His name was Gunder

One of my favorite movies as an adult is It’s a wonderful life.   It not only has become a Christmas classic in our home but it is also a movie that I will forever feel guilt over for chastising my dad for watching because it was in black and white.  Not only it a movie that brings me to tears each and every time, but it has become a movie that makes me think of a long, now passed friend named Gunder.

 In many a ways Clarance reminds me of Gunder.  A mysterious man of sorts, one that always brought a smile to our faces and a sweet to our tooth.  See Gunder was a friend of my parents, from when they owned the reception hall named after my dad.  Gunder worked at Chip’s Ballroom for many years and to say his life was easy would be a lie.  Never-having known much about his past until I was older, to me Gunder was the grandpa-type, toothless friend that would come over to our house for weekly meals, or trips out for pizza, and he’d tell jokes, tease us but always in the end give us hugs and candy.  It would be very truthful to say we LOVED Gunder.

 As a little girl, I remember wondering why Gunder didn’t’ have a wife, or any kids but after asking my parents and receiving some answer, I now do not remember, I shrugged it off, as kids do, and accepted him with open arms, also how kids just do.  When I was about 10, I remember one morning, close to Christmas, going to my parents office to see my grandma and grandpa standing in the door telling my seated, mom and dad about a really bad house fire.  I could tell it must have been deadly as I still remember the look on my mom and dad’s face and the seriousness in my grandparents response.   I soon learned that the fire involved Gunder and his family.  Gunder and his sisters’ home caught fire and before the firefighters could get the flames under control, the house was engulfed.  It was only because of a neighbor pushing a tall ladder up along the two-story house that Gunder, was able to get out.  The rest, sadly, did not make it out.

 After the fire Gunder moved from the neighboring town, to ours and into an apartment near the high school and 3 miles from our house.  I never remember Gunder having a car, let alone a driver’s license, and so our “family dinners” continued, with either him walking out to our house or us picking him up on our way to his favorite pizza place, Godfather’s Pizza.  Gunder’s favorite news sources, were the Sun, the National Enquire and even TV Guide.  He always had the latest gossip on when the world was ending, what celebrity was having an affair and where another UFO was found.  He knew we knew he was joking, but he always played along.

 As I got older and got my own driver’s license, I’d sometimes stop by his house to say hi after school and would pick him up to bring him out for dinner.  Even though I was growing from a child to a teenager, one thing stayed the same.  Gunder always had a treat for us.  Looking back now, I realize just how generous he was.  Gunder didn’t have a car, he didn’t have a house, he didn’t go on vacation.  His entire belongings could be packed up in just a few trunks and yet no matter how little he had, he always had enough to give to us.  A tootsie-roll here and a candy bar there.  He’s always come bearing gifts and leaving us with a smile on our face.

 I say Gunder reminds me of Clarance, the angel who had to earn his wings, because in many ways I learned they were similar.  Just as it seemed Clarance got a second chance to do things the right way, Gunder did too.  After Gunder passed away, I learned more about his past and the fact that he had struggled with alcoholism.  That he did have a family and even children, however their relationship was lost after struggling so long with addiction.  And that is why there was no car and no driver’s license.  I couldn’t help but wonder if he ever felt bad or carried guilt about losing the relationship with his family.  If he did, he never vocalized it.

 In the very few but revealing details that I know about his past, I’ve learned there must have been another man behind those glasses but in my lifetime there was only one man I knew.  A man that was kind, that was funny, that lived mostly without, who never complained and who always made the day brighter.  And it is in that way I think of him like Clarance.  He was getting a second shot at life by helping old George Bailey and in a way Gunder was getting his second shot by helping his second family… us.

We lost Gunder in January of 1999.  I remember it vividly.  It was a cold winter late afternoon and I was helping my parents shovel show at one of their rental properties.  Around 4:30 in the afternoon, we heard sirens of an ambulance and I remember thinking, I hope there wasn’t a bad accident as the snow I was shoveling was the result of a nasty January winter storm.  As dusk fell and night approached it was only a few hours later that our phone rang to share the news.  Gunder has passed away peacefully in his sleep.  It was hard for me to accept the fact that he had died, in fact at the wake, I never went up to the casket because I only wanted to remember him as living.  For that is what his spirit was all about.  If you think about someone full of life, that was him.  He was happy, he enjoyed life, he lived simply and he made life enjoyable for others.

 Sometimes at night when I’m saying my prayers, I accidently revert back to the prayers I said as a child.  The prayer that was 7 minutes long and included a laundry list of names.  Along with the names of my family, close school aged friends, and our pets, was the name of another family member.  And his name was Gunder.

 

Until next time,

angie