Tuesday, June 2, 2015

I am reminded…

Thank you for all the thoughts and prayers.

After posting an update of the scares we’ve been going through lately, we’ve been showered with kind acts of generosity, texts of prayers, phone calls, meals, and support.  I’m so extremely thankful for all the kind gifts we’ve received and while I don’t feel deserving, I am so so grateful.

Last week was hard and while I still feel like I’m living in a limbo land (praying for Thursday’s doctor’s appointment to come quickly), I can’t help but feel encouraged, loved and supported with all the prayers and support.  I shared what our experience has been, not to draw attention to our situation but for the reasons I said last week.  I’ve also said many times, this blog serves as a virtual therapist for me and what our life is like.  To be honest, I had to get all the feelings, the nerves and the anxiety filled thoughts out of my head, even if it was just in telling the details of what has happened.

Since the appointment last Thursday, I have spent the majority of my time drinking water, going to the bathroom and lying on my left side.  I’m hopeful that this Thursday’s appointment will give us good news.  I am thankful that the spotting has stopped and that I continue to feel the baby move.  I find myself relying upon the gentle nudges or the butterfly like swooshes that come every once and a while.  I think of them as the baby’s way of telling me, “Everything’s going to be okay mom.  I’m okay in here.”    The other absolute wonderful thing that happened in the last few days, was that Jarrett got to feel what I get to feel.  Sunday morning, I was lying in bed trying to convince myself to get up, when all of a sudden baby woke up too.  I could feel the kicks on the outside of my stomach so I decided to wake Jarrett up.  I asked him, “Do you want to feel the baby?”  In past weeks when I ask him to feel my stomach to feel the hard lump that is the baby, he often declines saying he doesn’t want to press too hard and hurt the baby.  This time, he reached over his hand, I placed it on my stomach in the place where I had just felt the baby and said, “just wait.”  Not more than a minute later, baby moved and I looked at Jarrett with wide eyes.  “Did you feel that?” I asked.  Just then the baby moved again.  He smiled, I smiled and he said, “Wow, that is so amazing.”   

In a time of being scared and really fearful of what had been happening, the fact that Jarrett got to feel the baby move, something we’ve been waiting and looking forward to, was like the sunshine after a never-ending rainstorm.  So welcomed, so refreshing, and obviously a reminder we have so much to be thankful for.  Keep on moving baby… keep on a moving.

While feeling the baby move is so exciting, and something I keep going back to, to give me encouragement and strength, the last 6 days have been filled with so many other blessings, I couldn’t not mention them here.

First of all, the texts of support… I’m honestly not sure how many people read our blog but after my last post, I learned there must be quite a few.  Within hours of posting what I consider one of my more raw posts, I started getting text message after message.  Friends and family checking in to see if I, if the baby, if we were okay.  Nice messages of support always ending with … Praying for you and the baby.  Or… Sending my thoughts and prayers to you and the baby.     Short messages that mean a mountain of support and kindness I will never forget. 

The calls… I’m so thankful for the phone calls, those to say, “I’m thinking about you; your post made my nervous.”  Those who wanted to check in and send their support across the miles.  I could tell from the sincere tone in their voice, just how concerned but also just how much they cared.  You know who you are… thank you.

The physical offering of support… From my Godmother’s, both of them reaching out to say they wanted to help.  My Aunt Donna calling to say they’d love to host our boys back on their farm in Iowa to give us a break and allow our house to be a little more quiet and calm.  I know the boys would find the opportunity to go back to Iowa and visit the farm to be the highlight of their summer.  Having Donna volunteer to take them for us, means so much.  Donna, I haven’t forgot about your offer- I will be calling you soon! 

And then last night when my other Godmother called and said, “I am worried about you and would be happy to come out for a few weeks to help you.”  My Aunt, Marjory volunteered to put her life on hold, to come out, in the middle of our horribly hot summer no doubt, to give me a rest and care for my family.”  I told her how thankful I was for her offer, that I would talk to Jarrett and let her know today.  Less than 3 hours later she called me back and said,  “I realized the only way to probably get you to say yes is for me to just book a flight and come out.  So I’m looking at flights now and I’d like to book it tonight.”  Just like that, she dropped everything she had going on, and is headed here in just 5 days to stay for a month.  I’m simply overwhelmed by the kindness.

Our close friends… last Friday was my birthday and after my doctor’s appointment on Thursday, I pretty much felt like staying home and crawling in a hole to hibernate while I consumed loads and loads of water.  My friend Janelle texted me the day before my birthday and asked if she could stop over to drop off something on Friday.  It’s always fun to spend time with her so I said of course.  What I didn’t realize is that she and our other close friend Sonya had been planning to have a surprise mini-gathering at our place.  Totally low key, with personal touches to the max, these ladies know just how to brighten up my spirits.  They brought us dinner, cake, cookies, drinks, a very nice birthday gift and flowers.  Additionally Janelle’s husband Jon came along and volunteered to take all the kids swimming so us ladies could catch up inside where it was cool.  It was the most touching and thoughtful birthday gift I could have ever dreamed of.  Getting to talk with them helped me in so many ways.  It took my mind off the guilt of what I felt I had done, made me of so thankful for them, who seem to know exactly what I needed and who so generously showered me with their love.  How do I deserve such wonderful friends?

My Aunt Anita and her family have been extremely supportive.  The minute she found out about our low fluid level scare she brought me over a care package, water flavor drops to add to the 170-200 plus ounces I get to drink a day, a prayer card her mom, my grandmother had shared with her, a loving card and dinner.  She has since brought dinner to our place three nights in the last 6 days.  Additionally, she has extended the call for prayers as I mentioned before, to my grandfather’s sister, a Nun who has the entire priory praying for us.  And finally, she volunteered to take Isabelle for me last Saturday morning on a playdate, while Dad and the boys were gone, giving me the entire morning to rest.   These generous acts that mean so much.

And my in-laws.  I’m not sure how to repay them.  They have been there for us since early on, helping me with meals, with the kids when I was too sick to be able to crawl out of bed or to stomach making a meal for them.   They have been there for us in more ways than I can ever recount.  From the small (or not so small things) of sweeping the floor, wiping the fan blades, meeting the repair man for this broken thing or that broken thing, and keeping track of the kids for us.  Their support is like that Mastercard commercial…priceless.

 It wasn’t until last night when I laid in bed last night that I physically felt the stress leaving my body.  As I thought about my aunt flying here in a few days and how she will be around to help me on the days when I’m home with the kids and Jarrett’s at work.  As I thought about the fact that the kids have Summer Academy, Swimming Lessons, Swim Team, baseball and then the time at home, that I realized how nice it will be to have an extra hand.  As I thought about the evening we had just finished and how my mother and father in law have stopped their life (in the middle of moving to a new house and the fact that they are supposed to be enjoying retirement now), to be at our house 3 or 4 days a week to help.  From giving Isabelle a bath, to walking the dog, making meals for the kids and us, doing the laundry, you name it.  I basically come home to find that they are running the house.  I get to eat dinner and go lay on the couch.  How spoiled am I? 

And so in the middle of what seems like a very stressful time, I am reminded.  I have so so much to be thankful for.  I have so many blessings.  From a family who supports from close and afar, for friends who send a loving text, place a caring phone call or show up in perfect timing to brighten one’s day. I continue to pray that Thursday brings us good news about the baby and the fluid levels.  I pray my efforts to drink 200 ounces of water a day, provide enough fluid to replenish what the medication decreased and that the ultrasound shows a very active and fluid submerged swimming baby. 

I pray.  I am thankful, and I am reminded… just how blessed I am.

Until next time,

Angie 

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