I need you like the desert needs the rain...

Yesterday and today have been beautiful days here in the desert.  Late last week and this past weekend it had been in the triple digits and for someone who once said I'd never complain about the heat, I must admit, I was.  It was too hot too early.  However, a cold front came in yesterday and the clouds filled our normal sunny Arizona sky. 

As I was driving to work yesterday after dropping the kids off at school, I was looking at the sky and for some reason the following lyrics from a song came into my mind..."I need you like the desert needs the rain."  And of course those words got me thinking about my kids..  As I looked at the brown that is all around us here in the desert, it is clear that we really do need the rain.  And then I looked at myself and realized these lyrics could apply to me in my life only exchanging the word rain with my kids.  I've come to realize that my life is complete and full of life because I'm so blessed to have them in my life.  Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying I only need them, the reality is I needs a lot of people, especially my husband,my extended family and our friends.  I guess what I'm saying is that my life, my purpose in being here, is defined by those three little people. 

To think less than 2 years ago, I never would have imagined that Gabriel, Michael or Isabelle would come to be a part of my life story.  I always hoped there would be children and I deeply longed for them, but I can't say I knew just how important those three little people would be in helping to make my life complete. In being their mother and helping them with everything from the basic necessity of giving them food, to simple tasks of getting dressed and doing homework, my life has meaning because of them. 

I think for most people in their lives, making a difference, doing something good and leaving a lasting impression is important.   Some people do this on a grand scale, from being leaders of powerful countries, to doctors saving millions of people with medical advancements.  Many people however are making a difference on a daily basis and not even realizing they are doing it nor getting credit for it. I believe those people are parents. 

I've realized that the way I will hopefully make a difference in the world is through three little people that I love more than I ever knew one could love.  They fill me up with hope that the world can and will be a better place, they remind me that the daily stresses of work, finances and balancing a crazy hectic life, really aren't worth worrying about, and they give me motivation to keep trying to be the best mom I can be, even after they've blown the limit of my patience out of the water.  I never knew I needed them so much until I had them.

So today as Isabelle and I stood outside watching the rain pour down from the sky and celebrating her first rain storm, I sang to her the song that was in my mind since yesterday morning.  "I need you like the desert needs the rain." My hope is that my children will always know how much they mean and how much they are needed.

Until next time,
angie

Hope Ball

This past weekend we attended the 2012 Leukemia and Lymphoma Society's Hope Ball.  Jarrett was notified earlier this spring that he had been selected as their 2012 Person of Hope and they wanted to honor him at this black tie event.

Jarrett and I had been lucky enough to attend this event back in 2010 and when we learned of this news, we were very honored, especially Jarrett, as we realized exactly how big an honor this was.  Thankfully the LLS staff invited our entire family, including Jarrett's mom and dad to attend.  We were very excited.

So on Saturday night, we all got dolled up (or fancied up) and went to the Talking Stick Resort for the ball.  The boys were thrilled with the idea of going to a ball and we used it as bribery for weeks to get them to make good choices. 

I got the boys suites and black ties with white hanker chiefs to wear.  They looked very dapper and Isabelle she got to wear a light pink and white tulle dress with flowers, a pretty bow headband and a flowerette wrist corsage.  She looked amazing.

Jarrett and I did our best to clean up and look nice and with 102 degrees outside we did our best not to sweat through everything.

As we arrived at the event, we were greeted by many oohs and awes.  I assure you, Jarrett and I looked nice, but we knew the comments were not because of how nice we looked.  It was the kids.  There was a silent auction and drinks and we waited for the doors to the ballroom to open. Many many people came up to us and made comments about how cute the boys were and many more doted on our precious little girl.  A few nice people asked, "How old is she?" and when I responded 2 months they said, "Wow, you look great for giving birth two months ago?"  I smiled, laughed and then explained that we were adopting her.  I never know how to take those comments, most of the time I smile and say thank you.  Secretly I wonder if I do look like I have just given birth.

The evening was a night we will always remember.  The boys were so excited to be dressed up so nicely and they soaked up every minute of attention.  Michael was smiles from ear to ear all night.  He loves to get dressed up, so this was his perfect element. 

As the doors opened we found out seats and soon there after the event started.  Tiffanie, the staff member from LLS who planned the event had made special gift bags for the boys, to keep them entertained during dinner.  It was very nice and wonderful.  They immediately started busting out their coloring books and were happy as clams.  Right before dinner, one lady went next to Nana who was holding Isabelle and they started talking.  Just a few minutes later, the same lady was up on the stage, emceeing the event.  She, who turns out to be a local news reporter, welcomed everyone and then said, "I must say the girl who is the best dressed tonight is seated at table 11", which just happened to be our table, "and her name is Isabelle.  She is 2 months old and I've got to know who she is wearing."  The spotlight shifted over and soon Isabelle and Nana were the center of attention as everyone laughed and awed at her cuteness.  It was really neat.

As dinner continued the boys took in every moment and I knew the time for Jarrett's award was nearing.  He had prepared a speech, and I could tell he was a little nervous to give it, given he had only finished writing it 20 minutes before we arrived at the event.  And soon enough the time had come.  One of Jarrett's riding (bike riding) buddies, Jayme Burgess, who was also seated at our table had disappeared a few minutes before Jarrett's award time and the next thing we knew Jayme was on stage introducing Jarrett.  He started by saying... "I met Jarrett in 2010 when he and I were training for the America's Most Beautiful Bike Ride in Lake Tahoe.  As I got to know Jarrett I realized what an amazing man he is.... he is kind, considerate, works hard at his career and is always positive... he continued... Jarrett and I got along really well and although we are not built like your typical bikers (joke), I was surprised one Saturday morning when Jarrett didn't show up for our training practice.  I was worried, and when Jarrett returned the following Saturday I asked him where he had been.  Jarrett apologized profusely and then announced that the reason why he wasn't at practice was because he and his wife Angie had adopted 2 boys through the State of Arizona.  Jayme continued... it was then that I realized the true caliber of my friend Jarrett.

Jayme continued to give a great introduction to Jarrett and then turned it over to the screen where they showed a video tribute they had made about Jarrett.  (A month and a half ago, the LLS staff came out and filmed a video of Jarrett and his experience to turn it into a video).  I'm hoping to get a copy of the entire video and will share it once we do.  Isabelle even makes a few cameo appearances, so I'll also have to make sure it is okay to post pictures when I share it. 

As the video played, and Jarrett recounted his battle with Hodgkin's and Non-Hodgkin's Lymphoma, I must admit emotions from the past 5 years flowed through my mind and my heart.  Within a matter of seconds I was taken back to that terrible Friday, April 13 when the surgeon looked at Jarrett and said, these lumps need to come out right away... that Monday, April 16, when I sat in the waiting room with a lump in my stomach watching the live coverage of the Virginia Tech shootings and worrying as my husband was in surgery having lumps removed from his neck and under his arm.  And that terrible terrible day... Friday, April 20, 2007 when the doctor called Jarrett on the phone and said, you have cancer.  I will never forget the phone call I received from him when he said, Angie, it is cancer and then he started to cry on the other end of the phone. 

In a matter of a second, a picture in a video, it had all come back.  And I continued to listen to his story, with tears running down from my eyes, the story went from sadness and devastation to hope and happiness.  Jarrett then recounted how our lives changed with the words "the cancer's gone" and "you're in remission" and just 2 years ago this next week, when we learned we were going to be parents. Just a few short minutes later, the video was recounting how happy and blessed our lives are.  All the pain, sorrow, hope, happiness and love... every emotion, every event, every ounce of faith and hope that has been our lives for the past 5 years, was covered in that short 6 minute video. 

As Jarrett's name was called and he walked up on stage, I couldn't help but feel so proud of my husband.  I was, I am so very proud of him.  I'm not sure how he got through the battle of stage 3, composite lymphoma and the fact of knowing the odds were not in his favor, but I can honestly say, we both believed from day 1, that he would beat the odds.  He is, my hero.

As we all sat at the table, his parents, the boys, Isabelle and me, we were all smiles from ear to ear and beaming with pride, that our son, our husband, our dad was getting the recognition he truly deserves.  He delivered a great speech that embodies all that hope represents and even if I wasn't his wife I'd say that.

Midway through his speech, Tiffanie, the event organizer, came up to me and asked me to take the kids and join her at the side of the stage, because at the conclusion of the event they wanted all of us to take the stage.

Jarrett wrapped up his comments and before we knew it we were all on stage.  The boys were carrying their piggy bank, which they had been doing chores and various other things to try and earn money.  They then decided to donate all the money they had been saving to help doctors find more medicine to help people.  Gabriel decided he'd be the one to talk on stage and we had been practicing for a few days before.  He was going to say, "We've been saving money to help people who are sick like my dad was.  Will you please help us raise money?"  as they presented their piggy bank to the LLS team.  However, when we got on stage and seeing several hundred people staring back at him, the speech was much shorter, "We've saved money to help people who are sick.  Help us"  Thankfully the emcee knew the message he was trying to say and encouraged the audience to consider giving back. 

We were all able to be up close as Dad was honored with the 2012 LLS Person of Hope award.  What a wonderful honor and to a great person it was given!

As the night continued dinner wrapped up, the desserts were served and the part of the night the boys had been waiting for started, the dancing as the band started playing.  And dance they did, the boys danced and danced and danced.  Soon enough all of the adults were leaving the party and the dance floor was cleared out, but two boys were continuing to shake their booty and dance the night away.  In fact, I have to share this video of the boys busting a move... and Jarrett and I want to be clear that we have no idea where Gabriel learned his moves... we are blaiming it on kindergarten and the song is just so age appropriate for a 5 and 6 year old right? :-) http://youtu.be/E7gqVfeZp5k

The evening itself was more enjoyable, reflective and heart-warming that I even dreamed it would be.  I am so proud of my husband for getting the award and for making a difference.  I felt like I was walking on clouds the entire night and it wasn't just because I was wearing heels. 

The 2012 LLS Hope Ball will be a night we won't soon forget and the boys won't either.  As we left the Talking Stick Resort at 12:10 a.m. with two boys wide awake with excitement, they were all still smiles.  As I helped them change into their pajamas once we got to the car, Michael said, "Mom, my little toesies hurt from dancing so much... but it was so much fun."  And when we got home and I carried them into the house to put into bed, a half awake-half asleep Michael said, "Mom, thank you so much for taking me to the ball.  It was so much fun."

I think for two boys who didn't know what to expect, they saw the ball as their Cinderella night, actually wait;  I take that back... we all felt that way.

Until next time,
Angie

Backyard Kickball...

Our backyard is tiny.  It is perhaps one of the first things we would change about where we live, if we could.  The reason why we would change it is for the boys.  They LOVE to play in the backyard and as they get bigger they need more space.  But they don't seem to mind, as they've never complained about it.  Instead, they make the most of what little space they have and adjust their games to make it work.

My case in point, just today, they were playing backyard kickball.  For anyone who has played kickball, the goal is to run and kick the ball as far as you can and then run the bases, similar to baseball.  Given that we have 20 feet by 10 feet open space to play, the boys have changed up the rules and made accomodations to play kick ball, in yes, that tiny of a space.

It seems they actually may like it better becuase the bases are only 4 steps apart and they always seem to get a home run. Here are a few photos that capture their game of backyard mini kickball...

until next time,
Angie

Where does Milk come from?

Recently Gabriel went on a school field trip to the farm.  He came home telling me everything we eat comes from the farm.  As I mentally reviewed all of the processed foods I ingest, I thought about contradicting his statement but decided best to just let him believe we only eat healthy, farm grown foods.

Before Gabriel's class visit to the farm, we made our own visit to Shamrock Farms with my Aunt and Uncle Barb and Bob earlier this year.  It was a great visit and we learned a lot.  The boys have since become huge fans of Roxie and her chocolate milk. 

Tonight at dinner we were talking about Shamrock Farms and how chocolate milk is made.  Michael was able to recall step by step the process of how Shamrock makes their special chocolate milk.  See, during our visit to their farm they showed us a video that Michael seemed to record in his brain.  While Michael recounted the detailed steps, Gabriel said, "No, that's not how they make chocolate milk.  You take regular milk and then you pour it is a small glass, and then you take chocolate stuff that mom has in the fridge and you squirt it in your cup of regular milk and then mix it up.  That's how you make chocolate milk."

Turns out the boys basically described the exact same steps, only Michael gave instructions for how to make several thousand gallons of chocolate milk while Gabriel explained how to make an individual serving.

After finishing up the debate about how to make chocolate milk and talking about our visit to the farm and tasting the yummy milk, we sat in silence for almost a minute when all of a sudden Michael said, "Where does milk come from again?"

Almost as if he had forgotten how all that milk got into the huge tanks, it only took him a few seconds to remember.  "Oh that's right, I remember, cows pee it out."

I laughed but I guess in a way it kind of would make sense to describe it that way.

I just hope I can get the image of peeing milk out of my mind before morning or I have a feeling my cereal might not sound as appetizing.

Until next time,
Angie

Today's adventure with Michael...

Today Michael stayed home from school and spent the day with Isabelle and me.  We had many things on our to-do list, many more things than I knew I could get done.  Attempt we did and surprisingly we got done more than I thought we would.

One of the first things we did was take Michael to get his hair-cut-fixed.  See I usually cut the boy's hairs and every time my mom is here I beg her to cut them for me.  She's trained in how to cut hair, I am not.  Therefore I just do my best to clipper cut them, shape it up as much as I can and move on.  Normally I wouldn't care too much how their hair cut turns out, but this weekend we are attending a black tie event, the entire family is, as Jarrett is getting honored by the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society at their Hope Ball Gala.  So I want the boys to look nice.

As I attempted to cut his hair, for some reason I decided to use a new attachment on the clippers (that was my first mistake) and before I knew it, I had cut a big chunk out of the hair on the side of his head.  And then I was trying to trim up the top of his head of hair when he turned suddenly resulting in a huge chunk of hair from the very front and center of his head to be clippered out.  Upon that mistake I knew I had to stop and race to Great Clips was a must.

We all loaded up the car and headed straight to there.  As we walked in they said they'd be happy to fix his hair but to sit and wait just a few minutes while they finished up the gentleman before us.  We sat down and Michael's eyes became fixed on watching them finish up the man before us.  As Jarrett would say, he was "follically challenged"  or balding.  As the stylist finished and took off his cape, Michael said loud enough for everyone in the entire store to hear, "Mom did she brush all his hair of the top of his head?"

The other stylists chuckled under their breath, the man quickly put his baseball cap back on, while I turned bright red and quietly explained that next time he should whisper his questions instead of saying them loud enough for the entire salon to hear.

Until next time,
Angie

PS:  Oh and Michael's hair looks good now.  The stylist did a great job fixing, hiding and "blending" in my mistakes.

Poor Jack...

He is truly desperate for attention.  Since I've been on leave from work, I've been home with him and Isabelle most days of the week.  And although you'd think I'd have lots of time to walk him or give him love and attention, the sad truth is, some mornings he gets a pat on the head, a good morning and after that, well, not too much else.

But that doesn't stop him and he continues to persist in trying to get my eyes and hands to go to his level and give him love and attention.  It isn't that I don't want to, I'd love to give him more attention and walks.  The reality is there just isn't enough hours in the day (and I could be giving him it now, but it is past his bedtime and he's decided he's picking sleep right now) and I can only be in one place at one time.  I'm finding with the three kids, I wish I could multiply to get everything I need to get done done.

Jack's my shadow, he follows me from one room to another and I've noticed in the last few weeks, he's almost adopting cat-like tendencies where he'll walk right next to my leg, almost to brush up against it, and say, "Hey momma, remember me, I was your first child and I still love you... do you still love me?"  When he does this, I admit it gets me every time and I reach down to rub his head and show him that yes I do still and will always love him.

And in trying to get attention we've seen that the first one to show signs of jealousy over having baby Isabelle in the house, isn't the boys, it is actually Jack.  Jack has decided that he will do his best to take over, steal or claim anything that is Isabelle's that she isn't using.  For example, today, I had the quilt I made her spread out on the couch for her to lay on and after I fed and burped her, I put both the quilt and burp cloth back down on the couch.  As I walked into the other room with her to change her diaper, Jack decided that was his chance to stake his claim.  When I walked back into the living room here's what I saw...

I couldn't help but laugh because I couldn't even stage something so perfectly.  The way he laid his head right on the burp cloth and his body on the rest of the quilt made me smile.  I thought to myself, man he really is watching ever move I make with Isabelle.  But I can't decide exactly what message Jack was giving me... it could either be
 a) I do what ever it takes to get attention and since that other little thing only has to lay like this to get your attention, I'll show you, I can do it too mom.
or
b) don't even try to take this back mom, she's got to learn sooner rather than later the lesson in sharing, I'm just trying to teach her how it works.  If she'll just share everything with me, we'll get along perfectly.


until next time,
Angie

Runny eggs...

When I was little, my brother and sisters and I would spend most every weekend at my grandparent's house.  While my mom and dad were working hard, we got to spend quality time with my grandma and grandpa.  I know my parents would have probably preferred spending the time with us but they were working to earn extra money so we could do special things.  Turns out that not only did we benefit from them working weekends and getting to do fun things, but mom and dad also gave us another gift, the gift of getting to bond and be so close with our grandparents. 

The relationship I had with my grandmother and continue to have with my grandfather is yet another wonderful blessing in my life.  I love (d) spending time with them and talking to my grandfather each morning and night reminds me that I have so much to be thankful for and what really matters in life.  Sometimes after a stressful day at work, just talking to him and hearing how thankful he is for getting to spend almost 60 years with my grandmother, reminds me to not take the gifts I have today for granted and to enjoy these busy stressful times. 

So you may be thinking to yourself, what does runny eggs have to do with you reminising about your days with your grandparents.  The answer is actually a lot.  Each Sunday morning, my siblings and I would wake up and have a spread of a breakfast with my grandma and grandpa.  Grandma would make sausages, bacon, toast with her homemade strawberry jam, and grandpa would make the eggs.  Those Sunday mornings were wonderful and as the sound of Leo Greico's Variety Time would play in the background my grandma and grandpa would rush through the kitchen making us a feast.  They did everything they coudl to make sure the breakfast was as perfect as it could be.  Grandma knew we'd liked a certain kind of sausage link from the Protovin locker and even better we prefered it without the casing/skin.  So she'd carefully boil the sausages and then peel each one so that it would be just as we'd like.  I ask myself if I'd do the same for my boys and the answer is no, I'd just tell them to eat it with the skin on.  Maybe that is a trait one develops when they become a grandparent.   :-)

And the eggs, my grandpa is the best runny egg maker in the whole United States.  He's carefully cooked the eggs to make sure the yolk didn't break and that the eggs were cooked enough to be perfectly over easy.  My brother and sisters and I LOVED them.  We'd each have several (more than 3) eggs and then when we'd ask for more, sometimes we'd get a yes and sometimes Grandma would say, "Dear you shouldn't have any more, you'll get sick".  That was her way, even when she was saying no to something, it was in the nicest way you didn't even feel like you were being denied the exact thing you were asking for. 

Those Sunday mornings will forever be a happy memory from my childhood.

And runny eggs is what we'd call them then and continue to do today. It turns out, in some strange way, I now get to relive those Sunday mornings on the weekends in our house. When Grandpa Ray visited a few times ago he graciously put his expert skills to work and made runny eggs for the boys. It was a true hit. They love them. They really do! Infact they ask for runny eggs most weekend mornings. And although I can't make them even half as good as my grandpa, I do my best to follow the steps he showed me to make them for my family. And I guess they must be okay becuase the boys scarf them down and ask for them again.

Although I'm not sure the runny egg breakfasts will be as important to the boys as they were for me as a child, but I'm thankful for the chance to get to make them for them.  Not only does it make me feel good that they like my cooking but it gives me the gift of reflecting on the wonderful runny egg mornings with my grandparents.

Until next time,

angie