A wonderful (quarantined) Mother's Day

Today was a great day.  Last year on Mother's Day I was 7 months pregnant and filled with nerves.  I wanted the baby in my stomach to arrive so safely that I was so nervous I would be devastated.

This year I spent the day with my family, all 5 kids and dad and it was awesome.  I got to sleep in until 7:45 which was glorious.  I was up earlier but laid in bed as I heard lots of rumblings happening in the kitchen and was placing bets on the fact that they were making be breakfast. I got out of bed, combed my hair and started changing just as the crew came in singing Happy Mother's Day to the tune Happy Birthday!  They had made me breakfast of eggs, toast, bacon, hashbrowns and smoothie.  It was tasty!

Momma is tired

The kids gave me their cards and gifts...

Following breakfast I got to exercise for 30 minutes and even take a 10 minute shower.  It was so nice to have a few minutes to myself.  After that we turned into church and then played a game of sequence.  By then the kids had decided they'd had enough of "let's do what mom wants and started begging to go their own thing.  I had decided I wasn't going to fight them or make them do things they didn't want so for the next while the kids did their own thing... mainly video games for the big kids.  Jennings, Madelyn and I played while Dad took a nap. He was tired from getting up first with the kids.  After a little bit the big kids came to check in, I think they were feeling guilty they weren't spending time with me, so they all came and we watched the old classic Cool Runnings.  We've been in a pattern of watching all old movies and the kids thought this one was a hit.

We then had lunch (dad) got me pizza and we went swimming.  The boys wanted to play more video games so they did that while the younger kiddos, Dad and I went swimming.  It was nice to have it be more peaceful without the constant wrestling and big splash competition it always seems to be with the boys.  The girls were super cute.

Jennings fell asleep and I put him into his bed, then came back out and while the girls dried off and laid on their towels I laid on the swing. 

Yep I was still so tired.  I laid down and the next thing I woke up to Isabelle taking my picture.. Mom you fell asleep again.

We came in from swimming and had a low key afternoon.  We played, we had snacks and we just enjoyed time being a family.  As the afternoon progressed, Dad and I got a chance to talk and then we decided to go for a drive.  Last week, we had done it with the kids and it was good just to go out of the house.  So we loaded up and started driving, we decided to just make a loop and soon after setting off, I could just feel in my heart that I should be looking to the sky for a sign.

Within about 10 minutes of driving, Isabelle shouted from the backseat, "MOM-look there's a rainbow, a double rainbow!"  Everyone in the cart turned to peer out the window and there they were... just gorgeous.  I knew in my heart it was my sign from above.  I smiled and felt my heart complete.  I had gotten to spend Mother's Day with all of my kiddos in their own special way.

Thank you to my dear friend Janelle for sharing this beautiful picture with us. 

Tonight we came home, had dinner and it was time to tuck the girls in.  It really was a special day.  The kids had each done something special to celebrate their love for me and they really did make me feel special.

For all those mom's who had a wonderful day, I celebrate you.
For all those mom's who long to be Mothers and are feeling heavy hearts this year, my heart is with you.
For all those mom's who've had to say goodbye too soon and have angels looking down from above... my heart is with you.
All those who are moms, like mom's, longing to be moms.... I salute you.

For so many years I dreamed about being a mom and for many years this holiday was filled with heart-ache for it seems like a dream that wasn't meant for me.  And now here I am with 5 children I am blessed to raise here, so blessed.  Last night I went through my closet and cleaned out the majority of my clothes.  See many of them don't fit after having Jennings and sadly I just don't have the time to take the same care of myself like I did before.  In about 20 days I will be turning 40 and I realized sorting through my clothes that many of them I've had since I was in college.  As I pulled out clothes after clothes that don't fit me, I started to feel really bad about myself.  See those dark circles under my eyes and that pouch in my belly.  My gray hair seems to sprout like the weeds in the grass, and I started to feel worse and worse about myself.  And then Jennings started crawling to me, and Madelyn needed me to help her in the bathroom and Isabelle wanted me to tuck her into bed.  As I walked up stairs to tuck her in the boys asked me to watch a movie with them and that's when it hit me.  For years I dreamed of being a mom, for years I prayed and asked God to grant me with the experience of being pregnant, of giving life to a baby.  I longed to have the words "Mom" be called and it be for me.  I sit here tonight with all of those prayers having been answered and those dreams my reality.... so instead of feeling shameful for the changes my body had undergone, I am going to give thanks.  This body has helped me through some of the hardest things I believe life can bring and it has enabled me to perform some of the most miraculous things that can happen in a life.  I might have dark circles, pouches of fat and a lot more wrinkles and gray hair than I had before, but I am every so happy and so very very blessed.

To Gabe, Michael, Isabelle, Madelyn, and Jennings... I am so blessed to be your mom.  Each of the ways we became a family are special and unique and I love you more than you'll ever know.  

Thank you for making me the luckiest woman in the world.

Happy Mother's Day.

Until next time,
angie

Fri-yay!

Well we made it through another week of quarantine... you'd think since we stay home all the time, the weekends wouldn't be much different but it really is.  Instead of having to be on top of the kids constantly as to where they are with their homework, and where I try to jam work into every moment in-between attending to the kids that I can, we relax things tremendously.   This weekend I look forward to getting a few more things crossed off my list and to spending time together.

We've started to make swimming a daily part of our routine.  For the first few weeks of stay-at-home orders we went on multiple walks a day, now we swim.  All the kids... it's good for them to get exercise.  

Then tonight we watched a family movie "HOP" a little after the fact since Easter was a few weeks ago, but still it was fun.  Since the boys have gotten so much older now, we let them stay up and usually we watch another movie.  Jennings hangs til 9 then he goes down and the boys go to bed a while later.  It has turned into our time together.  I hope in many years when the boys are grown and gone that they remember this time we got to spend together.  I know I will.

When we watch the movie the boys always want popcorn and Jennings feels like he should get some too, so he gets Cheerios in his own bowl too..

Can you see the way Jennings looks up to his big brothers with so much interest and admiration?    

So here's to the weekend.  Thank goodness we are here.

Until next time,

Angie

Schools out (for mom) for 10 days!

Today I finished what has been a long 5 year process of completing my prerequisite classes so that I can begin my clinical journey to become a nurse.  Today I finished pathophysiology and boy am I happy.  It was a crazy semester that included many late nights, early mornings and full day study sessions crammed into weekends to try to learn as much as I could about diseases and illnesses our bodies get.  Tonight I finished the classes and missed only 9 points the entire semester and I guess with 4 extra credit points coming my way, I really only missed 5 and I don't mean to brag but boy am I proud of this.  It is a hard class, midway through we transitioned to being at home where I tried to balance homeschooling 3 kids, helping a pre-schooler learn her name and letters, care for an infant, work a part-time job online and do all the other duties moms do, like cook, clean, laundry, bathe the kids, get groceries.... you name it.  I am proud, it was really hard work and I am pretty darn tired, but so glad to be here.

We also got word today that my clinical classes which are supposed to begin in the fall (even through mom other classes begin in just 10 days) will most likely have to be offered online. I'm not sure how you learn to put in IV's, and take blood pressures, and do other important nursing things online, but I guess we will wait and see.  I'm sure they are working on it and it will turn out just fine.   In someways being online allows me to be home more with the family and kids which is good, but it usually means a lot less sleep because I can only really study when the rest of the family is sleeping.  Lately Jarrett's been working til well past midnight, last night it was 3:30 am, so we at least have each other to be working with.

Anyway I am very excited for the next 10 days and hope to tear apart our house, reorganizing it and clearing out all the things we seem to accumulate.  But tonight we celebrated.  We ate dinner early and then went for a family swim.  It was really fun.  The kids loved it too and were super hyper as you'll see from the pictures.  While we are together A LOT, we really are doing pretty darn good. I keep telling myself, these family dinners as a group of 7 are going to change very soon as Gabe enters high school and his activities, friends, jobs pull him in different directions.  Now we are stuck together and I think if you'd ask them, they wouldn't tell you it has been horrible.

Here are a few photos from tonight's family swim (and a few other cute ones I had to snap today)...

The oldest and the youngest, even though there's 14 years between them, Jennings loves his big brother.  He just sits contently in his arms and Gabe is pretty accommodating allowing Jennings to watch his favorite Mickey Mouse cartoon on loop.  

Flexing their muscles!  I wonder what trouble these three will get into one day.  Maybe it's better if I don't wonder.

Jennings still wearing a 3-6 month swim suit even though he's almost 10 months (How can this be?) I want to cry my baby is growing up so quickly!

 Last year Jennings hated the pool the one time we took him in. This year he loves it, even if it's too cold in my opinion.  He and Madelyn love having dad time to play together.

And big sister Belle is quite the fish. She swims so well now.

We tried to get a family shot!  Seeing us this way, I guess we are quite the crew.  I wouldn't want it any other way.  I am so so thankful for all of our children.  Even in my greatest dreams, I would have never believed our family would have come together the way it did... God's plan is so much better than ours.

Yep this is about as good as a family picture as we can get.

It was a long day and Jennings only slept about 30 minutes all day, so by 7:30 he was zonked.  Let's hope he sleeps well tonight!  We still have a long way to go on the "sleeping through the night" effort.

Here's to waking up tomorrow morning feeling like my plate has been cleared from a huge tasks.  

Looking forward to these next 10 days of getting to my new to-do list.

Until next time,

Angie

This little guy...

has grown like a weed.  So I've been carrying around the mom guilt weight for months that I haven't blogged about Jennings since he turned 4 months and now he's about to be turning 10 months.  Probably one more thing the kids will remind me about that I did wrong.  

Somdays mom's can't seem to do much right.  Oh well.

Anyway, we have SO enjoyed every minute of Jennings and I tell myself that its okay I haven't blogged each month because I've selfishly been soaking up each minute.  I find myself feeling mixed emotions as he gets bigger.  It is always wonderful to see him learn new things and to reach the next milestone.  And then as I pack away his clothes that no longer fit, and put away the baby swing, the baby bouncer and the bassinet, I hold back tears, for this chapter in our lives in closing. 

Its a strange time because for almost the entire duration of my adult, married life I have wanted kids, babies... lots of them.  Now I have them and I sadly don't want it to end.  I've always said if it wasn't for the teen years I'd probably have 15 kids.  Okay maybe not that many, but I'd definitely want more.  I respect certain things about teen years too, I know it's a part of the kids growing up and finding their independence and freedom, it's just that it's so much fun to cuddle and kiss a baby rather than a eye-rolling, hormonal, adult sized kid.  Don't worry boys I LOVE YOU just as much!

Anyway, I say that it has been emotional because I have finally reached a part in my heart where I am comfortable with Jennings being our baby. I wondered if I'd ever think this but I realize this chapter has to end too and I think with me beginning nursing school and clinicals very soon, I can't imagine being pregnant, going to school, having 5 or more kids and working.  And for that I feel some sadness that the baby stage is going to be over so soon.

Enough with my sadness. I look at Jennings and each day soak up the moments of baby smells, the cuddles, of being his whole world and being able to give him all he needs.  While I'm pretty darn tired, I even try to tell myself that the sleepless nights will come to an end too and so I should give thanks he still wakes up and searches for me.

Jennings is truly a great baby.  He smiles way more than he cries, he's content to play with his toys and he loves his siblings and his daddy.  He's recently found that he can get around and is into everything.  He likes our food rather than baby food, wants to swim when his siblings are swimming, loves to sleep to the sound of rain (we play a YouTube video every night) and he has a mouthful of teeth.  At 9 months he has 8 teeth fully in and one more just about ready to break the surface. 

He loves to facetime and knows when the phone rings he is all smiles and he looks just like his daddy.  There is no doubt who his dad is while most people wouldn't know he has any relation to me, other than his cubby thighs, I can take full credit for them.

The big kids love him and boy do I mean love him.  He pretty much is smothered in kisses, hugs so tight I'm afraid they are going to crush him and he has more nicknames than most people have shoes.  Some of the popular ones are "Jenners", "Cake" "Keek" "Jenner Benners" Bubber Cakers" "Bubbs" "Bubbers" "Bjorne"   Don't even ask me where most of them came from, but all of them directed in love.

When we first had Jennings and brought him home, I wondered how we'd be able to handle 5 kids, plus work, and school and all the activities.  The truth is I can't imagine our life now without him.  He is the perfect cherry on our multi-scoop ice cream sundae. 

Jennings, Mom apologies for not getting your monthly updates done (I did get them done in your baby book if that's good for anything) and please know it is in no way a refection of not loving you.  Actually it's the exact opposite, we love you so much we spent all the time we could with you and instead of sitting here writing, momma instead sat in a chair holding you. 

We are so in love with you and all of us dream of watching you grow up.  Your big brothers want to show you all the ropes as you grow, and your sister's are going to savor the days of getting to boss you around.  You mom and dad are just going to love you to pieces and know that with you being the baby we are going to have to take every picture of every milestone and you'll have to put up with all of mom's tears as she cries that it's the last time her baby is going to do X.  I can already see the eye rolls.

No matter what please know just how much you are loved.

Until next time,
Mom

A good family day... in quarantine.

We have been at home since around March 12 and we have I believe done a very good job following the recommendations.  I have only stepped foot inside a grocery store once since the end of February and we've kept the kids at home too.  Needless to say we've fallen into a new routine here and when life returns to what it will look like in the future, I am confident to say we will all miss this time.

I keep reminding myself that Gabe will graduate in 4 years and Michael in 5 and I am soaking up the time now.  Most nights after the girls go to bed, the boys and I will watch a show.  I have been introducing them to some good 80's and 90's movies like Splash, and Sister Act and the other night we watched Daddy's Home with Dad.  They keep asking to see more adult movies and I keep saying no, and then Jarrett reminds me that they are almost 15 and 13 and that when we were their ages we were probably watching the same movies they are asking to see.  I can't stop seeing them at my little kids even though both of them are way bigger than me.

Wow, sorry long tangent.  Anyway, today I took one of my exams for my class and after church I asked Dad if he was up for a drive.  The kids haven't let the house in weeks, and I thought maybe we could just take a drive to see what the outside world is like.  At first the kid were leary... "what? Like why are we leaving the house?"

We ended up packing up a picnic lunch and headed east toward Tortilla Flats.  We ended up eating our lunch on the way and as we drove we all noticed new things we had failed to see prior to this pandemic.  Perhaps its that in the last few weeks we've retrained out brains to see the simple things... things we missed before because our brains were on warp speed and couldn't stop.

As we drove the kids saw shapes in the rocks, Michael said the one he saw looked like a monkey to which the other kids all agreed.  We saw wild flowers, moss growing on the rocks, Gabe found a huge lizard sunning itself on the rock and when we got to the lake it was really fun to watch.  All of the kids eyes were pealed out the windows.  It was like we were seeing it all again for the first time.

 Turns out we weren't the only ones out for a drive and while most people didn't seem to understand the social distancing at all, we stayed in the car, I surprised the kids with Otter Pops I had brought along and we enjoyed our cool treat while we looked around.

Gabe wasn't very impressed as you can see in the background that we wouldn't let him get out and go down to the water where crowds of other kids his age were.  We just said the risk wasn't worth it.  

He eventually came around... 4 girl scout cookies, a sandwich and some fruit later. 

Meanwhile Jennings thought it was a huge treat to be able to get out of his car seat while we sat along the road.

Our view out the front window... 

After we enjoyed our treat, talked for a bit, we turned around and headed back home.  

It was a relatively quick trip but so nice to get away for a bit, even though we didn't talk to or come into contact with anyone, I will say it felt strange. 

We have been staying in the comforts of our home, doing our thing, bonding as a family and I must say, while we have our fights and arguments... for the most part... it has been wonderful.  The less amount of stress of having to race here or there, and how there is plenty of time for tasks balanced nicely with equal amount of time for rest and play.

Speaking of rest and play.  When we got home we had told the kids we could have a water balloon fight. They were all thrilled and jumped out of the van as soon as we pulled in the garage. The kids thought it was fun to get dad and ask you can see from the pictures below... I think they got him pretty good.  In the video you'll hear me say be careful of Dad's knee.... we don't need to go backwards after his surgery last December.  Even Madelyn thought it was funny to get daddy wet.

Yep, he's been working on his pitching....  

After the water balloon fight we all went swimming as the weather has turned to summer overnight.  We miss our cooler days already... only 6 more months of crazy heat!

Today was a good day.... It will be one of those days I'll look back on and miss for sure.  I am keenly aware that these next few years are going to fly by and never will our family of 7 living and growing together be the same.  So as we look at this time of COVID-19 and it can be so easy to focus on the bad and the negative, I am going to give great thanks for all the blessings instilled upon our family.

We are healthy.

We are safe.

We are without needs.

We have quality time to spend together.

We laugh.

We love.

We cherish this time.

Until next time,

Angie

PS:  And in another first tonight... this little guy decided he'd start climbing the stairs... all the way to the top... a few minutes later another baby gate appeared in our house again.

April Fools!

April fools is one of my favorite days because I love to play little tricks on the kids.  In a world where so much is serious and we have a hard time taking time to be silly, it is the one day where mom is silly for sure.

While the world is not really in a funny light hearted place, I debated about not doing anything for this day but then thought twice.  This is a day my kids look forward to now.  They have been talking for weeks speculating about what prank I am going to pull on them and how they are definitely not going to fall for any of my shenanigan's.  I smile and tell them I bet I'll prove them wrong.

The minute the kids woke up yesterday, they announced it was finally April 1st and they were on to me.  I played along and persuaded them I wasn't going to do anything because I was too busy.  Michael had been playing for a while that he had come up with a whole list of pranks and was going to be busy during the night of March 30th setting everything up to trick us.

In playing along with his game, I helped "set him up"  I pulled all the cereal from the shelves and hid them in various places.... under the church pew and in the oven.  I also took the foot spa (sitting on the counter for our planned April 1st, home spa day, and I filled it with cereal.  And then I waited...

As the morning routine went on Madelyn was the first to notice the cereal under the pew and she said, "Mom look the Easter Bunny put our cereal under the pew!"  Lately the Easter Bunny has been very busy doing things... when St. Patrick stopped by for St. Patrick's day, Madelyn was sure it was the Easter Bunny who had left her all the coins.  And she was convinced yesterday's fun was to be assigned to the bunny himself again.

When the big kids came running to see the cereal, I said, "Okay boys which one of you did this?"  To which they looked at each other, pointed fingers at one another and shouted, "NOT ME, it was (insert name of other brother)"  I, in my motherly "you're in trouble" tone said, "Michael it must have been you... you've been talking about pranking us for several days."  Determined to prove his innocence eh said, "Mom, look I can tell you with a straight face I'm not lying, I didn't..." and then he burst out laughing.  He begged, "Mom, really it had to be Gabriel, it wasn't me."  I turned to Gabriel and said, "So you're the prankster this morning huh?"  To which he immediately got wide-eyed and insisted it wasn't him!

After a few minutes and after some curious asking I started recording the kids and Michael caught on saying, "This is all mom!  It was then I let them in on the secret... yep mom strikes again!"

The other prank I pulled on the kids was that I showed them a picture of the governor declaring that the students would have to retake the same grade next year.  I acted surprised when I found the photo on my phone and even though we had just been discussing the fact that it was April fools, the boys fell for it hook, line and sinker.  Immediately Michael said, "That's it, we have to move out of state immediately!"  Gabe was more shocked and speechless but just kept repeating no no no over and over again!  I said, "ask Dad!" so Gabe took off running up the stairs, completely interrupting Dad's meeting to ask, "Am I going to have to redo 8th grade?"  Jarrett, obviously being interrupted in the middle of a meeting said, "April fools!" to which Gabe came out of the office with a big smirk and said, "April fools!"  It was so funny, I smile now even writing about it.

As the day went on we laughed about all the past April fools pranks and the kids insisted one of these days they are going to strike back!

Until then, this mom looks forward to another April Fool's day fun next time,
Angie

PS: Enjoy a little April Fool's joke from Madelyn!