She’s how big?

Earlier this week, Tuesday, we went in for our weekly ultrasound to make sure “Sweetie Pie” is doing well and still exceeding at her exercise routine (of stretching, breathing, having enough fluid and well, whatever else she’s supposed to do).  This was also the week where we got to measure her again, to see how much she weighs.   The last time we did this was 4 weeks ago at 32 weeks and back then, our little chunky monkey weighed in at 5 lbs, 4 ounces.  In the weeks since we’ve had a few good shots of her packing on the pounds, well, right along with me, if I’m being honest.  Almost like a bear preparing for hibernation,  I’ve been wondering if our little sweetie pie is doing the same.  In the last couple of weeks, we’ve been able to see her double chin, her baby fat roll along her wrist and Tuesday we saw our precious little one has back rolls too.  Our friend MaryBeth tried to get a 4D image of her rolls… saying, “well I’ve never done a 4D image of that, but let’s try it.”  She’s just so darn cute and I can’t wait to kiss those chubby cheeks and hold those puffy hands.  Baby girl’s belly is shaped almost like mine, definitely protruding out below her ribcage. Guess that’s one way she’s taking after her momma.

As much as I joke about how filled out she is, the truth is, I’m just so darn excited to meet her, I can’t wait to kiss every ounce of her.  I’ve fallen in love with her a million times over and this momma can’t wait to lay her eyes on the miracle I’ve been carrying around.  Last Sunday I stopped the nifedipine and also on Tuesday I received my final progesterone injection.  It was so strange to hear Bethany, my home healthcare nurse explain that she would be discharging me from their program and her final correspondence with me would be a phone call in a couple of weeks after the baby is born.  It was so surreal to hear those words.  Since week 16, she had been coming to my house, asking me about the baby, giving me information and helping us to prevent pre-term labor.  And now here we are, almost to full term, and being discharged.  Just how can it be?  One of my biggest hopes, to carry this baby to full term, has become a reality.  It’s still so hard to believe. 

Her foot.

Long fingers

I’m trying now to prepare myself for what labor will be like.  Last time, with Noah, everything happened so quickly, despite having been in bed for a week, that I didn’t have time to worry about labor.  It was just as fast as, “we think Noah’s under stress, it’s time for him to come out”. And a few hours later, he was born.  Now, with no idea of “when” it will start, or how long it will last, and the fact that baby girl is “HUGE”, I’m not gonna lie, I’m a bit scared.  I’ve tried to tell myself this can be like a marathon.  A marathon isn’t easy, it takes a lot of mental toughness, and physical endurance but after you cross that finish line, you’re so darn thankful you did it.  Having a baby is similar I think.  I know the moment she’s born, crying, cradled in my arms, will make every ounce of pain worth it a million times over. 

Last night as I was getting ready for bed, I asked Dad what he’s most excited for, and he said, “I look forward to us getting to hold her and that she is okay.”  I can see the excitement in his eyes, which makes me even more excited.  So much of this pregnancy has reminded us of Noah, and now we are at a point, of being excited, not as controlled by fear, like we were when we was born.  Dad made it a point last night to say, “As we think about bringing her into this world, we have to remember that her story and Noah’s are different. Her birth  will be very different from his and it’s okay.”  I think we both know that stepping back into that hospital will bring back many hard emotions, that grief will resurface and that as excited as we are, our hearts will always ache we didn’t get to bring Noah home.  And as hard as that reality is, I don’t want her arrival to be shadowed by any bit of sadness.  I want her birth to be a celebration.  Noah’s life was a celebration too, he was and will always be our surprise miracle baby, we were told we’d never have.   Nothing, no one, can take that away from him.  And while he’s not physically with us, he will always be a part of us, and that is to be celebrated too.

Baby Noah, all smashed up inside of me.  His hands are on his forehead and his foot is right in front of his face.  Poor little buddy didn't have much room to move around with such limited fluid.  I'll always cherish these last pictures of Noah, as they were the last ultrasound pictures we have from when he was still inside.  

Baby Noah, on the last ultrasound we had of him before my water broke.  

And so we prepare for a great celebration… We look forward to the joy that will fill us as we meet our daughter for the first time.  For the renewal of our faith, our hope, and the truth that our life is full of so many blessings.  For those moments of pure craziness as we become a household with 4 very active children and two very tired parents.  I am excited for it all.  It’s gonna be crazy, it’s gonna be stressful, no doubt very hard most days…. But its truly the life I want and boy am I excited to see it unfold this way.

Yesterday we got to find out how much our little Sweetie Pie weighs…. At 36 weeks… she’s 7 pounds, 7 ounces of pure love.

Sweetie Pie, we hope you come soon…. Mommy, Daddy and your brothers and sister can’t wait to meet you!

Until next time,

Angie