Week 1 and beyond... in review.

I've been trying to find sometime to post an update about how the days have been going since we've been home.  Each night I find myself too tired to do anything but collapse into bed.  Madelyn is a wonderful baby and you'd think our tiredness would be because of her wanting to get up constantly during the night to eat, but the reality is, she is the last of the reasons why we are so tired.  Maddy's pattern of sleep as of late has been glorious.  I hope writing it here, doesn't throw the pattern off, but I have to share.  She is a nighttime sleeping trooper.  She usually wakes up once during the night to eat (somewhere between 12:30 and 2) and then sleeps until around 6:45 and 8.  Yesterday, in fact I had to wake her up at 9:15 to eat.  Momma, needed her to EAT!  The doctor says that's just one benefit of having a "big baby."  We are so thankful.

Madelyn also continues to demonstrate to us her laid back, easy going personality.  Just the other day I was thinking I'd like to get a video of her with her newborn cry.  I have one of Isabelle and while I don't enjoy hearing her cry, I wanted to record it because I feel they change so fast and I want to remember all the stages including the ones from the beginning.  Sadly (NOT REALLY) I haven't been able to find a time when Madelyn is truly that upset to capture her cry.  Usually she wakes up grunting, sucking her hands and searching for her food.  The only other time I've really heard her upset is when we attempted her first bath.  From spending all those weeks in utero, you'd think she'd love the bath.  Nope, not so much... not even a little.  I think its because she got cold.  Or she's just like her brothers in doesn't want to shower to get clean.  :-)  I'm going with my first reasoning.

So in an attempt to catch up in the last week that has been I'm going to give a rapid fire, bullet point summary of all that's happened.... or what I can remember.

Thursday, May 26:  Madelyn's first full day at home.

• Madelyn also went to the pediatrician for the first time.  Doctor says she's a very healthy and strong baby.  Her weight check showed that she continues to gain weight and is inching closer to her birth weight.  When we left the hospital she was 7 pounds 5.5 ounces.  Today she weighed 7 pounds, 9 ounces and grew a 1/4 of an inch, now measuring 20 3/4 inches.  She also insisted on showing the doctor just how good of an eater she is, yep right there in the office.  Doctor said bring her back on Tuesday and if she's back up to birth weight we don't have to come back til she's a month.
• Madelyn also slept pretty much through the night only waking up around 12:30 to eat.  Nursed for almost an hour, went back to sleep and woke up at 7:30 a.m.  Mom and Dad were paranoid most of the night and kept waking up every hour to make sure she was still breathing and checking to see if she was hungry.



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• Madelyn's siblings still adore her to pieces, constantly asking to hold her and stating she's so cute.

I love this little outfit not only because I think its adorable, but it also reminds me of our precious Noah.  In the hospital as the near was drawing close, we were given a box to put his keepsakes in and on the side of the box it read... "Owl love you forever"  Thanks Ms. Janelle for the adorable booties to match!

The gift box we were given in Noah's final hours.  Next to the last of the milk I had to share with him... He never got that.  The box we still cherish as I think its a message he sent to us, and we send to him.

Friday, May 27, 2016: 

• Nana and Papa, Grandma and Grandpa spent the day with us at our house and the boys decided to take off around lunch time to go watch the new super hero movie in 3D at the IMAX theater.  It was a treat for our boys as they've never experienced move watching like that.
• Grandma, Nana, Madelyn and I stayed home and prepared (well not me) for the baptism on Sunday.  I'm so grateful for the grandparents help as they did everything for Madelyn's baptism.  I couldn't have done it, well I didn't do anything for it, without them.  Thank you!

Saturday, May 28, 2016: 

• Saturday marked Madelyn's official first full week of life here.  I can't believe the week went by so quickly, but I guess when we spent the first 5 days of it in the hospital, I can see where all the time went.  
• We celebrated her first week here by having her official portraits taken by our wonderful fiend Mrs. Ashley West.  If anyone ever needs pictures taken I highly highly recommend her.  She is beyond talented and amazing with babies, children, even adults (we often are the most difficult models in her shoots I think). :-)  Ashley and I had talked for weeks before Madelyn was born and Ashley was so willing to keep her schedule open to be able to capture Madelyn's first photos.  We are so thankful for her willingness to fit us into her busy schedule and for the AMAZING job she always does.  Here are a few of the sneak peak photos she shared with me.  I LOVE THEM ALL!!

This picture means so much to me as Madelyn's is our rainbow baby.  Below is the meaning of a rainbow baby and I think it perfectly describes how I feel.  While storm clouds may still exist, we have been blessed with her and she brings us unending, hope, faith and happiness.  This picture captures perfectly how I feel as I look in the eyes of our beautiful Madelyn.

A family in healing... a family with scars unafraid to show, but also a family that strives to make each day great, and hopes for a better tomorrow.  A family so blessed.

Pure love.

God made chubby cheeks for extra kisses.

Soon after her photos were taken her umbilical cord fell off.  It was the life line that connected us together and made her solely dependent upon me.  As silly as it sounds, it makes me feel emotional in knowing that time is now over. 

LOVE

Sunday: May 29, 2016:  Madelyn's Baptism Day & Mom's birthday

• Today Madelyn was baptized.  It was a beautiful service we felt in part created especially for her.  Pastor Troy was scheduled to be on vacation but when we asked him if we could have baptism that day for her, he said he wanted to be there and would make it a point to perform that part of the service.  Pastor Jerry, (our semi-retired pastor) performed the majority of the service.  It was very special to have both of them be a part of the special day, as they both have been son wonderful to Jarrett and I and our family.  Both of them were very important in Noah's life as well, Pastor Troy baptizing Noah and coming to pray with us over him many days and Pastor Jerry there at just the perfect timing when Noah was beginning his final journey here and starting his life in glory with God.  Although I don't remember exactly what Pastor Jerry's prayers were that day when he walked into the NICU at just the perfect time, but I will always remember the way he made all of us feel... calm, reassured and confident that God would protect, love and have our baby by his side for eternity.  Having both of them there on Sunday as we brought our daughter to church for the first time was very special.  And on top of it all, Pastor Jerry's entire sermon was on Faith.  How faith gets us through the most difficult of times, how faith restores one's hope and how faith creates a promise of a better tomorrow.  Exactly all the reasons why we chose Faith to be a part of our daughter's name.  

• Madelyn was blessed with having many family members there to share the day with her and is blessed to have two wonderful sponsors.  Aunt Megan and "Aunt" Angie have graciously agreed to be her Godmothers and we are very grateful. 

Isabelle had a great time playing with her friend from Iowa. 

Monday, May 30: Back to Banner on Memorial Day.

• Monday marked the start of what has been our string of sickness.  I started feeling really crappy Sunday evening and by 10 p.m. I couldn't find a way to get warm.  I took a really hot shower, piled on the clothes, covered myself under layers of blankets and asked Jarrett to snuggle with me to try and get warm.  I knew I wasn't feeling the way I should.  In the middle of the night, I started having additional complications that led me to think I was either experiencing a big infection, or some complications from labor.  I texted my wonderful friend Kristal who gave me great advice and also called my OB's on call doctor to ask for advice.  They suggested I go to OB triage in the morning if I wasn't feeling better.  
• After sweating completely through my clothes, the sheets even the mattress on our bed, three times, and after showering another 2 times before morning, I woke up at 6 and decided I felt no better and needed to go back to Banner to make sure I didn't have an infection.  While I had a 100 plus fever in the middle of the night, by morning and the time I arrived at OB triage, the fever had gone down.  Several tests later, blood work run to make sure my white cell counts weren't too high and my blood level too low, I was told I had contracted a virus (similar to the flu) and that I should return home, drink lots of fluids and rest.  I followed orders and thanks to my mom, who stayed with Madelyn and me all day I was able to sleep about 12 hours during the day.  It definitely helped.  

• Going back to banner especially to OB triage, just a week and 2 days after getting induced was surreal.  They had all the equipment on hand to hook me up to the fetal monitor, to check the baby's heart rate and yet this time I didn't need any of it.  Our baby slept quietly in the car seat next to me as I laid on the bed shivering and feeling achy all over.  Again I told myself... just remember how luck you are to have her.

Tuesday, May 31, 2016: Back to the doctor

Filling out those cheeks even more!

• Tuesday morning we headed back to the doctor this time for Madelyn's weight check.  I still felt pretty crappy but decided maybe this is just how you feel 10 days after giving birth and having a c-section.  I don't know.  Last time, with Noah I just remember feeling so physically exhausted from no sleep, and fully running on adrenaline that was how we survived.  This time I told myself, its how you feel when you have surgery, a baby plus three other kids at home to care for.  
• Anyway back at the doctor's office, Madelyn was called back and the nurse practitioner said  if babies get back to their birth weight by 2 weeks old we are happy.  Then she put Maddy on the scale.  Just 5 days earlier we had been there and she weighed 7 pounds, 9 ounces.  This time she weighed, 8 pounds 4.5 ounces.  She took a double check at her chart, then looked back at the scale.  Then she looked at me.... I said, "She's a really good eater!" and smiled.  The nurse said, "Well, that's great.  She's doing wonderfully and doesn't have to come back until she's a month old.  We'll see you around June 21st. 
• Dad had a big case today that took him to work very early, after a very short night of sleep (less than 2 hours).  Daddy was gone until late tonight but came home satisfied with how the court hearing went despite his foggy brain from lack of sleep.  We should have known pushing it too much would have it's consequences.

Wednesday, June 1, 2016: More doctors visits...

• Not only did mom continue to feel crappy with the "bug" she had caught, but Dad woke up feeling terrible and knew immediately he needed to go get checked out.  Dad returned from the clinic less than an hour after it had opened with the diagnosis of Strep Throat.  He was ordered to stay away from us as much as possible as Strep Throat can easily be given to Madelyn and her her being an infant it can be very hard on her.  This meant mom was on full time baby duty and this is where I again have to give all praises to single parents.... I have no idea how you raise a child without a person to tag in when you need to tag out.  Seriously all credit to single parents.  
• Yesterday also was the day my parents had to leave after spending almost 2 weeks here with us.  It has been so nice to have the extra help and they were wonderful at making meals, taking the big kids, helping me with laundry, cleaning out my fridge, so many things... I s
• tarted to doubt myself that I could do this whole mother of 4 at home thing without extra help.  My sister Megan, her husband Adam and their children Willa and Mason have also been in town and getting to spend time with them has been great, except that I've felt like I have the flu, plus pain from having my stomach cut open and the other pains that go along with having a baby.... in summation... I was worthless, felt crappy and not the best company to be around.  Thankfully they didn't seem to mind and willingly took the kids (our kids) minus Madelyn, to all the fun places they were going.  Yesterday they went to the zoo for the morning and let me stay home to rest with the baby.  

• In the afternoon I went over to their house to see mom and dad before leaving and tried my best to ignore the pain in my throat and the inability to get warm.  Even sitting outside in the 100 plus heat felt more like a refrigerator than an oven.  By 4:30 I asked Jarrett if he would take me to the clinic to get checked out again.  With a 100.8 fever, and symptoms that resemble an infection... the doctor asked me to follow up with my OB to verify I don't have an infection related to the birth, but also diagnosed me with tonsillitis  and gave me an antibiotic.  Worried I had been in closest contact with Madelyn, I called her pediatrician who gave me a list of things to watch for, reassuring me taking the antibiotic will be okay and that they'd get her right in if we see any signs she is starting to get sick.  Often they said, "babies get antibodies from mom that help them from getting sick--- I've been praying to God continuously to help keep her healthy.
• Last night we said goodbye to mom and dad before capturing a few photos to remember the time we had.

And that leads us to today....

we pray we are on the road to recovery... that tomorrow's doctors visit will be the last for a while, and that we can start getting into a routine where we feel we are taking 2 steps forward, instead of 2 steps back.  

That being said... we knew this wasn't going to be an easy walk in the park.  And that we have really had a great week together as our new bigger family.  While we may have caught a few bugs along the way, the love that has been flowing through this house in the last week, is greater I believe than we've ever felt before.  And if that means there's an illness or two (or three or four) to deal with, than I'll take it, because the love this little miss has brought to us and each other is better than anything negative that can come our way.

Hopefully next time, I'll be back sooner.  

Until next time,

Angie