In honor of President's Day, Michael was excited to go to school today because there was a reason to have a party. This morning I asked him, do you know whose birthday is today?
He respond, "Yes mom, today is George Washington's birthday!
"That's great Michael" I responded, "Do you know who George Washington is? Expecting him to say he was the first president of the United States, instead he responded, "Yes Mom, he is the president that has marshmallow hair."
Until next time,
Angie
Monday, February 20, 2012
Hospital Reflections...
There have been so many great things that have happened in the past week, I'm doing my best to write them down. And so before I forget, there are a few things I wanted to record from Isabelle's first few days in the hospital.
As I talked about earlier, the fact of getting to meet her in the hospital was purely and utterly amazing. What was to us, icing on the cake, was the 5-star, royal treatment she received from the amazing nurses. In talking about how we got to meet her, you may recall that there was a whole group of nurses gathered all around her when we arrived. I do honestly believe that Isabelle was held the entire time she was in the hospital and that the love she received from them will be forever a part of her.
In fact when we left the hospital the nurses presented our Isabelle with gifts. In addition to the goodies the hospital sends home, the nurses had gone together to get her an outfit that reads, "I love my mommy" and a "My Guardian Angel" plaque to hang above her crib. The plaque reads,
And as I read it my eyes filled with tears and I cried happy tears. I've never given birth to a baby in the hospital and who knows, maybe nurses buy every baby a parting gift. But as they gave us her gifts and wished us well, I couldn't help but think that they considered her special, and for that I will be forever grateful. For just as everyone views their children as extra special, we do the same about her (and our boys). My heart overflowed with complete happiness and I thanked God yet again for all the details he made come to be, to bring this little miracle to me (us).
And another one of my favorite stories from when she was in the hospital was what nurse Rose told me on my second day of visiting her. When we first met Isabelle, we thought we saw her smile a few times during our visit. Knowing that at her age (less than 2 days old) babies don't really smile, I thought she must have gas. When I returned the following day to hold her, nurse Rose came up to me and was doting about how cute, lovable and sweet our baby girl was. Almost as if Isabelle had heard Rose saying those nice things, she smiled. Then Rose said, "You know of all the newborn babies I see, I don't know if I've ever met a baby that smiles so much." Rose continued, " My mom, use to say that when a newborn baby smiles, it is because they can still hear their guardian angel whispering to them from Heaven." and with that, my eyes filled with tears and I cried happy tears all over again. I believe Isabelle's guardian angel was watching out for her and every time I see her smile, I can't help but wonder what her guardian angel is saying to her now.
Until next time,
Angie
As I talked about earlier, the fact of getting to meet her in the hospital was purely and utterly amazing. What was to us, icing on the cake, was the 5-star, royal treatment she received from the amazing nurses. In talking about how we got to meet her, you may recall that there was a whole group of nurses gathered all around her when we arrived. I do honestly believe that Isabelle was held the entire time she was in the hospital and that the love she received from them will be forever a part of her.
In fact when we left the hospital the nurses presented our Isabelle with gifts. In addition to the goodies the hospital sends home, the nurses had gone together to get her an outfit that reads, "I love my mommy" and a "My Guardian Angel" plaque to hang above her crib. The plaque reads,
"O, Angel of God,
my Guardian dear,
To whom God's love
commits me here
Ever this day
be at my side
To light and guard
to rule and guide."
And as I read it my eyes filled with tears and I cried happy tears. I've never given birth to a baby in the hospital and who knows, maybe nurses buy every baby a parting gift. But as they gave us her gifts and wished us well, I couldn't help but think that they considered her special, and for that I will be forever grateful. For just as everyone views their children as extra special, we do the same about her (and our boys). My heart overflowed with complete happiness and I thanked God yet again for all the details he made come to be, to bring this little miracle to me (us).
And another one of my favorite stories from when she was in the hospital was what nurse Rose told me on my second day of visiting her. When we first met Isabelle, we thought we saw her smile a few times during our visit. Knowing that at her age (less than 2 days old) babies don't really smile, I thought she must have gas. When I returned the following day to hold her, nurse Rose came up to me and was doting about how cute, lovable and sweet our baby girl was. Almost as if Isabelle had heard Rose saying those nice things, she smiled. Then Rose said, "You know of all the newborn babies I see, I don't know if I've ever met a baby that smiles so much." Rose continued, " My mom, use to say that when a newborn baby smiles, it is because they can still hear their guardian angel whispering to them from Heaven." and with that, my eyes filled with tears and I cried happy tears all over again. I believe Isabelle's guardian angel was watching out for her and every time I see her smile, I can't help but wonder what her guardian angel is saying to her now.
Until next time,
Angie
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
A few observations...
The boys are in love with Isabelle. From the moment they get home they race in the house to see the baby and when she cries they call me right away.
That being said, some of the things they've said in the last few days make me laugh. For example:
Michael asked, "Mom, can I pet Isabelle?"
Gabriel said, "Mom, why does she look like a boy even though she is a girl?"
As I was giving her a sponge bath Michael said: "Yuck, mom, why does she have poopie on her belly button?" I responded, "Michael that's not poopie honey, that's her umbilical cord, that is how she would eat, before she was born." He responded, "Mom, how did she get pizza to fit in there, it is too small."
Last night when we told Gabriel it was time to go to bed he said, "That's not fair, she is smaller than me and she gets to stay up early (which is there term for "late") and I'm big and I have to go to bed now."
The last few days around here have been quick eventful to say the least. One things for sure, there is a lot of happiness, love and celebration on this Valentines Day!
Until next time,
Angie
That being said, some of the things they've said in the last few days make me laugh. For example:
Michael asked, "Mom, can I pet Isabelle?"
Gabriel said, "Mom, why does she look like a boy even though she is a girl?"
As I was giving her a sponge bath Michael said: "Yuck, mom, why does she have poopie on her belly button?" I responded, "Michael that's not poopie honey, that's her umbilical cord, that is how she would eat, before she was born." He responded, "Mom, how did she get pizza to fit in there, it is too small."
Last night when we told Gabriel it was time to go to bed he said, "That's not fair, she is smaller than me and she gets to stay up early (which is there term for "late") and I'm big and I have to go to bed now."
The last few days around here have been quick eventful to say the least. One things for sure, there is a lot of happiness, love and celebration on this Valentines Day!
Until next time,
Angie
Monday, February 13, 2012
A Beginning Story... Part III
On Friday afternoon, Feb 10, we arrived as a family at the hospital to bring home our little girl.
The boys were so excited they could hardly contain their happiness. I guess we were all feeling that way. Jarrett stayed with the boys and I went back into the nursery to get our final instructions and discharge paperwork.
I've decided that everyone who leaves the hospital with a newborn baby must experience a feeling of nervousness. The thought did cross my mind..."You mean I'm responsible for this little thing that eats, breaths, cries and poops and she's so breakable, really, do you think I'm qualified enough?" I guess the expression must have been pretty visible across my face because Nurse Brooke said, "Don't worry Momma, I've printed out more than 40 pages of instructions you can refer to in case you have questions." With a hug of encouragement, she said, "You will be a wonderful mommy to her, Congratulations."
And just like that, they had spent 10 minutes telling me everything I was suppose to know to keep her thriving and a 40 page document to read in my spare time. Ha- what spare time right?
In our last few minutes of the nursery with the people who loved her and cared for her as their own from the first few minutes of her life, I again cried expressing our thanks and appreciation for loving her so much. The nurses wanted a picture with their baby they nicknamed, "Molly Moo". We hugged for the last time and then they walked us out.
Our little girl was about to begin her new life with us. As the nurse and I reached the car, she opened the door and for the first time the boys met her. Gabriel said, "oh my goodness she is so small." and Michael said, "She's so pretty." In unison they both asked "Can we keep her forever?" to which the nurse replied yes.
The drive home was special and just as we started our journey with the boys, taking them to McDonald's for their first meal with us, we stopped for dinner on the way home at McDonald's too. It wasn't until Jarrett brought it up that I realized how we had just gone full circle.
Our littlest Angel has now been at home with us for the last three days and those days have been more magical and special than any days before. It is having our two wonderful sons, my wonderful husband and how her. My life is 100% complete and we have been blessed.
Life with three children 6 years old and younger is going to be crazy, busy, hectic, you name it. But it is the life I've dreamed about, hoped for and longed to live since I was a little girl.
In the coming days, you can expect to hear a lot more about her but will probably have to wait some time before we can share her picture. Just as it was with the boys, we have to protect her identity and until she is officially ours (the court decides that in 4-5 months), we'll be saving up flash drives of pictures to flood you with later. Please pray for us that she will remain in our lives and be our little girl for her "whole long life" as Michael puts it.
In closing, I wanted to save the best part for last... her name...
Jarrett, Gabriel, Michael and I are excited to announce the addition of
Isabelle Grace Haskovec in our lives.
We picked Isabelle because Jarrett and I have always liked the name and the boys like the name Belle (as in Beauty, from Beauty and the Beast). Since the resounding comments from those who had met her before we did was that she was so beautiful, we thought, Isabelle was a great fit. And Grace is her middle name because we firmly believe that she was brought to us by the Grace of God.
We never expected her, but boy are we glad God brought her to us.
Until next time,
Angie
The boys were so excited they could hardly contain their happiness. I guess we were all feeling that way. Jarrett stayed with the boys and I went back into the nursery to get our final instructions and discharge paperwork.
I've decided that everyone who leaves the hospital with a newborn baby must experience a feeling of nervousness. The thought did cross my mind..."You mean I'm responsible for this little thing that eats, breaths, cries and poops and she's so breakable, really, do you think I'm qualified enough?" I guess the expression must have been pretty visible across my face because Nurse Brooke said, "Don't worry Momma, I've printed out more than 40 pages of instructions you can refer to in case you have questions." With a hug of encouragement, she said, "You will be a wonderful mommy to her, Congratulations."
And just like that, they had spent 10 minutes telling me everything I was suppose to know to keep her thriving and a 40 page document to read in my spare time. Ha- what spare time right?
In our last few minutes of the nursery with the people who loved her and cared for her as their own from the first few minutes of her life, I again cried expressing our thanks and appreciation for loving her so much. The nurses wanted a picture with their baby they nicknamed, "Molly Moo". We hugged for the last time and then they walked us out.
Our little girl was about to begin her new life with us. As the nurse and I reached the car, she opened the door and for the first time the boys met her. Gabriel said, "oh my goodness she is so small." and Michael said, "She's so pretty." In unison they both asked "Can we keep her forever?" to which the nurse replied yes.
The drive home was special and just as we started our journey with the boys, taking them to McDonald's for their first meal with us, we stopped for dinner on the way home at McDonald's too. It wasn't until Jarrett brought it up that I realized how we had just gone full circle.
Our littlest Angel has now been at home with us for the last three days and those days have been more magical and special than any days before. It is having our two wonderful sons, my wonderful husband and how her. My life is 100% complete and we have been blessed.
Life with three children 6 years old and younger is going to be crazy, busy, hectic, you name it. But it is the life I've dreamed about, hoped for and longed to live since I was a little girl.
In the coming days, you can expect to hear a lot more about her but will probably have to wait some time before we can share her picture. Just as it was with the boys, we have to protect her identity and until she is officially ours (the court decides that in 4-5 months), we'll be saving up flash drives of pictures to flood you with later. Please pray for us that she will remain in our lives and be our little girl for her "whole long life" as Michael puts it.
In closing, I wanted to save the best part for last... her name...
Jarrett, Gabriel, Michael and I are excited to announce the addition of
Isabelle Grace Haskovec in our lives.
We picked Isabelle because Jarrett and I have always liked the name and the boys like the name Belle (as in Beauty, from Beauty and the Beast). Since the resounding comments from those who had met her before we did was that she was so beautiful, we thought, Isabelle was a great fit. And Grace is her middle name because we firmly believe that she was brought to us by the Grace of God.
We never expected her, but boy are we glad God brought her to us.
Until next time,
Angie
A Beginning Story... Part II
We said yes.
As I told Carrie, the baby's case worker on the other end of the phone, she respond "Congratulations! I'm so excited to meet you and your family. Diana shared so many wonderful things about your family, this little baby is going to be very lucky. Are you ready to meet her? "
Moments later, we were making plans to meet her in person just an hour and a half later.
As we drove to the hospital with our boys (who we also talked with in making our final decision. They were excited beyond belief just at the option of bringing home a baby), millions of thoughts raced through my mind. I was nervous, I was excited, I was scared, I was happier than I had ever been. It was the same emotions I had when we went to meet our boys.
In some strange way it seemed to be perfect, that we (all 4 of us) were on our way to meet our newest little bundle of joy.
Arriving at the hospital, we met with Nana and Papa who agreed to watch the boys while we went to talk to the case workers and to meet her.
As we exited the elevator we met another caseworker who hugged us and said congratulations. Before you meet her, I want you to know in the 17 years I've been doing placements, I have never seen a more beautiful baby. She is absolutely beautiful.
We quickly learned about her background and how she came to be with us. And then, we were escorted into the nursery to meet our baby. As we turned the corner, and entered the nursery, I saw a group of nurses (4 or 5) all huddled together doting all over a baby, and when the case worked spoke they turned (in almost slow motion) and I saw my first glimpse of my daughter. Just like that, I had fallen in love all over again.
Her beautiful, tiny, porcelain skin and flawless body was wrapped in a blanket and she had her eyes open, almost waiting for our arrival with as much excitement and anticipation as we had for meeting her. I quickly washed my hands, and one of the nurses (who had stayed well beyond the end of her 1:00 p.m. shift end time, just to meet us), handed her over to me and said, "Congratulations. You have a little angel."
Immediately the tears started flowing from my eyes and as I carefully placed her close to my chest and wrapped her tightly in my arms, I could feel the love strains in my heart reaching out of my chest, and embracing her in all her tiny entirety. It was real, I was holding my daughter.
For the next hour we listened as the nurses shared their experiences and interactions with her and doted about how beautiful she is, how pretty her lips are (they compared her to Angelina Jolie), and what name they had given her until the learned what name would be.
That is when one of the nurses asked us if we had picked out a name. I looked at Jarrett, and he looked at me, we smiled and said we hadn't picked out a name yet. In the short time we had learned about the wonderful news, the only decision we had decided for sure, was that we knew more than anything, we wanted to be her parents. Her name would be something we needed more than an hour and a half to decide upon.
Jarrett got to hold her and in that moment watching him connect with and love such a tiny little angel, I fell in love all over with him.
Our hour together went extremely quick and before we knew it we were having to wrap up our visit. We took our first pictures of her, our pictures of the three of us together (our first family picture with all of us, would have to wait). And we made plans to come back the next day for another visit.
And in just that short amount of time, we had been smitten and leaving her behind was difficult. We left the hospital and went to meet Nana, Papa and the boys who were just as excited. After giving them the recap and driving home, I couldn't stop thinking about her, about us, about what our new family would be like.
Every few moments, my mind would go back to relive everything that had just happened and then I'd grab our camera turn it on an look at the pictures of her. Could this really be happening? Could my dream be coming true again?
As you can imagine that night I don't think I slept for more than an hour. We were told to get as much sleep as we could, but seriously how could one sleep when there was so much to do, so much to think about , so much to be thankful for.
The next day, Thursday I went into work and shared the shocking news with my colleagues and my boss. I'm truly at a loss for words, to express my appreciation at how supportive they were/are. Who do I think I am telling them with less than one day to prepare that we were going to be parents and I'd like to take some time off again. I was met with their overwhelming support and for that, I am thankful.
Thursday afternoon I went back up to the hospital to see her and to spend time bonding with her. She was more precious than I remember and we learned that the very next day we'd be taking her home. Most people have 9 months to plan, we had 48 hours and all we had was a bottle of baby lotion the boys didn't want to use.
We called some of our friends and it seemed like within minutes our house went from a home with a 6 and 4 year old boys to a home ready and waiting for a newborn little girl. So many friends offered to help, and as I type this, her room is stocked and ready for almost any need she would have. The outpouring of support again, is overwhelming and I find myself asking, "Do we deserve such kindness?" We are so thankful.
On Thursday night we made our final arrangements and then prepared for the next day, the day we would bring home our baby girl...
Stay tuned...
Until next time,
Angie
As I told Carrie, the baby's case worker on the other end of the phone, she respond "Congratulations! I'm so excited to meet you and your family. Diana shared so many wonderful things about your family, this little baby is going to be very lucky. Are you ready to meet her? "
Moments later, we were making plans to meet her in person just an hour and a half later.
As we drove to the hospital with our boys (who we also talked with in making our final decision. They were excited beyond belief just at the option of bringing home a baby), millions of thoughts raced through my mind. I was nervous, I was excited, I was scared, I was happier than I had ever been. It was the same emotions I had when we went to meet our boys.
In some strange way it seemed to be perfect, that we (all 4 of us) were on our way to meet our newest little bundle of joy.
Arriving at the hospital, we met with Nana and Papa who agreed to watch the boys while we went to talk to the case workers and to meet her.
As we exited the elevator we met another caseworker who hugged us and said congratulations. Before you meet her, I want you to know in the 17 years I've been doing placements, I have never seen a more beautiful baby. She is absolutely beautiful.
We quickly learned about her background and how she came to be with us. And then, we were escorted into the nursery to meet our baby. As we turned the corner, and entered the nursery, I saw a group of nurses (4 or 5) all huddled together doting all over a baby, and when the case worked spoke they turned (in almost slow motion) and I saw my first glimpse of my daughter. Just like that, I had fallen in love all over again.
Her beautiful, tiny, porcelain skin and flawless body was wrapped in a blanket and she had her eyes open, almost waiting for our arrival with as much excitement and anticipation as we had for meeting her. I quickly washed my hands, and one of the nurses (who had stayed well beyond the end of her 1:00 p.m. shift end time, just to meet us), handed her over to me and said, "Congratulations. You have a little angel."
Immediately the tears started flowing from my eyes and as I carefully placed her close to my chest and wrapped her tightly in my arms, I could feel the love strains in my heart reaching out of my chest, and embracing her in all her tiny entirety. It was real, I was holding my daughter.
For the next hour we listened as the nurses shared their experiences and interactions with her and doted about how beautiful she is, how pretty her lips are (they compared her to Angelina Jolie), and what name they had given her until the learned what name would be.
That is when one of the nurses asked us if we had picked out a name. I looked at Jarrett, and he looked at me, we smiled and said we hadn't picked out a name yet. In the short time we had learned about the wonderful news, the only decision we had decided for sure, was that we knew more than anything, we wanted to be her parents. Her name would be something we needed more than an hour and a half to decide upon.
Jarrett got to hold her and in that moment watching him connect with and love such a tiny little angel, I fell in love all over with him.
Our hour together went extremely quick and before we knew it we were having to wrap up our visit. We took our first pictures of her, our pictures of the three of us together (our first family picture with all of us, would have to wait). And we made plans to come back the next day for another visit.
And in just that short amount of time, we had been smitten and leaving her behind was difficult. We left the hospital and went to meet Nana, Papa and the boys who were just as excited. After giving them the recap and driving home, I couldn't stop thinking about her, about us, about what our new family would be like.
Every few moments, my mind would go back to relive everything that had just happened and then I'd grab our camera turn it on an look at the pictures of her. Could this really be happening? Could my dream be coming true again?
As you can imagine that night I don't think I slept for more than an hour. We were told to get as much sleep as we could, but seriously how could one sleep when there was so much to do, so much to think about , so much to be thankful for.
The next day, Thursday I went into work and shared the shocking news with my colleagues and my boss. I'm truly at a loss for words, to express my appreciation at how supportive they were/are. Who do I think I am telling them with less than one day to prepare that we were going to be parents and I'd like to take some time off again. I was met with their overwhelming support and for that, I am thankful.
Thursday afternoon I went back up to the hospital to see her and to spend time bonding with her. She was more precious than I remember and we learned that the very next day we'd be taking her home. Most people have 9 months to plan, we had 48 hours and all we had was a bottle of baby lotion the boys didn't want to use.
We called some of our friends and it seemed like within minutes our house went from a home with a 6 and 4 year old boys to a home ready and waiting for a newborn little girl. So many friends offered to help, and as I type this, her room is stocked and ready for almost any need she would have. The outpouring of support again, is overwhelming and I find myself asking, "Do we deserve such kindness?" We are so thankful.
On Thursday night we made our final arrangements and then prepared for the next day, the day we would bring home our baby girl...
Stay tuned...
Until next time,
Angie
Sunday, February 12, 2012
A Beginning Story...
Most mom's have a birth story about their baby. We have a beginning story.
On Wednesday, Feb, 8 I woke up not knowing our lives would be completely different at the end of the day. Thinking back to that morning, I try to remember what I was feeling, what I was thinking as I drove to work, ate lunch, and went about my day. The truth is, most of those details were so normal, I don't remember them. I will however remember Feb 8 as the day our life changed (for the better) forever.
As I was leaving work my phone rang. Looking down at the caller ID, I saw that it was our adoption agency calling. We were scheduled to attend a class at the agency that night, so I assumed it was our reminder call. I was not right. It was instead our case worker, calling us to let us know that our family had been invited to a red file staffing and that she was calling to let us know that we, our family, had been chosen.
This is where, I'll back up and provide a little background information. From the moment Jarrett and I knew "we" would form a "forever", more than 13 years ago, we talked about being parents. We talked about names and we talked about how great we thought each other would be as a daddy and mommy. We also talked about how many children we wanted. He wanted to have three (being one of three himself) and I wanted to have four (of course, since I was one of four).
Fast forward several years and through terrible struggles with infertility and the reality that bearing children our self was not the plan God had for us. Looking back now, I can't think of a more perfect way to become parents than the way we did, but at the time going through struggle and heartache after heartache, was unbearable.
And then adoption became a part of our life. A part so important, I think in some ways I was put on this earth to be an advocate for it. As you know, almost 2 years ago, 2 beautiful little boys walked into our lives. And our lives have been blessed everyday since. As we adjusted to our life with Gabriel and Michael, the discussions about if we were going to try for more children, eventually started seeping back into our (Jarrett and my) conversations.
Really feeling blessed with the 2 boys we have, we both agreed that if God said we were done having children, we were completely comfortable with that. We did however feel called to grow our family possibly with the addition of another little one at some point down the road.
After meeting with our case worker and talking to her about what our ultimate dream was, she suggested we go back on the registry because our dream in adoption terms, seemed almost to be an impossibility. She told us that our wait would be years and so this past month (January) Jarrett and I activated our family's file with hope and faith that by the Grace of God, our dream would be answered.
"What?" I responded as Diana expressed her congratulations. And now, I could hardly believe what she was telling me. We had been chosen for a baby girl. As she shared the highlights with me, I honestly could hardly process what she was saying. I was still stuck on her first statement, "Angie, your family was chosen." I don't remember exactly what I said to her, however I do remember and know it was completely jumbled words and expressions of shock, followed my more expressions of shock, followed by more expressions of shock. (I have since called her back to apologize).
After she wrapped up what she had to tell me, she passed the phone over to another case worker so that I could get additional information from her. Still in a state of shock, and fumbling over my words and reactions, I heard the baby's case worker, tell me that I needed to talk to my husband and to call her back by 6:00 p.m. with our decision if we were going to say yes or no. Yes, it was 4:45 p.m. at this point and we had to let her know by 6:00 p.m. if we were going to become parents again.
Oh my Goodness, this is crazy. WOW, this is just so crazy. Crazy, I can't believe this is happening.
That is all I could say. It didn't matter if I was talking to a case worker or Jarrett. Those were the only statements that my brain could spit out and they just kept coming out one after another.
The next hour and a half were chaotic to say the least. Jarrett, was still at work, and when I called, I said, "You have to come home NOW." and then proceeded to tell him the news. Although surprised, he was actually pretty calm about it, which thankfully calmed me down a bit. I couldn't control the million thoughts racing through my head.
While Jarrett raced home, the phone calls from this case worker, and that case worker, and another case worker (seriously, there are so many), called me to say congratulations and to share additional details. Then they said, "We'd like you to be able to meet her tonight, if you can come to the hospital that would be great."
When Jarrett walked through the door, we immediately hugged, which reassured me everything would work out. For the next 20 minutes we talked about everything we could cover and at 6:01 p.m., we called Carrie back to say, "Yes."
to be continued...
until next time,
angie
On Wednesday, Feb, 8 I woke up not knowing our lives would be completely different at the end of the day. Thinking back to that morning, I try to remember what I was feeling, what I was thinking as I drove to work, ate lunch, and went about my day. The truth is, most of those details were so normal, I don't remember them. I will however remember Feb 8 as the day our life changed (for the better) forever.
As I was leaving work my phone rang. Looking down at the caller ID, I saw that it was our adoption agency calling. We were scheduled to attend a class at the agency that night, so I assumed it was our reminder call. I was not right. It was instead our case worker, calling us to let us know that our family had been invited to a red file staffing and that she was calling to let us know that we, our family, had been chosen.
This is where, I'll back up and provide a little background information. From the moment Jarrett and I knew "we" would form a "forever", more than 13 years ago, we talked about being parents. We talked about names and we talked about how great we thought each other would be as a daddy and mommy. We also talked about how many children we wanted. He wanted to have three (being one of three himself) and I wanted to have four (of course, since I was one of four).
Fast forward several years and through terrible struggles with infertility and the reality that bearing children our self was not the plan God had for us. Looking back now, I can't think of a more perfect way to become parents than the way we did, but at the time going through struggle and heartache after heartache, was unbearable.
And then adoption became a part of our life. A part so important, I think in some ways I was put on this earth to be an advocate for it. As you know, almost 2 years ago, 2 beautiful little boys walked into our lives. And our lives have been blessed everyday since. As we adjusted to our life with Gabriel and Michael, the discussions about if we were going to try for more children, eventually started seeping back into our (Jarrett and my) conversations.
Really feeling blessed with the 2 boys we have, we both agreed that if God said we were done having children, we were completely comfortable with that. We did however feel called to grow our family possibly with the addition of another little one at some point down the road.
After meeting with our case worker and talking to her about what our ultimate dream was, she suggested we go back on the registry because our dream in adoption terms, seemed almost to be an impossibility. She told us that our wait would be years and so this past month (January) Jarrett and I activated our family's file with hope and faith that by the Grace of God, our dream would be answered.
"What?" I responded as Diana expressed her congratulations. And now, I could hardly believe what she was telling me. We had been chosen for a baby girl. As she shared the highlights with me, I honestly could hardly process what she was saying. I was still stuck on her first statement, "Angie, your family was chosen." I don't remember exactly what I said to her, however I do remember and know it was completely jumbled words and expressions of shock, followed my more expressions of shock, followed by more expressions of shock. (I have since called her back to apologize).
After she wrapped up what she had to tell me, she passed the phone over to another case worker so that I could get additional information from her. Still in a state of shock, and fumbling over my words and reactions, I heard the baby's case worker, tell me that I needed to talk to my husband and to call her back by 6:00 p.m. with our decision if we were going to say yes or no. Yes, it was 4:45 p.m. at this point and we had to let her know by 6:00 p.m. if we were going to become parents again.
Oh my Goodness, this is crazy. WOW, this is just so crazy. Crazy, I can't believe this is happening.
That is all I could say. It didn't matter if I was talking to a case worker or Jarrett. Those were the only statements that my brain could spit out and they just kept coming out one after another.
The next hour and a half were chaotic to say the least. Jarrett, was still at work, and when I called, I said, "You have to come home NOW." and then proceeded to tell him the news. Although surprised, he was actually pretty calm about it, which thankfully calmed me down a bit. I couldn't control the million thoughts racing through my head.
While Jarrett raced home, the phone calls from this case worker, and that case worker, and another case worker (seriously, there are so many), called me to say congratulations and to share additional details. Then they said, "We'd like you to be able to meet her tonight, if you can come to the hospital that would be great."
When Jarrett walked through the door, we immediately hugged, which reassured me everything would work out. For the next 20 minutes we talked about everything we could cover and at 6:01 p.m., we called Carrie back to say, "Yes."
to be continued...
until next time,
angie
Friday, February 10, 2012
Fortune Cookie....
Several months ago when Jarrett came home from work, he brought home a bag from Pei Wei along with empty containters and the fortune from his fortune cookie. Given that Chinese food is one of Jarrett's favorites, I was not too surprised to see the Pei Wei bag. I was on the other hand, surprised that Jarrett brought home his fortune. Jarrett isn't much for desserts or sweets so usually he doesn't even take the fortune cookie. For some reason, that day he did.
He made it a point to show it to me and he said, "I thought this fortune was pretty special and something we should keep." So for the last several months that fortune has been perched on the counter in our kitchen. We walk by it daily, and I think I've read it at least 100 times, not thinking anything of it.
Honestly, several times in the last few months, as I tidy up the kitchen and clean off the counters, I've thought about tossing it. Why would we save such a tiny piece of paper, when Lord knows, we have enough papers sitting around waiting to be sorted. For some reason, I just couldn't bring myself to toss the fortune.
Are you interested in what the fortune said?
More details to come!
Until next time,
angie
He made it a point to show it to me and he said, "I thought this fortune was pretty special and something we should keep." So for the last several months that fortune has been perched on the counter in our kitchen. We walk by it daily, and I think I've read it at least 100 times, not thinking anything of it.
Honestly, several times in the last few months, as I tidy up the kitchen and clean off the counters, I've thought about tossing it. Why would we save such a tiny piece of paper, when Lord knows, we have enough papers sitting around waiting to be sorted. For some reason, I just couldn't bring myself to toss the fortune.
Are you interested in what the fortune said?
More details to come!
Until next time,
angie
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