The moments I'm missing....

I've officially been balancing two jobs and trying to be a good mom for six months and honestly I feel exhausted, overwhelmed and sad that I'm missing out on so much with the kids.  On the days I'm gone to the hospital I feel like I don't even see the kids...I leave before they wake up (or I wake them up and walk out the door) and when I get home the are usually in bed or close to it.  It makes my heart hurt that I'm not there as often as I want to be and as much as having another job has helped our family, I desperately feel I'm missing out on seeing my family.  

Here are a few moments that I snapped over the holidays....

I worked on Christmas and the two following days... the first time in my life I didn't spend the holidays with my family.  It has given me a whole new appreciation for those who sacrifice their family moments to be with others in their time of need.

The kids were still happy that Christmas came!  (this picture from last year was a clear reminder to me that time doesn't stop and babies don't stay babies for long).

Look how much they've grown!

I try to give myself grace....somedays it works.... other days the guilt is great.  

And on those days.... we let the kids eat peanut butter directly from the jar because I'd rather spend moments together and not sweat the little things.

 Until next time,

Angie

In the middle of it...

 A few weeks ago, one of my dear friends sent me this picture she saw from her front driveway.  Isn't it incredible?  I've never seen a rainbow that looks like its intermixed within the clouds.  I've looked at this photo so many times and every time I see something new that amazes me.

It's so beautiful and its so unique, its difference adds to its beauty.  

Right now we are in the middle of what feels like one of the craziest times in our lives.  Our kids are super active and we are doing our best to keep up with them.  On top of that, Jarrett continues to work his very busy job and just started a new graduate program.  I'm not a month into my second job as a nurse while still keeping my other job and honestly... we are exhausted.  I should go to bed instead of writing this but I just wanted to jot this down.

I know this time in our life is fleeting... the kids grow and change everyday.  I'm more tired than I've been in a while and my goal honestly is to just get through the next 11 months (til I get a year of experience and can drop the "new nurse" title or at least I hope so.  Right now it kind of feels like we are in the middle of a hectic storm and I'm searching for the rainbow at the end of the hard storm, so I can just stop, rest and soak up the beauty in seeing how far we've come.

I think that's why I appreciate this photo so much... because in the midst of the clouds that brings the storm, is the beauty of the rainbow.  

So just keep going, that's what we will try to do.  But for tonight I've done all I can do.  Time for bed.

Until next time,

Angie

When you accidently swallow your tooth..

 Madelyn has become quite familiar with the tooth fairy lately, having lost her first tooth just a couple of weeks ago and then last week she lost her second front tooth on the way home from school.  Actually we aren't quite sure where she lost it because were about 99% sure we swallowed it, but still want to believe maybe it fell out some other place and she just didn't realize this.  

As you can imagine this was quite traumatic for her and she not only was a little grossed out by the idea that maybe she swallowed her tooth, but what was even more concerning was the fear that the tooth fairy wouldn't leave her any money because she didn't have a tooth to put out for exchanged. 

We searched all over, the car, the bathroom, the shower, her bedroom, the kitchen, the laundry... no tooth.  I told Madelyn, who I could tell was on the verge of tears, that it would be okay.  That she wasn't the first kid to ever lose a tooth and then lose the tooth and that I believed if she just wrote the tooth-fairy a note, that I'm sure the fairy would still leave her money because she was honest about what happened.

Madelyn immediately ran upstairs, into her artist liar (aka bedroom) and she got to work.  I could tell she was working quite hard on her letter because it took quite a while.   When she came down she ran up to me for a hug and that's when I noticed her tears.  "Mom, I'm so sad" she said as she sobbed into my leg.  "What if the tooth fairy doesn't come?"  I tried to reassure her and encourage her that it would all be alright but she was definitely pretty sad. 

That night when I went upstairs to tuck her in I found her masterpiece letter to the tooth fairy.  She has made this...

As you see in the picture she drew a picture of her inside intestines with the tooth inside to explain to the tooth fairy where the tooth went.  And then she cut out a tiny piece of paper the size of her tooth and put it inside another card so the tooth fairy would know what it looked like.  Isn't this super adorable?

That night when we went to sleep I reassured her it would all be okay and while she tried to believe what we shared, it was clear she wasn't 100% sure.  

Thankfully the next morning when I woke her up, her worries were resolved because the tooth fairy did in fact come and her money was on the beautiful drawing she had left.

So in case you ever have to worry about what happens if you swallow your tooth, you can remind your little people that the tooth fairy will still come, just write a letter, draw a picture and let her know what happened.  No need to fear!

Until next time,

Angie

Introducing Anchor Izzy!

Friday afternoon when I picked up Isabelle (or Izzy as she goes at school), she shared with me some super exciting news.  She has been selected by the administration at the school to be one of three anchors for their daily News Crew.  This is a "very important job" Isabelle shared because it is their duty to report, on camera, to the entire school the daily announcements.  She has to arrive early, report live and make sure she is ready to "go" when the time is right.  

Isabelle is super excited and we are so proud of her because she put herself out there to try something new.  She said, "Mom - being on camera in front of the whole school will make me so nervous, but I think it will help me to build skills I need in my future!"  I'm so proud of her for not being afraid to try something new and I can't wait to hear how it goes!

We are so excited and proud of you Belle!  Way to go!

Love you always, 

Mom and Dad

 

19 years!

19 years ago today Jarrett and I got married.

It was such a fun day and I remember being so happy as the magical day came to an end.

Today was such an uneventful day.... we both worked long long days, after not a lot of sleep (thanks to our two little guys- Jarrett stayed up pretty much all night, because I had to work 12 hours at the hospital), and honestly we are both exhausted and too tired to even celebrate.

We are in the middle of the time of our life where we don't get much time with each other and we are dedicated to spending most of our day/week/month and years to helping the kids and working so we can keep the train rolling ahead.

These days are exhausting and I think we'd both like a date night... if nothing else just to sleep! 

Someday we will look back on these times and miss them.  Right now, they are tiring and sometimes hard.

Even though we don't get a lot of time together and won't even be celebrating this year, I'm ever so grateful that I get to spend my life with him and that 19 years ago saying "I do" is one of the best blessings to be given to me.

So happy Anniversary Jarrett.... for this anniversary.... I wish you a restful night of sleep.

Love you,

Angie

Back to school Sunday at church!

Today at church we celebrated Back to School Sunday, complete with a mini-festival following service.  It was lovely!  The kids LOVED the ice cream treats and the service was especially moving.... talking about the importance of our foundation in God for all we do and all we have.

At the beginning of the service, the girls went up to be prayed over for a safe and successful year.  Michael being in high school decided he didn't need to go up front, to which the pastor immediately noticed and then decided to draw Michael into the service by making him read all the passage readings outloud, without any advanced warning, in front of the congregation.  Michael did a nice job and handled being put on the spot with out pausing for a moment.  

It was a lovely family day for us.  As we decided to take the kids to Bass Pro Shop to look at the animals, then to lunch and home to swim.  With me working two jobs now, I'm trying to be very present in every moment I get to have at home and not working.  It is moments like today's time together that I give thanks for and are so grateful for my family.

As you can see, trying to get one group photo where they are all looking and smiling is impossible, so instead I'll just share all of these because it's like a live video of the chaos that is our life and what I love so much.

Until next time,

Angie

 

Michael's first day of school

Michael started his sophomore year  today and I can't even believe how fast the summer went.

I'm so proud of Michael and his maturity, determination and overall... just being a good person.

He is excited about what the year will bring and he is so happy to be playing sports again. He is on the football team and loving having a great group of friends to hang with.

He's got a very challenging semester with a lot of hard classes, but we hope he will continue to do his best and find lots of success.

We wish you a wonderful year Michael! 

Love you always and know Dad and I will be here to support you forever.

Until next time,

Mom and Dad