Last Friday when Michael came home from school and dumped his backpack on the floor, I decided, after tripping on it twice, to open up the bag and see what was inside. Even though I tell the boys constantly to hang up their backpack and put it in their room, the words that come out of my mouth must instead hit their ears translated into, "Please throw your backpack on the floor right in the middle of the kitchen while mom attempts to make dinner" Ah, I digress.
And while the stores at the back-to-school sale try to tell us that picking a cool backpack that transports important work for your child is really important, I'm not convinced. Personally I think the purpose of a backpack only is for transporting homework (parental homework that is), important papers for parents to sign off on and return to the teacher and for notes of things I'm usually not to happy to receive (Sorry to tell you again but your son didnt' turn in his library book, you owe us another $8.50 or my favorite, you must not have noticed the yellow star stamp on your son's hand the last two weeks signalling his lunch account has a negative balance of -$25.00 please send lunch money soon!) I guess what I'm saying is, if I had my druthers I'd leave the backpacks at school. Okay now I'm really done with this rant.
Back to my original point. So last Friday after pulling out the many papers, two jackets, a random girl's bracelet and a enough sand to fill a paper cup, I found a crinkled up note from Michael's teacher. It said, next week Michael is going to be our shining star. Please send a poster with him to school on Monday sharing all of the interesting things about Michael. What is his favorite food? What is his favorite color? What does he like to do? When was he born? I think you get the point. Upon reading it, I thought, "Okay add that item to mom's weekend to do list."
And as the weekend progressed I talked with Michael about what he wanted to put on his poster. I told him he had to write out what he wanted to put on the poster first and then I'd type the question leaving a space for him to write in his response and we'd put that on the poster. He was excited. Saturday afternoon we started.
One thing about these spotlight or star of the week assignments is that for us, adoptive families, there's one thing that always goes along with the assignment. You can be guaranteed, while working on the poster you are going to have a discussion about how we came to be together, followed by questions of what their life was like before us and what they were like as a baby. I'm thankful I now can anticipate some of the questions they ask. "Mom- was I a cute baby?" (Thankfully that's easy, all babies are cute in my book). Of course honey, you were adorable. "Mom- what did I look like as a baby?" (I am SOOOOO thankful for the boy's foster parents and the fact that they took time to gather birth and baby pictures from the boy's birth mom. As a result of their proactive thinking, we have several pictures of the boys as newborns and babies. Something I'm very thankful for, as I realize not all adopted children have this.) Michael, here is a picture of you as a baby. Aren't you the cutest baby ever? Michael smiling from ear to ear, sighed and said, "Oh look, I'm so cute! Gabriel, look at my chubby cheeks."
And while those questions are relatively easy to answer, it is the other ones that I get a bit more nervous answering. "Mom- why did our birth mother not want to keep us? Did she not want us?" While I have no problems being honest with them, we struggle with the boundary of how much to share with them at this age. If there is one thing I never want my children to feel, it is that they were not wanted, because the truth is exactly the opposite of that. They were wanted. They were wanted by more than one family. The truth is, it came down to a question of what was best for them and thankfully (to our benefit), the powers that be determined we were the better fit. How do you explain that to a 6 and 8 year old? I'm not sure. I'm not an expert, so I just do my best and tell them in general terms that, "Yes, you were wanted honey. Michael, your Dad and I wanted to be parents for a very long time and we prayed very hard for you, your brother and your sister. God helped bring you, Gabriel and Isabelle to us, so that we could be a family." And usually, while I wait for another follow up question, my answers seem to be what they want to hear, and they accept what I say very happily without any further questioning. I suppose with their age, deeper questions and the follow up will come. In some ways I look forward to sharing more with them as they age.
Geeze, I guess I'm on a roll tonight with tangents. I'll try to stay focused. So while we worked on Michael's poster, we looked through old photographs which made all of us, even the boys realize how much they've grown. Looking back at them from when they first came to be with us, I see now that they were babies. How quickly they've grown.
Michael and I talked about how to organize the photos and what he wanted to write. And then it came time for us to lay everything out and start putting it together. Several times Michael said, "Wow, this looks so nice. Thanks mom for helping me!" And honestly speaking, I enjoyed working on the poster more than I originally thought I would. It isn't all that often that just Michael and I get to do something together, so it was fun to work on a task while reminiscing on happy times we've had together.
And then, when we were all finished, I yelled for the rest of the family to gather in the living room so we could give Michael the floor and let him show off... have his spotlight moment of attention.
Everyone gathered around, I grabbed my camera and we watched as Michael stood proudly showing off his poster and telling us about all the pictures and sayings he had put on his masterpiece.
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| His face says it all. I think he is proud of what he has to share. |
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| Here he is reading the captions to his pictures. |
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| And talking about one of his favorite trips to Walt Disney World. |
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| Meanwhile, everyone paid close attention and admired what he was pointing out. Being the middle child, he doesn't often get the attention Gabriel (being the oldest) or Isabelle (being the baby) get. And for those few minutes, the stage was all his. He enjoyed getting the attention as much as we enjoyed giving it to him! |
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| That is, he enjoyed all the attention, until Isabelle realized I was taking pictures. At which point she turned around... |
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| and came front and center in front of the camera. She then started saying "CHEEZZZEEE" over and over and over. |
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| Yep, here she is again. "CHEEZZZEEEE MOMMY!" over and over and over. |
While I dread the parent homework and the backpacks all over the floor, I guess I shouldn't complain. For without those pesky assignments, I wouldn't have gotten to spend and afternoon with my bestest (how do you like that word?) middle child. It was a rewarding assignment, even if I thought I left homework assignments several years ago.
Congrats Michael on your week in the spotlight. I hope you soak up all the attention you so willingly deserve but often times selflessly let your other siblings get.
We love you!
Until next time,
Angie
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