For the first 6 weeks of her life, Jarrett and I were able to stay home (at different times to stay with her), but now the time has come for her to begin going to school. It isn't too bad, so far she only has to go on Wednesdays when I go to work. At the end of this month she'll start going more regularly but for now we are slowly easing her into the idea of school.
Turns out, although it is an adjustment for her, it is actually a bigger adjustment for me. I had been counting down the days until I had to take her to school, and Jarrett and I had many conversations about how I was nervous for her to go to school, with so many kids and SO MANY GERMS! I worried that she would not be given the constant attention she is given at home and that somehow she'd forget me over the course of 9 hours. I know these are serious worries right. :-)
And then the day she had to go to school came and being that I had the flu the day before and still felt terrible the next day (on her first day of daycare), I in someway was thankful for the exhaustion and crappy feeling because it distracted me from the ache in my heart as I handed her over to the teacher and said good bye for the day. I guess it was obvious that I was having the same feelings that many other moms (maybe dads) have when they drop off their precious bundle for the first day... all of the teachers from the other classrooms seemed to be lined up in the hallway providing reassuring comments and support as I walked Michael to his classroom...
...She'll be great
.....don't worry about her
..... we'll give her lots of love and attention
..... just remember it is harder for you than it is for her.
I tried my best to hold back the tears as I did know in my heart she would be just fine. It was just me missing her like crazy. The teachers and school director said I could call at any time to check in and I took them up on their offer. I called a few times and with various noises in the background, there was one noise that stuck out. It was her... I could hear hear crying. They reassured me that she was crying because she was hungry and they were warming up her bottle. I called Jarrett, who I think questioned my level of seriousness when I said, I just called the school and I could hear her crying in the background. But it was true, I could tell it was her distinct cry. When I called back about an hour later, I didn't hear any crying and was reassured she was sleeping peacefully.
At the end of my work day, I raced to get to her and could tell it had been a day of adjustment for her too. She was crying and her eyes were all red and puffy... I could tell she had been crying for a while. They said she was fussy. As soon as they handed her over to me, I spoke to her, she stopped crying, looked into my eyes and immediately she seemed at peace. It was the first time I realized, she knows who I am and that I am a source of comfort and love for her.
This past week was her second week of school and things seemed to go better. When I checked in with the school, they said she was having tummy time and playing with the other babies. I'm not quite sure what constitutes "playing" at 8 weeks old, but hey, it sounded good. When I picked her up from school Wednesday afternoon she was again crying but her eyes were not red and puffy. A good sign.
Later that night I realized she had also decided to bring home some stuff from school with her... GERMS. As the evening progressed she became very congested and started coughing. I of course immediately thought the worse so I made an appointment right away for the next morning to see her doctor. By Thursday morning, I could tell, our baby girl did not feel good at all. She, normally very happy and content as long as she's fed and has a clean diaper, was very irritable, sad and wanted to be constantly held. After visiting the doctor and ruling out RSV, whooping cough ( who knew there is an outbreak of it) and other more serious illnesses, the doctor said, she's picked up a case of a "daycare respiratory virus". The doctor has also reassured me that as long as she continues to go to daycare, there will be additional daycare sicknesses she'll be getting.
So the last two plus days have been spent with trying to help her find ways to breath and stay comfortable. I feel so bad for her as you can tell it is exhausting for her just to try and get enough air. We have humidifiers running in each room she is in, we have bugger suckers (or those bulb things the hospital gives you) within an arm reach and she has become a permanent attachment to my body. That is only way I can keep her comfortable and to make sure she is still breathing okay. Her congestion seems to be getting a little better this morning and I hope we are on the up and up.
There will be many benefits to her attending school and I have to come to accept that unless we win the lottery and I can stay home, there will be many drawbacks to having her attend school as well. And well, we'll just have to get through those drawbacks one illness at a time.
Until next time
Angie
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