I need time to slow down. Like really slow down. I am doing my best to soak up these newborn moments, but the days keep flying by faster than I can believe.
Today Jennings is three and a half weeks old. I can't even believe it. He has already changed so much from when he first arrived. He is starting to really hold up his head, look around and he's definitely more alert. He's also changed looks, or so I believe. When he was first born we couldn't tell who he looked like. In fact many told us they thought he looked like Isabelle, which is interesting given that she is adopted, but honestly given some of his features, we could see similarities.
One of his first pictures
His picture from over the weekend (yes he still had his umbilical cord- it finally fell off on day 19)
Now I'm convinced he looks just like his daddy. Madelyn was the same way, she looked like him from the start, now I think she looks like me.
Jennings is such a great baby and we are so thankful for his easy-going nature and his love of sleeping through the night (maybe I shouldn't have said this). The doctors want us to wake him up every 4 hours at night to feed him. After we left the hospital, he wasn't eating the best, coupled with his jaundice and he ended up losing weight (got down to 6 lbs 4 oz) and he wasn't peeing or pooping like they wanted him. We were very close to having to go back to the hospital, but thanks to some supplemental formula we avoided that.
Jennings has now figured out how to eat and where it comes from. I think for the first 12 days he thought his hands fed him... he loves to suck on his hands. Now he's got it figured out and I'm hoping my body adjusts and is able to supply him with the milk he needs. Unlike Madelyn where I had milk overflowing in freezers, this is the opposite case. The lactation consultant and the ENT specialist we took him too for fear he was tongue and lip tied (he ended up being okay without any procedures) reassured me that each child is different and that means each time it is different for mom's who breastfeed as well. Jarrett reassures me that fed is best and what ever we have to do, it will all be okay. So far I've been able to provide for him and sock away a small stash for emergencies.
Back to sleeping... last night Jennings went down around 9 (usually it is between 8 and 9) and I woke him up at 2:30 to eat. I'm enjoying the extra bit of sleep, even through I wake up every 3 hours most of the time to pump in between feeds.
Have I mentioned that he likes his hands? He always has them up by his face and while he isn't much for a pacifier, he loves to suck on his hands. So much so that we thought he was hungry all the time, I think he just likes to suck his hands as a calming technique.
He also likes to be swaddled although now at night he likes to have his hands up by his head so we leave them untucked. Usually he has one arm so outstretched that it looks like he's raising his hand.
He's not the biggest fan of riding in the car, unless we are moving. Which means when we wait 30 minutes almost in the parent pick up line for Isabelle followed by 15 minutes for the boys, there are some unhappy times.
Which is usually followed by a feeding session the minute we get home, which leaves him pretty darn happy... and milk drunk.
An example of how he likes to raise his hand when he sleeps.
His newborn onesies and pajamas still are plenty big on him (as you can see here). Last Wednesday when we went for his appointment, he weighed 7lbs, 4 oz, so he finally was back up a pound more than the lowest weight he reached.
I think he's saying here, "Um mom I"m not sure about this outfit. It emphasizes my chicken legs and my belly is getting cold... My pants are too big around so they won't stay up around my waist!"
And now a word about the attention he gets...
Oh my lord is he loved by his siblings. Madelyn and Isabelle absolutely adore him.. I mean they swoon over him all the time. Even now when all the big kids are at school, Madelyn repeats constantly, "Oh my goodness he's so adorable" and she proceeds to gently brush her hand along his foot, or his hair or even his hand. She loves to give him kisses and she calls him "new baby Jennings"
And Isabelle, oh my goodness if Madelyn adored him, Isabelle is a little mother herself. She cries when she has to sleep at night because she misses him so much during the night. And when I pick her up from school she asks me 100 questions about how he is, what he did all day and how he is at that exact moment. She is a little mother in the way she watches out for him, checks on his every few minutes. Tonight she got to comb his hair after his bath and she was in Heaven. I'm confident she is going to make an incredible mother some day.
Jennings and I have spent a lot of time together. He's pretty much attached to me unless he's sleeping. I'm tired, healed up pretty much, but definitely notice the difference going from 4 to 5 with Madelyn who is still young and needs lots of help and attention.
Not to mention the big three that need someone to guide them, help them with homework and keep the train going. Jarrett returned to work this week, and his work is demanding to say the very least. He's been able to come home at decent times each night to eat dinner, but then he returns to his office to work the rest of the night. Such is life right?
I'm feeling my energy levels are at zero and I think I could fall asleep in a moments notice if I let myself, infact tonight when I was tucking in Madelyn to put her to bed, I fell asleep myself first. These days are flying by, and I"m tired, but I remind myself, it is only because I have been so completely blessed.
I have two friends right now who are in different stages of fighting against cancer and I know they are tired and worn out for a completely different reason. My heart goes out to them, and each night when I say my prayers and ask God to place his healing hands upon them, I give thanks that I am tired because of the blessings he has given us.
Tomorrow is our wedding anniversary and Jarrett and I will have been married for 16 years (if my tired mind is remembering correctly) and I think back to our wedding day and can't imagine that this is the life we have created. Who would have thought back on that hot day in August in a rural church in Jerico Iowa, that when we exchanged our vows, we would have faced so many challenges and received all these blessings. Our lives are quite chaotic if you'd step into our home, but its a chaos that feels normal, its a welcome feeling and it is a life better than I could have ever dreamed and wished for.
So as I conclude this post and turn into bed, Jarrett works a floor above me, until who knows how late. And as we celebrate another year of being married, I'm so grateful this night to have him in my life. And to have the opportunity to raise 5 children... kiddos that I try to give everything I can to, children that push me to try to be better, that yes push me to my limits, demand somedays more than I can give, but who make me feel love in ways I didn't know was possible, who gave me the honor of being their mother and who make my live abundantly blessed.
Yes I'm so tired, but life is good.
And I'm so thankful for all of the kids, especially this little peanut...
Until next time,
Angie
