More ASU Open Door Fun.

My family has become big fans of ASU's Open Door and this past weekend we went to our 4th Open Door for the year.  Yes we are that family that goes to all of them.  My kids LOVE to see all the cool stuff that happens at college (thankfully just the PG stuff) and getting a bunch of free swag is a bonus too.  This past weekend we went to the Tempe one and we let the boys take a friend with them.

Jarrett and I put on our big adult pants and took 6 kids to college.

Here's Madelyn with her bag telling us to get in the car!

 The kids made message in a bottle.  Here's Gabriel with his friend.

And Michael and his friend.  

They got to pose in front of a green screen and "visit" some cool places.

Learning about something fun... I was too busy chasing Madelyn to hear what it was about.

Madelyn reading the sign... Yep we are at the right place.

Michael was waiting in line to hold a huge cockroach... his motivation?  Getting to have soda at the restaurant after we left.  I tell you the kid will do anything for a soda! 

Next we were on to visit the snakes.  Gabriel had to be brave and show his friend M that he wasn't scared.  

She wasn't too thrilled to be touching it

Then it was Michael's turn.

Isabelle wasn't afraid either.  She wanted to hold it multiple times.  With her plans to become a Veterinarian someday, I'm glad she's not afraid.   

And then we had to of course stop and get our picture taken with Sparky.

There were a few pit stops to let Madelyn rest... lots of walking and while we had the stroller, it was just used to store things.

At this exhibit we watched an underwater camera perform tasks.

One of my favorite parts was this colorful chalk mural that the little girls loved to play and add onto.

Here's Madelyn waving bye to every single person who passed through on the way to the parking lot.  

To end our visit, brrrrr it was cold.  The kids (and dad) participated in an obstacle race. 

Oh and Madelyn refused to keep her coat on, so I tried my best to chase her around and put it back on.  Here Dad caught her.

It sure was fun and the kids will look forward to it next year. 

We successfully took 6 kids to college and we ended up safely returning 6 kids home too.  Except one seems to resemble Sparky.

Until next time,

Angie

Yeah I'd definitely win a competition.

Yesterday on the way home from school, Michael clearly had to go to the bathroom.  Before we even made it to the closest major intersection from his school he had asked the following questions:

Mom are we going straight home?

How far is our home from school?
Do you think you could find a faster way home?

I can't wait to get home, what about you Isabelle?

I knew the reason why.  Him fidgeting every 20 seconds from side to side, swaying back and forth while he held himself was a PRETTY BIG CLUE.  Even at almost 11 years old, he still does the potty dance.  

I told him we were going straight home. That we only live 3 miles away from the school and that I was taking the fastest way home.  

We pulled into the driveway and before I could put the van in park he was out of the car, running toward the house with his backpack dragging behind him.  A few minutes later, Isabelle and I came into the house and heard Michael finishing up in the bathroom.

I unloaded the bags in my arms and Michael came out of the bathroom.  He said, "Mom one of my special talents is being able to go pee for a long time.  If there was a competition, for 10-year-olds, Id probably win. "

I started laughing, I have never heard of someone describe their urinating process as a "special talent" Wow, I said to Michael, I guess you must have some ability.  He then, after pausing to really consider his talent, said "Yeah I'd definitely win a competition."

I guess we all have skills.  Some we recognize at school, some better left to be recognized at home.  If anyone knows of any urinating marathon competitions please let me know, I might have a contender to register.

Until next time,.

Angie 

Happy Sixth Birthday Sweet Isabelle...

Six years ago tomorrow we got a phone call that changed our lives, for the better, forever.  Six years ago today the world was gifted with a beautiful, smart, kind, extra-loving and energetic soul.  At just over 6 pounds and 21 inches long, I remember the first moment my eyes met hers... she was so tiny, so long and so precious.  With perfectly formed red lips, porcelain skin, and a tiny amount of light hair on her head.  She looked like a real life baby doll and I knew I wanted her to be ours forever. 

Those early days it wasn't always a guarantee, I lived with fear each day, that my phone would ring and they would say they were coming to get her, one of her extended family members decided they would rather parent her.  I prayed they let us keep her, it was my constant and continuous prayer for all 10 months of her early life.  And then on that special day in November, we went to the court, and the judge said she was ours.  Besides the first day I met her, it was my second favorite day of our lives with her. 

Isabelle Grace, the special name we all played a part in picking.  The boys were so excited to welcome their baby sister, they helped with everything.  From making her bed to feeding her, singing to her when she cried and playing with her.  The addition of Isabelle into our lives brought more joy, happiness and love than we could have ever imagined.

It's hard for me to believe that when I crawled into bed early this morning with Isabelle to gently wake her up for school that I was talking to my 6 year old big girl. I still see her so many days as my little baby girl that stole my heart that February 8 a few years ago.  How can time have gone so fast?

I woke Isabelle up, wished her a happy birthday, told her how much I loved her and asked her if she was ready to have a fun day.  She opened her eyes, stretched out her arms and legs and said, "Wow Mom, look how big I am now? I must have grown a lot last night."  She got up and walked down the stairs to head toward the shower.  At the bottom of the stairs, where we have our baby gate, she opened it and said, "Wow, now I'm taller than the gate"  I smiled knowing she was just as tall when I tucked her into bed last night, but I played along.  You're right Isabelle, look how big you are now.  Let's go show Dad.

Dad took the kids to school today but before they left I hugged her, kissed her goodbye and said, "I hope you have the best day at school"  She smiled and like everyday for the past many years, she said, "I love you mom." 

I surprised Isabelle today at school and came to eat lunch with her.  She's been asking me to do it for many months, (actually since the first day of school) but with having Madelyn home with me on the days I don't work, it has never been a possibility.  Today I planned ahead, I planned it several weeks ago.  I wasn't going to miss this opportunity.  As she walked into the lunch room, one of the last kids in her line, she looked up to see Mrs. Knowlton standing next to me and the minute she saw me her face lit up, I think almost in the same way mine did when that just said, "Congratulations, she's yours." 

She ran right up to me, gave me a hug, said, "Mom- I love you!" and continued on in the line to go get her food.  Only after seeing me she skipped the rest of the way to the line.  We enjoyed lunch together, although I wondered if she was in shock that I actually came.  In a way she seemed so quiet, so shy, almost as if she wanted to soak up the moments and not fill them with chitter chatter.   It was a treat for me as it was for her. 

When it was time to dismiss for recess she asked me if I could come watch her and I told her I was not permitted to.  I had to go home.  She looked down with disappointment, but accepted it and then looked up and said, "Mom- I'll miss you." I put my arm around her and said, "Don't miss me too much, your school gets out in an hour and I'll be back to get you then."  She smiled again and was back to feeling happy.  We got up from the table, she hugged me one last time and then she was off to recess.  I watched her walk out the door until it closed and she was off. 

I walked out of the school with a feeling in my heart that I was grateful I had seized the moment to spend the 20 minutes of her lunch day with her.

I can't believe the past six years have gone by so quickly.  I want time to slow down, if for no other reason (actually there are many) than I want to keep her little, innocent and to build the strength in her so that she never has fear, has confidence to achieve anything she wants to, and the firm understanding that she is loved more than anything.  This world is a scary, harsh and hurtful place in many ways and I want to shield her from any danger that lies ahead.

Since I know that is not feasible and that hurt is just as much a part of this life as love and kindness, I guess it is instead my job to make sure she always knows her love and kindness that she freely and openly shares with this world, is some of the big reasons why life, my life, our life, can be good.  So we need more of Isabelle in this world and the older she gets is just another step forward into the big difference I know she is going to make in this world.

As we tucked Isabelle into bed tonight, it was clear she had a good day and her tired eyes could hardly stay awake.  We said our prayers, I brushed her hair back and kissed her forehead as I do each night, I told her I loved her.  It's a love I felt from the very first moment of meeting her.  It's a love that's grown and multiplied many times over in the past six years and it's a love that I hope will only continue to grow and never die. 

Becoming Isabelle's mom was one of the greatest gifts I have ever been given. It's a gift I don't take for granted, it's a story that I remind myself often that we were meant to be, and in realizing just how many things had to come together so perfectly to bring us together, I am humbled that I have been given this honor.

Isabelle, may you always know how much you are loved.  How many nights I dreamed of you before I got to hold you in my arms.  And how many nights I now give thanks that you are here.  May you always know you are capable of anything you dream of, that nothing is an obstacle you can't over come, and that if you ever need support, or help or a reminder of how capable you are... that you've got two supporters right here behind you cheering you on.

We love you Isabelle Grace.  Happiest of birthdays to you.

Love always,
Mom and Dad

What a day...

It was 6:50 p.m. as I stood in the kitchen attempting to salvage the pizza I burned after my cooking was hi-jacked so I could make my 7th  trip out of the house for  the day to go to the pharmacy to pick up the breathing medication I had been waiting for.  What a day....

My "yesterday" actually ended at 3:50 THIS morning when Madelyn collapsed from exhaustion of coughing, crying and wheezing for several hours non-stop.  That was after working a full day, chasing down the clock of the evening rat race, getting nothing on my nightly to do list done because Madelyn wasn't feeling well and needed to be attended to.

At about 8:00 p.m. she started coughing continuously,  that deep-in-your-chest cough that hurts just hearing it.  It sounded like a bark.  Madelyn could cough and cough and cough and only in the few seconds before the next one would come, she would cry and say "Ouwie Ouwie".  We tried everything.  For her fever-baby Motrin.  A hot steamy shower twice in 3 hours to loosen up her congestion- didn't help at all.  Almost a whole box of Kleenex used and still her nose would run.  Tried to get her to drink, anything, everything... we tried them all, but she refused.  But even with all those symptoms, the ones most scary was the labored breathing  and the wheezing in her  chest.  Her misery started at 8 p.m. and continued non-stop.  At 1:00 am after consulting with a 24 hour nurse line, we were told to go to the emergency room- her oxygen  levels could be suffering too. So I loaded her up in the car, my hair in a half  bun, half ponytail and my pajamas on.  It wasn't until I got half way to the hospital I realized my pajama pants were super thin and I wasn't wearing a bra.  Oh well.  Take me as I am.  She needed to be seen. 

The entire drive to the hospital she coughed that terrible bark  coughed and cried for me to hold her.  I pulled into the hospital, the one that always brings so many emotions for me, and went to the children's emergency room entrance.  As I looked for a parking  spot and couldn't find one, I glanced in through the windows of the ER entrance and saw that it was packed... like Costco on  a Saturday morning.  I mean seriously who goes to the ER on a Monday night at 1 in the morning?  I guess me with my thin-see-through  pants  and my baby aren't  the only ones. I looked back to check on Madelyn as she had become quiet for a moment and I panicked wanting to make  sure she  was still  breathing.  She was breathing and had dozed off lightly.  I called Jarrett as I pulled into a parking spot.  I said, "The waiting room is packed.  I seriously won't even be called back til the sun comes up and by then we might  as well  save  our hundred plus dollars and just go to the pediatricians office."  That's what I decided to do.  We'd just go to the doctor in the morning  Now I just needed to keep her asleep til I got home.

So  I drove  from the 60 to the 101 and started heading south.  The freeway was empty, Madelyn was still coughing but in her sleep.  I was exhausted and tried to focus on the lines so I didn't drift.  Last thing I needed was to be pulled over  for suspected drunk driving... "No I promise officer I haven't had anything to drink, my wandering  is simply from pure exhaustion."  I didn't need it so I tried to focus on the lines.  Just as I was getting close to taking our exit to go home,  Madelyn woke up in a screaming fit, crying out in pain.  It only seemed to exacerbate her cough.  I completely passed my exit and decided to keep driving.  Perhaps I could drive long enough again to have her drift off back to sleep.  At least  she  was sitting up more and that was better than trying to lay down. 

So drive  the 101, that's what I did.  South for as far as I could go before going on another freeway, then exit and get back on going the other direction.  We call it the loop 101 here  and last night that is what I was exactly doing.  For almost another hour, until I decided her crying wasn't going to stop, her coughing worse and it wasn't safe for me to fight my tiredness by driving.

Back home, another hot shower, more tissues, Jarrett propped up pillows in  the bed so I could sit up and hold her and finally, finally finally, she fell asleep.  The last time I looked at the clock it was 3:50 a.m.  My alarm was set for 5:30 am so I could get up to  go to work.  I knew it wasn't going to happen.  I had already emailed my colleagues, changed meeting times and made  plans, to be out for the morning...the doctors office was first on my agenda. 

I closed my eyes and fell asleep sitting up.  A minute later (I swear it was only a minute) my alarm was blaring it was time to wake up.  I woke up thinking, I remember this feeling.  I know I graduated from college (undergraduate) 16 years old (OMG- how  did I get so old?).  It was the same feeling you'd wake up to on Sunday morning after you had stayed out way too late visiting the late night establishments near campus.  I hated that feeling and let's just say this morning I felt the same way.

But unlike back then when I could stay in bed and pretend the tired-head ache away, this morning I had 4 kids to get up and out the door before 7:15 a.m.   I may or may not have taken the kids to school in  the same outfit I attempted  to go to the ER in.  Gabriel was thankful I didn't get out of the car when I dropped him and that no one was around the bus stop since we were early.  I got back home, showered quickly (yes ANOTHER shower) and we were off to the doctors office. 

We entered the sick kid side and I felt myself walking into the petri dish  of disease.  I knew anything we touched would expose us to a whole new slew of germs.  I tried not to touch anything, Madelyn on the other hand, pretty much picked up every and all germs the entire place offered.  After 45 minutes of waiting (past our appointment time I might add) we were finally taken back to wait even more.  Man I love pediatrician offices.  NOT-SO-MUCH.

The doctor walked in and said, I bet she has the flu- everyone does.  I proceeded to explain the laundry list of symptoms she has and then included the list of "confirmed X cases" her classroom at daycare has.  Madelyn at this point decided she knew we were here for her to be examined and she was NOT interested in  being there either.  She started screaming, then coughing, then wheezing and kicking to get away.  The doctor listened to her lungs, to her breathing, checked her ears and said, I think she has RSV or pneumonia.  Let's check her oxygen levels, test her for RSV and get her a breathing treatment to see if that might help.  She then left the room and we got to wait again.

Awhile later the nurse came back and performed the list of tasks outlined by the doctor.  Again Madelyn screamed.  Even  with her screaming at the top of her lungs her oxygen stat rates were in the 80's  with a low of 82.  I remember from our time with Noah, this isn't where we wanted to be.  We then had the fun experience of   having the stick jabbed way up her nose- NOT FUN.  Followed by the breathing treatment which she screamed and kicked so loud and for so long, the family in the room next to us, went  out to ask one of the  staff  if  the  baby in  the  room next to them (us) was okay.  Good times, so fun!  It wasn't even 11 a.m.

Finally the doctor came back in and said, "Well it isn't RSV so we think it is pneumonia.  We need you to go have a chest  x-ray done" Keep giving her breathing treatments  every 4 hours and I'll call you at the end of the day with the results and the plan for how we move forward. We walked out the and headed for the imaging place to wait again. 

An  hour later, another experience of me having to restrain Madelyn in uncomfortable positions (for her), we were walking  out the door so I could race downtown for a meeting I needed to be at.  I looked at the clock, thought great I have time to make it without having to race.  Just as I was finishing that  thought my gas light in the van came on which triggered (why I don't know) a reminder that I hadn't brought the diaper bag.  I wasn't going to have the  time  I thought  I did.  I raced to the gas station at the grocery store and filled up. I then decided I'd just run into the grocery store and buy a pack of diapers and wipes to keep in  the car.  Seriously why did it take me 20 months to figure this out?

In record speed I got the supplies we needed and got Downtown in record time (I may or may not have  set  my own speed limit for this trip).  Madelyn coughed again the whole  way but fell asleep a few minutes into the drive.  It was quiet and I had some quiet time to let my mind think.   I picked up Jarrett to swap child duties,  we grabbed a quick lunch and I was at work in  time for my meeting.  Thankfully that went well, I then picked up the stuff I needed to do some  work at  home and had Jarrett pick me up so I could get  going on my way back home.

We arrived home, and thankfully our life-saver Andrea was there with Michael and  Isabelle.  I asked her  to help me with taking Isabelle to a birthday party for one of her classmates since I didn't  really want  to venture out to yet another germ pool with Madelyn.  Andrea saved the day (again) and agreed  to help.  I helped the kids with their homework and soon it was time to pick up Gabriel and drop off Isabelle for Andrea to take her to the party.  On our way home I had to stop by the bread store, because "Mom- I can't make a sandwich  for my lunch if we don't  have any bread!- seriously sometimes our lives just leave me shaking my head." 

We got home, carried in  the bags of bread, bagels and English Muffins only to realize it was 4:58 and the pediatrician's office was calling me back.  I  had called earlier because in the still unsettled state we are  in, I can't  find many things from our move and the breathing machine Michael used to use is one of the many items currently lost.  So I had to call to order a new one.  Michelle at the doctors office  told me  she  had one for me but I needed to come right away as  their office was closing at 5... I live 20 minutes away without traffic, it was 4:58.  Michelle said she's stay for me, so I yelled for the kids to load up again  and  off we went.   We arrived, got the new machine and was headed back home just in time, Andrea was going to be dropping Isabelle off from the party any minute.

It was now 5:45 and I hadn't even thought about dinner.  The kids though, they had been dreaming of food for "hours" and  were so hungry they were convinced they wouldn't make it 10 minutes more.  I started to make dinner... home made pizza, I could do that pretty quickly.  By this time Madelyn hadn't had a second breathing treatment in well over 6 hours, was feeling miserable, wheezing, coughing and crying non-stop wanting to be held.  I gave her some fever medicine and tried to get her occupied on a project while I made dinner.  She wasn't having it.  So I  held her and tried to get her breathing treatment put together.   I assembled the new machine and went to give it to her when I realized, I had never picked up the actual prescription with the medication.  For the LOVE OF GOD, seriously.  I yelled to the kids again.... Load up.  We have to go back out.  My shout was met with the same feelings I was experiencing... moaning, complaining and whining. 

Back in the car to the same grocery story I had just been at 6  hours earlier only this time to the pharmacy.  Madelyn cried and made a huge scene, Michael, Isabelle and Gabriel made a second scene as they fought over the free blood pressure check system near the pharmacy entrance and I started digging through my purse as I heard my phone ringing with a facetime call from my brother calling to wish Isabelle a happy early birthday.  I thought, who cares, I'm going to answer this right here and now.  So with many people around I allowed my two oldest to fight over a blood pressure machine, let Madelyn have a meltdown on my shoulder and tried to coach Isabelle through a conversation in the middle of the store.  Seriously winning mom of the year (NOT)!

Finally after a  few more debacles we got the medication and raced home.  I had the pizza crust rising in the  oven, the oven I had turned  off but was still warm.  We got home, ran into the house to find  the crust well beyond done.  I laughed as I told my brother I needed to go,  that I had burned dinner.  Meanwhile Madelyn was still crying on my shoulder.  Looking down at the dark brown crust in front of me, I decided it was going to have  to do.  I opened the jar of sauce, dumped the whole thing on it, spread it out, put some ham on a few pieces for me and then put the rest of the bag of cheese  on top.  It wasn't pretty, probably would taste  burned but it was going to work.   Twelve minutes later, we sat down at  the table Madelyn still a crying mess from the breathing treatment I gave her as the pizza cooked and we had dinner.  It was the first time since my drive in to work, that I heard nothing but quiet.  The kids scarfed down the pizza, were filling their faces and not talking. Silence.  It felt weird and I welcomed it. 

We ate dinner, returned to our normal nightly rat-race of getting everything done. I read  with Isabelle, helped the boys get their things for school ready and  I  tucked Isabelle in  for the last time as a 5 year old (oh my sappy, oh so tired heart and mind tonight- I can't think too much about it or  I'll be sobbing) and I decided after doing some homework and then actual work, I was going to sit down and record this day.  Not because it was great, it wasn't.  Not because it was pretty.   It wasn't.  I failed more times today than I succeeded.  I wanted to record this because I made it through.  We made it through.  The kids got to eat, albeit burned dinner that was supposed to be pizza, Madelyn got the medicine she needed, I got my work done (well some of it) I needed, and tonight the house is mostly quiet.  We made it.  Oh what a day.  It's one I know I can't live everyday.  Thank goodness for that.

It was a hard day but everyone survived and honestly, that is not a guarantee any day.  

But its a day that reminds me that this period of life is only temporary.  As I sat in the waiting room waiting for the chest x-ray, a  couple in their late 50's came in (I know because I heard his date of birth when he checked in) and he was in for a PET scan because he had just been diagnosed with lung cancer (I know he said that too when he checked in) and he needed to know "just how bad it was." 

Oh yes, today is one I'm ready to put an end to.  I'm ready for a nice stiff drink to take away the stress, but I'm trying to keep it in perspective.  These last two months have honestly been pretty shitty (excuse my language-actually no, I really mean shitty). I find myself seeing more rainy days than sunny ones.  Seriously it hasn't been pretty and most days I question if I'll  ever see the sun the way I used to.  Today was another cloudy day, but I made it through.  WE did.  As I sign off tonight, I'm just thankful that my daughter's chest x-ray showed that indeed she does have RSV (yes the first test was wrong-isn't that  funny), but at least she doesn't have something worse.  Something that the other couple is probably going to bed tonight dreading the report they may receive. 

Yes what a day.  I'm hoping tomorrow is easier.  It should be, Isabelle is thrilled to be turning  6 so we will try to celebrate and rejoice in having  her in our lives.  Today though, I'm going to file you away as a victory.  It may have been a battle but I'm still here, and I'll hopefully wake tomorrow to talk about it. - Let's just hope for a few more  hours of sleep tonight, or people are going to start  questioning the bags under my eyes and if I really did win the battle. 

Until next time,
Angie

Hello? Daddy are you there?

Madelyn mimics talking on the phone a lot.   At one point I looked over at Jarrett who was trying to work to realize he was only typing on the computer with one hand because the other one.... well I'll let you see where it was. 

 Perhaps it is because we are addicted to our phones.  The other night, we were downstairs after the big kids had gone to bed and Madelyn stared playing with her phone.  

Soon she wanted to talk to Dad on the phone but she had her phone so Jarrett pretended the remote was the phone. 

Sometimes she likes to talk on two phones at once!

 Madelyn kept on playing and going back and forth between that and her race car track.

 At one point I looked over at Jarrett who was trying to work to realize he was only typing on the computer with one hand because the other one.... well I'll let you see where it was.

Until next time,

Angie

When you finally have enough hair...

to have a bad hair day.

Madelyn: What do you mean its just going to stick up?

Mom: Yep, its gonna stand up all over, its gonna curl and do what it wants to.

 Mom: Well baby, at least you have hair. 

Madelyn: Geez, thanks Mom

Until next time,
Angie

Honoring Isabelle....

At the great school Isabelle and Michael attend each month they have leadership assembly where they honor the children's strengths.  Too often we hear what we need to improve on and how we can always get better.  Sometimes its nice to pause and celebrate the things we are good at.

Yesterday, Isabelle was honored at the assembly for her capacity to love and be loved.   Jarrett, Madelyn and I attended and we soaked up every moment of her getting to be celebrated.

 I can still remember the instant love I felt for her the second the nurse put her into my arms.  My heart was connected to hers instantly and will be forever.  And as nervous as I was to become her mom, and about the mistakes I was sure to make, I vowed in those very first moments, that as her mom I never wanted her to question just how much she is loved and wanted.

Of the many things we hope to teach and have taught Isabelle, it makes me proud to see that she was complimented for her capacity to share love and be loved. 

Love is such an important part of who we are and how we survive in this life.  Love is what we feel in our greatest of moments, and it is also what pulls us through our most difficult ones.  Love can comfort, it can heal. It can be celebrated and it should be cherished. 

Isabelle, we are so proud of you and are grateful we are the recipients of your love.  May you always feel how deep our love is for you. 


Until next time,
Angie