With the devastating updates NBC sends my phone every 20 minutes about the terrible destruction that Oklahoma has gone through, I can't help but feel a heavy heart for what they are experiencing. The stories of the school children drowning in the basement of their school, while other children survived thanks to their teacher throwing herself over them in a bathroom stall. What horror and sadness those few minutes must have been. And while my heart aches for them, I can't help but think of just how lucky I am to get to tuck in my three little ones. Sadly many parents tonight, will not get to do the same.
And that's where my nerves get the best of me. I worry. What about? That's hard to put my finger on. I worry for those families still searching for their loved ones. I worry for the heartache and sadness that will come in the future days. I feel worry for all that the state must be experiencing.
Like being punched in the stomach, that's how I feel. The funny thing is, when I get into one of these moods, I don't even have to vocalize it, Jarrett knows how I'm feeling. And while some (ahem my husband) might say it is silly, for the life of me I can't change it. Reassuring he says, "It isn't worth worrying about, all you can do is say some prayers for them." and then we try to move on.
So stew I do. That's what my grandma use to call it. As a child, when my grandpa would get all "excited" about politics, my grandma would calmly remind him, "Ray, stop stewing about it." I can still hear her say it. Stewing.
So while I stew about the sadness that makes up the news tonight and I feel sad for all those who have suffered such loss. In the middle of it, I smile, because in a round about way, these feelings remind me of a woman I loved and miss so very much. And if she could be here tonight, she'd tell me to stop stewing, to say a prayer, and to go kiss those little dolls that are just a few steps away.
So Grandma, that's just what I'm going to do.
Until next time,
angie
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