Where did my babies go?

Tonight I was looking back through some old pictures for my sister and I came across all the pictures I've taken in the last 3 years.  As I clicked from one album to the next I kept thinking, "man they've grown so fast and it has gone so quickly.... where have my babies gone?'  It is crazy to me to think that just a few short years ago Gabriel and Michael were so little. 

 

I can still remember the overwhelming feeling of love I had for them from the first moment of meeting them.  It is a love that has only grown stronger and in some ways it feels as though my life didn't truly begin until my eyes met theirs.

I'll love you always and forever Gabriel and Michael. Even though you're growing up so quickly, you'll always be my babies. okay?
Love, your mom

Our Babies-R-Us Adventure

Today the crew (all three kiddos) and I made a return trip back to Babies-R-Us after determining they had charged me for an extra box of diapers  more than what I actually got.  And while the boys weren't thrilled with having to load up and go for another errand after just getting home from school, I explained to them that we were owed money, money needed to possibly do fun things with them and soon enough we were off.  Gabriel seemed to grasp the concept of getting our money back and Michael I think interpreted it as I didn't have enough money to pay them so we had to go back to give them more.  I pretty sure that was his interpretation after he so unselfishly offered to give up all the money in his compliment jar to help us buy diapers.  (Reason number 1, 456, 999 I love that child). 
On our drive there I attempted to retell the scenario that happened earlier in the day when I actually got the diapers.  Gabriel, mid-way through my story, interjected, "Mom, have you ever had a $100 bill?"  Pausing my story I answered, "Yes, Gabriel, I have, why?"  "Mom you should bring it along so you can give them the $100 and they could give you back 50 -$1.00 bills" Continuing on, "Then you'll have more money!"  Note to self, explain to the boys that just because you have more bills doesn't mean you have more money than a larger bill. 

Driving into the parking lot and getting ready to now explain the value of each bill, I put the car into park, instructed everyone to pile out.  Michael looked at the store front and said, "Oh I know mom what happened Mom, we're getting our money back from when Dad got the diapers."  "Ah no Michael, remember I said I went to get the diapers earlier today when you were in school.  Remember Dad's been gone all week and the last time he got diapers here was before Christmas."  Moments later my story or explanation didn't matter because Michael found a piece of trash on the ground and his super hero alter-ego (Save the Earth Michael) took over.  Soon he was racing all over the parking lot picking up all the trash he could find.  If you're reading this thinking we look like a circus act going from one place to another, you're pretty much picturing it as it really does happen.

Inside the store I try to explain to the clerk what happened.  As Isabelle screams because she didn't want to be in her car seat, Michael picked up every single item he could and asked me to buy it. In between the clerk asking me what pack of diapers I didn't get and verifying that they could refund my money, I was asked question after question... "Mom- can we get this hand sanitizer?" No Michael we already have that. "Mom- can we get this pop rocks candy- you told me I can have candy?"  No Michael- I told you, you could have a piece of your Valentine's Candy at home. "Mom- can we have this lotion (which was actually some sort of nursing mother nipple cream).  I think we really need this" No Michael- we do not need that.  Please do not touch anything else.  Stand here and listen please.  Finally getting our money back, I gave the word, "Okay guys let's go!"  To which Gabriel says, loud enough for the clerk to hear "Mom- that's good they gave you, the money back and you didn't even have to get mad or yell at them!"  Oops maybe my internal thought on the way to the store actually slipped out. 

Back in the car we piled and straight shot for home we started.  Stopping at the stop light before crossing the interstate, the car was quiet except for Isabelle, she talks, screams or makes noises all the time.  I guess the boys and I were in our own thoughts.  As I waited for the light to turn green, Gabriel said "Mom- (pointing to the cars in the far right lane turning right on red- look at those cars.  They're not even stopping.  To which we all looked that way as Gabriel became the play-by-play announcer... Red truck... Look he didn't stop, Gray Toyota- she didn't stop either.  Oh my goodness, that person didn't even slow down.  (followed by car after car after car, all who didn't seem to stop before turning).  Gabriel said "Man mom, there are a lot of bad drivers!!!!!"  Mom-its a good thing you're a pretty good driver, you stop on red and you only drive really really fast, when we are late for school and your work and if you don't see a police car around.

The story above is just a glimpst into the daily crazyiness that is our lives.  I share it because my kids make me laugh, make me smile and also becuase these are the moments, I know I'll come to miss.  Although a silly errand to reclaim money owed is nothing for the record books, the silly questions, the saving-the earth efforts, and the screaming in the backseat as I drive, are all things that make my life so blessed.  And I share it today, so I can look back and always remember just how wonderful this time in my life is.

Until next time,
Angie

My little helper

On most days when I am able to stay home with Isabelle, we have a lengthy list of chores to get done.  And while I'd love to sit and play all day, the laundry piles never seem to end and the dishes, well, they always seem to fill our counter quietly shouting out at me "I  need to be washed!"

And while Isabelle enjoys playing with her "toys , I honestly share that some of her favorite go-to toys, really aren't toys at all.  The dishwasher is a great play toy... she LOVES to pull all the silverware out one by one and toss them on the floor.  If they are just cleaned and mom is putting dishes away, its okay to toss them on the floor.  But when she gets really excited is when they are all dirty, covered in food remnants, that's when the high shrieks and shrills of screams come out as they bounce across the floor.  And it isn't just the dishwasher that's fun.  Another favorite past time is climbing up the stove and standing on the bottom drawer handle to see what's on top of the stove.  Yes, you can see she is following right in Michael's footsteps in seeking out danger.  And the laundry, oh what a helper she is.  Actually she is.  She helps me load the clothes from the dryer into the basket, and then sits on top of the clothes while I carry them to the couch to be folded.  And then when it comes to socks.... well instead of me telling you all about it.  I'll just let the video do the talking...

She's growing up right in front of my eyes.  When did my baby learn to understand what mom's doing when folding the clothes and how does she already know what "cheese" means?  Could it be mom takes a lot of pictures?

Until next time,
Angie

I found it!

i wrote this last week after a wonderfully rainy day in the desert.  for some reason i didn't get around to posting it.  i'm guessing i was interrupted; that happens in my life sometimes. :-)

As I biked into work today, the brisk, moisture-filled wind slid down the back of my neck and I felt the rain hit me in the forehead. I couldn’t help it; I smiled. It didn’t matter that the temperature was a cold 43 degrees and that is was raining. I smiled.
I arrived at work and fumbled with my bike lock, something now a week into practice and I still can’t figure out how to use. I calmly sighed, took the piece that connects with the bar apart and again attempted to secure my new and reliable means of transportation, my bike. I smiled. Three flights of stairs (for this out-of-shape, 30-something mom) later, I found myself still smiling. I rounded the corner toward the front office door and with my reflection peering back at me through the clear window, I realized the person staring back at me was the person, I worried, I had lost.
I’m happy and so extremely thankful for finding something I realize now, I had so desperately missed. I’ve found my balance.
We’ve all heard about balance and the importance of maintaining it in one’s life. A few months ago, I participated in a meeting, maybe I should say support group, with other working parents where the topic of discussion was about finding balance in the middle of chaos. I remember laughing to myself, thinking how in the world will I find time to incorporate balance in my life, I hardly have time to spend 3 minutes brushing my teeth. More exhausted, overwhelmed and stressed than I’d ever been, I knew the time was coming. With each passing day of chasing down chaos and fighting to stay above water, I had succumb to the realization that my unbalanced life had gotten the better of me, more importantly to us, my family, and something had to change.
As a little girl picturing what my future would look like, there were two things, I knew no matter what, I had to achieve. Two goals that I knew in my core would make me the person I wanted more than anything to be. While some dream of being president and others CEO’s of billion dollar companies, my dream was to be the Co-CEO of a family and a marriage. My sights were set on being a mom and a wife. I know some people would say I should strive for something different, for accomplishments more worthy of admiration and praise. And I’m okay with others thinking that of my goals. I believe we are all put on this earth to do different things and at the end of my life, the most important thing to me is not the title I possessed or the salary I took to the bank. I want my life to be defined by the love I shared with my partner and by the unending support, the encouragement, praise, and guidance I’ve poured into three little people who God gave me to love. THAT is my purpose.
I finally feel I am at a point where I am able to fulfill my purpose in life. The opportunity to work part-time has given me insight into what it means to have balance in one’s life. While at work I feel I still have a purpose, I’m helping students and contributing to the goals of the office I belong to. While at home I’m contributing to my family and to the goals of our organization.
The change in our lives over the past three weeks, is remarkable. It is a change visible in all of our lives, there is time, there is happiness, there is peace. There is time to do homework, to play, to read and to celebrate just being together. There is happiness. Happiness in the simple stuff… visiting the library, finding cool rocks in the backyard, fort making in the living room, and the return of silly, giggle tickle times that as the boys put it (Mommy I didn’t think we’d play like this anymore). There is peace. Peace that was invisible in the weeks/months before. Peace to play silly games, to enjoy homemade dinners, and even races to fold the laundry the fastest… together.
I realize the ability to work part time is truly a gift and one I will be forever, forever grateful for. I am extremely thankful for my husband’s support for without him and his commitment to our family, I know, I’d still be struggling to juggle the many balls in the air (I’ve never been that great of a juggler).
If one key to happiness in life is finding a balance, I’ve learned it isn’t always easy to do but that doesn’t mean it isn’t important to find. I'm so happy to have found it, and I never want to forget just how special, how important this gift is.
Until next time,

angie

Family Fall Photos

A few months ago, we had our family pictures taken again.  Partially becuase the kids seem to grow and change as fast as we change our socks, and partially becuase our friend Ashley West is such a wonderful photographer. 

Here's a sneak peak at some of my favorite ones!...

until next time,
angie

Look who can feed herself with a spoon?

Yep, that's right... Belle can.  It's  definitely not pretty and she makes a huge mess, but we celebrate anyway!

Until next time,
angie