When we were in the NICU with Noah we were blessed by so many. The nurses, the doctors, family, friends, strangers and even by other families who going through the most stressful time in their lives, as we were going through ours.
One of those families lives catty-corner across from us and their little miracle Louis was born the same day as Noah and became his neighbor in the NICU a few days later. He was bigger, born at 28 weeks I believe and weighed a bit more than 2 pounds I think. I remember their family coming up to see him, I'm not sure if it was for the first time, but I think it might have been. The look on their faces was the same look we had when we saw Noah... scared beyond belief, and at the same time so in love.
Louis and Noah were "friends" from the start. Though they never got to play on a playground together or in the sense that most children get to play as friends, I always felt like in the middle of the night, when all was quiet and the chaos from the day had ended that their souls were connected and playing together... even though they were in their isolettes.
Louis' was showered with love by many too. Although we didn't really get a chance to talk to his family members, the exchange of hellos in the hallway on the way to Pod D or the rides together in the elevator, the communication was clear. We felt their support and I hope they felt our care and concern in our nods of support and hellos of encouragement.
Sadly, our time in the NICU was short (relatively speaking) and when we left for the final time we never really had a true conversation with Louis family, but I thought of them and their precious little boy daily. I didn't think I'd ever know how their little boy's journey went but I prayed he would grow to be a healthy, full of life, strong boy that went onto live a long, rich life. I figured our life paths would continue separately and that would be how it would go.
I will continue to tell Louis that Noah was his first friend. We were/are also in NICU Pod D since June 16th, and I have thought about you everyday. You were the first family to say anything to us and to make a gesture. I could look over at you and our eyes would meet and I could be assured, "I know, it will be okay". You have an amazing story to tell, and I hope you will continue to tell it. I pray for Noah and your family everyday. I hope you continue to be comforted by the thought that Noah is in Heaven with the most amazing people. It comforts me. This blog has helped me in such a tremendous way this morning - knowing that someone else understand everything we have gone through and will continue to go through - even though we will never be able to understand your loss - we do grieve with you for Noah. Your feelings throughout this blog have been similar to what I have been feeling, and that is a good feeling to me, To know that im not alone...even though our NICU stories are different. Thank you Angie.
Louis's mom
Louis's mom
It was so wonderful to hear from her and her words brought tears to my eyes. How funny that our first real conversation wasn't in the NICU where we spent several days together but more than a month after Noah passed and through written words. Either way, the words she shared with me meant more than I'll ever be able to adequately share with her.
Soon there after we became friends on Facebook and it wasn't too long after that that I got to see pictures of their NICU graduate. He looked so big, so healthy and so happy. I could see in the eyes of his mom, his dad and his grandmother that fear had been replaced with relief and that the look of love they had on the first day of him being next to Noah, had multiplied many times over.
Their little Louis is so cute and now over a year, it has been so fun for me to watch him grow, achieve milestones and thrive. While I miss Noah so much, in someways, watching Louis grow and achieve things we had hoped to see Noah do, brings me happiness and peace. I pray I get to continue to watch him grow over the years...
Before Madelyn was born, Louis mom and grandmother reached out to me and asked for our address. They said they had a gift they wanted to send. Just a few weeks ago a box arrived in the mail and opening it, I saw that it was from them. I pulled back the tissue paper and inside were not only super cute outfits and receiving blankets but also this beautiful afghan...
Instantly my eyes filled with tears... it was a rainbow afghan that exuded love as I pulled it from the box. I felt the masterpiece between my fingers and the love was tangible. I spread it out on the floor and laid Madelyn on it. She was immediately fascinated with the bright colors and soon Isabelle joined her.
The special star shape of the afghan was something I have never seen before. It is absolutely gorgeous.
Madelyn laid peacefully for several minutes staring at the bright colors before I turned her over so she could see it better.
We were (still are) very touched by the beautiful gift made with so much love that was shared with us for Madelyn. I love to let her lay on it as it makes me feel she is being wrapped with love and in some way her big brother above is close too.
When we lost Noah back on that hard day in June, I couldn't see or feel anything but overwhelming grief and sadness. While the sadness and grief are still present, I've been able to find joy, understanding and even happiness in the fact that his life, his short but mighty life brought many many blessings. Had Noah never been born and survived labor, we would have never been in the NICU. And had we not been in the NICU, in POD D at the same time another family (Louis' family) was going through their own extremely difficult journey, we would have never met.
I can see how God had a master plan and although the plan didn't go the way I wanted, there are so many gifts we received through his plan. Meeting Louis' family and getting connected to them has been just one of the blessings.
What a beautiful gift we will forever cherish.
Until next time,
Angie
No comments:
Post a Comment