My other life...

Last night Gabriel got to stay up a little bit later than Michael and instead of cleaning up something or letting Gabriel watch a few minutes of TV, I decided to just sit on the couch and talk to him.

He sat next to me and as we looked at the Christmas tree, he made a comment about his other life.  It didn't take me long to realize he was talking about his life before his us and his foster parents.  It had been over a year ago since he last mentioned anything about his first family.  Jarrett and I both agree that we want the boys to know that we are always okay with them talking about their life before us as it is a part of their identity and a very important one at that.  As soon as Gabriel said his other life, I responded, "Gabriel tell me about your other life?" and just like that he started talking and couldn't stop.  Almost as if a flood gate had opened.

Gabriel talked about the people in his life and how he felt about them.  I could tell as he talked that the memories were somewhat fuzzy as he'd be talking very quickly about something, stop mid-sentence, pause and then would say, "Mom, I can't remember."  Then he'd pick right back up in the story and share in detail certain aspects that left a very clear impression.  It was heart-warming to hear his story and the love he had in his eyes for the people he talked about reminded me about the loss both he and his brother have endured.  He then said, "I miss my other life, but Mom, I love my new life.  Is that okay?"  I responded, "Absolutely honey.  You know you and Michael are very special in that you have more than one family.  Most people only get to have one.  Do you know how special that makes you?" 

 A few minutes later as I was tucking him into bed, he gave me a hug and said, "Mom, did you like to hear stories of my other life?" I then told him that he can talk about those memories anytime he wants and that I like to hear them.  I'm not sure, but I think it was a really good thing that happened last night, because this morning when Gabriel greeted me at o-dark hours (really early in the morning), the first thing he said was "Mom, I liked talking to you last night about my other life, did you like it?" and again I responded, "Absolutely honey. I loved it."

Until next time,
Angie