Meet the Teacher...

With summer quickly coming to an end, here in the Valley of the Sun it means the time for school has arrived.  Last Thursday night we loaded up the crew and headed to school to meet Gabriel and Michael's teachers.

It is still hard for me to believe Gabriel is in first grade and Michael will be in Kindergarten.  How can it be that my two small boys, (who weren't actually even that small when we became a family) have grown into kids.  No descriptive text before it, kids.  Not little kids, not small boys, just kids. 

So here we are, watching our two boys transition from preschool into both being in elementary.  In a way we are proud to watch them accomplish things on their own and grow more and more independent, but on the other hand, it is sure enjoyable having them be young too.  I think mom is handling it better than she normally would because she still knows there's one more "little one" at home.

As we arrived at the school, the boys were very determined to carry all of their school supplies themselves. They had meticulously packed and repacked, loaded, unloaded and loaded their backpacks so they had everything in the perfect place. Now they were getting to take it to school to their new classroom. 

In the cafeteria, where we go to get the names of the boys teachers, Michael stayed cautiously by my side, while Gabriel was on the hunt for something more important.... Hannah.  Yep, that's right,  Hannah's back in the picture now that schools back in session and with every blond haired little girl that walked by, Gabriel dragged Dad along to scoop it out and see if indeed it was her. 

Michael asked that I go with him to wait in line for the Kindergarten teacher assignment and when we got to the front of the line, we found Mrs. Garcia at the table. Mrs. Garcia attends our church and was the co-teacher in Gabriel's room last year. Having got to know Gabriel very well, she immediately greeted Michael with a huge welcoming hug and a "Wow Michael, aren't you handsome!" Michael soaked it all up and as Mrs. Garcia told him the name of his teacher, she added that her Granddaughter was going to be in the same kindergarten class. I guess that means Michael will get to see Mrs. Garcia frequently too. I find comfort knowing someone is there with the warm caring touch, like we've had for the past in the boy's preschool teachers, i.e. Ms. Stacey.

So after getting the boy's teachers names we headed off in search of the classroom. On the way Gabriel continued his Hannah hunt stopping outside every classroom to read the names of the kids in the class. Before getting to his class he spotted a classroom, and even though it was for a 5th grade class, he insisted Hannah was in that classroom because there was a Hannah on the roster. Jarrett and I just looked at each other and shrugged our shoulders.

Arriving in Gabriel's classroom, we introduced ourselves to Mrs. Ang and he went to find his seat.  Turns out he and Trinity, a friend from pre-school, and his kindergarten class is also in his new classroom and they are seated right next to each other.  Gabriel situated in his new desk and started unloading his belongings.  He was set.

Next we moved onto to Michael's classroom where we found out he is in a classroom with 27 children.  Yikes!  That is 8 more kids than Gabriel had last year, so we shall see how it works out.  Michael's teacher is an expert at the school, having been there since it opened 25 years ago.  Michael went proudly into the classroom, introduced himself to the teacher and tried to follow the many step instructions as best he could.  As he made his name tag he said hi to the boy, Andrew next to him.  They decided to sit next to one another.  In that moment I felt so proud knowing that my little boy, whose not so little anymore, was ready for school. 

 Gabriel helped Michael and showed him all around the classroom, as if he was an expert at Kindergarten.  Michael willingly followed along.

We spent time looking around the classroom, gathered up the piles of paperwork (parent homework) and left meet the teacher night with the boys feeling excited and ready.  Although its sometimes hard for me to welcomingly accept change, I know it is a must and the boys are excited.  For them, I'm happy. 

Until next time,
Angie

The end of summer...

Back in May I could have never guessed the summer was going to go so fast. In some ways I still feel like we should be looking forward to Memorial Day weekend, not the fast approaching labor day. Instead, the beginning of August is only days away and we are preparing to go back to school. Along with this we are also preparing, actually dreading, having to say good bye to MaeLyn and Aaron’s time in Arizona.

My sister MaeLyn and her, other half, Aaron came out this summer to spend time bonding with our children. In real terms they were our babysitters. We joked all summer about how they were our Nannies and they should start a business called Nanny and Manny Incorporated. I think it has a nice ring to it and we even tried to do some networking for them as we talked to some friends who actually needed a nanny. But Iowa has been their home and they feel called to return to their lives back there, so we prepare to send them back to friends and family who are excited for their return.

There’s that saying it takes a village to raise a child and this summer has taught me just how true it is. While this summer brought my return to full time work, I can’t help but be extremely thankful for having my sister and Aaron here. The stress, emotional toll and overwhelming feeling of balancing full time work, family obligations, home responsibilities and everything else on our plate was made so much easier because of their help. Having them available to assist in anything and everything from changing diapers to helping the boys with school work, to running errands and even cleaning the house. The gifts they gave us, I don’t ever think I’ll be able to repay.

The greatest gift though did not come though from all the chores they did or the errands they ran, the greatest gift they gave us this summer was their time. The bond they built with our boys and little girl will be something Gabriel, Michael and Isabelle (even at 5 months old) will remember for their entire lives. Heck, I’ll remember it and be forever thankful. And although MaeLyn and Aaron had to provide discipline and consequences when bad choices were made, they established a level of respect that the boys have for them and that too is a gift.

This summer has also given Jarrett and I a chance to reconnect with MaeLyn and get to know Aaron better. MaeLyn and I are 10 years apart and we had only met Aaron a couple of times before having him come out. Being so much older than MaeLyn, I’ve always in some ways felt like a second mom to her and this summer I’ve seen her mature and grow in ways that I’ve realized, she doesn’t need a second mom, just being best friends and close sisters is perfect enough. And Aaron, we’ve grown to know and love him after watching him go through a situation more difficult that most people ever have to face in their life, we’ve develop a true sense of honor and respect for his determination and spirit to keep going. Even though he’s witty and able to dish out crap, he’s truly one of the most caring, sincere and thoughtful guys, I’ve ever met. Together they make a great couple.

This summer after almost practically living together, we’ve learned things about one another that will forever unite us. After observing them spend days and weeks perusing through homes for sale on their laptops, research top ranked food places in the valley, introducing me to Pintrest and watching hours and hours of reality TV together, there is no going back. In fact, after Aaron felt comfortable enough to bash my singing skills, we decided he’d love it if I sing Peter Catera’s The Glory of Love at their wedding. Watch out Aaron, don’t doubt me, I’ve been known to make a fool out of myself a time or two before. It just may happen if you dare me.  In case you care to get a preview, here’s Peter …http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XWHOF_0-6Hg

Living in Phoenix for the past 7 years and living away from my family for that time has without fault of anyone, resulted in relationships with my family not being as close as they could be. We are not there for the weekend gatherings, the during the week dinners or the casual drop in visits. All of our interactions are over the phone with multiple time changes in between. That is the reality and we realized that unfortunately could happen when we decided to move to Phoenix to begin our careers.

Now that we have children and I realize just how difficult it is to be away from my family, I think back to my childhood and am thankful my parents lived close to my grandparents and extended family. I guess in some ways, being completely honest with myself, those are the days when I wish we could live in both places. But you take what you can get and this summer, I got a taste of what life with my immediate family close by was like. Iit tasted good. And now I wish it was a permanent piece of my life, of our life I too would like to give my children the same gifts I was given (to be close to both grandparents and both sides of the family). But if having those 10 weeks together is all the treat I get, I’m still glad we had it for it was a great summer and I’m forever thankful for them putting their life on hold to help us.

The summer of 2012 will be remembered for many reasons. It was the summer we went to Iowa, to Lake Tahoe and to San Diego all within 5 weeks. It was also the first summer with our baby girl and it was a summer full of many fun and lots of great memories, all thanks to MaeLyn and Aaron.

We love you guys and will miss you terribly.

Remember our house is always open for you and we can’t wait til you come back.

Until next time,
Angie

Superman and Batman

The boys are very creative.  They love to play pretend and dress up as long as it is super hero's.  Gabriel has had a Superman costume for 2 years but unfortunately we haven't come across a batman costume for Michael.  Therefore recently Michael has decided to take matters into his own hands.  The other day I came home from work and could tell the boys were playing superheros.  There were toys everywhere.  Gabriel had been dressed in his street clothes and moments later had to attend to a "call for help"  so disrobed to become SUPERMAN!

Meanwhile, Michael was in the other room at his art/project table working on coloring something.  He had on black pants and a black t-shirt which I thought nothing of.  He's still working on perfecting his ability to pick out matching clothes.  I continued to greet everyone at home and was holding Isabelle to tell her hi when I heard an announcement from the other room that Superman and Batman were there to assist.  As I looked over I saw Gabriel all dressed as Superman but with a new accessory on his head and when I looked at Michael I saw that he created his very own Batman suit.

I have to give it to them, they are very creative and if they are missing something they are pretty resourceful to make what ever they have around to fit their need.

I proudly revel to you the super hero's of our house Batman and Superman...

The mask Michael drew himself after looking at a batman toy he had, and Gabriel decided he didn't have the spit curl look that superman had so he drew it on paper and taped it to his head.  It works right?

My very serious super hero's, fighting crime is serious stuff at our house... don't smile boys okay.

Didn't take him long to break a smile...

And then they were both smiles.

I'm so thankful and lucky for the boys, oops, I mean super hero's I've got. 

Until next time,
Angie

I'm tired. I"m really really tired.

Have you ever been so tired you can’t function? It is the type of exhaustion and pure tiredness that makes your head hurts, your eyes water continuously and your stomach feels like it has been doing summer circles over and over? It is the type of tired that no matter what you try to wake up, to focus, to become productive, it is all a lost cause. Well today I’m there. I’m so tired I can hardly function enough to get the words out on this virtual paper.

Isabelle and I spent the night, and by night, I mean the entire night bonding (her choice not mine) and as a result I’m dragging today. I have been day dreaming of my bed, it has been calling to me, since I drove to work this morning at 7. I’ve been begging for the pounding in my head to stop, as I know it is only caused by the lack of sleep. It is almost as if my brain is knocking on the front door of reason in my head, asking for some time to rest. There is a list of things I need to do tonight that is growing longer by the minute, but in this second, the only thing I want to do is throw on my pjs, snuggle up on my bed and cash out. I’m so tired.
I know parents all across this country go to work with probably less sleep for multiple days in a row. Seriously I shouldn’t complain, I won’t. Instead I’ll just record exactly how tired I am. Then I’ll throw on my pjs, give my children as much love and attention as I can give them for the next couple of hours, and put them to bed. Footsteps later I’ll join them in slumber as I pray and hope for a restful night.
Hopefully tomorrow I’ll wake up more rested, more alert. I won’t even ask to be completely rested; even partly rested. If I can be even just slightly above exhausted, I’ll be happy. I just don’t want to feel the way I feel today. For today I’m tired, I’m really really tired. And I don’t have time to feel this tired anymore.

Until next time,

Angie

tooth times...again

Our stories of losing teeth seem to revolve around one child, and although he is the oldest and should be losing his teeth first, he seems to have a lot of excitement that goes along with each wiggle in his mouth.

Take for example his two front teeth.  They've both been loose for at least the last 6 months.  In fact I know it has been longer than that because I have pictures of dad trying to pull it from back in January.  Even with Gabriel's consistent pleas to have them pulled, at the time, they just weren't ready.  Perhaps mom and dad were too queasy to think about pulling them, but we didn't tell Gabriel that.

And pulling Gabriel's teeth has been the focus of many a conversations this summer with MaeLyn and Aaron.  Take for example our 4th of July.  In the middle of fire works, Gabriel insisted his tooth be taken out right then and there.

He tried everything, pulling it with his own fingers, having MaeLyn try with hers.  There was even several go arounds with floss being tied around and around the slippery tooth which was STILL not ready to come out.

MaeLyn loves that I've shared these pictures of her looking like a rabbit or a wood chuck, but I told her I just had to share them.

There was even Gabriel's efforts at throwing himself onto the top of Isabelle's crib rails to get it to come out.  See below.  Instead it only left him with a chipped front tooth and blood stains for mom to get out of Isabelle's sheet.

And then there was yesterday.  Again, Gabriel had a day where he insisted that his tooth get pulled out right then and there.  Aaron had promised him that before he and MaeLyn leave to go back to Iowa that he would make sure his tooth was out.  With less than a week left, Gabriel decided it had to be the day.

So Aaron attempted to grab it with his hands, no such luck.  And then Gabriel went to get his trusty piece of floss. Together him and Aaron wrapped it around and around to the point that there was no other way for the floss to come out of his mouth than without the tooth with it.  A few minutes into the task Gabriel started to get cold feet about Aaron pulling it and decided MaeLyn should do the job instead. 

After her failed attempts it was back to Aaron to "attempt to get the floss off."  Of course Mom wanted to get it all on video but had filled up all her memory cards and  the boys couldn't wait until I could get another one.  Mark it down for another one of Mom's mistakes.  As Aaron pretended to try and unwrap or look at the floss Gabriel pulled his head away in fear.  Minutes later as I sat watching I saw a piece of floss fly through the air with a tooth on the end.  Before I could even realize was had happened, Gabriel's eyes bulged out of his head and he said, "You'll got my tooth!!!! You pulled my tooth!!!"

And with celebrations, cheers and laughter, we celebrated bloody mouth Gabriel as he beamed in pride he had lost his first front tooth the good old fashion way, by pulling it himself (of course with Aaron's help).

Celebrations turned to excited recounts by each of the boys and immediately preparations got underway to prepare for the Tooth Fairy's arrival.  Gabriel went to the counter, pulled out a baggy to put his tooth in and immediately started walking to his room to put under his pillow.

Meanwhile Michael disappeared into the other room to his art table.  In all the commotion we didn't notice what he was going until he appeared back in the kitchen to retrieve a baggy of his own.  When I asked him what he was doing he said, "Look I lost a tooth too!"  and inside his baggy was a tiny square piece of white paper he had cut out.  He said, "Mom, I'm going to trick the tooth fairy so I get money too!"  I responded, "Oh really Michael, you think you can trick the tooth fairy?" "I am mom, I'll show you my money in the morning" and off he went to put his baggy under his pillow.

Early this morning before the sun rose, I found the boys in their bathroom having a very excited conversation  Although I couldn't tell what they were saying as I approached the door, I knew they were excited because they were speaking loudly although I could tell they were trying with all their might to whisper.  As I opened the door they said, "MOM!!!! The tooth fairy came.  Gabriel said, "Mom, look what I got...

and attached to it was a baggie with some quarters in it.

He was so proud he read the message with his now Jack-O-Lantern smile. 

And then I saw Michael holding something too.  I said, "Honey, what did you get?"  He bashfully smiled and with his I'm instigating a plan in my head look, he said, "look mom"...

He said, "Mom, the tooth fairy knew it wasn't a real tooth. How did she know?"  I responded, "Michael, the tooth fairy is smarter than you think." 

The famous "tooth" Michael left for the smart fairy"

He then went onto laugh and laugh and laugh about how he almost pulled a trick on the tooth fairy.  Both Gabriel and Michael carried around their notes all morning.  And when Aaron and MaeLyn joined us that morning they each excitedly described the story of the tooth fairy's visit over and over.

There's something special about being a kid and believing in all the impossible.  There's also something special about being a mom and believing in the impossible, or at least helping to make the impossible possible.

Until next time,
Angie

Compliment Jar...

Well, it actually isn’t a jar, more of an old cool whip container. But slap some duct tape on it, write a name, paste some stickers, cut a slit in the top of the plastic lid and you’ve got yourself a compliment jar. It isn’t the prettiest but it works.

The brainchild of the compliment jar came from me spending many a nights fretting over how not being the best mom i can be and how some days, scratch that most days, I feel like all I spend my time doing is correcting behaviors and providing discipline. Don’t get me wrong, Gabriel and Michael are not terrible, in fact, most of the time they can be great. However, in my duty to try and make them be the best children and future adults they can be, I feel like most of the words coming out of my mouth are “Don’t do that, NO, I said what I meant, Why did you think that (fill in the blank) was okay to do” and so on.

Some days I admit it, they get the best of me and what comes after the best isn’t pretty. I give up; the frustration and the lack of patience pushes me to the edge and I yell at them. I have many many faults and I feel guilty for the days when I let their bad choices get the best of me. But the truth is, it happens, I say I’m sorry, tell myself to do better next time, and then go forward.

The other day, at dawn, I was out at walking before anyone else in the house stirred (and from my previous posts you know it has to be early), taking my 45 minutes of the day for myself (which by the way will be another post as I didn’t realize just how important that time is and what I was missing). While I looked up at the sky as the sun started to meet the horizon, I reflected back on the night before when the boys decided to have a “challenging” day. I pondered what I could do to turn the consequence train around and replace it with something chugging in a positive direction.  That’s when I came up with the duct tape compliment jar.

Before I go any further, let me share with you that we’ve tried many things to encourage positive choices. We’ve used bribery, sticker charts, bribery, trips/vacations, bribery, rewards systems; did I say bribery?  I feel like we’ve run the gamut of options and although intentions start out great, often 2 or 3 days into it, the boys loose interest, we lack the follow through and soon the boys are back to their old tricks.

Returning from my walk, the boys were up and playing. I told them to come to the kitchen as I had a surprise for them. I explained that I/we wanted them to work on trying to do make as many good choices as they could to get as many compliments as possible. For example, if you listen and do what is asked on the first time and you receive a compliment, you get a penny. If you do something on your own without asking (for example, help change a load of laundry or set the table), you will get 3 pennies. I said, “ You keep track of how many compliments you think you get, and at the end of each day, over dinner, we’ll talk about it. Before bed you get to add your pennies to your compliment jar” Jarrett immediately expressed concern thinking we were going to go bankrupt in the first week, but I assured him we wouldn’t, for there is a second part of my plan. I then went onto explain, that for each compliment you get, you will have at least one penny added to your jar, however, if you decide to make a bad choice, you will lose one penny. Hearing that second part, the relief was clear for Jarrett, indeed, we would not go bankrupt on my new plan.

Unlike the sticker chart, our excellent efforts at bribery, and the reward systems, this was also a plan that involved mom and dad’s active participation as well. See I’ve become really good at giving consequences. It seems sometimes the timer on the microwave (what we use for timeouts) resets itself to the exact time I need for how long the boys spend in the time out chair or their room. That just gives you an idea of how often it is used sometimes. So giving consequences, I’ve mastered.  Giving positive reinforcement and compliments,  I have NOT. It isn’t that I never do it, it is just that I expect the boys to behave in a certain way and when they do it, I guess I just take it for granted and don’t verbally give them the praise they need. Or I look at a period of a day and instead of complimenting them on the 50 things they did well, I focus on the 2 choices that weren’t so great. It is one of my many bad habits and one I need to break. I need to be more aware of and encouraging of the positive behavior.

The other benefit is that the boys are interested in saving their pennies so they can go to “Toys for Me” as Michael calls it also know as, “Toys R Us” to buy something they’ve long wanted. So far they’ve each picked out a Spiderman web shooter. We stopped by another store on Sunday to show them the web shooter and to see how much it costs so we know how many compliments they have to get to buy it. Although they’ll be working at it for a few weeks, I told them if they can get to a certain amount, Mom and Dad will help pay for a few dollars of it too. Jarrett reminded me pennies don’t go too far these days, and most people, if they see a penny on a street, won’t even pick it up. Not this cheap mom, I love to find pennies, but I digress.

 So here we are day 4 into our compliment jar as so far it has been going well. I am quite determined to keep up this efforts as I at least want to see the plan through the boys getting to purchase their first reward on their own. By then I hope they’ve learned they have to work hard to earn enough money to get a toy, that positive choices and compliments are far more enjoyable than consequences and time wasted in time out, and that mom can give more compliments than consequences.

And the lessons to be learned are not exclusive for the two boys. There are very important lessons here for mom to learn as well. That praise and encouragement can go a lot farther than frustration, yelling and punishments. That demonstrating my love instead of my anger is how I want them to remember me when they are grown, and that in the whole spectrum of problems or choices, to let a few of the minor ones go by the wayside.

 My hope is, that with two gaudy looking duct tape jars sitting for all to see on the high counter in our kitchen, I will be reminded daily to make more of an effort at encouraging.

 Please wish us good luck.

Until next time,

Angie

The monster....

at the end of this book.

As a child, it one of my favorite books. And now it is a book I get to share with my sons.

The other night I asked Gabriel to read it to us.

Michael paid very close attention as you can see here.

and here, still playing close attention.  But Gabriel really liked the story and laughed as he turned each page and Grover became even more angry.  If you haven't read the book, I highly recommend it for your kids! 

Gabriel continued reading and at the end I asked them to get together so I could take a picture.

 Smile!

It is amazing to me how big the boys have gotten, in some ways it seems they should still be small. But then I look at them and realize they've already grown so much.

And how can it be that Michael has learned to start reading?  He's doing such a great job and we are very proud of him.

As he read it was Gabriel's turn to listen.  And even though Michael didn't listen too well to Gabriel's story, Gabriel played close attention to Michael's and was a great helper when Michael needed help sounding out a new word.

I am proud of the boys and each new accomplishment they reach.  Each stage of them growing up has been fun and I look forward to all that they can and will accomplish as they get older. 

It still appears we need some help finding matching pajamas but, I've learned now with three kids, you can't sweat the small stuff.

Until next time,

angie