The matters of the heart...

Today the kids and I made a quick trip to the grocery store.  The trip started off with Michael upset because he had just been in time out for not listening.  He was determined to make the trip not very fun for me and by that, I mean everything I asked him to do, he was set on doing the exact opposite.  Not even in a minute into the store, it became clear that the only way I was going to successfully get out of the store, was to make him stand next to me.

My solution, was to make him hold my hand.  While he was definitely NOT interested in doing that, I made it a point to let him know that because of his behavior, he didn't have a choice.  After a few minutes of getting through the store as quickly as we could, while still holding hands, I started to feel his grip loosen up.  And a few seconds later, like a switch flipped, our hand-holding went from a very clearly forced hand-holding to one of actual love and kindness.  I said to him, Michael I know you don't want to hold my hand, but I'd like to hold your hand nicely, like friends do, because I love you. 

Now right next to me, he looked up at me, kindly squeezed my hand silently saying he agreed and we put our arms around one another and walked down the isle arm around each other.  I told him how nice it was to hold hands kindly and that I loved him very much.  He replied, "I love you too Mom, I'm sorry for being naughty before."  The rest of the trip, no matter what I asked Michael to do, he did it right away.  And my heart went from feeling frustrated and stressed about having to address negative behavior in a very public setting, to having my heart melt.  Through the physical action of holding hands somehow, I'd like to believe the love we have for each other found our way to conquer over the negative feelings that had early been very present.

With the boys getting bigger and being able to do so much for themselves, I've found we don't cuddle, hug or even hold hands like we use to.  I need to remind myself just how much love is communicated in physical touch.  While each and every night we hug and kiss them goodnight, I need to get better at randomly showing them through my caring arms of a hug, just how much they are loved.  While with Isabelle it is easy, as she's often carried, needs constant attention and gets lots of physical care.  Today's lesson was most needed, not for Michael but for mom. 

A reminder that no matter how big my babies get, showing love and caring comes not only from words but also through the caring touch of holding hands and loving embraces at random and sometimes unexpected times.

Until next time,
Angie