And with our angels...: MaeLyn and Aaron's Special day...

9 months ago my sister MaeLyn wed the love of her life Aaron. It was a beautiful celebration filled with many special touches that created memories to last a lifetime. MaeLyn and Aaron’s wedding was a celebration of all celebrations and I think to them it not only signified the joy and anticipation they share in looking toward the future, but also a nod to their past, all they’ve had to overcome and a final dis to the challenges they’ve overcome in their time together.

Watch this video which perfectly captures their beautiful day...

https://vimeo.com/141759252

While I didn’t blog about it back then, I definitely wanted to recount their wedding here, because it was a significant time in their life, it truly was a joyous celebration and I look back now and am thankful for all the extra touches my sister and brother-in- law did to honor Noah and the difficult time we were in.

Here is the link to some pictures from their wonderful celebration.

http://jadesigns.pixieset.com/aaronandmaelyn-2148241/

While there were many special parts to their day, some of my favorites were watching Aaron see MaeLyn for the first time, hearing them exchange their vows, watching as they soaked up the moments of being surrounded in love by so many, and by seeing just how happy they were.

Some other of my favorite moments were watching my children being able to be a part of a wedding. The kids LOVED getting all dressed up in their “Better-than-Sunday-Dress” and to dance the night away playing, drinking soda and staying up WAY past their bedtime.

The kids LOVED playing with the rose petals after the wedding. It "rained" roses several times.

I was emotional about being there, it was so hard for me in some ways as I knew I was instead supposed to be in Arizona, with less than 2 weeks to go until my due date, pregnant with Noah. Instead Noah made his presence known by showing us a tiny rainbow in the sky in the middle of a beautifully sunny fall day.

And MaeLyn and Aaron decided to incorporate Noah’s importance in our lives by having a memorial candle I got to light at the ceremony, listing him as an honorary groomsmen and picking their first dance of the night to be “Baby Noah’s Song… Stand Up and Dance with Me.”

MaeLyn and my other sister Megan decided that the first song would actually be a song the entire wedding party would get to dance to, a choreographed dance number where we learned special moves and then performed almost like a flash mob at the dance. It was fun to learn the moves especially to watch the groomsmen (especially those who are musically challenged) try to learn the dance. And then the day of, when it was time to actually show those who were in attendance at the wedding our song, it was a lot of fun!

I’ve thought many times since their wedding day about that performance and about the extra things they did to honor our tiniest angel. I don’t think I ever verbally told MaeLyn and Aaron how much it meant to me. How much it still does. I know that weekend I was very emotional…. I wasn’t in the happiest place, and I had a hard time with the grief that was holding me down. I love my sister and Aaron tremendously and I feel bad that my sadness was still so present despite my happiness for what they were experiencing.

When I first found out I was pregnant with Noah and realized my due date was going to put me in a situation of being unable to be at their wedding, I felt bad. I tried everything I could to negotiate a way to be at their wedding and when I realized there just wasn’t a chance, I felt bad. Sometimes I wonder if my guilt about not being able to be at their wedding was a reason why Noah came so early. I guess I’ll never know, it is probably a guilt I’ll carry around the rest of my life and something I pray to God was not the real reason my water broke so early and Noah had to leave us.

Those were the thoughts that ran through my mind as I returned to Iowa for the first time after losing my son. Those were the judgements I worried I had vocalized in this blog and that readers may think about as I stood up next to my sister on her special day. I confided in Jarrett who told me that my thoughts were not accurate, that my fears irrational and that I should do my best to be in the moment, for one day I was going to look back on MaeLyn’s wedding and be able to see it as an event of love and joy… not of our deep sadness.

And that’s how I feel today. I can look back at the pictures, the videos of the love expressed on that day and realize, that while my heart was broken and consumed by the loss of my son, there was so much love shared in those few days, that it’s impossible not to remember their wedding with anything but joy.

Thank you MaeLyn and Aaron for letting us be a part of your wonderful day, for the extra special touches you included to honor and remember Noah and for the fun and joy you shared with us. Your wedding was a beautiful tribute to the amazing individuals you are, to the faith that you have that good will always overcome tragedy and that love conquers all.