And with our angels...: 2015 a year in review...

As you know 2015 was a year filled with the greatest of blessings and the biggest of heartaches, and yet as I reflect back upon the last 364 days, I can't help but think that the blessings were bountiful.

So I take some time today to reflect back on the past 12 months, of all they brought us and the reminders of so many good I've been blessed to have in my, in our lives.

January

After spending the holidays in Iowa for Christmas we returned back to the desert just in time for the boys to begin their first experience at flag football. They loved it and look forward to playing again in the future.

Just a couple of weeks into the new year Mom ran her first half marathon since becoming a mom. What a nice reminder that my love of running didn't have to go away after becoming a mom. I was very thankful for the support of my family cheering me on.

The big highlight in the month of January was getting to go to Disneyland as a family for the first time. Nana and Papa went along and it was a trip we will always remember. So much fun, so many smiles and memories to last forever...

Waiting to meet Anna and Elsa

February

Gabriel prepared for his big presentation at school, dressing up as President Bill Clinton.

Looking at him with silver hair makes me feel like I'm looking into the future.

We also moved Isabelle out of her crib and into a big bed. She loved her crib so we never even thought about moving her until Nana and Papa shared one of their twin beds with us. Seeing her in her big bed and how much she loved it even more than the crib, made me soon realize our baby had grown into such a big girl.

We also celebrated Isabelle turning 3 and of course she insisted on having Frozen cupcakes.

Hard to believe our baby grew up so quickly.

Oh and speaking of babies, February also brought us the biggest surprise of our lives...

We were expecting a baby...

March

Papa and Dad started building a castle for the boys (both big and small) to play with.

Isabelle, being her silly old self insisted on eating cereal with her baby dolls bowl and spoon. It was the 30 minute breakfast... only because 3 rice krispies would fit on a spoon each time.

Oh and baseball season was in full swing...

April

Easter blessings!

We shared the news with the kids and it wasn't long before everyone and anyone knew our news... Three pretty excited kiddos that they were going to have a baby sibling.

And a couple complications gave us another chance to see our precious miracle. What a pretty side profile...

May

Brought Mom's trip back to Iowa for Uncle Jonas and Kacee's wedding, as well as MaeLyn's bridal shower and a surprise baby shower for us. At the shower we also did a cupcake gender reveal to share the news, we were having a...

BOY!

Mom loved getting the opportunity to meet her new niece Willa and to play with nephew Mason.

Meanwhile back at home, Queen Elsa (aka Isabelle) helped with chores...

Enjoyed playdates with her friend Frankie...

And enjoyed being treated like the queen she fully believes she is.

June

The month of June was whirlwind for many reasons, but a month I'll forever replay and relive over and over in my mind. The month of June brought the unexpected news that our son was going to join us earlier than we ever planned.

My water broke early on the morning of June 8th at 23 weeks pregnant. Thankfully we stayed in the hospital for a week before our third son, Noah James Haskovec entered into this world.

Our last ultrasound pictures before his debut. To say he was squished inside was an understatement. Yes those are his arms and his legs crunched up infront of his face.

The first picture we got to take of Noah after he was born.

Mom's first trip to the NICU to see her son. Noah was just an hour old here.

As Dad and I stood at the top of his bed, Noah raised his hand up above his head as if to say, "Mommy and Daddy, I see you... want to hold my hand?"

At this time, we didn't think we could touch him, it would be the following day when we got to touch his beautiful hand for the first time.

Such tiny toes...

and long beautiful fingers...

every single ounce of Noah we love and cherished. While God had a different plan than what we wanted, he allowed us to spend 12 wonderful days with our miracle baby.

Before we had to say goodbye..

Our greatest joy and biggest heartache all in one short month.

July

The days after Noah's passing were quite the blur as I tried my best just to get out of bed each day. Thankfully family stayed around for some time after and we went through the routine of trying to find a new way of living. We went to As You Wish Pottery and chose a piece to paint in Noah's memory...

The cousins enjoyed playing together.

Gabriel finished playing on the All Star baseball team

And the kids did their best to play as kids do. Being kind to one another and trying to find a way to make their mom smile again.

The boys also participated in swim team...

And Mom and Dad decided to take a vacation away, just the two of us. It was the first time we had ever taken a vacation, without the kids.

My every thought always seemed to drift back to my baby, that I'd never get to hold in my arms again.

But we did our best to smile and enjoy the moments we still had..

We went sailing...

And watched for signs of rainbows from our littlest angel.

August

We tried to rebuild moments of family happiness as we together mourned our brother and son no longer with us.

We rejoiced in the reminders from Heaven that Noah will always be with us, in a different way than how we dreamed.

Dad and Mom celebrated 12 years of wedding bliss and were reminded just how strong we are together... for we had just lived through the worst experience and come through together stronger and more in love than ever.

We gave thanks for visitors who came to offer support and love and to remind us that we can smile in the midst of so much sadness.

And even if we weren't ready to say goodbye to summer, it was time for school to start once again.

First day of school... Isabelle wasn't too thrilled with the idea of going back to school!

September

Family moments...

We celebrated Dad being honored at the 40 under 40 awards...

And the big event for the month of September that we all celebrated at was the wedding of MaeLyn and Aaron...

Pretty great looking kids if I do say so myself...

So fun to celebrate MaeLyn & Aaron

While you can't see it here, we took this picture with the rainbow that appeared on a beautifully sunny day. It made me so happy to feel Noah close to us on such a special day.

I love this picture of Isabelle.

And while it is hard to tell, the boys didn't have any fun. Nope, no fun at all.

October

October brought the month we expected Noah to arrive, and to honor him we instead participated in Noah's Kindness Project. We were so deeply touched by the outpouring of support we received from so many who performed acts of kindness in honor of our son. It was a day that brought so much goodness into the world but also healed us in ways we never expected. We are so grateful for the support from so many.

From a very successful food drive...

to the mountains of diapers collected from the boys' school in honor of Noah...

From our reactions you can see... we were simply blown away!

To the love and unwavering support from our parents. We shared rainbows of kindness with others...

and smiled as a family with genuine happiness...

We raced in honor of Noah to help prevent child and human trafficking...

So thankful for family and friends who joined us that day to make it so special.

And we took gifts back to our friends in the NICU for other families.

Such a meaningful day... a healing day, that reminded us of so much love and kindness we have been given this year... all because of our littlest angel.

Dad and Mom enjoyed seeing Garth Brooks in concert.

And we celebrated Halloween, with a Ninja, a Ghostbuster and Minnie Mouse.

November

We relished in the signs sent from Heaven from Noah.

And we prepared for the holidays with anticipation and wonder...

Celebrating at Zoo Lights, a tradition we've had for the last several years.

And while we will now always feel a member of our family is missing, we still capture the memories of being a family... a family separated by two worlds, but with love in our hearts that will never be distanced.

December

While our hearts are heavy in not celebrating this Christmas with Noah, we still found many reasons to smile. Grandma and Grandpa came to visit for a few days... and made Xmas cookies