A Beginning Story...

Most mom's have a birth story about their baby. We have a beginning story.

On Wednesday, Feb, 8 I woke up not knowing our lives would be completely different at the end of the day.  Thinking back to that morning, I try to remember what I was feeling, what I was thinking as I drove to work, ate lunch, and went about my day.  The truth is, most of those details were so normal, I don't remember them.  I will however remember Feb 8 as the day our life changed (for the better) forever. 

As I was leaving work my phone rang.  Looking down at the caller ID, I saw that it was our adoption agency calling.  We were scheduled to attend a class at the agency that night, so I assumed it was our reminder call.  I was not right.  It was instead our case worker, calling us to let us know that our family had been invited to a red file staffing and that she was calling to let us know that we, our family, had been chosen.

This is where, I'll back up and provide a little background information.  From the moment Jarrett and I knew "we" would form a "forever", more than 13 years ago, we talked about being parents.  We talked about names and we talked about how great we thought each other would be as a daddy and mommy.  We also talked about how many children we wanted.  He wanted to have three (being one of three himself) and I wanted to have four (of course, since I was one of four). 

Fast forward several years and through terrible struggles with infertility and the reality that bearing children our self was not the plan God had for us.  Looking back now, I can't think of a more perfect way to become parents than the way we did, but at the time going through struggle and heartache after heartache, was unbearable. 

And then adoption became a part of our life.  A part so important, I think in some ways I was put on this earth to be an advocate for it.  As you know, almost 2 years ago, 2 beautiful little boys walked into our lives.  And our lives have been blessed everyday since.  As we adjusted to our life with Gabriel and Michael, the discussions about if we were going to try for more children, eventually started seeping back into our (Jarrett and my) conversations.

Really feeling blessed with the 2 boys we have, we both agreed that if God said we were done having children, we were completely comfortable with that.  We did however feel called to grow our family possibly with the addition of another little one at some point down the road.

After meeting with our case worker and talking to her about what our ultimate dream was, she suggested we go back on the registry because our dream in adoption terms, seemed almost to be an impossibility.  She told us that our wait would be years and so this past month (January) Jarrett and I activated our family's file with hope and faith that by the Grace of God, our dream would be answered.

"What?"  I responded as Diana expressed her congratulations.  And now, I could hardly believe what she was telling me.  We had been chosen for a baby girl.  As she shared the highlights with me, I honestly could hardly process what she was saying.  I was still stuck on her first statement, "Angie, your family was chosen."  I don't remember exactly what I said to her, however I do remember and know it was completely jumbled words and expressions of shock, followed my more expressions of shock, followed by more expressions of shock.  (I have since called her back to apologize).  

After she wrapped up what she had to tell me, she passed the phone over to another case worker so that I could get additional information from her. Still in a state of shock, and fumbling over my words and reactions, I heard the baby's case worker, tell me that I needed to talk to my husband and to call her back by 6:00 p.m. with our decision if we were going to say yes or no.  Yes, it was 4:45 p.m. at this point and we had to let her know by 6:00 p.m. if we were going to become parents again.

Oh my Goodness, this is crazy.  WOW, this is just so crazy.  Crazy, I can't believe this is happening.

That is all I could say.  It didn't matter if I was talking to a case worker or Jarrett.  Those were the only statements that my brain could spit out and they just kept coming out one after another.

The next hour and a half were chaotic to say the least.  Jarrett, was still at work, and when I called, I said,  "You have to come home NOW."  and then proceeded to tell him the news.  Although surprised, he was actually pretty calm about it, which thankfully calmed me down a bit.  I couldn't control the million thoughts racing through my head.

While Jarrett raced home, the phone calls from this case worker, and that case worker, and another case worker (seriously, there are so many), called me to say congratulations and to share additional details.  Then they said,  "We'd like you to be able to meet her tonight, if you can come to the hospital that would be great."

When Jarrett walked through the door, we immediately hugged, which reassured me everything would work out.  For the next 20 minutes we talked about everything we could cover and at 6:01 p.m., we called Carrie back to say, "Yes."

to be continued...

until next time,
angie