Tonight, we sit at home for what seems about 10 months as we try to stay healthy and avoid a bad situation. We don't know what tomorrow will bring, next week will bring or even the coming months. In some ways that is our reality of every day of our life, but in "normal times" before this I do feel like we did have some control over what our future days, weeks and months would look. Now I feel like I can't even make a decision about letting my child go to his confirmation class tomorrow night because I'm not sure what tomorrow's numbers will look like in regard to our increased COVID-19 cases. In thinking back to this night 5 years ago, I find such a strange similarity. Nothing was certain during that time either. We were just living life by the hour, praying for more time to pass and begging God to hear and answer our prayers.
Of all the days I spent in antepartum, this was the day I remember looking over at Jarrett at one point and telling him it was hard to breathe. The magnesium had been on constant drip for days and had definitely taken its toll on my body. I couldn't stand up to get to the bathroom, I couldn't lift my arms or legs were well and it finally had gotten to the point where I didn't even feel like I could breathe... it just felt like too much work.
I remember going to "bed" that night and being worried for I knew they were scheduled to turn off the magnesium the next day and I was worried I would go into labor the next day and it would be too soon to save Noah. I was so worried and I prayed constantly that night. When I went back through my phone I have one video I recorded in the middle of the night where I spoke to Noah and God and begged him to save our son. I still find it hard to listen to my pleas for help. I had such great hope that my prayers would be answered and my faith so strong but fear still controlled me and I worried what would happen. I would not sleep much that night, but I would wake the next morning and call for our family to bring the kids to the hospital for I wanted a family picture with all of us for I feared it might be our only one we got... and his name we would share... we had decided that night.
Until tomorrow...
Angie
Dear family and friends:
Angie is resting peacefully at the moment. Today, she received the second and final round of steroid shots and continued receiving magnesium sulfate (the medicine that both reduces contractions and protects the baby's brain) and prophylactic antibiotics, among other things. She began feeling quite weak -- really wiped out, in fact -- over the course of the day and experienced difficulty breathing, sitting up, or standing for even a second, so they reduced the magnesium sulfate drip by a third. She seems to be feeling a lot better as a result, and the contractions seem to remain under control. There are no signs of infection, either. The baby's heartbeat remains strong. Last night at about the same time, he seemed to be very active; the nurses said he was really having quite the "play time in there." He seems to be active again right now. I guess the evening is fun time for him.
Tomorrow at 1:30 pm, the steroid shots will be fully effective in promoting lung development, and they will take Angie off the magnesium sulfate. Then, we will continue waiting and hoping to push off the delivery as long as we can. The latency period (the period of time between the rupture of the membrane and delivery) in such cases varies dramatically. For some, it is a matter of hours or days. For others, it can be as much as 10 weeks. The mean is two weeks. As I mentioned, every day that passes is beneficial. The survival rate in the 23rd week of pregnancy increases by about 1.5 to 2% every day that passes over the course of that week. He is a little larger than his peers at this point (707 g as of a day and a half ago) and otherwise healthy, both of which also help.
We are taking it hour by hour, day by day. We appreciate your prayers and continued support, including all of the offers to watch the kids, bring over dinner, and help in any way possible. We can truly feel the love.
Jarrett and Angie
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