The Chaos of the Season...

I got this email this morning and the subject line read, “Escape or embrace the madness and wonder of the season.”  And I couldn’t help but read it as, “Escape or embrace the madness and wonder of your life.”  Yes, today’s email is a perfect example of how our lives are… Despite my best attempt to organize myself last night for the workday today, I still forgot my work keys, my ID badge and took the wrong car to my coworkers house so we could ride together downtown.  About 20 minutes into the ride I realized it and about an hour after arrive at work, Jarrett texted me to say, “I needed the van this morning to move some furniture.”  Oh yes, that’s right, that’s the whole reason why we couldn’t ride together.  Why on Earth did I take the wrong car?  Could it be perhaps, that I was a bit scatterbrained after chasing (some literally) around the house at 5:30 a.m. to get them ready for school. Here’s just a glimpse into how my morning was…

Isabelle put your socks on, Gabriel make your bed, Michael, I said 10 minutes ago to get out of the shower.  Isabelle, where are the socks I just gave you?  Gabriel, wear pants today, it’s going to be cold and rainy.  I don’t care if you won’t get cold, remember yesterday in church when your ears  were so cold you had to wear your hood (or so you claim).  Don’t tell me you won’t get cold, it’s only going to be 64 today.  No more discussion, just put on pants.  ISABELLE… WHERE ARE YOU SOCKS?  Michael, for the love of God, please get out of the shower!  Dad, you have to get up NOW, I need to leave in 10 minutes, I can’t be late, plus the dog needs to go out, he’s been barking at you for the last 5 minutes.  SushSSSSSS, please don’t wake up Madelyn.  DOOR SLAMS Well, so much for that wish.  Dad, can you please get Madelyn whose crying her eyes out, I’m trying to get Isabelle breakfast, braid her hair, make myself something to eat and talk to Gabriel AGAIN about why he needs to wear pants.  Michael, if you don’t get out of that bathroom right now, I’m going to… good, I’m glad you are out, now get dressed instead of standing in the hallway staring at the wall.  Oh and wear pants Michael, it’s going to be cold.

Yes that was about 5 total minutes of my morning and it only highlights what the majority of our life is like.  I say majority because the only quiet time in our house is when we are sleeping (which most often is never consistent because Madelyn wake up once, the dog has to go out twice a night usually, Isabelle often joins us in bed around 4 and I get up once a night to pump).  Yes our life if completely chaotic.  It often feels like we are going a million miles a minutes or chasing down a train which left the station 2 minutes earlier.  Yep, that’s our life and I’m not going to lie, somedays, it is overwhelming.  Somedays, I feel like I’ve failed more than I’ve succeeded and somedays, I want to just sit on the couch, stare blankly into the TV which I wish played some obnoxious reality show like “Housewives of Atlanta” and ignore the fighting, the wresting into closet doors by the boys, and the calls for “MOMMY, the brothers are being naughty!”  Ahhh yes, that email subject line, “Escape or Embrace the madness and wonder of the season.” Couldn’t have been more timely. 

But as much as I wish somedays I could escape the chaos for even 20 minutes, the truth is,  I would miss this life so much, if tomorrow it was all taken away.  So I choose, ahem, (clear my throat), I choose (say it like you mean it Angie) to embrace the madness because the wonder of this life, is way too good to miss.   Last night after a day filled with bickering between the kids,  but highlights of putting on the Christmas ornaments on the tree, we decided to sit down to watch Elf.  Sadly there was too much to still be done for Dad and I to sit and watch it but Michael and Isabelle (often the two at odds with each other the most), sat together on the couch, shared a blanket and cuddled together while watching the movie. Gabriel chose to go to bed earlier by the choices he made earlier in the day.  I walked by several times and would pause to sit and watch a few minutes as I fed Madelyn.  I noticed how much Michael and Isabelle were enjoying each other’s company.  And I thought to myself, instead of feeling bad we couldn’t all be there to sit together, perhaps this was meant to be a time for just those two to connect and bond.  I choose to embrace the goodness in that moment. 

And that’s just one example of the blurts of yumminess that sprinkle throughout our days, our weeks, months and this year, that makes chasing down the missed train so worth it.  Yep, our lives are completely out of control.  We are that family that races from one thing to the next, the mom who sends her kid out the door racing for the bus with his shoes in his hands and his jacket barely on.  Yep, I give my daughter Pop Tarts for breakfast several days a week as we race her to preschool so we can get out the door, and yes, I make my kids help with a lot of chores so that I’m not having to stay up for several more hours each night just to have a clean spoon to use for cereal in the morning.  Yes, as you read this, you might think, Oh my goodness she feed her daughter an overly processed, artificially flavored, preservative laden breakfast tart.  I wish I could find the energy to get up earlier each morning to prepare something better for her, but I don’t.  I’m too tired.  But I do try to get up each morning and do the best I can to get my kids clean, dressed, fed and off to school as best I can.  And then at night when we all come back together, I do my best to help support their learning by giving homework, to teach them responsibility and hard work by giving them chores, by giving consequences when they are deserved and to tell them I love them as I tuck them into bed at night. 

Yes I am exhausted, we (Jarrett and I) are exhausted and wish we could crawl into bed at 8 when we put the kids to bed too.  But as I think about my life and the 36 years I’ve been on this earth, there’s never been a time when my life has felt more enriched, challenged and full of love.  Yes, that email subject line was perfect as I read it this morning.  Escape or embrace the madness and wonder of the season.”  Yes, they are right.  For this is just a season.  A season of my life that I know will change and someday I’m going to look back and think, “Oh to only have one more morning of chaos when all the kids were young.  So Angie, take those moments of escape when you need, but don’t forget to embrace the madness because you are living the wonder of this season.

Until next time,

Angie