has grown like a weed. So I've been carrying around the mom guilt weight for months that I haven't blogged about Jennings since he turned 4 months and now he's about to be turning 10 months. Probably one more thing the kids will remind me about that I did wrong.
Somdays mom's can't seem to do much right. Oh well.
Anyway, we have SO enjoyed every minute of Jennings and I tell myself that its okay I haven't blogged each month because I've selfishly been soaking up each minute. I find myself feeling mixed emotions as he gets bigger. It is always wonderful to see him learn new things and to reach the next milestone. And then as I pack away his clothes that no longer fit, and put away the baby swing, the baby bouncer and the bassinet, I hold back tears, for this chapter in our lives in closing.
Its a strange time because for almost the entire duration of my adult, married life I have wanted kids, babies... lots of them. Now I have them and I sadly don't want it to end. I've always said if it wasn't for the teen years I'd probably have 15 kids. Okay maybe not that many, but I'd definitely want more. I respect certain things about teen years too, I know it's a part of the kids growing up and finding their independence and freedom, it's just that it's so much fun to cuddle and kiss a baby rather than a eye-rolling, hormonal, adult sized kid. Don't worry boys I LOVE YOU just as much!
Anyway, I say that it has been emotional because I have finally reached a part in my heart where I am comfortable with Jennings being our baby. I wondered if I'd ever think this but I realize this chapter has to end too and I think with me beginning nursing school and clinicals very soon, I can't imagine being pregnant, going to school, having 5 or more kids and working. And for that I feel some sadness that the baby stage is going to be over so soon.
Enough with my sadness. I look at Jennings and each day soak up the moments of baby smells, the cuddles, of being his whole world and being able to give him all he needs. While I'm pretty darn tired, I even try to tell myself that the sleepless nights will come to an end too and so I should give thanks he still wakes up and searches for me.
Jennings is truly a great baby. He smiles way more than he cries, he's content to play with his toys and he loves his siblings and his daddy. He's recently found that he can get around and is into everything. He likes our food rather than baby food, wants to swim when his siblings are swimming, loves to sleep to the sound of rain (we play a YouTube video every night) and he has a mouthful of teeth. At 9 months he has 8 teeth fully in and one more just about ready to break the surface.
He loves to facetime and knows when the phone rings he is all smiles and he looks just like his daddy. There is no doubt who his dad is while most people wouldn't know he has any relation to me, other than his cubby thighs, I can take full credit for them.
The big kids love him and boy do I mean love him. He pretty much is smothered in kisses, hugs so tight I'm afraid they are going to crush him and he has more nicknames than most people have shoes. Some of the popular ones are "Jenners", "Cake" "Keek" "Jenner Benners" Bubber Cakers" "Bubbs" "Bubbers" "Bjorne" Don't even ask me where most of them came from, but all of them directed in love.
When we first had Jennings and brought him home, I wondered how we'd be able to handle 5 kids, plus work, and school and all the activities. The truth is I can't imagine our life now without him. He is the perfect cherry on our multi-scoop ice cream sundae.
Jennings, Mom apologies for not getting your monthly updates done (I did get them done in your baby book if that's good for anything) and please know it is in no way a refection of not loving you. Actually it's the exact opposite, we love you so much we spent all the time we could with you and instead of sitting here writing, momma instead sat in a chair holding you.
We are so in love with you and all of us dream of watching you grow up. Your big brothers want to show you all the ropes as you grow, and your sister's are going to savor the days of getting to boss you around. You mom and dad are just going to love you to pieces and know that with you being the baby we are going to have to take every picture of every milestone and you'll have to put up with all of mom's tears as she cries that it's the last time her baby is going to do X. I can already see the eye rolls.
No matter what please know just how much you are loved.
Until next time,
Mom
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