Saturday, May 11, 2013

A world standing still...

As a child, running through the Iowa grass with the wind blowing my hair all around, I often remember thinking how I couldn’t wait to grow up.  I couldn’t wait to be an adult; to have a job, to have a family to have, it all.

And now as an adult, I look back on my childhood with so much happiness, innocence and joy that I find myself wondering why I had ever wished it away.

In a strange, glass-half-empty approach to life, I look up the local obituaries from my home town.  I guess it is something as a young child, I observed all the adults doing.  I remember listening to my grandparents, my parents and friends gathering around a table and discussing the latest town news… “Did you hear Gladis Smith passed yesterday?  “No but on the Oelwein KOEL AM radio obituary announcements this morning, I heard so and so died.”  And so now as an adult I guess it’s just one of things I absorbed through osmosis, or at least that’s who I’m going to blame.

And that leads me to Marianne Mashek.

Who might that be you ask.  She’s one, one of many people whose faces I remember and whose image represents to me a life, a life in a world that should still be standing still.  Do you know what I mean? Am I making any sense?  I fear no.   Have you ever visited a place that you had gone to many years before, and upon returning you were surprised to see that it had changed, it seemed different, maybe smaller,  maybe older and just not the same way you remember?  That is who Marianne Mashek is to me. 

Growing up with parents who ran a ballroom, there were many a weekends spent at the “hall” helping clear off tables, wash dishes and serve cake.  Being there to help, also meant that we were able to celebrate many a celebrations with friends and community members from all areas of Northeast Iowa.  With the ballroom a part of my entire childhood, there were many parties for the community to have, from graduations, to weddings, to anniversaries and even the annual Memorial Day veterans tribute which brought out the entire town.  With all those celebrations in a close knit community, it was no coincidence strangers became familiar faces and in many cases friends.  Even to a little girl, who grew a bit taller with each passing year and whose responsibilities adapted from just setting up chairs, to helping dry dishes, to eventually serving cake. 

You know most people in their lives strive to leave a mark, to impact those around us positively and to make the world better for at least one person.  There’s that old saying that you never know how many lives you’ve impacted in your life and as I think about it, it’s true.  I haven’t seen Marianne Mashek in probably close to 15 years and yet to me, she is still that friendly, white-haired, 60ish lady, that Lawler staple, that would turn her head to the side, bend over slightly (to be closer to my level) and she’s say, “Well, hi Angie…. How are you?”  Did she have an impact in my life?  Yes.  Did she ever realize it?  I am confident, no.  And although it seems she was just a friendly face with a kind persona, she did impact me.  She is a part of the memory of my youth, which I cherish and look back fondly on.

That’s it.  In my mind, life as I remember it should be stopped, where no one is aging, where the celebrations continue and the life remembered still continues day after day.  Think Groundhog’s day movie, on loop.  And it in those moments, when I pull up the obituaries and I see the news of a face I recognize but one that has aged some, and learned they have left this world, that I’m reminded.

 Life does not stop.  The memories of my youth are not on repeat.  And in what seems a glimmer of a second, time is slipping away.

So now that I’m wholly depressed, I remind myself to think of the today.  I have been blessed with three little people who are in the middle of that magical stage of life called childhood.  And although I will never get that time back in my life, I do get to be a part of their childhood, of their magical memory making years and it makes me challenged to help them make the most of it.   Am I helping to create the ever so perfect memories of childhood for my three little people?  Am I giving them the experiences I so cherish now?  What will be there “go-to” moment that they think about in 30 so years from now? 

Although reading the obituaries may seem like a pessimist action in an already negative-news society, in a strange way it is good for me.  Not only does it allow me to reflect on what a wonderful childhood I had and the many wonderful acquaintances I shared it with; it also reminds me of just how delicate life is.  How to be thankful for the family members still in my life, to be considerate of those family memories suffering from their loved-one’s loss.  And mostly, it reminds me to be thankful for what I have today.  Although I miss being a little girl, running through the long-soft-blades of grass in rural Iowa, I’m thankful to have had that time and to be where I am today.  For if I wasn’t where I am now, I wouldn’t get to experience the joy, the happiness and the innocence in the eyes of my three little ones today.

Until next time,

angie

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