Wednesday, May 6, 2015

Week 10...I got out of bed... barely.

Week 10: Thursday, March 12, 2015

In one of the many resources I seem to be turning to,  I read something this week that made me stop in my tracks.  Literally.  It said something to the following:  Congratulations, you made it to 10 weeks.  Of all the weeks of your pregnancy, this week will be your worst for morning sickness.   Seriously.  It said that.  As I sat there on day 1 of week 10, on the tiny footstool outside my bathroom, I wanted to cry.  Actually I did.  Almost.  Seriously, thank you very much “What to expect when you are expecting…”  but seriously, couldn’t ya just have lied to me a tiny bit?  I mean come on, who in the middle of misery wants to hear that it’s going to get worse.  I mean seriously!  I finally got the courage up enough last week to wave the white flag saying I couldn’t handle the nausea/vomiting anymore, and here I am reading the next 7 days of my life are going to get worse.  Thank you.  Thank you WTEWE for showing me, yes it could get worse.

And to make matters better, it’s spring break week.  Of course not for me, no this happens to be one of the most busiest weeks of the year for me.  Working 6 out of 7 days.  Thankfully my wonderful dad and amazing grandpa volunteered to drive 1700 miles in a full van to come out and watch the kids for me.  That is the most definite highlight for me this week.  And while it is and has been wonderful having them here, I’m struggling to do my best to hid the fact that I want to throw up at the first step into the house.  Seriously, my boys have gotten away with only showering every other day (i.e. they stink) and there are so many new smells in the house, I basically have to talk myself off the urge of racing to the toilet at every breath.  And then there was this morning as I attempted to get ready for work.  In knew in the shower, I was going to happen.  I opened the shower door, threw a towel on me and raced to the toilet.  After getting sick 7 times and hoping I hadn’t woken up the rest of the house with my retching, Jarrett mumbled, “I’m sorry” while still half asleep.  I knew he knew what I was doing.  Feeling like I had been hit by a truck, I laid right on the tile floor with my towel half strewn about me, until I felt the contractions of my stomach subside.  I attempted then to get up and continue on getting ready.  I tell myself, baby steps… just put your make up on, it’s okay if you slick your hair back and don’t do it.  Just try to eat a small bowl of cereal.  Now drive to work, yes it’s okay to have the window down for fresh air while the heat is on high as you shiver with the chills.  Tell yourself, it’s almost over.  Only a few more weeks til the 2nd trimester.  Pray again to God, I feel better in a few weeks. 

I hope Grandpa and Dad haven’t noticed the signs.  A)my house is a disaster.  B) the huge box of prenatal vitamins sitting at my best stand. C)the fact that I come home from work and lay on the couch every day.  D) I couldn’t help but take a nap yesterday after work.- I AM DRAGGING! I pretend that I’m the great pretender and no one knows.  I worry someday when I actually spill the beans, they will say, “We knew all along, we were just waiting for you to tell us.”

The other big thing going on this week is that I’m fighting/attempting to become informed/connected to all the insurance hoops I need to jump through.  I get it, I’m old and pregnant.  Can you just tell me what tests you’ll cover and what you won’t so I can tell my doctor what to order?  Do I need to call the doctor and then call you Mr. Insurance man 3, 4 even 5 times a day just to try and get this diagnostic code, and justification reason for each and every test?  Can’t you just give me a list of what you will cover for a 35 year old, infertile that miraculously became pregnant?  Don’t you just have some code for that?   Honestly, dealing with them is enough to give me nausea.  Thankfully, I think the insurance I have is half way decent (verdicts still out since so far they’ve “denied” every pregnancy claim, that’s been submitted so far.  On phone call 4 today, I figured out they were denying my claims because they thought I had another insurance.  Ah, no insurance I only have you, so will you please pay the flipping bill?   I didn’t say that exactly, although I wanted to. 

The other thing I did was sign up for this blue pregnancy something or another.  I was talking to a friend about what she did when she was pregnant (using a cover story of course) and she started telling me about the need to sign up for some pregnancy program with her insurance that saved her almost a $100.  Of course I went right back to my computer and started researching what sort of program our insurance had, if any.  So I signed up for some blue pregnancy plan where a nurse calls me to check in, and they recommend I eat healthy, exercise, don’t drink or smoke.  I listened patiently, while I wanted to tell them… listen here lady… I eat whatever I can stand to choke down that doesn’t immediately come back up.  I’ve tried your healthy food… carrots, strawberries, yogurt, broccoli, none of that wants to stay down.  At this point, chicken strips and fries is staying down, so please give me a break on my diet, I’ll try to eat better in phase 2 of this journey.  Until then, I’ll follow your guidelines about no alcohol or smoking.  After that, give me a break.

Let’s see, in other news, I’ll give you the weeks highlights….

How far along are you? 10 weeks, 5 days
How I’m feeling?  There’s definitely a pattern here.
Total weight gain…  Not sure… the way I’ve been eating, I should be gaining a ton… let’s see, so far this week Red Lobster, In & Out, Buffalo Wild Wings… not good.
How big is baby? The size of a prune (by the way I need to make them a staple in my diet)
Maternity clothes…  Nope.  But have noticed I like the pants that don’t seem to tight on my stomach.  Moving on to my “fat day” pants on a regular basis. 
Sleep…  Pretty good, thanks in part to those happy pregnancy night pills
Best moment this week… Having my Dad and Grandpa come spend time with them.  I’m so thankful for their help and the low key highlights of watching them enjoying an old John Wayne western movie.  Or watching my dad and grandpa play pretend tea time with Isabelle.  So many happy moments of having them here.
Movement… (sung to Megan Treanor’s All about the base)  It’s all about the gas, bout the gas, no tremble!  (seriously, I’ve lost my mind to actually be writing this)
Food cravings… Everything tastes yucky, while when I’m actually eating is about the only time I’m distracted from the nausea in my innerds.
Food aversions… EVERYTHING.
Belly button in or out… In
What I miss… Feeling like my old self. 
What I’m looking forward to… telling people.  It’s hard to feel so crappy, to have to come up with excuses about why I don’t want to do anything other than lay on my couch and to get advice from people about what they did.  To know if I’m at all normal, or just a complete wimp who has nothing better to do than to whine. 

Until next time,
Angie


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