what I longed to experience. I sobbed, for once again, I had felt a rush of peace... the peace I have to believe that brings us healing.
When I had composed myself enough to wipe away the tears and see the pages, I turned again.
Looking at Dad's picture and reading about what Dad feels, I smiled. The book so clearly outlined how Dad feels but often times keeps inside. I'm so thankful Noah sits on his shoulder and reminds him "it's going to be okay."
And when I got to this page, I rubbed my finger over and over the littlest one sitting between his grandparents. It reminded me of the last few days in the NICU, how our parents sat directly across from bed 50 (Noah's bed) and kept a careful watch on him, and on us. I know Noah knew they were there in his final hours and I am sure he's with them as they walk this difficult sadness in losing a grandchild too.
When I got to the page about Gabriel, I knew he'd be so proud to see the page written about baseball... not because of his love of the sport, but because Gabriel was so excited to teach his brother how to play. Later that evening, when we all read the book for the first time, I saw Gabriel's eyes light up with happiness and then fill with water. The book spoke to his heart too... and how much love he had for his littlest brother... the one he never got to teach how to play, but the one who sits in his heart, watching from the best seat in the house.
Of all the pages in the book, the page about Noah's other brother Michael, spoke the most to me. Of all the sadness and heartache that losing him has caused, there has been one good thing that has come from it. Michael's level of affection and display of love has increased ten fold. Michael and I are probably the most alike in that we are stubborn and sometimes that means see don't see eye to eye.
In reading that Noah sneaks in-between Michael and my hugs, I couldn't contain my emotions again. Noah has brought Michael and my relationship closer together. And in his spontaneous and now regular hugs of love, we both find comfort and common ground in expressing it. The emotions flow wildly thinking Noah could be in the middle sharing in our expression of love to one another. And that makes me feel happiness.
While I don't know what wonderfully amazing person made this book for us, I am so so so deeply grateful. Reading about Isabelle from Noah's perspective made me wonder how the story knows us so well. Each and every night I turn out Isabelle's light and turn on an Elsa light that shines into the sky with a picture of Elsa and stars on the ceiling. As we pray she talks about Baby Noah and on the very night we received this book, as I tucked her into bed, she said, "Mommy, baby Noah misses you." Out of the blue, I had said nothing, in fact we hadn't even said our prayers. I was pulling up her covers as she said it, and when I heard her say it, I stopped, looked down at her and said, "What honey?" She repeated it, "Mommy, Baby Noah misses you." I choked back tears. Kissed her on the forehead, and tried to say, "Honey, I miss him too. Tell Baby Noah, Mommy loves him." She turned on her side, snuggled with her blanket and said, "I love you Mommy, goodnight."
Immediately I thought of this page in the book that had brought me so much peace.
And then, as I turned the final page of the book, still sitting in the chair, I read this...
And every night for the past 60 nights, my last thoughts before going to bed have been this... "Good night Noah. Mommy loves you forever. I hope to see you tomorrow."
And I cried. The tears, like the fresh stream at the bottom of a snow capped mountain... the flowed freely. All that had been bottled up inside for the weeks, the days, the hours and the minutes since he left us... my son had sent us a message. And he sent it through one of you.
As soon as Jarrett got home and the kids were all together, we sat down as a family and I read the book to them. Everyone gathered around and sat and stood quietly (everyone, even Isabelle) was glued to the pages of the book as I read to them the story of our littlest one. I tried my best to hold back my tears of happiness as I read it with enthusiasm and joy. On the final page, I read, "Good night my family. See you tomorrow. I love you forever. Noah." and I closed the book. I looked up at Dad who had tears rolling down his face and then at the kids whose eyes were as wide as they are on Christmas morning. Michael asked, "Mom, did Noah send us this book from Heaven?" And Gabriel said, "This is my favorite book ever. It makes my heart feel so happy." Michael, wrapped his arms around me, as he now regularly does, said nothing until he pulled away and said, "Mom, I love that Noah is hugging with us, when we hug." Isabelle jumped up and down saying "Baby Noah, Baby Noah, I love Baby Noah." and together all of us, rejoiced in the gift that a stranger, an angel here on earth, had given.
The kids love the book as much as Jarrett and I do.
Each and everyday, we have read "The Littlest One" countless times. It sits on the shelf in between our living room and kitchen and it is one of our favorite treasures. The kids have the book pretty much memorized by now but each time they read it, I see their eyes light up. This precious book has given me glimpses into what our lives could have been like if Noah would have stayed here. I can picture nights with all four kids sitting on the couch reading books together, and because of this book... in a way, we can still have that experience together.
Who ever out there created this masterpiece for us and for our family, I want you to know you've given us something wonderful, so great words cannot fully describe. You've given us peace in hearing Noah's perspective of how he sees us, how wonderful his life from above looking down seems to be... you've given us something that brings us all together, to share... to reflect on the love we lost, but also the love we still have.
It has been 60 days since we said goodbye to our littlest angel. Sixty days I wish more than anything I could go back to have a different ending. But we can't go back, we can only go forward, and the gift you've given us, helps us do just that. You've given us the story of us, written from the perspective our precious son. When Noah went to Heaven, I thought hearing his voice, listening to his story of his life, was one more thing I had seen perish in front of me. But thanks to you, it didn't. Thanks to you, we all get to hear Noah's story... written from his own point of view. The point of view from our littlest one. And boy is it one great story.
Thank you so much.
Good night my precious baby. Mommy loves you forever. I miss you always. I love you always, and I hope to see you tomorrow
We are actively working to plan details for October 3 and we've been so thankful for the positive responses so many of you have shared with us regarding the manner we hope to honor our son. We again are so thankful for your support.
Yesterday I spent most of the day putting together a schedule and writing out the details of the 12 acts of kindness we plan to do on the day Noah was suppose to be joining our family. I have a few more details to narrow down and then (hopefully by the end of the week), I will post information about what we will do. For those in the valley we invite and would love for as many people as possible to join us during the day. Come to join in one service activity, come for two, or join us for the entire day. We welcome all!
Today, I really feel like Noah's Kindness Project gained some steam as we began physically working on the items we will give to the NICU for other families to have. Nana and Papa came over right after church this morning and we got started on making scent cloths.
When Noah was in the NICU, I was given cloths to wear on my body so my scent would be passed onto it. Then I'd place that cloth next to him or over his face so he would find comfort in knowing I was near. Noah's nurses shared with me how important the scent cloths were and willingly provided me with plenty to take home and use.
Not only was the scent cloth a benefit for Noah, but it was also something I grew to cherish... for a couple of reasons. One, was that as a mom in the NICU, there's a feeling of helplessness in the situation. I wanted to do anything and everything I could to help Noah and when I was given the scent cloths, it was actually something I could do to help. I was very diligent in wearing them, switching them out, and it brought me a lot of comfort and happiness knowing my scent was bringing Noah the same feeling.
The other reason why I loved the scent cloth was because when it was time to switch out Noah's cloth, they would put in my new cloth and I would get to have the one that had been resting on his head, or near his arm, against his cheek. And guess what.... his scent had been transferred onto the cloth and I got to smell him. The first time I got to take home his scent cloth, I smelled it the entire drive home. It made my insides swell with love. I placed his cloth on my pillow that night and I slept with the feeling that he was with me. It meant so much to me.
And so, when we talked about wanting to do an acts of kindness day in Noah's honor, one of the first things I thought of was the scent cloths and how much they meant to me.
Today Nana helped (okay, actually she did almost all the work) us to make heart shaped scent cloths to share with other NICU moms. We got right to work and got 45 made today. I hope in the next couple of weeks, we will get the rest done. So far, I'm super excited with how they turned out, and the fact that we made them into the shape of a heart, will be unique and the staff will remember they are from Noah and his family.
Here's a quick preview for how things are coming together.
Nana and Isabelle hard at work
Our work in progress...
.
Our stack to be made still
And our work in progress. The blue sleeping bag featured above is an act of love Nana made for Noah to go to his forever home in. Its called a snuggle sack and as a mom, I wanted to make sure Noah always felt warm and snuggled. Nana is very talented in putting such a precious gift together in less than a half hour. She plans to make these to donate to the NICU as well. Sadly, we are not the first family to have to say goodbye to our precious baby, and we, unfortunately, will not be the last. We never had time to go get clothes for Noah, but thankfully there were families that had donated items for him previously that he go to use. Hopefully these snuggle sacks can provide comfort like so many families provided us through their donation.
And with our donation of the snuggle sacks and the heart shaped scent cloths, we plan to include the following poem. It will hopefully bring love and happiness to the families in the NICU, just as we were given during our time there.
So were building steam, and getting ready for October. It makes me feel good to know we are hopefully doings things that can directly benefit another family going through a very stressful time.
I'm thankful for Nana and Papa's help and for their assistance in getting thing started.
Today as we were working, rainbows filled our house and it made me think Noah had to be looking down and happy that goodness can come from our sadness in missing him.
