The Naughty List

I remember as a child I feared being on the naughty list.  As Christmas approached and I’d do something wrong, I was keenly aware of the scary statement that would come racing out of my parents’ mouth, “You better shape up or you’re doing to be on the naughty list and not get anything for Christmas.”  Like falling down and scraping my knee, hearing those words come from my parents was enough to make me ship shape up into the best little girl I could be (at least until Christmas morning). 

And while back in my day just hearing that threat was enough to make me change my ways, I’'ve discovered the times have changed and those threats no longer work.  See, I've discovered my kids are determined to see just how “naughty” they can be and still make the “good” list.   

I find myself in a dilemma. With six days until the big jolly guy is supposed to come, I’m tempted to paint “fly on by” on our roof or lock him out of the house and leave a sign on the front door saying, please take the gifts to some other boys and girls”.  Seriously, this mom has used every possible Santa card that is out there to bribe the kids to be good.  And for some reason, it still isn’t working.   Maybe it’s just the excitement of the season, the change from normal routine or the fact that they can see right through us and know that we can’t NOT give them something for Christmas.  Whatever it is, it’s making me crazy.

It’s the bickering, the tattling, the talking back and the I’m going to do whatever I want, no matter what you say.  It’s just enough to make me crazy (have I said that?)!  Granted there isn’t anything too big that they are fighting about, maybe it’s the normal stuff other parents face.

“Mom- Michael is wearing MY black socks!” 

“Mom- I’m wearing Gabriel’s black socks because he’s wearing MY black pants.”

“Michael pick up your towel and put it in the bathroom!”

“Gabriel STOP telling me what to do!” 

“MOM- Michael’s talking back to me!”

“MOM- Isabelle’s scratching me! We don’t want to watch the Wiggles anymore!”

“NO NO NO” as I look to see Isabelle’s fists chasing after Jack who has taken her Winnie the Pooh.

Seriously, it isn’t just one child, it seems to be all 4 of them, dog included.  And that is just the start.  No matter what there could be to fight about, it’s going to happen in our house and its probably going on right now.

If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a hundred times.  “Do you not want Santa to come to our house? If you keep acting this way, you’re not going to get anything for Christmas!”  Instead of the scared, I’m sorry face that I expected to stare back at me, I get the “Yea right Mom, tell me another crazy story.” that’s what I get from the boys; and from Isabelle I get the finger point and her saying, “NO NO NO!” back in my face.  Isn’t that nice?  She’s not even two and knows how to talk back. 

But you know me, and I’m stubborn and determined, I will find a way to prove my point.  And that’s when I heard about a local radio station's attempt to help parents in my situation.  Seriously I can hardly believe I’m admitting this, but it’s the truth.  So what happens is the radio DJ’s talk to the parents about all the things their children have been doing to be on the naughty list and then they page the call through to Santa at the north pole.  When Santa’s on the line the child or children get to talk to the big guy as he reminds them about all the bad choices they’ve been making.  The point is to scare the children straight.  While my initial reaction was how cruel, my second thought was, hey, maybe this will work.  And so I decided I’d listen in a few days to see how it went and to see how traumatized the kids were that they really might not get anything. 

And here in point is the lesson learned.  During the first day I listened, an 8-year-old boy was in trouble for fighting at school ( a real kicking and punching fight) and also for locking his smaller 4-year-old brother in his room because he was tired of having to play with him.  On today’s story a 5-year-old “spunky” girl was on the list because she got into a screaming fight with the Santa at the mall because he didn’t know what a Lala Loopsy doll was.  In addition she was in trouble for pulling the fire alarm at school because she didn't want to be there anymore, which of course got her suspended.  And then, if that wasn't bad enough she also got caught stealing her teachers cell phone to take “selfies” with.  Yes, she was just five. 

And there it was, it hit me. 

What in the world was I thinking?  Oh my goodness, why in the world am I complaining over the fighting, the tattling, and the shaking of the finger, (the pointer finger that is), at me. There I was, sitting in the car thinking about the parent of those other “naughty” kids and being thankful for the ones I have. 

In a way, it’s kind of interesting, I think we as parents hope our children are the well behaved ones, the ones that other parents look at and wish their kids were like.  Okay, again maybe I’m spilling my inner secrets, but I guess this is how I feel.  I have expectations that our kids behave in a way that is respectful, mannerly and polite. And while I may have all the expectations in the world,  I’ve found that I can only do so much.  After the 500,000^th time asking Michael to tie his shoes so the homeless man at the library doesn’t have to tell him to tie his shoes or the 200,000 time to ask Gabriel not to talk with food in his mouth or the 1,000,000 begging plea not to talk back, I realized I can only do what I can do.  And it’s probably easier to throw the “always well behaved expectation” out the window and instead hope for a more realistic approach of “let’s just hope they do a lot of things right and only a few things that aren’t so good.”  And with that I should be very very pleased. 

So I guess it’s mom that learned the lesson again this time.  While I was thinking the kids might be on the naughty list this year, the truth is, they’ve probably been on the good one all along.  In the whole spectrum of things you’d have to do to get on the naughty list, I’m thinking the positive things they’ve done have more than canceled out the bad.  If  I’m being perfectly honestly, I’m counting my blessings they haven’t pulled any fire alarms or stolen any teacher’s phones. 

Just looking at them, you'd never imagine they could do anything wrong right? 

Even though they sometimes fight like crazy and push me to my limits, I love them more than they'll ever know and give thanks I get to be there mom.

Until next time,

Angie