The wrong place at the right time...

Yesterday was September 11 and like so many American's it has become a day synonymous with reflection, sadness, unity and the realization that while each of us in this country are unique and different (and that's one of the reasons the USA is so great), when it comes down to it, we are all really the same and in tragedy we all hurt.  The country that came together on September 12th some 18 years ago is a country I hope we can all remember and strive to be like again.

Yesterday as I went about my day, the memories and heartache that was felt now so many years ago, can all come back in an instant as our hearts forever mourn the ache in what transpired that morning. And that got me thinking... I wonder how many of those family members of loved ones lost ever thought.... "why were they were in the wrong place at the wrong time."

You know, the "what if" questions that grief seems to always bring.  If only, he didn't go to the Twin Towers that morning.  What if she missed her flight, flight 93?  Why did they have to be on the 105th floor, or at the Pentagon, or a firefighter racing up those 110 flights of stairs when it all came down.  Yes, the wrong place at the wrong time.

And that got me thinking.  Life has been well crazy busy since we've welcomed Jennings home.  It's not really him, it just our lives.  We seem to have a problem (maybe I'm the instigator) of over planning.  Since August we had the kids go back to school, I went back to school, Gabe's on two baseball teams, and a swimming team, Michael is playing baseball too (on a separate team), Isabelle is in gymnastics and Madelyn and Jennings they are along for the ride. Additionally we are planning Noah's Kindness Project and preparing to get ready for that special day.  Most days are spent racing here and there, almost always racing against the clock and hoping the stoplights are in our favor.  Honestly I hate it.  I've never liked being late, it causes me stress and well I guess we can all relate to stress.

Isabelle's school starts a few minutes earlier this year and while it is only a few minutes, it has been a difference for us in getting her there on time.  Most mornings we arrive and tell her she's going to have to run as fast as she can to get onto the playground before the last class enters the building.  The first bell has already usually rung and several of the classes already inside, including hers.  On the bright side she's built up quite the endurance and should do great in the race we are doing for NKP in a few weeks.  Truthfully, it always makes me feel guilty and sad we cut it so close for her and add more stress into her life.

That is just one example and there are so many more.  Running, racing and beating the clock has become our norm.  Yesterday, September 11th, was no different.  The morning started off hectic as normal, Jarrett kindly stayed to help me get the kids off to school as I have been fighting off sickness and didn't feel well the entire night before.  When I got up, I knew that even though I still felt pretty crappy, I didn't have time to be sick so I'd just press on with my day.  I've been trying to get to the grocery store since the weekend and with basic supplies like flour, sugar, milk and bread on the list, I knew I couldn't delay it anymore.  I had 55 minutes to leave the house, get to the store, do the grocery shopping and get home before I'd have to pack up and leave for school.  It was going to be another race against the clock.  Off we went.

My two side kicks, Madelyn and Jennings were great.  Jennings slept for most of the excursion and Madelyn held onto the front of the cart and rode around as I raced throughout the store.  She talked to everyone we met, saying hi and telling them she is three years old.  Most people smiled and talked back with her.  It was senior citizen's Wednesday day so there were many nice grandparents who greeted her kindly.  I kept looking at my phone to see the time and knew I was cutting it short.  The check out lines were busy, we had to wait and with each passing moment I could feel my stress level growing.  Because we needed so many supplies, the check out lady said, I think you need a second cart.  I thought, I don't have time for a second cart, just throw them into one and I got to race out of here.  But before I could say anything, she sent the bagger out to find another cart. It took longer than normal because she had to go all the way to the parking lot to get a cart since they were out at the entrance.  That was my breaking point.... stress meter to the top.

We got to the car, I unloaded everything as quickly as I could, having already put Jennings and Madelyn in the car and started it to cool.  I pushed the carts back to the return place, ran back to the car (literally), jumped in and saw I had 12 minutes to get home, unload the car, feed Jennings, pack my lunch for school and leave.  Not realistic.  And just as it so happened, I turned out onto the road to head home and was behind someone going well below the speed limit.  Oh no, I thought. And we got to the stoplight that had been green for plenty of time for me to make it through, if they had not been in front of me, and then they stopped in a lane I could have turned right on red on, but they were not willing to turn unless it was green.  COME ON I said.  I don't have time for this.

I looked back at Madelyn in the back of the car smiling with her headphones on, and then checked the mirror to see Jennings sleeping and it hit me.  What am I doing?  I took a breath and said, "What if I'm suppose to be here at this moment instead of racing down Warner road having been able to make that right handed turn.  What if I could have been in an accident if I would have tried to race... here I was sitting, safely at a stop light with two of my most precious cargo, and I thought, "This is where God wants me at this exact moment."  In my mind I thought about the sermon we heard a few months ago about being in the right place at the right time and how God has already got our plans laid out for us.  This realization made me stop, take a deep breath and find peace in being late.  what ever will be will be.

Keeping that perspective in mind, I got everything I needed to get done, told myself if I was a few minutes late to class, it would all be okay, and that feeding Jennings, giving Madelyn that extra hug and kiss before leaving was well worth the added time.  Guess what, I ended up getting to class earlier than I normally do.  Guess I need to get better at just trusting God and letting go of my time stressors.

And that leads me to last night.  Gabe had swim practice and then the kids and I were headed downtown as I needed to go into my work to pack my office (for a move).  In my head I had planned the day out, knew it was going to be a long one, and tried to figure out how to get downtown, pack my office, drive back home all before Isabelle's bedtime.  Plus I had to find a time to get dinner added in there between Gabe's practice which is around dinner time and 20 minutes away from our house.  After school, when I got home, the kids had homework and they worked diligently.  Madelyn asked me to play LOL's with her, so while I pumped, checked on Jennings who was sleeping, assisted the big kids with questions related to homework, Madelyn and I played.  It was awesome!

The minutes ticked away and I said, "Gabe get ready for practice."  I then started to put some dinner on the stove and in feeling my stress levels rise again, I stopped and said, "never mind Gabe, tonight we aren't going to swim practice, it's going to be okay."  Surprisingly he didn't fight me on it.  Instead the kids and I sat down for dinner, talked about the day, I broke up a few fights (that's normal) and we had dinner WITHOUT racing around.  I knew we weren't where we were supposed to be and I was okay with it.  The evening went on just fine, we made a trip downtown, took care of the things I needed to, got home, and everyone got to bed at a decent time.  We had made it through another day.

And then this morning I woke up to feed Jennings for his normal once a night feed (man I love him so so much).  I scrolled through Facebook as he quietly filled his tummy and I saw this.

I stopped scrolling and read it again. I recognized that intersection immediately.  It's the one I "race" to three times a week, before telling Gabe to jump out.  I stopped and read the headline again.  I clicked on the story and read it.  Two teens were hurt and one seriously injured after being hit by a car.  I thought, "oh my goodness we were supposed to be right there exactly at the time the accident happened"  I looked down at Jennings now peacefully drifting off to sleep while comfortably in my arms.  "Oh my gosh we were supposed to be at that exact spot the accident took place... what if we had been in it."  My thoughts then went to me sitting at that stoplight at Warner... where I had begged the slow driver in front of me to get out of my way. Where I had some moment of clarity, as if God had been talking to me directly.  And then this.... thank you God.  There was my reassurance he had been trying to tell me something all day. And how that headline could have possibly have involved us had we been in what was supposed to be the right place at the right time (the practice Gabe was supposed to attend at that exact location).

As I sit here early this morning, reflecting on yesterday and the past weeks we've especially been racing to get to the right place at the right time, I realize, perhaps I've been thinking about it all incorrectly.  It turns out we really weren't in the wrong place at the wrong time.... sometimes when we think we aren't where we are supposed to be, or "in the right place at the right time" maybe actually we are where we are supposed to be.  For yesterday was a lesson for me that I really was in the wrong place (in my home at not at Gabriel's scheduled practice) at the right time (thank you God for not putting us in the middle of that accident) and that was a very very good thing.

For this crew and their daddy are my world and I wouldn't know what I'd do without them.

Here's to being in the wrong (or right) place at the right time.

Until next time,
Angie