Noah has made it through what the doctors call a honeymoon period, the first 24-48 hours. We are very aware that he is still in a critical stage and that things change on the hour. It will be that way for a long while, and yet we celebrate. The doctors have talked to us stating that the honeymoon stage is a period of time when Noah's little body does well because he is still running on the nutrients and support my body gave him prior to delivery. After the first 48 hours, they see babies, sometimes face challenges because their tiny body has to sustain them where previously my body had. Oh, what would I give to have things the other way. But I can't think that way, that is not the way the plan has gone so it doesn't help to even consider what the "other" way could have been.
So we celebrate what the last 24 hours have brought us and I have to say in my mind, these are huge victories. Noah was able to self maintain his blood pressure yesterday so they were able to wean him off is blood pressure medication. They were also able to take away the dopamine helping him (I can't even remember what that medication was for). He is currently receiving a special dose of lipids an fats which give him all the nutrients he needs, and that doesn't include breast milk he gets. Speaking of food he continues to receive 1 cc of breast milk every three hours. We have learned so much about the feeding process and how they monitor how he eats. Noah has a feeding tube that goes directly into his stomach. The tube connects to a tiny vial at the end, Before each feeding the nurse pulls back on the vial to see if any fluids come back out of his stomach. Each time they have checked they have found all of the milk gone, which means his digestive track is breaking down the food and processing the milk.
Some of the things the nurses have saved for us... his diapers (and the next size up he will use), and his first pair of "batman shades"
We find this to be a huge accomplishment because originally they told us they would not even begin feedings til around day 3. They started feeding him within the first day. And just as excited as we are about him eating regularly, we are just as excited about the fact that he has been peeing regularly.
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The size of his diaper compared to my hand. |
One of the other very exciting things for us is that they have started to be a part of his care. Every 6 hours they provide hands on care. This means that they are in his isolet taking his temperature, checking all the wires and lines, and they change his diaper. They have allowed us to take his temperature and change his diaper. At first it was very scary for me, as he is so so delicate I didn't want to possibly injure him. The nurse was very reassuring and walked us through every step. So far Jarrett has just allowed me to do the temperature and diaper changing, he said he'd like to wait with his larger hands to help until Noah is a bit bigger. All the while we are in providing hands on care, the nurses are watching him for stress signals. This is when he starts wildly moving his arms, bringing up his legs, in addition to his vital signs (O2 levels, BP, heart rate) change. If she notices any of those signs she has taught us how to provide "reassurance holds". Basically we gently place our flat hands over his arms and legs to provide a top barrier for him. This mimics the womb and the barriers he had within the sac. The barrier provides reassurance. It is amazing how well it works and so far when we've had to do it, it calms him down relatively quick.
What Noah's "home" looks like now.
While I long for the day I can hold him in my arms or when we can begin kangaroo care, getting to touch him is so important for me. I told Jarrett, I feel my body longing for him to still be inside me as I feel contractions deep in the core of my stomach as I stand at his bedside. Maybe this is common for all moms after giving birth, I'm not sure. While I miss the kicks, the butterfly movements in my stomach, getting to touch his tiny foot, his long fingers and his teeny tiny hands is healing to my heart.
The nurses also allowed me to change his diaper and last night at 3 a.m. we celebrated because he had his first bowel movement (yay for poop)! Literally one of his nurses Kim started dancing around his bed, because she was so excited he went already. She said, "you go Noah, way to go big boy!" Deanne, let me be a part of the diapering process, which requires so many gentle steps. I'm very nervous about replacing the diaper and try carefully as possible to pull back the tabs to replace the diaper. The nurses are such experts, they can do it within a matter of minutes. The nurses also let me help wipe him and Deanne said, "he's all boy, he'll probably pee on us." She was right, the minute we wiped him with sterilized water and a gauze pad he started peeing. So far with changing, Noah's in the lead... Times peed on mom (2), times mom caught him before he peed (0).
While the majority of his counts look good, his sugar levels are high over 300 right now, so they are givng him insulin to bring it down. As of this morning his level was 101 (now a bit on the low side) so they are adjusting his dosage. It is a constant game of give and takes. Also his oxygen levels were fluctuating and a bit on the lower side. He give him a bit more oxygen and he rebounds pretty quickly. We pray for strength in his little body to keep fighting and being able to regulate this on his own. Like his nurse Kim said, "every body needs help every once in a while, so if he gets tired, we step in."
The other development in our second day in the NICU is that they took his measurements again. We understand this will be a weekly process always done on Sunday night. We learned Noah is 12 inches long, we didn't know exactly at birth because they just wanted to get him stable. I understand that's a pretty good length for a baby his age. They joke, he gets his height from me. As usually happens after birth, Noah has lost some weight. He was born weighing 1 pound 11 ounces (707 grams). In his two days of life he has lost 95 grams or almost 4 ounces. The medical team doesn't seem concerned and said he will probably loose more in the next day or two before he rebounds. Just the fact that my baby is alive at just over 1 pound again confirms for me the miracle that is unfolding around us.
The medical team have also told us how important we are in this process. They want us to be here as much as we physically can and when we can't be here they want us to leave scent cloths in his bed. I wear the cloths on me and then place them in his bed. And he does the same for me. After the cloths have been in his islette for a day, they send them home with me. I'm suppose to put them on my pillow and sleep near them. It is suppose to help with my healing and production of milk for him.
Finally the other milestone yesterday was asking our pastor to come and pray over Noah with us. We held hands surrounded his bed and asked the Lord to watch over him. I still continue to find so much of this process trusting in God and having faith that he is in control. We firmly firmly believe in the power of prayer. I can't verbalize it without tears streaming down my face.... the prayers, the thoughts of care that have been shared with us by so many of you are so so powerful. The daily text messages from friends, family with prayers they have said, pictures of bible versus, songs of hope, facebook messages from caring strangers... I read them aloud to Noah and pray them from his bedside. Thank you to all of you, from family, friends, even strangers that we have never met.... again we will never be able to repay you for your kindness and the support. You are helping to carry us through... and we feel Noah being surrounded, protected in love. Thank you from the core of my soul.
Today I leave my comforts of 116B in the Antepartum department. I never thought I'd wish to stay in the hospital but I do. I know though that it is time for me to transition again. The kids at home miss us, I miss them terribly and I need to break out of my safe shell that is in here in the hospital. I am aware that life outside is functioning and now I need to find a new reality of balancing everything. It is not going to be easy, but nothing in this process is going to be.
I'll close today with some more pictures of our precious little fighter along with a quote my cousin's wife posted to Facebook yesterday...I thought it perfectly fits our lives at this moment...
"Those who leave everything in the hands of God, sees God's hand's in everything."
Praying right along side of all of us.
Until next time,
Angie
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